tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-813226226435267302.post1779756187181429247..comments2023-07-16T06:16:57.824-07:00Comments on Foreigner in my own backyard: It's time for equivalent exchange folkscrimsonlanternhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09586441423386494027noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-813226226435267302.post-74744382317689777182013-05-02T16:54:54.565-07:002013-05-02T16:54:54.565-07:00I agree. I used to have bigger blowouts where thin...I agree. I used to have bigger blowouts where thing would get thrown but those events didn't happen very often at all. It wasn't until I started hurting physically ad hurt my back that I started having leaks from frequently. It really sucks. I really do hate upsetting people. But at the same time I just want to tell people to fuck off because I'm so tired of holding things back and trying to be calm and held together all the time. <br /><br />I don't think you should have to apologize for when you've blown up at people. They were the reason why you blew up but that's advice I should either eat or take myself. I apologize for being cranky when people have pissed me off and pushed me to my limits too. I really wish we didn't have to deal with instances like that. But I suppose that is life Yuck! I feel like I m not making much sense today. I am so tired. And Galen is licking my plate, great. -.-crimsonlanternhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09586441423386494027noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-813226226435267302.post-55972315525662188462013-05-02T16:48:46.688-07:002013-05-02T16:48:46.688-07:00I love you too and I know that you can't be ke...I love you too and I know that you can't be keyed into me all the time, which is okay. You don't really need to apologize, I just needed to vent a little and get stuff out.crimsonlanternhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09586441423386494027noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-813226226435267302.post-64445680531057252472013-05-02T16:47:04.876-07:002013-05-02T16:47:04.876-07:00Love you too, Kitty-KatLove you too, Kitty-Katcrimsonlanternhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09586441423386494027noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-813226226435267302.post-51078003177046693122013-05-01T01:21:54.679-07:002013-05-01T01:21:54.679-07:00I'm with you because I love you and I think th...I'm with you because I love you and I think that I probably see your best and your worst sides. I feel privileged in that because I know that you work so hard not to let others know how you feel, but I get to know. And I know that I forget or overlook the physical and mental pain sometimes and I apologize for that. ddshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11561186803031542520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-813226226435267302.post-70100355707315603692013-04-30T22:42:49.282-07:002013-04-30T22:42:49.282-07:00Love you, Hannah-chan <3Love you, Hannah-chan <3KatWarriorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05990692167736071971noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-813226226435267302.post-71054867464111659742013-04-30T19:32:34.907-07:002013-04-30T19:32:34.907-07:00I'm so sorry Hannah. You and I are alike in s...I'm so sorry Hannah. You and I are alike in so many ways it's not even funny. <br /><br />It's horrible walking around feeling like you've got 10 pounds of emotional and physical shit crammed in a 5 pound bag because of cramming stuff inside. It's hard enough for friends and loved ones to see me in pain, I don't want to add to it by talking about how much I sometimes just want to end it. Then I get to feel guilty twice over: Once for feeling like my problems are a 'drag' on the ones around me, and twice for talking about how bad I /actually/ feel all the time.<br /><br />You do work hard at being patient, Hannah. You do it so well that you make it look like second nature-like it comes easy, even though I know it comes at a great price to you. And when you do rant or complain, you even do that as politely and quietly as possible. You seem to let yourself have 'little leaks' of a sort. <br /><br />I wish I were better at that. I don't have little leaks, I have explosions and the shit falls on whoever happens to be in my proximity; then I have pain, shame, and the need to make amends on top of it. And that hurts the most because a lot of the time [primarily with the ex or some of his family] they contributed to the pain and stress and weren't listening when I was saying, "Please stop. Okay, that's enough..boundaries, people, boundaries!" Then they get full of righteous indignation at my verbally abusive outbursts. And in the case of the one sister in law, she always hated me /because/ of my forbearance; I was just a little goodie two shoes who's shit didn't stink like the rest of the world. If I could count on my fingers how many times they've apologized for things they've done to me, well, lets just say I wouldn't have enough fingers to wipe my ass. >:( The most I've gotten in the way of an apology from my sister in law was, "I suppose there are things I could be sorry about." And that was said to my ex, not even me.<br /><br />It does seem that silent sufferers and patient, forbearing people aren't 'allowed' to be as human as the rest of the world. I guess when we come unglued it scares people. But God! Enough is enough and too much is too much. :(Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16414080123441313048noreply@blogger.com