tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-813226226435267302.post9139442267743258319..comments2023-07-16T06:16:57.824-07:00Comments on Foreigner in my own backyard: To Hunt a Killer, Post Op Appointment, Down Moments, No Pressurecrimsonlanternhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09586441423386494027noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-813226226435267302.post-45642333257973996582017-04-02T22:18:59.490-07:002017-04-02T22:18:59.490-07:00You will find what you are looking for, I think yo...You will find what you are looking for, I think you just have to hang in there. Remember that you are still in a state of grief and maybe even flux. You've had some big changes in the last couple of years, even the last several months. None of that was or is easy. <br /><br />I know I have to be careful, but do you think I am? No, because I want to push on. My brain says "get up, keep going" my body says "Nope, you're down for the count," it feels like my brain is trying to drag the rest of me along and it can't. If that makes sense. <br /><br />The cat place was probably too much and certainly going shopping was too. But at the same time, it was nice to get out and see big kitties. crimsonlanternhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09586441423386494027noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-813226226435267302.post-8396086802489534812017-04-02T22:12:41.278-07:002017-04-02T22:12:41.278-07:00It is difficult to remember to be kind to myself. ...It is difficult to remember to be kind to myself. I feel as if I should be able to do everything. <br /><br />I hate the feeling of days dwindling away, it leaves a bitter aftertaste in the mouth, creates an underlying panic, and makes things you feel like shit. <br />Try doing one page at a time. Or one panel at a time. Even if it is just the pencil work. Graphic novels are hard. I had a couple ideas for some a few years ago but I could never draw well enough to get things out.crimsonlanternhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09586441423386494027noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-813226226435267302.post-41359413096541238702017-03-29T08:39:43.354-07:002017-03-29T08:39:43.354-07:00Just do what you can do, it's all you can do. ...Just do what you can do, it's all you can do. Seems I spend every day of my life looking about and feeling pressured by the expectations of others and just wanting to make it all go away. Then looking about for direction because I'm uncertain of my own ability and unsure what I want.<br />Yes,. I'm 51 and I stiiillll haven't fooouuund what I'm looking fooooorrr! Lol! <br />Yeah, not funny I guess.<br />Take your time healing. It's only been a few short weeks. I know you're anxious to move on in life in a body that's held you hostage most of the time but rushing things will get you set back. I'm glad you got to go to the kitty sanctuary place yesterday, but that was still pushing your luck, imo.<br />No matter. I don't know what's best for you. Only you can really know that.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16414080123441313048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-813226226435267302.post-66736819115190458202017-03-29T03:31:44.901-07:002017-03-29T03:31:44.901-07:00I hope you're coming along ok. Reading your su...I hope you're coming along ok. Reading your surgery post brought back a lot of memories. Take it easy and be kind to your body, but most importantly don't rush into anything - I made this mistake wanting to get fit and I think ultimately I messed up the pelvic floor even more so! I can sympathize with the pressure from your gramps, I've been an artist all my life and everyone does that "you're going to be a great artist some day" shit, which puts my anxiety through the roof as I realize days are just dwindling away. I've already had a couple of graphic novel ideas but I just can't get anything done, arrgh!Ladyfairhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17402600337611206195noreply@blogger.com