Photography Instructor

Normally, I am much more patient when it comes to my instructors. I know that the probability of them having more than one class and since each class often times has 27 students , I try to give them time to grade my assignments and get back to me via e-mail if I have questions. But today, I have had it with my photography instructor. In fact, I am so pissed at her that I can't even work on any homework for her class. This is quite possibly worse than the Astronomy teacher who dumped me from his class after I missed three weeks because of a stomach infection despite me having all the homework and the final project finished and ready to turn in before the final test, and knew it because I got told him as much, several years ago.

I fell a week behind in class after a week and a half where I could barely stay away, much less move, or go out to take photos. This was because I was having a particularly bad period (PCOS strikes again) and my fibromyalgia flared up as well. I emailed her and let her know what was going on and she said everything was fine, get things in as soon as I could. So I did that. 

In the last couple of weeks, due to the raging fires in my part of the country- which she knows about too- I have had trouble getting out to take photos and got a little behind again. I'm sorry, no photography assignment is worth me risking my health or that of my 'model' via smoke and dust inhalation. I also had my model's work schedule to contend with and have a day where I wasn't in a too much pain to go out and get the shots I needed. I have been working to make those assignments up as well and had managed to get caught up. 

Well... *insert rage fit* This woman leaves comments in the grading section where in she tells me that the instructions from the beginning were that I needed to submit my files in PDF form not JPEG. Which is really fucking hysterical because I e-mailed her about this very thing since all my other classmates were submitting things in JEPG form. Her response to that e-mail was that she was confused about my confusion and didn't bother to try and clarify. On top of that, I have been submitting all my short answer quizzes in .odt files, which for those of you who don't know, is open office. So she gave me an BIG FAT ZERO and said that I needed to resubmit it the quiz because she can't read the file. *SCREAMS* Are you fucking kidding me?!!!! She also gave me 2 points out of 27 on my critiques for my other classmates stating that all I did was tell them that their photos were great. Bullshit! Yes, I told them that their photos were great, because they really truly are but I also discussed composition and use of deep and shallow depth of field. I mean really? Do I need to screen shot every single post and e-mail?!

My neighbor wants to do just that and send it all to the Dean of my college with a letter of complaint. I probably should, but why do all of that and waste more of my time, when I can just wait for the instructor eval form to come up and make my complaints there. I figure by the time I go in and "fix" everything and finish out this last week, I will at least pass the class. Then I can call adobe and cancel my 30 subscription because that was a bit of a nightmare (they charged me twice for one month) and be done with it all. 

I just need a fucking break. I need a week to decompress and do some things that I have been putting off. I need to breathe. I need to start writing again damn it!

Government shut down? Really, Congress, really?

As I am sure the rest of the world along with nearly every American in the USA knows, our Government decided to shut down last night at Midnight. How lame. How pathetic. How inexcusable. No wonder the rest of the world laughs at Americans. No wonder they don't take us seriously. 

One of my friends from High School works for the government in some fashion and she is not only NOT getting paid right now but she is REQUIRED to go to work. Explain to me how the hell, in this country, that is even legal? Explain to me why the hell our politicians and president get their pay checks and benefits while my friend and others like her aren't. They aren't better than she is. They aren't better than any other American in this nation. More importantly they ARE NOT more ENTITLED than anyone else just because they are politicians. 

The worst part about this is Republicans and Democrats and even the President are all pointing fingers at each other, playing the blame game, refusing to take responsibility for their idiocy, their childish behavior, and complete and utter lack of respect for not only each other but most importantly the American people who hired them in the first place. And we hired them to do a fucking job, pass reasonable and intelligent laws and policies, and protect us from terrorism, not sit on their collective asses and scream at each other like bitchy, spoiled, snot-nosed teenagers. 

The fact of the matter is, they don't give a shit about the American people. They just want money, to be exempt from a health care plan that is was bad to begin with, and you know it's bad when they are offered and exemption from it, and they want to move this country out of the realm of democracy and into something very akin to Socialist and or Fascist State. Why? So that they have all the power and money to do whatever the fuck it is they want to do and no one can fuss about it. 

Frankly, I'm so sick and tired of this shit. I'm so sick and tired of politicians pushing to have more power, more invasions of privacy under the guise of 'we're just trying to protect you', more bitching about people having guns and always, always blaming on mental illness instead of recognizing that some people are just fucking EVIL, and most of all I am so sick and tired of them fueling the wildfires of a class war that they most likely planted the seeds of.  Things need to change and they need to change soon. Congress AND the President need to grow the fuck up, stop fighting, and come up with some damned compromises. There MUST be some give and take. 

Really?!

All day today I've felt like I had this mild pressure in my head. I thought it was just tension headache coming on, took some Advil, and then went about my business. But as the day wore on, it gradually became worse. I wouldn't exactly call it painful, it hurts just enough for me to pay attention but not enough that I feel like I need to take anything for it. 

Strangely, my skin is hot. Just my head, face, neck, and my shoulders. My skin used to head up now and then when I was younger, so much so that you could feel the heat coming off me if you held your hand about an inch or two away. And I never felt sick or like I had a fever. But today, I feel tender when I feel hot. Since I was recently diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, I wonder if, at least the skin issue of this, is due to that. 

I've taken one Ibuprofen and have an Ice pack on my head. It's helping. However, the comment I received from Skoora's dad did not help. Skoora was being really nice and rubbing my head. Her Dad wanted us to put on a movie from our Instant Que on Netflix and we both asked him to hang on a minute. He got a little impatient and when I tried to explain, he said something really rude and mean. I know that I run a little on the raw side sometimes but when Skoora even jumps in and and tells him he's being an ass, mean, and rude, then I know it's not just me. 

Of course there is always something wrong with me, I have a herniated disk and fibromyalgia. I live with chronic pain everyday and even though I have pain meds to help combat it, they don't take all the pain away. Some days are worse than others. Some days all I want to do is stay in bed and be left alone but I manage to drag myself out of, try to be positive and helpful, and cook his damned dinner and pick up his house. I don't have to cook and clean, I do it because I live here and want to be helpful. And I never seem to get a break because I'm stuck entertaining his wife most of the time because he won't get out of his damned chair, stop watching the damned news, and do stuff with this wife.

And what the fuck?! I don't even complain to him about my back, in fact I rarely tell anyone how bad it gets. If I do say something, I try to only say it Skoora and quietly so I don't bother anyone else. So, I am a little pissed off and I think I am just going to go to bed.