So much news, sick, flashing lights on my street.

Our house is situated near a fire station to west and police station to the east. We also live on a relatively busy street. There's almost constant traffic and we often see and hear emergency vehicles speeding passed daily, but we don't really mind. But this morning six emergency vehicles zoomed passed and I looked up a news source to find out what the hell was going on. Turns out someone was getting evicted from their home about 4 blocks away and there were shots fired. I don't know if they fired at someone or if the police fired at them, but not long after an ambulance sped passed our house heading the other direction. 

We also had a homeless man walk up to Amanda, startling her, asking for food. She was so frazzled that she couldn't figure out exactly what to give him. She gave him hard boiled eggs. But that was Saturday.

Today, after a night of coughing, crap sleep, and bizarre cat stuff along with some other tidbits, my shit-tolerance level is at zero. I'm also going to try to keep this as short as possible.

Post a lot of frustration, some tears, and internal struggle, I decided that it was in my best interest to quit the Wiccan Seminary I'd been going to. I'd with a couple of lessons, struggled with some structural and organizational elements, and the time I was spending on all of it. Worse, when I tried to not go to as much so I could spend more time with Amanda and do other things, I only felt guilty for not doing school stuff and couldn't enjoy anything else. I even felt guilty for not doing school related stuff on my birthday. That's unacceptable. Granted the guilt part is on me and that's something I fight with all the time, but I don't need one more thing to feel near crippling guilt over. 

Then one morning, at devotional, I was listening to the Charge of the Goddess and had a moment where I was swept up by a surge of "what the fuck am I doing? I'm wasting my time doing this instead of what I set out for myself to do this year". That's when everything exploded in my head. It took me several days of wrestling with my feelings, consideration, and a lot of discussion with Amanda before I emailed enrollment to withdraw. I thought, I can always go back. I can always hop on the sim for events put on by the school, even if I feel like an awkward outsider about it (again, that last part's most likely on me).  

Today, I'm not sure I want to return. I got online to check my school e-mail to see if I had any response or messages and I also wanted to check to see if I the work in my classes had been graded so I at least knew what I got. Only I couldn't and I'm a little pissed about it. It took my instructors sometimes several days to get back to me on homework questions, the dean a almost two weeks to answer a question, my supervisor for the scholarship work two weeks to get back to me about a concern and I didn't really fuss. As in, I only fussed to Amanda and a friend and not even that much, because I understand that people are busy and have lives. However, I send in an intention to withdraw on Friday and by Monday I am shut out cold. WOW, that's rude. I can still access my e-mail from SNHU and I graduated in 2016. Again, this is frustrating because there were things that I was enjoying. 

So, now that I have the majority of my days back, what am I going to do with them? Well, what I should have been doing. Unpacking and cleaning my house, writing, and exercising. I recently changed doctors again but I will talk about the outcome of that in my next post. I'll talk about my birthday weekend as well.

Other than that, I've been sick with something. I tried a nasal sinus rinse and a different cold medicine, both picked up from the health food store down the road. Those combined with tea have helped a lot. I'm still a little icky, but not nearly as bad I was. So yay there! 

Oh and my Mom and her older sister seem to still be doing well. 

Goals for 2018, update, and disaster phone and tears.

Found this awesome picture over at The Latest Kate on Facebook.

This morning has been relatively quiet in our house, of course now that I have said that, the in-laws will appear from the basement, and it will be noisy until they decide to leave, but that's okay. I am ready for it. I think. LOL! I've a little bit to share today, so I'm going to keep things as short as possible. 

First, the cell phone arrived and I am shipping right back to the seller. We've already put in for our refund because that piece of shit was unacceptable. Advertised as new, we received what looked to either be someone's trade in or a stolen phone. The screen was shattered, the sides dinged up, and not even the right screen protector sticker on the front. the sticker was for another brand of phone. On top of that, the box it came in said the phone was white, it was black. And there was a new charger inside so I know the seller had to have looked at it and just didn't care. Guess again. But what is strange is that the seller was Samsung on Amazon. 

Amanda and I both need new phones and as much as I would like to stay with T-Mobile (My Dad and I have been loyal customers since I was in high school), Metro PCS has some better deals on their plans and we'd get two new, free phones. But, we will see. So for the time being, I am still without a cell phone. 

Second, we're still going, going, going. Despite being home most days, we've had some friends over, a couple stayed the weekend this weekend, and one stayed over because we are closer to her work and the roads were shit. One of Amanda's Aunt's came to stay the night too. We've also, finally, gotten all of her parents stuff moved over from Idaho. Of course the unpacking is slow going with me doing school again, with the recent string of bad pain days, and trying to get things settled. 

Speaking of unpacking and trying to get things settled, I have most of the kitchen unpacked and put away. But I'm running into wall a little bit because I have our things and Amanda's parent's things. I don't have room for both. We have to go through all of it, decide what Cathy wants to keep and pack it away for the garage, and I will probably get rid of the stuff that doesn't work for us any more.  And on that note, Amanda and I dug several book boxes out from the garage. She did most of the carrying in and unpacking. We put the manga in the living room on one side of the fire place and will be placing the pagan books on the other. Paperbacks and hardbacks of fiction and some non-fiction went up to our bedroom and reference, language, and writing books went to the office/guest room. we're going through them to see if there are some we want take to a thrift store or a book exchange place. We have some touch ups to do in the living and dining room as far as painting goes, but we haven't really found the time or energy for that, plus, anytime we get a minute, we're asses on sofa, taking time to relax. We will get to it. 

School is going well. The actual class time and the time it takes me to do homework aren't that long, what takes the most time are the 15 hours a week that I have to do at the help desk and giving tours of the school on Second Life. It's how I earn my full scholarship. I don't mind doing it, I actually enjoy it, and there are long periods where no one is around so I can do homework, all I have to do is keep an eye out for anyone coming on screen or "into the lobby". 

Apart from all that, I wanted to share some goals I've made for myself this year. I've got a lot I want to do and some will get done in time, some I can start on now. 

1.  Get the house settled

2. Start saving for the things we want to do and repairs to the house

3. Set up the office

4. Set up my Vanity area

5. Work on the front and back yards

6. Finish the living and dining room

7. Get my ass writing again

8. Get reading more

9. Craft time

10. Start a Vlog (I've been talking about doing this for awhile, time to just do it)

11. Have more alone time with Amanda.

Lastly, my depression is getting interesting. I've been having episodes of crying and I'm not sure why. Perhaps its the tension trying to release in a new way. Doing morning devotionals with the school is helping a little, but I've had more panic attacks in the last couple of months than usual, which I don't like. I am hoping things will even out or get back to my "normal" soon.  

Hospital, homework, and home

Happy Thorin

You'll have to forgive me, I don't have any photos of the house yet, it's not put together much less completely unpacked. We've been a bit tired and run down, everything is catching up to us and we've slowed down a good deal. Things are coming in from the garage to be unpacked pretty much one box at a time. It is what I can manage. But even that has been pretty slow because we haven't figured out where to put everything or don't have certain things set up just yet. It will happen when it happens. I'm hoping I'll get a little more pep in my step after a couple of days, but we will see. 

Homework is going well, so far. My text book just arrived so I have a bit of reading to do today and tomorrow. I need to do an assignment in grounding today and then write about my experience. The tech we use for school is interesting. We use Skype for business, Second Life, Moodle (which is just like Blackboard), and Office 365. I really didn't know if I was going to like Second Life, but its actually kind fun and a brilliant way for the school to bring all the students and teachers together- give us faces and voices to names. Well, we all have avatars and I am sure not all of us look like them- I certainly don't, but still. 

Anyway, aside from that I've asked a couple of friends who are going to the school as well, if we wanted to do a study group. At the moment, it's set for Friday mornings and I am excited to see how all of us approach our lessons. One of the ladies coming is a year ahead of the other girl and I but she's taking a World Religion class and I'm looking forward to seeing what she says about it. 

Okay, on to the hospital. I drove myself to a smaller emergency room in my local area yesterday while Amanda was at work. My right leg has been bothering me lately. At first I thought it was because of how I have been sitting, or maybe even that I aggravated my old shin splints, but when I rubbed my shin, I found a warm spot and under it what felt like a knot and that hurt to touch. I gave it a little time to see if it would go away but it didn't. Since one of my Grandma's died of a blood clot and I'm not taking blood pressure meds, I thought I better be safe than sorry, and get it checked out. My ultra sound looked great, no blood clots, and they checked both legs. As far as the lump in the leg, well the doctor isn't quite sure what it is, could be a nasty knot in the muscle or a cyst. He sent me home with instructions to ice it frequently and get in touch with my primary doctor to let her know what's going on.  

Other than that, we've explored our new area a little bit, discovered a store called Hobby Town USA that looks to have a ton of games inside, and went out last night for a friend's birthday. We met up at a place downtown called Sushi Sakai. The sushi was delicious! I had Inari, Miso soup, and a Avocado, beet, and daikon radish roll.  I keep forgetting how filling sushi is. After that, we walked down the street to the Piano Bar where they had a 'Dueling Pianos" event going on. Two guys were taking requests and playing pianos opposite each other. It was a lot of fun and once again I was reminded why the hell we don't go out to bars. Drinks were crazy expensive! Amanda and I had a shot, got one for a friend, and then we split a disappointingly small martini concoction. We spent 40 dollars. That's nuts! But we did have fun and I certainly hope our friend had a nice birthday. It was also the birthday of an older Asian lady. She reminded me a bit of my Mom when my Mom has had a bit to drink. Her birthday request was an Elton John song and she danced and played a cow bell. She was so adorable and fun! 

Well, I've put homework off long enough. I'm still playing catch up on everyone's blogs, but I am getting there. Oh, and Amanda got a cell phone ordered for me. It is on the way!    

 

August Break! Day one: Morning light!

This month, I will be participating in August Break by Susannah Conway. Above I've posted the prompts in case anyone is interested in doing this too, and by clicking the link, you'll be taken to her site for more information. The point is take one photo for everyday of the month but also to slow down and appreciate things and stuff around you, to live in the moment and so on. 

This month is a bit of a celebratory month for me as this is the last week of school for my Bachelor's degree. In a way, I feel this project is perfect for me because I finally get to just "be" for a little bit, I finally get to decompress and come to new projects with a fresh mindset and a little rejuvenation, but most of all excitement for the challenges ahead. Plus I am going to have a graduation party at some point- not sure when yet but there will be cake and it will be green with black flowers! 

Without further ado, I shall post today's first photo, Morning light.

I love morning light, there is something, a feeling that is cooler than afternoon and evening light. It's as if the world has a blue filter on and the light seems more pristine, pure, and new. I always get a sense of freshness when I look outside in the morning. One of my favorite past times is watching Narcisa sunbathe in the morning. She'll sit before the patio door and watch various bits of wildlife and bugs, the wind in the trees, take baths like she's doing here, and sleep. It's a happy, peaceful, and quiet time.  

What to do next and moments where I still feel like a kid

© Hannah Richardson- Yes, I sometimes do photo shoots with dolls.

The last term, the last eight weeks, of my undergrad college experience begins Monday. When that is up, I will graduate with my BA in English-Creative Writing with a focus in Fiction. I should be ecstatic and I suppose in a lot of ways I am excited, but... I can't help feeling that its really not a big deal. It's just a piece of paper that may or may not open up more job opportunities.  

I think I don't know what to think. On one hand, yes, I am excited to not have homework for awhile. I'm planning to take some time off from because I had some burnout, but also because (assuming I ever get the supposed referral to the specialist gyn) I am hoping to have a hysterectomy and will need time to recuperate and heal. I am excited to have some time to focus on craft projects as well as doing some writing- more than just the here and there bouts I've been subsisting on when I wasn't too afraid to write. Yes, I've had a lot of moments where I've been scared to write and it sucks ass like a Kappa. 

Or maybe I don't feel like it is a big deal because I am not walking or attending the school graduation. I don't know, I just don't see it as that big of a deal. Amanda says it is. She says it is a big milestone. Geeze, I don't know if this is depression and self abasement talking, which are things I struggle with all the time. Or if my worry over finding a grad school that will accept me and is a good fit is clouding all the "you should be dancing in the street" mentality everyone else has. 

On the topic of grad school, I've been looking at some options online. I want to go one that has a good program. However, I want one that is relatively close, meaning that I don't want to spend hours on a plane, flying across the country. Airports stress me out, I hate having to run because invariably my gates are too far apart. I don't particularly like flying and pretty much only do it when I am going home to visit family. 

There are a couple of programs on this side of the country that look kind of promising. I don't really want to do the ones that are at Christian colleges. There is a program up in Anchorage Alaska that could be interesting. Then there is the program at Eastern Washington, a college that is 30 mins away and if my car still isn't working, I could take a bus to. But to get into that program not only do you have to go through the usual, submit writing samples and long ass letter talking about how great you are and blah blah blah, and coming up with references, you have to take the GRE exam. I really suck at test taking. Test anxiety is a constant companion, I used to nearly have panic attacks filling out those stupid tests you take for employment applications. On top of that, I'm not great at math and it has been ages since I have had science classes. 

So, while I was upset, frustrated, and almost weepy, I called my Dad because I wanted his advice. Dad's reply to my mopey disheartened tale of the situation was: "Maybe you should stop worrying about going to school to prepare to write and actually sit down and write." I could hear my Mom in the back ground telling him "No, you're not helping."  She was right, he wasn't helping. I felt like a kid. But at the same time he was right. Except that Amanda talks about how she grew and changed as a writer from grad school, that it really helps, and that she doesn't think she could have ever been published prior to going.  Besides, if I do go to grad school, I could possibly get a job adjunct teaching. 

I've spent so much time trying to do what everyone else thought would be good for me, that I didn't do what I really wanted. So what do I want? 

I want to go to grad school. I want it to be either completely online or low residency and fairly close. As in not too far for travel. I want it to be a good program- as in I don't want to just settle because the program is close by. And I want to do it without feeling guilty or unworthy for a change. (my depression monster is a harsh beast) 

On a happier note, we have some flowers blooming and some tomatoes begging to form out in our garden. Half of our herbs didn't take off but the half that did, look really good.   

One more thing left, feeling better, fighter practice, and new sewing buddy!

SCA logo

Today is blissfully cloudy and windy- figures, Amanda is wearing a skirt. We have a running joke that anytime Amanda wears a skirt it will be windy outside. Moving on. 

I have one last assignment left to do: the reflection essay of my experience in my degree program and the class. It is part of my capstone. Bleh. I call it busy work and Narcisa is licking my hair! Anyway, I still don't have a page count and another student asked the same question. I'm wondering if there even really is a page count, it certainly isn't mentioned in the instructors break down of the assignment or in the rubric. Hmmm... I' just going to write it and if there is a problem I will fix it. 

Speaking of the writing class, I sent my story to my Dad to edit. He really liked it except he that him being a sappy romantic, he would have liked an ending scene where my characters were standing together on the balcony of the castle over looking the city below. I wanted that too, but page limit! And I still went over by a quarter of a page! I'm telling you, novel! Amanda also liked this rewrite. Yay!

I am going to try doing Camp National Novel Writer's Month again this year. I set my word count low just in case my next term is heavier than I expect it to be. 

So what's with the SCA logo shield? Well, tonight I am going to fighter practice. the Arts and Sciences stuff will be happening at the same time and same place as well, so I can look at that too. I haven't done anything with the SCA in years and I really miss it. It was fun. Bonus, I heard that there is archery in this barony where as in my previous barony, there wasn't at the time. I have no idea what my persona will be, I am hovering between Chinese, Japanese, and Viking. Oh that reminds me that I need to find my heraldry notebook! That was something I was interested in getting into before I started college. For more info on the SCA go here.

In talking about SCA, the stuff I missed, and garb with my friend Rachael last night, I learned that she knows how to make her own patterns, knows how to expand patterns, and so on. I told her she is my new sewing buddy. If she can give me a couple of walk through, I pick stuff up pretty quick. I kind of want to have a sewing party someday. Not sure if I am up to taking my sewing machine to a Stitch & Witch, might be too loud and a pain to lug around... It is something to think about. Or I could just stick with crochet. 

Almost finished, new anime, excited for break week

I'm going to start with the fun stuff first. My friend Birdy came over yesterday for a breakfast, tea, and Anime date. I made breakfast, we made our respective tea, and she showed me got me started on Sword Art Online. I'd heard good things about this anime, such as everyone I've talked to about seemed to like it a lot. As it turns out, I'm two or three episodes in and really like it too. The premise is a bunch of people who went out and bought a virtual reality system and the game Sword Art Online. Some of the people were beta testers and some are new but they all logged in for casual game play only to learn that they can't log out. I don't want to say too much more for fear of spoiling too much. It's kind of dark but it's really good. 

I am almost finished with this term of school, I'm in my finals week. Apparently in my wellness class, the recording tool of choice for my PowerPoint presentation isn't really of choice. I sued screencast o matic, I think that's what its called. Anyway, because it wasn't embedded in the presentation, it was wrong so I have to do it over again. Lovely. so I will be doing that later today and right after, recording the final presentation and turning both in. Then I get to research the apa format for writing an outline, because apparently I missed that it was supposed to be in apa format and so it was wrong too. Easy fixes, but damn they are time consuming. That's all for my wellness class.

For my Advanced Creative Writing class, I have a 680 point reflection essay due this week without a page limit or word count listed- which makes me nervous as hell. So I'm going to have to shoot my instructor a message. I also have to edit my final draft of my short story. I couldn't seem to write it last week but managed to get it done last night. I was ready to cry when I went to bed last night. I hate it. I haven't looked at it yet today, but I'm pretty sure I will still hate it. I don't like the removal of one of the characters. It was actually more draining to write this draft than any of the previous drafts. You know what, no matter how solid my instructor thinks the story is, I just hate it as a short story. I need it to be a novel. It's going to be a novel. It has to be a novel! 

I'm really excited for my break week to come. I have plans to sew, to cook and clean, to read and to write, and get out of the house for a little bit. Most of all, I have plans to relax. I don't know how much relaxing will get done, but I am hopeful for at least a little. 

A hard day, bad news-good news, and some apps (are they really necessary?)

One of my favorite artists, Nene Thomas

So my day was rough. It started out well. I took a shower without having a small freak out from the enclosed space and humidity and bonus I was able to do it while Amanda was at work. I've had some problems with my shower pretty much since we moved in but as long as I open the closet door between the bathroom and our bedroom and point my fan in and have the bathroom fan going, I have less issues. I've also managed to figure out a way to keep the shower curtain off me so I don't feel so boxed in. 

Continuing on from there, I went to a friend's new little Cottage to see all the progress they have made since moving in, have tea, and just visit. I was there for a couple of hours. And after I left there is where things kind of turned to shit. I went to one of our local grocery stores to get a money order but they only take cash. So I went to another store only to have my card declined which made no sense to me. Frustrated I tried to log into my account to figure out why, and because I had to pee, needed to eat something, and was starting to panic, I couldn't remember my login info. So I left the store and went to the car and tried to calm down. But then I tried to drive thinking I was okay. Lunch rush hour traffic was a mess, the sun was bright and burning my arm, and I got every red light. So the panic attack flared up again. But it was manageable enough that I was able to calm down long enough to pull in somewhere, sit for a few minutes, and then go get food. From there I just came home. 

I called my Dad after I ate. My Mom's jumping has been so bad that she dislocated her shoulder and had to pop it back in place by herself because my Dad wasn't home. Then she figured out that the new medication she was put on that had been working really well, hadn't been in her medicine box. So they are fixing that issue. My Dad on the other hand is not doing well. His depression is worse, meds suck, he thinks the staff infection on his ankle might be coming back, and the job prospect he had looks like it's not going to work out. I just want to parent-nap them! 

My doctor's office is making me drive into CDA to pick up my medical records instead of mailing them out to me like they did Amanda's. Apparently she didn't have a fee for her but I do, so I have to take at least an hour out of my day to go deal with that crap. The good news is, I was looking for a more holistic doctor's office and I found one that takes my insurance. I just have to call the see if they are taking new patients with my insurance, do a consultation and go from there. I really really hope that they take me. I really want to check this place out, especially after spending at least an hour reading over everything on the website. 

I had another panic attack this evening on the way home to Stitch & Witch. I think I got a little overwhelmed from the noise and how many people were crammed into the conference room at the coffee shop we went met at. I think everything from the day and being overwhelmed and then brooding a little bit kicked the panic attack off. I had to pull over. Which didn't make me happy because I thought I was doing better. I really truly hate this crap. But the good news here is at least I didn't have to take a xanax. 

Okay so good stuff. I had to look at some "wellness" apps for my wellness class. I found a chakra meditation app on google play. I found a water reminder app where you can set an alarm to remind you that you need to drink some water and it also keeps track of your intake. I found a mood tracker where I can list the activities I've done for the day and make notes. I don't know that I really need all these fancy apps. I don't like being so tied to my phone, computer, or even my kindle. I like to take breaks from electronics. However, I thought I would try these apps out for awhile and I remember to use them, I might keep them, if not, I will get rid of them. 

Well, I need to get back to doing homework. I have two final project drafts to write up this week. One is a power point presentation and the other is 20 more pages of a story. I can do both, I am just tired and kind of want to go to bed. 

Pickles, Sprite, Talking to Dad, People's Park, and the New Term.

I can't remember who did this illustration, I am sure it came from deviant art... or not, I don't know. I just need something pretty and happy after the weird-ass day I've had. Yes, it's 2:30 am. Yes, I should be in bed. No, I can't sleep. Yes, I wish I could because my damn eyes are bothering me- it is time for new glasses. But since I can't and don't just want to sit and veg out in front of the TV (although the Poldark reboot marathon I had recently was really nice), I am trying to do something constructive. Yes, it should probably be homework, but I'll get to that in a few. For now, I am sipping a can of Sprite and eating a pickle, because why not?

Today was nuts! I do mean nuts! Amanda had a meeting at work (on her day off of course) and then later she was supposed to donate blood. Why she didn't, I'll get into later. Anyway, the plan was to take her to work, then find some place down town to have lunch and maybe go ride the Looff Carousel since we still have tokens. So I got up, took her to work, and to keep from paying for parking while I sat in the car, I drive over to People's park just passed Brown's Addition. I've gone there before to sit while waiting for Amanda, so no big deal right? Uh, no. Today wacky, scary, and crazy were out. 

First, I pull in and get comfortable, crack the window, and happily watched the birds and the river pass. Shortly this car pulls up near my car and as always, I happen to look over to see this mostly attractive guy smiling at me. Like really smiling... and starting. So I smile back and pick up the book I brought to read and I can feel this guys eyes still on me. Sure enough, when I look over he's just sitting there watching me. So I decided that I would put the book down and call my Dad. As soon as my Dad answers, the guy gets out of his car. So I lock my doors just to be safe, knowing that Amanda will have to get me out because her stupid door is still broken. I asked my Dad if he had time to be on the phone with while a weird person stares at me. He said he did, so we start up on of many conversations. The weird guy actually walks in front of my car, looking in like he's looking for something or waiting for me to get out and when I don't he walks up this path a little bit, stops, stands there, looks back at me, and then goes back to his car and leave. I have no idea what he was there for or what he thought I was there for, but that's just strange.

So my Dad and I are still talking about 45 mins later, about the new Star Wars movie that I still haven't seen and his thoughts on it when another strange person appears. I'm not really a person who judges other people based on what they look like. I generally try give people two interactions before deciding whether or not I want to get to know them more or not, and I'm certainly not one of those "Oh he/she is black/Hispanic/whatever so they are up to something or no good" kind of people. You simply can't judge people by looks or color or race. However, this new guy really just put me off. He was middle eastern looking, no big deal, dressed really nice, looked to be mid 20s. He was carrying what looked to be a wadded up jacket. So despite my instincts saying, "um, he seems kind of odd", I pretty much just focused on the conversation I was having with my Dad. Except I see this guy walk to the bridge, get on it, stop in the middle and stand there. I wouldn't have thought anything of it because I had thought of getting out to do the same earlier, until the guy dropped the wadded up jacket into the river. That got my attention. I watched him walk back to his car, and drive away and told my Dad. It didn't look like he had anything big enough to be say a baby or even kittens or puppies, so I am hoping it was just drugs or something like that. Needless to say I was kind of freaked and really stayed in my car. Thankfully, though, Amanda called shortly after and I had to hang up with Dad and go get her.

Really quick, I mentioned Grad school to my Dad and I told him that I knew he and Mom wouldn't approve, but I am still seriously considering it. He said he didn't care if I went to grad school, but he thinks I should take some time off between graduation and going on to Grad school to just write and really set up a routine. He said it was because I am enough like him that I can think of 97 million reasons why I need to be doing something else. It's true.

Also, my very OCD mother is driving him bonkers. He was telling me about what's going on at home and he said he wasn't trying to dump on me, he was just trying to explain what's going on and see if I had any ideas of how to handle my Mom. LOL. My poor Dad. One my Mom is very OCD, two she suffers from chronic pain and has for as long as I can remember in one form or another, and three, she's stubborn as hell. So she's miserable, her knees are have gotten bad, and she wants to exercise to get the weight off because she's gained some because her thyroid is apparently off and so on and can't do too much because of some other issues. So she gets a sharp pain and jumps which aggrivates something else and she fusses. But that's not an issue, the issue is she's in the house all day, every day. My parents are broke most of the time so they can't go to the movies like she likes, and she doesn't really like going to the park because she's a hermit and so on so she's sitting at home and everything that's wrong is cycling in her head and she's a little bored so she's pestering my Dad about this or that and generally bitchy because of the pain. I know what my Dad's frustrated with because I had to deal with it for several years before I moved away from home. It's obnoxious, it draining sometimes, and sometimes you just want to tell her to shut up and go away but you can't because her feelings get hurt. Sigh. My Mom needs a friend. Or they need to move up here because I will drag her ass out of the house whether or not she feels up to it. I'd do the same to my Dad too. Basically she needs something else to obsess over, something positive. 

Okay so the rest of the day.

Amanda and I went to Tandy Leather to check out the store and see if we'd run into a friend who works there. Our friend wasn't there but we got some really good information on a project we are thinking about taking on.
We went to Long John Silver's for lunch because very rarely eat there and was having a horrible craving for their chicken and hush puppies (a deep fried cornmeal type of thing). Amanda's only eaten there once and didn't remember it but when she tried some of my chicken she was really loving it and I told her that was why I pretty much only go there once a year. I think everything on the menu is deep fried yummy goodness. However, there is another reason why I on'y go there about once a year and that is because it gives my stomach issues at night when I want to be sleeping. I just can't do a lot of grease any more. 

After we ate, we ran over to Lane Bryant so Amanda could use her members reward. She fond a dress on clearance, yay! It looks awful on the hanger, like old granny lady looking but on her it looks super cute! She decided after that, that she didn't want to donate blood at work, she just didn't feel up to it, so we went on to Post Falls where we would visit her parents and my friend Felicia and the kids. Only to find out when we arrived and the landlord was changing her parent's lock, that her mother's purse had been stolen at Good Will in Coeur d'Alene earlier that day. On top of that the employees were less than helpful in helping her look for and were apparently kind of rude. Amanda's Mom said whoever did it, had to do it quick and had to have been watching her, because she set her purse down in her cart, turned around to look at something and when she turned back her purse was gone. It really sucked. She was out doing a little shopping and paying bills and there went 200 in cash, her cell phone, some cards. It's bad. Amanda's Mom basically came home, ate some dinner, and went to bed. I can't blame her.

On a good note, I had a really nice visit with Felicia. I miss her so much. We only had a short visit, and the boys and the dog were all over me, but it was still nice. Well the boys were interested in me until Felicia sent them to play in their room so we could actually talk but that didn't last too long because they started bickering and fighting.

Lastly the new term. Its only week one, but I think I like it. The Wellness class is meh and so far, from what I have done of this week's homework going to annoy me with the whole "smoking is bad and being fat is bad" yeah yeah yeah, blow it out your ass. No, I'm not smoking, but I really really want to. My neighbors congregate in the stairwell and it comes in my house via the draft at the front door. So that certainly doesn't help. Anyway, that aside, the other class, the Advanced Creative Writing class, looks really obnoxiously challenging in a good way.  Obnoxious in that I can already see myself growing over the more difficult aspects of the class, like grammar and spelling, challenging in that I get to write more than 10 pages this time, and also, challenging in that I now have to sit down and try to figure out what the hell I want to write about. I'm thinking paranormal or Scifi/fantasy, definitely romance, and I don't know what else. Its going to be word vomit to start that's for sure, but in the end it will be a publishable piece, which is amazing!

Jerks, Rurouni Kenshin, crochet, end of term, cosplay.

It's the end of another term. I am relieved. For as much as my instructor in my Lit class is a jerk to me, I have a feeling I am not the only one he's been that way to. Our last discussion board post was a reflection post, or as I like to call them "busy work" posts. It's supposed to be a summation of what you learned throughout the term. This one was a little more involved and a little more annoying. I did my post and was honest, expressing that I don't particularly like Lit classes because I don't like tearing novels and pieces apart. I don't like making assumptions about what I think the author may or may not have meant in their work. Point of fact a lot of people insist and argue that J.R.R Tolkien's Lord of the Rings is a reflection of his time in WW2, never mind that he stated it was not. When people won't even listen to the author- who created the work they are tearing to shreds- then their option becomes invalid to me. But that aside, I did talk about how I do see some value in literary analysis, just not to the point that a person begins to hate what they previously enjoyed. 

That said, my instructor left a long snide comment about how many creative writing and English majors often say they hate literary classes and then proceeded to thinly veil an insult that basically said we are all basically idiots because we are missing the point. We should also value tearing apart other writer's work. I just rolled my eyes, because I never said literary classes didn't have merit or value, I simply stated that I didn't enjoy them. Which means he didn't pay attention at all. The fact that he insulted all the creative writing students he's had that stated their displeasure in taking such classes is also kind of juvenile. But the best thing happened. Two other creative writing majors piped in with the same sentiments in support of me. That was a pleasant surprise. Of course, my instructor is waiting until the last minute to grade my paper and the back work I turned in from when I was sick. 

On to happier things.. per se. I talked to my Dad the other day about what was going on. I suppose things are a little better. My Mom was worried that she'd upset me. Well, yeah. Of course. Its not her fault though. Mom is allowed to vent to me too, I was just taken so off guard because it was less venting more like an emotional explosion.

Okay really happier stuff.

Look what Netflix put on. Apparently it's been on for a couple of months and I didn't know it. Well I do now and I am trying to pick up where I left off several years ago. Back when Toonami was on cartoon network during the afternoon, Kenshin was on for awhile, but they removed it before I could finish it. Of course, I was also working at a grocery store at the time and often had to work when it came on. Anyway, I am enjoying it and double up on the time I spend watching it with crochet. I have to get my cousin's afghan done before her birthday.

The twins, Amanda, and I are going to Kuro Neko Con this year. I really want to cosplay again and Amanda does too. She wants to go as Princess Sofia. I've just begun my hunt for who I want to go as. I want something that I can make kind of light since it will be July, but I want something long enough to cover up my leggings if I wear a dress. I would love to be Noelle from Trinity Blood, but garters and slits up both sides of the costume just doesn't work for me, not because I am fat or modest, but because I am not interested in possible chaffing. So if I go as anyone from Trinity Blood it will Ester. The costume is easy enough that I can put it together pretty much on my own and anything else I need help with I can ask a cosplay friend or watch Youtube vids. Don't know if I will stick with this one or not, but it is an option.   

Still sick, Sofia the 1st, some things I need to vent about.

Fun stuff first. I saw Sofia the First at my friend's house while baby sitting her son. That was awhile ago, but I recently found it on Netflix and decided that Amanda and I needed to watch it while we wait for the next season of My Little Pony. LOL, Amanda and I really love it and tonight we watched the wassiling episode- or rather their equivalent of Christmas. By the end, and it was a really good ending, we were both doing that ugly cry thing. It was great. But also while watching this show, I've been thinking about some things, things which I will get it in a few moments. 

Okay, more serious stuff. I'm still sick. We're going on about 2 and half weeks now. I started to feel better but for some reason couldn't quite shake it and it came back in full force. So I've been pretty miserable. Miserable in the sense that sometimes I don't realize that I have a fever and take some medicine fall asleep, and wake up drenched in sweat kind of miserable. But I have some antibiotics, am still drinking tea, and have some cough medicine to help. 

Being sick has made trying to do homework problematic. I am for the most part caught up (except for the last papers I need to write for this term) but I gave up on having A's in the classes. Fuck it. I just want to pass the classes and get on to the next term. I am so close to graduating and with everything that has happened over the last several months, I'm just burnt out and tired. Amanda is right, I do need to take time off instead of trying to go right into grad school. I need a break. But I don't want to be doing IEPG stuff, trying to plan a wedding (oh yeah, Amanda and I finally set a date), and doing grad school all at the same time. I'm sure I can do it. Or at least I think I can do it all, but while my brain says "Of course you can" my body and energy level says "Now just a moment sugar, you're gettin ahead of yourself here." Because I imagine all my inner voices to have some form of attitude and possible accents. 

One of my blogger friends was talking about fear and being too afraid to do things. She also talked about anxiety and worrying about everything. I get that. I lived in a sort of paranoid, completely pointless fear for over a year. I was scared to leave my house, scared to be seen enjoying my life even the least little bit. Shit I was scared to be seen walking and carrying in a sack of groceries, all because I had applied for disability and my stupid crazy aunt told me the gov. watches people who apply. I was scared that they would see me on a good day and I would get denied for have a few good days. Thankfully, I decided I didn't want to live like that anymore. 

But while, I got passed those fears, I am scared for all new reasons. Some of them are family related and completely normal, like a kid worrying for their parents. Some things I am scared of are completely irrational, like calling people I don't know. Granted that is left over from call center work and some hiring manager at Borders ripping me a new one right before I had a nervous breakdown. to this day, I don't like talking on the phone unless it is with someone I know and even then I tend to keep it short. Most of the time phone conversations with my Mom are about 20 minutes. The only people I talk to longer than that with are my Grandparents. 

Bringing back the things that I have been thinking about because of Sofia the First, I've been thinking about my current friendships. Most people who know me pretty well have either figured out or have been told that I am very much an introvert. I need time to recoup and recharge after a lot of things. No, it didn't used to be this bad but some health issues, soon to be dealt with, don't make it easy. I'm not expecting that to be a cure all either. But since getting involved with the IEPG a couple of years ago, I've come out of my shell little by little and made some friends on my own. I actually have more friends now than I ever did while in school. That brings forth a whole new slew of problems and social complexities that I don't think I was entirely prepared for.

My parents are pretty much hermits and in a lot of ways I am like them, especially when I get totally engrossed in writing- another scare factor I will get into in a bit. So when I call up my Mom and fuss about this situation or that situation or how I can't seem to understand why there is a seemingly unintentional lack of respect in some areas of friendship, my Mom says that I need to get a new set of friends, I kind of stop an wonder what for. Then I watch things like My little Pony and Sofia the First and realize that either I've got some really selfish and fragile friends or I just need to stop trying to stand up for myself and quit trying to put up boundaries. 

I understand that everyone has had trouble and trails in their lives and that people have had truly horrible things happen to them. I understand that some people will never get over these things and I would never expect or ask them to. It;s not right and its not fair. However, is it really fair to freak out on someone for trying to address something that upset them and they set up a boundary? I'm not even talking big issues, just something small? I've had a couple of friends do that to me and not just once but time and time again. It;s to the point that anytime I have an issue, I am afraid to address with them because I am worried they are going to freak out on me and either make me feel like shit for having an issue or feel like shit that they got so upset. So, instead, I've said nothing and things keep cycling over and over in my head and one of these days I will explode and it won't be pretty. And in the meantime I just get more and more bitter as time goes by. its not really in me to hate anyone, but it is in me to be furious that I can't even talk to someone about something small, talk to them like an adult, resolve it and move on. 

And more to the point, I can't even talk to these friends about how they have treated Amanda in some situations. Another friend of mine once made mention that I don't have much a back bone. In some cases, yes, that is true, I have a hard time standing up for myself, being assertive, and a lot of people take advantage of that. But when people start talking shit, belittle, and try to police Amanda and in her own home no less, that tiny back bone of mine gets really big and its all I can do to bite my tongue and keep from causing a scene. 

   

I would just treat this all as some learning experience from which I can grow from, and in a lot of ways it is. Except I don't like the person I am when I am constantly angry. I don't like how snappish I get, how down right bitchy, and given more toward gossip and venting to Amanda about it. She's got enough on her plate, she doesn't need to hear all of my issues. She should be focusing on finish her novel because her mentor from Grad school want to send it to her personal editor to try and get it published!!!

Now I will discuss why I am scared to write, or at least why I think I am afraid to. There are a lot of reasons. First it was that I could never get quite. Well, we have our own place and will be setting up the "Bowie room"/ office/ Library in its entirety over the next couple of days. So I will have a quiet space to work and room in which to spread out and set up story boards and whatnot. Sometimes I am scared to write because when I feel the urge, I am frustrated and feel guilty because I should be doing school work. I tried setting up a schedule but Amanda thinks with my health and how tired I am all the time, that I need to remove some of what I want to get done in a day from that and just take it a little bit at a time. Okay. I can do that, so these are things that I can easily work out and have to some degree. But the bulk of it is that I am actually scared to it down and write. I'm worried about my characters and if they are all the same, if I've given them enough flaws and if they can have room for growth. I am scared that I peaked when writing fanfiction. I am scared that I will only be a mediocre writer and that no one will take me seriously. Hell, most of my friends don't and that makes me less and less willing to share anything I've written, especially when some of them hate some of the things I write about. And I am most especially scared of writing because if I can't get my friends and even my own family to read my writing without begging, how the hell am I going to get an editor or an agent to look at it and then  publish it? 

I don't know how many times I have sat and cried over even the last bit of that. I've wondered if I should just give up on school. If I should forget about going to Grad school for writing. If I should just erase all my stories and burn all the printed hard copies, the disks, the flash drives, and wipe and rewrite the hard drives of my laptops where everything is saved. Amanda says no. Amanda and my parents think I have talent. Amanda thinks I hit a big milestone when writing fantiction and that I am going to hit more. That there is room for more development and growth. Do, I want to give up writing? I don't really know who I am without it. But at the same time, being scared to sit down and write, leaves me feeling a bit lost. And while feeling that way, and having all these new challenges with people I want to stay friends with and know I can build stronger relationships with, on top of finishing school, and everything else, is kind of exhausting. I always try too look at things from the perspective of "anything I learn, can be useful for personal growth but also in terms of writing". And also, the get up and keep moving. But sometimes, sometimes, a girl gets tired and needs to sit down, rest, recharge, and regroup. 

On a slightly more upbeat and kind of funny note. I won a cruise today. I have dyslexia and it took me 5-6 times to call my health insurance case manager back today. I called some out of service number that google was still doing quality assurance for and also Royal Caribbean cruise lines and won a cruise for two with nominal fees of course. I finally got the number right and got to talk to the health insurance guy. 

The next post will be happier, I swear, because I said fuck it last Friday and got some crafting done.   

    

Stress, depression, and anger sitting in the dark

I found this on my facebook feed. I think I need to print it, frame it, and hang it on my wall. I have been too stressed lately. I have also been depressed- but then again I always am and accept that, but worse, I have been angry.  I get angry that I am angry because the things I am angry about are so pointless or completely helpless- as in it doesn't matter what I do about it, it will end badly so why even try to fix it. Then that supposed to be wonderful phrase of "setting your boundaries" echos in my head and grrrrr, I just don't even want to get into it. Then I get depressed because I am so sad that I allowed myself to get angry or upset in the first place or even that I got stressed out and boy am I stressed out. I know that we humans live with at least a marginal amount of stress, that's life, but I swear if it isn't one thing its another. And it all cycles.

Amanda's driver's side car door is broken again. The tires still need to be replaced. The heat in my jeep is still broken, but hey, we managed to get new windshield wipers! Woo Hoo! 

Both cars have gas and are running, so that is something to celebrate. 

I am frustrated with several of my friends and no, I don't want to talk or even vent about it.

I've decided after years of saying that I was going to do it, that I am going to make a sign to hang outside my front door that pretty much says "don't talk about politics, religion, social issues or trigger warnings in this house unless invited to do so. This is the neutral zone and if you are too delicate or fragile for that, get lost". Or something to that effect. I am tired of it. I am tired of people thinking they need to police other people or that people shouldn't have this or that. This is my house and I refuse to be lectured, told what's right and wrong, or "reeducated" within it. I know it's all passive aggressive, but damn it, I fucking hate confrontation. A sign, you don't need to say a thing. Of course that is part of my problem, I am too polite and too nice to call people out on their bullshit or tell them when they are being offensive. 

The good news is that I have enrolled in health care. I am waiting on my cards to arrive in the mail so I can start looking for doctors and setting up appointments. I'm going to have to find a therapist and break them in. 

I need some time to myself. I do get some but I would like time where I don't have to worry about homework. Speaking of, I'm going to fail formal logic. I haven't failed a class in a long time and I just don't care. I can't find a tutor at the school- at least one isn't listed for that class. I e-mailed my adviser and that's really my last shot. Otherwise, fuck it. It really isn't the end of the world, but it certainly doesn't feel good. 

Another thing that doesn't feel good is the fact that I an feel myself inching closer to a breakdown. I don't want that. 

Back to needing some time to myself. I need a couple of days to just read, meditate, and relax without someone asking me for something or wanting to come over to my house. I was told that there is a lot of good energy in my house and I'd like to keep it that way. So, I may devote this weekend- after I get done with IEPG stuff, to homework, working ahead, to buy myself a couple of days of rest. It's so weird but I feel drained by people who aren't even here.

Oh well. I am going to make a yummy dinner and fresh pot of coffee for Amanda. We are going to a World Religion Celebration or some such with PFLAG tonight. Apparently they asked someone from our IEPG group to speak and since Amanda and I are the resident lesbian couple in the IEPG, that someone thought we should attend and answer any questions. I also need to make myself look presentable. I might feel better with pretty hair and make up.

A Quick Announcement!!!

In these past weeks I haven't really been in the internet. I haven't really been on the computer either- more like avoiding it because I was frankly too tired. Well, I'm here to say that's not going to get in better for the next few weeks because we finally got a move-in date for our apartment!!!

December 1st at 10 am, we do the walk through and paper signing. From there we'll be picking up a Uhaul and spending the day moving our stuff. We won't have internet for a couple of weeks, which sucks because my next term starts up on November 30th, but I have a couple of places I can go to do homework. Of course, I am going to try to get my teachers to open the modules early for me, so I can get a good deal of the homework finished before life becomes chaos. Especially since we are having Amanda's family Christmas party this weekend. Because everything has to happen all at once, during the same week.

Anyway, just wanted to let everyone know what's going on. As soon as we get moved in, unpacked, and situated, I will take some pictures.  

Things are finally happening!!!

Today, this is me!

This morning I took Amanda to her job interview, which she said she felt really good about. Afterward, we stopped by McDonald's so I could go to the bathroom and so we could get something cheap to eat. Then we went to Cathrine's so I could get two pairs of jeans (on a credit card of course) and then went to Lane Bryant to use her birthday cash to get her a skirt, shirt, and a duster- which we will share. From there I took her to work and came home to start my homework. Not but a few hours later, she called her parents to tell them that she got the job! She'd actually been called half and hour to two hours after the interview and they want her to start on the 9th of October! I am so freaking excited for her! Excited for us both too! We will finally be able to finish paying stuff off and get a place of our own! It will take a couple of months to get things squared away, but FINALLY! Things are looking up and moving along. I feel like the limbo we've been stuck in for the last couple of years is almost over. 

Aside from all of that, I'm feeling a little better in some respects. I don't know if it's just the change in season and the seemingly lightening of my depression and anxiety or what, but I will take it. I actually want to do things that I've had the want to do but lacked the drive and energy. Even yesterday, even though it was a bad day period and pain wise, I wanted to do stuff. I ended up pushing most of my homework off because I was in a lot of pain but the drive was still there. 

I did get some sad news from my parents. I think I mentioned it before, that my Dad's job is kind of iffy again and that my Mom has cataracts. I am hoping that my Dad's job issue can work itself out for the better. For my Mom, I don't know what to do. Kansas opted out of health care and my Dad's work insurance doesn't seem to really cover much as far as eye health goes. My Mom needs new glasses and surgery. The glasses might be doable if they can get enough saved up for them and she will need transition lenses because she's not supposed to go outside without sunglasses of some kind. The surgery is a bigger issue though. I am really worried because my Mom is already going deaf and has been for many years. I don't want her to go blind as well. She is going to try for disability, finally. She probably should have been on it a long time ago. 

At some point, after the stuff from Torrid comes in, I will probably do a post showing some of the cute clothing we've got for this fall and winter. 

Lastly, I finished all of my poetry class homework today and will start my Shakespeare homework tonight. I am loving this term of school, I thought it would be a heavy term, filled with huge assignments and lots of stress, but so far it's been wonderful. I'm managing to get everything done early, which is great! I love having some time to actually read a novel for a change.  

Migraine, free time, looking ahead

I wanted to start off on a positive note. Autumn is beginning to announce her appearance in my part of the world. The weather has been cooler- I actually got cold sitting outside last night, even had to wear a sweater. A few leaves, just a few, have already begun changing color. I, for one, am excited! I love Autumn! Of course not long after the change in season comes my favorite holiday, Halloween! Those things alone are more than enough to look forward to and everything else is just a bonus. Well, and my 8 year anniversary with Amanda. 

Moving on. Today I woke up with a migraine and it grew progressively worse throughout the morning. I finally had to take some advil and lay down in front of the fan. After a nap, I felt better but we have another round of company arriving today. I have plans to hide in my room and get some of the things I never seem to get done while school is going on, done. 

Yes, that's right. I have some free time coming my way and I plan to fill it with things I  want and need to do or get done. I plan to relax, to be sure and have fun too. Of course anything seems fun after that nightmare of a photography class I had. Excuse me, correction, the teacher was the nightmare- not so much the class.

The class is over and I am waiting to see what my final grade will be. I learned from another classmate that it's not just her or me that were having trouble from the instructor. Apparently, it appears that anyone not familiar and proficient with Photoshop had issues with her and everyone else was fine. She detailed how she was having a problem with an assignment and had to call the help desk and the help desk ended up contacting our instructor's supervisor. My classmate told me that after that, her grade plummeted. Which is utter bull shit. I included that in course eval of the instructor today along with my grievances and I have a record of everything for myself just in case. 

Anyway, that's over. I am looking forward to the next term. I am looking forward to getting some writing done too. I need to write a witch story for a magazine, edit, polish, and submit it. I have a lot of work still to do for my novels but I am going to focus on just one at the moment. Oh and Amanda, trying to help me out and get my back into writing, not just for school, suggested we do a written role place. I could start it, choose the setting, and so on. So I came up with an Elf, because I haven't really written elves in a long time. He is a magic user and that's all I am going to say for now because if I say any more it might spoil it for Amanda. We are only four posts in. I will leave you with what he looks like. Yes, I am designing his appearance off an art piece. 

Photography Instructor

Normally, I am much more patient when it comes to my instructors. I know that the probability of them having more than one class and since each class often times has 27 students , I try to give them time to grade my assignments and get back to me via e-mail if I have questions. But today, I have had it with my photography instructor. In fact, I am so pissed at her that I can't even work on any homework for her class. This is quite possibly worse than the Astronomy teacher who dumped me from his class after I missed three weeks because of a stomach infection despite me having all the homework and the final project finished and ready to turn in before the final test, and knew it because I got told him as much, several years ago.

I fell a week behind in class after a week and a half where I could barely stay away, much less move, or go out to take photos. This was because I was having a particularly bad period (PCOS strikes again) and my fibromyalgia flared up as well. I emailed her and let her know what was going on and she said everything was fine, get things in as soon as I could. So I did that. 

In the last couple of weeks, due to the raging fires in my part of the country- which she knows about too- I have had trouble getting out to take photos and got a little behind again. I'm sorry, no photography assignment is worth me risking my health or that of my 'model' via smoke and dust inhalation. I also had my model's work schedule to contend with and have a day where I wasn't in a too much pain to go out and get the shots I needed. I have been working to make those assignments up as well and had managed to get caught up. 

Well... *insert rage fit* This woman leaves comments in the grading section where in she tells me that the instructions from the beginning were that I needed to submit my files in PDF form not JPEG. Which is really fucking hysterical because I e-mailed her about this very thing since all my other classmates were submitting things in JEPG form. Her response to that e-mail was that she was confused about my confusion and didn't bother to try and clarify. On top of that, I have been submitting all my short answer quizzes in .odt files, which for those of you who don't know, is open office. So she gave me an BIG FAT ZERO and said that I needed to resubmit it the quiz because she can't read the file. *SCREAMS* Are you fucking kidding me?!!!! She also gave me 2 points out of 27 on my critiques for my other classmates stating that all I did was tell them that their photos were great. Bullshit! Yes, I told them that their photos were great, because they really truly are but I also discussed composition and use of deep and shallow depth of field. I mean really? Do I need to screen shot every single post and e-mail?!

My neighbor wants to do just that and send it all to the Dean of my college with a letter of complaint. I probably should, but why do all of that and waste more of my time, when I can just wait for the instructor eval form to come up and make my complaints there. I figure by the time I go in and "fix" everything and finish out this last week, I will at least pass the class. Then I can call adobe and cancel my 30 subscription because that was a bit of a nightmare (they charged me twice for one month) and be done with it all. 

I just need a fucking break. I need a week to decompress and do some things that I have been putting off. I need to breathe. I need to start writing again damn it!

No no no no no...er yes. Brain farts, smokes, late nights outside, and a book series...

We've been watching The Vicar of Dibley, starring Dawn French, for the past week or so. Its really funny and I just plain love it. My favorite of the male characters is Jim Trott because he says "no no no no no no..." and then gets on with whatever he's saying. 

I finished last term of school with a B grade in both of my classes. YAY! But while I was finishing them up, I was helping my next door neighbor with her homework. We are still helping her out with stuff here and there while she tries to finish up her school's term. Honestly, after being sick, having two rambunctious little boys- neither of which listen very well- and having homework that's so stupidly worded and doesn't really make much sense, I am surprised she got as far as she did. It takes all three of us to break it all down and try to figure out what is being asked or said.

Since we started hanging out and doing homework together at night, we've become friends. The down side is that I started smoking again but that's going to stop pretty quick. The upside is that I managed to get my neighbor sucked into a book series that I got sucked into. While I read the 5 book series in a week and a half (I pretty much told Amanda to go away and leave me alone- yes the series was that intense), she's almost finished with it as well. That series is called the Fever Series by Karen Marie Moning. There are two other books that follow the 1st 5 books with another character, a graphic novel, and I guess one more book. The author, Karen Marie Moning, has announced that she will be returning to the core story of the series soon. I am excited! Needless to say, I've been back and forth between my house and the neighbors. We've been smoking, laughing, farting, and fan-girl-ing over books. It's been really nice. There may or may not have been some unladylike spitting and burping involved too. 

Because I read 5 books in a week and a half, of my choosing, I have been inspired to not only push on and read more books of my choosing instead of just my text books, but also to start writing again. I spent 3 hours yesterday imputing notes and character descriptions and bios into YWriter, a free software for writers. I am glad that I got that part finished, finally. I still have a lot more to do, but I took a break today to read a book on writing young adult novels, and also to read and started working on the class I want to teach for the IEPG. 

This morning I started season 2 of the Vikings. I have had it for quite some time and just never got around to watching it. Since I was feeling kind of down, I stuck it in the DVD player. It was nice to actually watch something I wanted to watch and not hear anyone whine or bitch about it. I am going to finish season 2. Then somehow, even if I lose some sleep because of it, I am going to make a dent in the things that I have been wanting to watch. 

There's been a lot of other stuff going on, but I am a bit too tired to really go into it. I just remembered that I hadn't blogged in a little while, so I thought I would throw one out there. I still haven't finished editing the photos from our Seattle trip... damn, I really just kind of checked out from things the last month or so. Meh, I'll get to it all.