Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power, working, sushi, power outtage, I'm so tired.

I can't get over how beautiful this piece is. Apparently it used to be on sale on Displate but is no longer but the artists name is Jesperish. I will be looking for them more thoroughly later. For now, enjoy!

I've done a thing. I am not usually a person who eats seafood. I'm allergic to shell fish and don't really like the taste and texture of most fish. I do like tuna and salmon though. But I got adventurous- it really was for the sauce and a bit of mild curiosity- and tried a caterpillar roll which has unagi (eel) in it. It was okay. I almost cried at one point, but it was good. I really do love the sauce. Apart from that, I pretty much will eat veggie and fruit sushi and sushi with cooked salmon or tuna in it. 

Saturday was the day of sushi exploration. Kat and Selene talked me into taking a break from work to go to the MAC (museum of arts and culture) which I will make a later post about. I have lots of pictures! Saturday was also the day that we came home and lost power, in fact, several sections of the city lost power thanks to the heat, dust, and a little rain- or so the power company said. And the power didn't come back on until 11:30 pm. Selene and I had already gone to bed, which was fine. What wasn't fine was the fact that some idiots decided to break in and vandalize the red house across the street from us. We couldn't see them and with the way things echo on our street, we couldn't really tell where the noise was coming from. It was kind of scary. Our neighbor's kid told us the next morning that they had come home and seen the perps in the act and called crime check and the police said they would come out only they didn't. So that's fun! 

I've been working pretty much all day, every day, for the last week or so, sometimes working 9-12 hours days with some breaks scattered throughout. I can't just sit all day, my body won't allow it. And it has been very exhausting.  I am so tired and don't feel like I am getting much accomplished. 

On to the more important bit. I have watched the first 2 episodes of the Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power. I don't hate it and if I pretend that its something else (as in not Lord of the Rings) I am excited for it. It doesn't have the same feel or tone. Close but not quite. That may change the further the series progresses. Still, I am enjoying it and do want to see more.

Because ELVES DAMNIT! 

And I really like seeing the Elven Cityscapes. And I do want to see more of young Elrond. The social structure of the elves seems... odd? There was something that threw me a little and I need to go back and re-watch it to see if I missed something or if it really is odd. As a side note, Selene found a "which LOTR character are you based on your Zodiac" thing. Mine is Galadriel! Hers was Gimli. 

Well, back to work.

 

 

So I posted this on the wrong blog a couple of days a go, here's some of what's going on

Well now I'm just confused, timeline?, and tears I am waiting...

For the last two years I haven't been able to watch Lord of the Rings (all three extended edition) movies on Christmas. It's kind of a tradition. I tried to watch it on my birthday last year since I was recovering from surgery, but didn't actually get all three watched. Since I have been missing Middle Earth the last couple of days, I thought I should like to visit. It took 3 days before I finally was able to sit down and watch Fellowship of the Ring and not only did I have to watch it on Netflix because I was too tired to find the cables and hook up the blu ray player, I fell asleep before the end. I'm going to have to finish it today and I just might push the rest of this week's homework to tomorrow to do it. 

Lately, I have been so overwhelmed that I kind of gave up on just about everything. It's the house. It's stuff I've been trying to let go of that carried over from last year. It's that my in-laws are trying to be helpful by cleaning but not getting things clean, and they wouldn't feel the need to help out so much if I could stop being so overwhelmed that I didn't hide in the office all day or wasn't having fibro flare ups or jarring my back by simply bumping into things, or having dizzy spells even when I am sitting still . It's that I got online to find a calorie calculator to see if my doctor was bullshitting me on that I'm not eating enough to function. No, she isn't, so now I have to count calories to make sure that I eat enough, because lets be honest after having a therapist fat shame me, having friends preach advice at me, and not having control over my food off periodically, AND having stomach issues where I feel like I want to puke before and after eating, I actually became afraid to eat. I've pretty much eaten just enough to get by. I've had days where I can't seem to eat much of anything and then have a day where I eat too much, but those are few and far between. It's stupid all of this is stupid, and I'm just venting. 

So aside from all of that, my parents dropped a huge bomb on me last week and here it is Thursday and I still don't know what to do with it. Apparently my alcoholic cousin Tony not only has a smart phone but was cognizant enough to be able to use it for more than calling people recently. For whatever reason he went looking for our mothers' biological father and came across the man's obituary. My mother's bio-father died in 2015 in Arkansas. He was survived by his mother and his children Debra, Lisa, Laura, and Billy. It also mentions that he was a Jehovah's witness. 

WHAT?! 

What I have been told all my life was that my mother's father took off with Aunt Debra and at some point went to jail for stabbing a 17 yr old for pocket change. We didn't know if Aunt Debra was alive or dead. 

But did he really? Or was that something that Grandma Julie made up? Because things aren't tracking right in the timeline, as I understood it, from my Mom's childhood around that time. Apparently my Mom's Dad was the reason they moved from Kansas to Oklahoma. I guess Grandma Julie didn't want him taking away more of her kids, which makes sense considering that a previous husband took the kids they had together. But then how does my Mom's older sister Angie fit in and who was her Dad? I am so confused. I'm at the point where I am starting to think my Grandma Julie was nuts herself and am trying to figure out how she even came from my Great Grandparents because they were so down to earth and sane and well, normal.

All of that aside, my parents found my Aunt Debra on the internet and made contact with her. Apparently she's been looking for Mom and Aunt Laura for awhile. Mom said that when they talked on the phone, it was like they hadn't been apart for over 40 years and that Aunt Debra is not only sane but seems solid. They've been talking back and forth via texting and call each other. I found Aunt Debra on facebook and have messaged her a little. She wanted to plan when she flew up to see my Mom around when I could fly down. Since I can't do that right now, I told her not to wait on me, but go when it worked best for her. Eventually I will get back home to see everyone and maybe then, if she can make it, I will see her at that time. 

So yeah, that happened, and I still don't know what to make of it. I'm excited, but numb, and kind of hesitant as well. The last time my Mom had family she didn't know anything about, it was right before her Mom died. Then Grandma died and my Mom was giving them a lot of Grandma's stuff but while they were loading that stuff up, they helped themselves to some of Grandma's jewelry, some stuff my Mom wanted to keep, and also my mom's wedding rings, social security card, and driver's licence. You know because Mom always took her rings off to clean and left them next to her wallet. We were trying to get Grandma's mobile home cleaned out to sell it so we could pay her bills and whatnot and Mom had a migraine so Uncle James sent her home with us that night and Mom forgot that stuff. We came back the next morning and they were heading out. So, as you can imagine, with all that crap plus the crap I've dealt with from my Aunt Laura, and criminal activity of two of her children, and the people she's brought into the picture that I've had to deal with growing up, yeah, I'm just gonna see what happens.

NOTE: I finally finished Lord of the Rings.

Birthday, friends, pain, and other stuff

Art by Amy Brown

Today (or I guess now it is yesterday), I leveled up or rather turned 33. When I woke up to nibble enough of something to take the pain meds, it was snowing. Nothing stuck, but it was still snowing and that's all that mattered to me. 

I hope this blog makes sense, I am fighting my pain pills to write. I should go sit on the sofa for the night, but  I wanted t get some writing done today.

The day was good, very low key. The plan was to rest, watch all three extended edition Lord of the Rings  Blurays, and rest. Some of our friends stopped by to drop off food and some presents. It was all very low key and happily relaxed. There were a couple of people I hadn't seen a lot of lately that I had missed and enjoyed seeing again. We did watch the Fellowship of the Ring and the Two Towers, but I was visiting through the first and dozed off and on through the second. I'll have to re-watch them again, probably without friends over, so I can really enjoy it without distraction. One of the things I love most about watching Lord of the Rings is getting swept up in it. 

I got a couple of books for my birthday. One book was a collection of modern day Heathen Stories, Amanda bought me Neil Gaimen's Norse Myths. There were a couple of coloring books and gel pens along with a  Raccoon necklace. Later in the evening another couple of friends stopped by and dropped off Bram Stoker's Dracula Omnibus and some horrror movies. There were some bottled shots of liquor as well, but I will save them when I am finished with the pain pills. Oh and Amanda bought me a parasol that will block UV rays.

I knew there would be pain after my surgery. You don't have major sections of yourself removed and not have pain. Anyway, I figured I would be in more pain than I am. I expected to be bed ridden for at least a week if not two. But I'm not. I've been up and moving around my house, I've taken a car ride to the grocery store and even walked through the store, trying to take it easy but hurry with my shopping. Amanda thinks I am super woman, she's pleased and a little freaked out that I am doing so well. I told Amanda that the pain I am feeling through the pain pills is what I felt all the time when I had cramps. So it hurts and sometimes I want to vomit, but because it is a familiar level of pain, I'm just kind of going about my business, but being as careful as I can not to over do it. If I didn't have any pain pills I have a feeling the pain would be much worse.

Speaking of pain. I am having a bit of trouble with it when going to the bathroom. I feel very bruised inside and think I might have hurt myself the day I first went number 2. Since then going poop or farting, sometimes even peeing, has been an adventure into cold sweats, near passing-out and great deal of  pressure and pain. I can't reached around and wipe on my own ass either (Strained something awfully bad when I tried) so Amanda has to help me out there. She's been rubbing my back, getting me drinks when I ask here and there. There have been many kisses and hugs.0

 I think she is still in a  state of shock. First there was all the fear and anger and sadness and now not only did I make it through surgery, I am not doing what she expected, so it is throwing her for a loop. She's happy, but I think she also wanted to take care of me a little bit. I think she'd prepared herself for the worst, which is good. Now she's just letting me do my thing- which at the moment is writing- although she wishes I could lay down in bed with her. I want to, but I don't  feel that I can get up as easily. So I have been sleeping, sitting up, on the sofa with my feet propped up on the ottoman. 

I also woke up from surgery with a little bit of my old sass. Or maybe its just that some of my old sass is beginning to come out again. Either way, its kind of nice. 

Well, I don't know how much sense this blog is making. I am really fighting the pain pills and this post was more of me trying to get some writing done and post happier news for a change. I've tried to write the damned thing three times today. Also, our friends are a true blessing, but I will have to write about that later.

Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes on facebook!