So I posted this on the wrong blog a couple of days a go, here's some of what's going on

Well now I'm just confused, timeline?, and tears I am waiting...

For the last two years I haven't been able to watch Lord of the Rings (all three extended edition) movies on Christmas. It's kind of a tradition. I tried to watch it on my birthday last year since I was recovering from surgery, but didn't actually get all three watched. Since I have been missing Middle Earth the last couple of days, I thought I should like to visit. It took 3 days before I finally was able to sit down and watch Fellowship of the Ring and not only did I have to watch it on Netflix because I was too tired to find the cables and hook up the blu ray player, I fell asleep before the end. I'm going to have to finish it today and I just might push the rest of this week's homework to tomorrow to do it. 

Lately, I have been so overwhelmed that I kind of gave up on just about everything. It's the house. It's stuff I've been trying to let go of that carried over from last year. It's that my in-laws are trying to be helpful by cleaning but not getting things clean, and they wouldn't feel the need to help out so much if I could stop being so overwhelmed that I didn't hide in the office all day or wasn't having fibro flare ups or jarring my back by simply bumping into things, or having dizzy spells even when I am sitting still . It's that I got online to find a calorie calculator to see if my doctor was bullshitting me on that I'm not eating enough to function. No, she isn't, so now I have to count calories to make sure that I eat enough, because lets be honest after having a therapist fat shame me, having friends preach advice at me, and not having control over my food off periodically, AND having stomach issues where I feel like I want to puke before and after eating, I actually became afraid to eat. I've pretty much eaten just enough to get by. I've had days where I can't seem to eat much of anything and then have a day where I eat too much, but those are few and far between. It's stupid all of this is stupid, and I'm just venting. 

So aside from all of that, my parents dropped a huge bomb on me last week and here it is Thursday and I still don't know what to do with it. Apparently my alcoholic cousin Tony not only has a smart phone but was cognizant enough to be able to use it for more than calling people recently. For whatever reason he went looking for our mothers' biological father and came across the man's obituary. My mother's bio-father died in 2015 in Arkansas. He was survived by his mother and his children Debra, Lisa, Laura, and Billy. It also mentions that he was a Jehovah's witness. 

WHAT?! 

What I have been told all my life was that my mother's father took off with Aunt Debra and at some point went to jail for stabbing a 17 yr old for pocket change. We didn't know if Aunt Debra was alive or dead. 

But did he really? Or was that something that Grandma Julie made up? Because things aren't tracking right in the timeline, as I understood it, from my Mom's childhood around that time. Apparently my Mom's Dad was the reason they moved from Kansas to Oklahoma. I guess Grandma Julie didn't want him taking away more of her kids, which makes sense considering that a previous husband took the kids they had together. But then how does my Mom's older sister Angie fit in and who was her Dad? I am so confused. I'm at the point where I am starting to think my Grandma Julie was nuts herself and am trying to figure out how she even came from my Great Grandparents because they were so down to earth and sane and well, normal.

All of that aside, my parents found my Aunt Debra on the internet and made contact with her. Apparently she's been looking for Mom and Aunt Laura for awhile. Mom said that when they talked on the phone, it was like they hadn't been apart for over 40 years and that Aunt Debra is not only sane but seems solid. They've been talking back and forth via texting and call each other. I found Aunt Debra on facebook and have messaged her a little. She wanted to plan when she flew up to see my Mom around when I could fly down. Since I can't do that right now, I told her not to wait on me, but go when it worked best for her. Eventually I will get back home to see everyone and maybe then, if she can make it, I will see her at that time. 

So yeah, that happened, and I still don't know what to make of it. I'm excited, but numb, and kind of hesitant as well. The last time my Mom had family she didn't know anything about, it was right before her Mom died. Then Grandma died and my Mom was giving them a lot of Grandma's stuff but while they were loading that stuff up, they helped themselves to some of Grandma's jewelry, some stuff my Mom wanted to keep, and also my mom's wedding rings, social security card, and driver's licence. You know because Mom always took her rings off to clean and left them next to her wallet. We were trying to get Grandma's mobile home cleaned out to sell it so we could pay her bills and whatnot and Mom had a migraine so Uncle James sent her home with us that night and Mom forgot that stuff. We came back the next morning and they were heading out. So, as you can imagine, with all that crap plus the crap I've dealt with from my Aunt Laura, and criminal activity of two of her children, and the people she's brought into the picture that I've had to deal with growing up, yeah, I'm just gonna see what happens.

NOTE: I finally finished Lord of the Rings.

Just want so much water, hard to keep my eyes open.

 Well that's new, I unplugged the power cord to my laptop and the screen went black. It comes back on when I plug it back in. I think I am going to unplug it tonight and just let the laptop power all the way down and see how it does in the morning. 

I'm finding it difficult to keep my eyes open and n fact, it's easier to keep the closed. This morning I awoke with an awful headache and while the head ache has slowly ebbed away, the soreness in my eyes, the heaviness of them, and the loud siren song of sleep never left. I did nap for most of the afternoon and evening. Amanda and I watched a movie, ate dinner, and then watched two episodes of Bill Nye: Saves the World. I want to go to bed but I am waiting on Amanda to get out of the shower. I need help putting the sheets on the bed because I just don't think I have the energy to do it myself and I need someone to make sure I don't just lay down and sleep.

I'm also very thirsty. I want to drink water until I can't drink any more but at the same time, I know that isn't healthy and I know it would only lead to me being up and down all night having to pee. Given how tired I am, I really don't want to be going up and down to stairs all night or worse, sleep on the sofa. But I don't just want to drink water. I want to lay in it. I've wanted to find a nice  cool pool to lay in and just float for awhile. I've wanted to swim at  leisure and even do laps.  

Sounds like Amanda is finished with her shower. Time for bed   

Fixed Sink, Inuyasha, Pinch and stab

Lord Sessohmaru- my first anime crush

Yesterday I watched the entirety of Inuyasha: The Final Act. All 26 episodes. While I have had the last season for some time, I've kind of put it off because I didn't want to the ride to end, so to speak. Inuyasha was the the first anime I watched where I knew I was watching anime. I used to listen and semi-watch Pokemon and Digimon when I would get ready for school in the mornings but didn't know they were anime.

Anyway, my friend Jeffery called me up during the summer after we'd graduated high school and told me I needed to watch Inuyasha because he just knew I'd really like it. *enter awestruck music* I didn't just like it, I loved it. I was fascinated, hooked, and wanted to see if he demons matched the lore in the show and hence my gateway anime became my gateway into Japanese culture as well- no, I don't know a lot, but I know a tiny bit. 

Well, I can honestly say I was satisfied with the ending. I still can't stand Kikyo, but my annoyance with her is a little less. Sesshomaru is still bad ass and had some major character growth. I still want my very own Kirara and Shippo. Suffice it to say, it was well worth the wait and I'm glad I saved it for a day when I felt like shit, because it helped a lot. 

Speaking of feeling like shit. No, that really hasn't gotten any better. My body still hurts all over and today I've got a pinch in my back that hurts every time I take a breath. I can't seem to find any position to lay down sit, or stand that helps. I even tried sitting on the sofa for a bit with the heating pad, but I only fell asleep. Stretching, moving, sitting absolutely still, nothing seems to work. So I get to deal with it and hope I don't puke one of these times that I inhale too deeply.

Our bathroom sink has been a clogged bastard the last month or more. We've been able to wash our hands quickly but then it takes forever to drain. Well, the maintenance men came by, woke me up, and fixed it. It's like a whole new sink! Strange that I feel so excited about it.

I haven't really written anything. I told Amanda that I think part of that is because I want to be finished with one project before I start another. She said that was an excuse. Bitch. Seriously, I'm much nicer when I encourage her to write and I am a bit miffed about how she said it considering that all through writing my near 400 page fanfic I felt guilty for not paying enough attention to her. Ugh! So for the last couple of days I have been staring at a 170 question character building worksheet for a new novel. One that I am actually a little intimidated by. Again, it's that, it could be a really great story if I don't fuck it up, kind of thing. 

I don't know. I'm probably not making sense or maybe it's that I have a flicker of drive to do things but feel like shit so I am a little bit apathetic to just about everything- which kind of makes me angry and want to cry. I hate forcing myself to do things. 

Sword Art Online, stupid people, tried.

Kirito & Asuna from Sword Art Online (SAO)

Amanda and I just finished watching the 1st season of Sword Art Online. I loved it! There was action, adventure, magic and swords, gaming, intense emotional situations, romance *squeeeeeee*! I can't wait for season 2, but Amanda needs a little bit of an anime break. Everyone we've talked to says the second season isn't that great, but you know what, I don't care. I am going to watch it anyway. 

Another update on the whole mechanic guy who wanted money drama. Apparently he was waiting in the lobby for Amanda today when he went to her work to get the money. She actually had to stop her meeting with her boss to give him that money. She said it was embarrassing. I can only imagine. I'm still so weirded out and pissed about all of it. Why couldn't he wait a few more hours for her to get off work? Why did he have to be so shitty to me, or harass me all day? Did he need the money for drugs or something? 

Moving on. I just realized that today is Tuesday. I've spent the whole day thinking it was Wednesday, even after looking at the calendar. I've had so many interruptions today that it was hard to focus on what was in front of me. However, I did manage to get a load of dishes done, make dinner, pay rent, and petition to graduate. I also did a tiny bit more research on some project stuff. 

I am tired today. I feel sick. I was cold enough earlier that I turned off the air conditioning and had the space heater set on low for my feet. The I had it blowing right on me, so I am pretty sure I at least had a low grade fever. I am sure the tiredness and lethargy is in part my period, in part my fibromyalgia. I am supposed to go to the doctor tomorrow morning and have a few things I would like to discuss with her. But for now, I am left tired and wishing I could just go to bed. But I have to get at least half my homework finished.

You'll pay for it, tired, homework, and something strange is going on...

Picture seems appropriate...

Today, I had planned to move into the office/library to work on homework. The plan failed when I woke up in pain, worn out, and so incredibly stiff, all before I'd even had a chance to do anything. So I am couch bound today and am even considering a nap.

I think part of the reason I hurt so much today is because I decided, since it was a relatively nice day yesterday, to take a walk. I'd wanted to take the Redbox movies Amanda rented to the 711, get a little treat, and have Amanda pick me up there. While I didn't make it to the 711, I made it half way- which is the bus stop, that's 0.4 of a mile. Now for most people, that's not a big deal and in fact is pretty much nothing. However, for me, with my back and the fibro, it can be a lot. Generally speaking I can do more, but that's in the grocery store with a cart in front of me for support. And I am paying for it today. On top of that I am having a pretty big fibro flare. I will be honest, it is so bad today I don't want to wear my clothes and my hair hurts. I kind of want to cry, but I won't because that won't fix anything. 

Moving on. I have decided that for today, I am only going to worry about doing my introductory post of my homework. I will read the text book and make my notes, after dinner. A&B are coming and bringing spaghetti. Which reminds me that I need to schedule time with Birdy again. Our last friend date had to be cancelled and so did our D&D night with them.   

Strange and interesting fact, I think my upstairs neighbor's sink was clogged because suddenly I heard weird things happening in my sink and got a horrible smell in my apartment. I went over to check it out and there were soap suds that I didn't create, in my sink. This does not make me happy. The last time my pipes were connected to a neighbors, my basement was flooded with disgusting crap from their clogged drain. We are talking food bits, egg shells, grease, and just yuck! It took forever to clean it up and worse, it almost got as far as my bed- my bedroom was in my parent's basement. I definitely don't want a repeat of that.

Other than that, I talked to my Mom today. She dislocated her shoulder again. Sigh. 

Trying out the new glasses, finally, tired, harassed by the cat.

I'm tired today. I hurt too, but that's pretty typical. I don't want or feel up to doing anything except laying on the sofa as still as possible with my eyes closed, listening to music. I would love to read a book or watch a movie or anime, or tv series for a few hours, but I am tired and know I'd only fall asleep. Also, I tend to feel guilty when I'm not being very productive, especially when the house needs cleaned and I have homework yet to do. I haven't even managed to get dressed, I am so lame. 

Narcsia is not happy with me. I am wearing a t shirt that doesn't have a v neckline or scooped neck line so she can't really lick me like she wants. Yes, my cat likes to lick me- kind of like some cats suck on wool, blankets, and clothing. So she tried to lick and eat my hair, but I wouldn't  let her do that either. So in a rare moment, because she was desperate, I got to hold her for more than five minutes while she licked my arm. *sigh* After that, she insisted on play fighting for a few minutes before scampering off to her cat tree in the kitchen to chase her tail around the post. 

Aside from that, I really need to eat something besides a bite of brownie and drink some water. I've managed to let myself swell up again. One of the "wellness" apps I downloaded to my phone was a water reminder. Lately, I've had the worst time remembering to drink anything. anyway, the app has you put in your weight and then it tells you how much water you should be drinking. I should be drinking 85 fluid ounces a day. So I believe that's four of my big water bottles a day. You can count coffee and tea as part of your water intake, but the amount of water from that is reduced a little. Since I know how much I should be drinking, I decided to remove the app from my phone because it was taking up space. That and I never set the damned reminders up.

Lastly, I'm trying out my new glasses. I waited because I didn't want to deal with a potential headache while trying to write that 20-25 page story for class. So far so good, no headache, but my eyes are watering a little. I figure they will stop when I am used to the new prescription.

Oh wait, there was something else. I am reading the last book in the Night Huntress Series by Jeaniene Frost. I love these books, I love the characters. I swear Bones was partially modeled off of Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which I have no problems with. But, I happened to pick the book up one day when I was trying to figure out which one was going to be next in the reading order after it- you know because sometimes authors put a teaser for the next book in the back. BIG MISTAKE! I happened to see something that looks like the author leaves the end of the series in a big cliff hanger and that's just not right! Checked online, this is the last book in the Night Huntress series but she has a spin off series called The Night Prince (which I. FUCKING. LOVE!).

Okay the covers suck, but it's Vlad and he's awesome!

 But what baffles me is how the hell is what seems to be happening at the end of this one going to be resolved in the Night Prince series when two if the Night Prince books take place during what's going on in Night Huntress? It's driving me nuts and I wish I could ignore my homework for a couple more days so I could read and figure it out, but no, I have to be responsible, I have to adult and do school and clean my house. In the words of Slyvester the cat from Talking Kitty over on youtube "Faaaaaack!" 

Quickly running out of spoons, homework, tears, amazing friends

It is not even noon yet and I'm almost out of spoons. For those of you who aren't familiar with spoon theory, I wake up with so many spoons (energy) a day and once they are gone, they are gone. I can't just drink coffee or an energy drink and keep going. Today, I seem to have awoken with fewer spoons in my daily arsenal than usual. I've only been up a few hours and I am ready for a nap, a fact for which I have spent energy or spoons crying over and then more energy forcing myself to stop crying and take the golden opportunity of a quite house to do homework. Well, I'm not quite ready for homework at the moment. Kind of need a few more minutes. 

We went to lunch with a friend yesterday and it was wonderful! We talked abut a lot of things and she gave Amanda her graduation gift. It was a card with a check inside. Neither of us looked at the amount else we probably would have made her take i back and most certainly not allowed her to pay for lunch. We had a gift card for the restaurant we went to and had tried to give it to her but she refused to take it. Anyway, we didn't actually look until we were on our way home because we needed to get gas in the jeep and we nearly crashed the car. It was $200! It was too much! We are so grateful and humbled by this gift and neither of us could thank our friend and her husband enough. We are going to have to do something really special for them and soon. 

Well, other than that, some changes will be taking place in Amanda's and my life. We are going to really crack down on traffic within our house and some other things and really work hard on getting some writing out to magazines and competitions. We are both also going to work really hard on getting novels plotted, up on storyboards, written, and polished. Then we will send those out too. 

But for now, I am going to do my best with getting homework finished for the day.  

A Belated Yule Haul post.

This is a belated Yule haul post and we can blame a series of icky homework assignments, time spent back and forth between home and the emergency room, and just plain exhaustion for it. I was given tea for Yule and Christmas but that's not my focus. No, my focus are the books Amanda and I received or gave each other.  

I wanted to finish up our holiday series and really have them available  for when the wheel turns to those festive days. I like to read over lore and various things other tidbits I find in these books to help me get in the spirit. So, with Ostara I also bought Lammas because it was finally reasonably priced. I don't know why Lammas' price fluctuates so much. 

Amanda gave me this for Christmas. It was not one that I had bookmarked, I don't think, but it makes a pleasant addition to my library and I like Dr. Bob Curran's book on Vampires. We also have his book on the Undead. 

My friend Fiona gave this to me for Yule. I think it will be more useful than I originally thought and I am excited to look through it when I finally get the chance. 

Another gift from Fiona at Yule. I am really interested to see what this book holds!

Fiona gave this one to me too, which is awesome because I would like to learn to read the Runes. I really enjoy divination.

A couple of friends highly recommended this book, or rather Penczak's temple series. I have a feeling that many of these books are going to be works in progress and that's okay. 

Between Amanda and our a friend back in Kansas, they both pitched in and bought me the Our Troth books so I can read, explore, and learn. 

Last but certainly not least, is Tarot for Writers. Wow, this book is really awesome and honestly, I never would have thought to use or look at tarot in this way. Amanda and I have already created several story ideas from just a few of the exercises in the book. It's so much fun! More than that, I think I am going to have a better understanding of card meanings through it. 

I am sure that I have forgotten some book(s) but it is after 5 am and I have been up all night doing homework. Let's just put it this way, I suppose I have to have a much hated class and my Lit class on critical theory is it this time. I tried to do some homework at a friend's house earlier in the week but failed miserably. Then I took a stab at it again when we came home. Honestly my text book and some of the ideas therein really piss me off. I certainly don't like the part about how the "author is dead". That's fucktarded! Instead of focusing on yourself, and your feelings or your meaning, why not do that but also take into consideration what the author meant too. *sigh*

Well, I am tired, and I don't know how I managed to get 90% on my geography test tonight but I did and I am calling that good. For now.

Happy things, maddening things, and well, lots of things!

My Downton Abbey came in the mail today.

Isn't pretty! I know Downton Abbey isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I love it and seasons 1-4 have come into my possession! Okay, I got it in the mail today after ordering it from Amazon on a fantastic deal! I paid 30 something for this set. I posted as much on facebook and my friend Emma demanded I send her a link, which I did. The price has gone up to 40 something, but that's still a really good deal.

I have been very busy as of late. Like I said before, I'd gotten sick. Playing catch up with my homework has pretty much consumed most of my time. I have since learned that the Math lab program is a pain in the ass of dastardly proportions and that I am basically doing the calculus of statistics. I've put in so much time working on the Statistics homework alone. I finally had to set it aside because my context of writing class was suffering. And it wasn't that I didn't know how to do the math homework. I was doing it just fine, it was just taking me 2-3 hours to do one problem and I got booted from the system the 1st time I did it. So when I logged back and found that my answers hadn't saved and I had to do it all over again with a completely new set of data, I kind of freaked. But I did it, only I forgot to put in a negative sign on the answer and had to do it all over again. Finally, I gave up on that problem but things just escalated from there and after three days of endless statistical hell, I just said screw it. I have an appointment with the tutoring center in the morning because apparently there's a software that does this stuff for you, you know so you aren't doing it step by step by hand. I will see how that goes and if this problem doesn't get resolved, I have vowed to fail the class. I simply cannot devote any more fruitless time to it and let the other class suffer. I will simply have to find a different math class to take. 

I really haven't done much else aside from homework and a few errands. I just haven't been feeling very well. We have done a little shopping, granted most of that has been online from Amazon. It was cheaper to get my textbooks for the next term from them and there were a couple of things I haven't been able to find locally. I actually do like to shop locally. 

The night before Thanksgiving Amanda and I were out running a few errands. I needed some winter candles for my altar and we decided to buy Christmas/Yule cards because I just don't think I will have time between now and when they need to be sent out to make them like I usually do. Which is actually a shame because I do enjoy making cards and playing with my embossing gun, paper, and stamps and ribbon. Anyway we found two long tapper candles that are pine scented, two small pillar candles that are cinnamon scented, and an apple cider tall pillar candle. We also found some beautiful non-religious Christmas cards that will work for all of our friends and family. Amanda is working on a little Yule/Christmas poem/letter and I've got all the envelopes addressed with the return address. We are printing out everyone else's address and gluing it on the envelop. 

Unfortunately, that trip to the store was marred by the fact that my Aunt Laura called me. She's my Mom's identical twin. Anyway I got the lecture about calling her more often. I got preached at and she really needs to stop that because A) I know she knows I am pagan because she likes the pagan things I post on facebook, B) She is the biggest hypocrite I have ever met and so many ways, and C) I am happy with the spiritual path I a walk. It is mine, not hers! On top of that this woman lied to me again! She was talking about how she has bone cancer and is going to have surgery and blah blah blah. She insisted on talking to Amanda after that and told her something different. Then she got pissed at Amanda when Amanda accidentally let it slip that we are moving to Spokane instead of back to Kansas. Needless to say that was not a pleasant conversation for us. We hadn't wanted to talk to her but we figured that we ought too, so my Cousin Shi-Chan wouldn't bear the brunt of my Aunt's vicious wrath. Seriously, this is no exaggeration.

I spoke with my Mom after that and my Mom clarified that Aunt Laura doesn't have bone cancer, something just looks odd on an x-ray and she will have to have some tests done. Well, my Mom must have said something to Aunt Laura because I got a heated message on my voice mail from my aunt demanding that I call her back because she NEEDS to talk to me. Until I hear from my Mom that it is in fact bone cancer, I refuse to believe my Aunt. She's screamed bone cancer and all sorts of things before so much that haven't be real or true that when she does come down with something no one knows if she is telling the truth and she is such a rotten person, no one really cares. I know that sounds insensitive, but this woman makes it her life's purpose to terrorize everyone around her. Just this morning when I spoke to my Dad, he was telling me that Aunt Laura had come over to scream at my Mom with a list of demands. She wanted soda, cigarettes, and various pills. As if my parents are the corner drug store. First of all, my parents don't have medicine to give out and they sure as hell wouldn't give it to her. Second, she was screaming so loud and fighting with my Mom that my Dad could hear it over his headphones up in his office. Now, Shi-chan said that her Mom was in a decent mood today but we all know that is because she wants Shi-chan to pay half the bills at the 1st of the month. As soon as Shi-chan does, Aunt Laura will just go back to being a monstrous tyrant. 

Whew and that's all I will say about that.   

Thanksgiving was spent in pain. We went to Amanda's Aunt Lola's for the afternoon. She rented out the clubhouse where she lives, which was awesome! But the metal folding chairs were too low to the ground and me, being a long-legged person, had kind of hard time with that. Plus they really hurt my back. I did switch to another type of chair in the club house for a little bit, but I barely fit in it and it kind of hurt my back in other ways. Aside from the physical pain, I had a lot of fun. I watched part of Frozen with Aunt Lola's granddaughters. We played 99 and I learned how to play card bingo, speed, and Mao (sp?). 

Later Thanksgiving night we decided to go visit a friend. But first, because we thought she was taking a nap, we stopped by Hasting's to get a coffee and look around. We found a few Christmas/Yule presents there, which was cool and it wasn't very busy. After we went there we went to visit our friend and watched a few episodes of RWBY with her. It was really good and I want to finish the show. 

I have also learned that not only is a friend having trouble with her husband (he told her he wanted a divorce on her birthday and this is after she found out he was cheating on her) but that she may have lupus. She and I haven't always been friends, there was a huge mess when she left my cousin Tony- as she was right to do but I didn't really know why she did at the time and on top of that, it was the way in which she did. That aside, we have since become friends, she is a wonderful mother, and has been a great friend to my cousin Shi-Chan. More than that, despite the fact that she and Tony had an ugly fall out, she still brings their kids over to see the rest of the family, which she really doesn't have to do. She never had a problem with the rest of us just Tony. Anyway, I am really scared for her and pretty much want to smack the shit out of her husband because he just doesn't care. He still wants a divorce and has said something awful to her son, something that pretty much made me cry a little for him. He is quite honestly the kindest, sweetest little boy I have ever met, well mannered, and so loving and that man just ripped his heart out. It is disgusting and my friend doesn't really know what to do. She will probably go ahead with the divorce, what else can she do, and then try to figure out where to move her kids and herself. Either she'll stay in the town she is in or she will move back to Wichita. As much as we all don't want to kids to have to change schools in the middle of the year, it might be easier on them if they are closer to family that can help their mother and who love them to pieces. 

Last night Amanda and I cuddled in bed and watched Snowpiercer after I finished some homework. It was pretty good. We then watched a few episodes of American Dad before deciding we needed toast and Coco. We got a little sucked into a movie on the Hallmark channel her mother was watching. It had cats in it. 

Today I have managed to get a little more of my homework done, but really I am just overwhelmed and in need of a couple of days without homework period. I just need to crochet and watch movies or read something for fun, something that's not a text book, and I need to get some sewing started... except I can't do that until Cathy gets her stuff out of the dining room, or at least gives me some room to sew. 

But for now, I am going to get back to homework before laying down for bed. I have to make sure I am up at a normal, decent time, so I can be ready for my tutoring appointment. Since I've been sick, my sleeping schedule has been a mess. I've been getting up around 2 pm and that's not okay. I will feel better when I get back to a normal routine and rhythm. Seriously, I almost cried over the anime I used to watch but haven't in a long time. That's just silly.  

So tired, my phone is crapping out, and the last week of the term...

Amanda and I made a late night run to Wal-Mart the other night and ended up getting chips, chocolate, soda, and a Rocket Raccoon pillow. She'd been wanting to get me this pillow for awhile and since it was on clearance, she decided that night was the night to get it. I've been sleeping with it ever since.

I haven't really been on the computer since Monday during the day. So I haven't had the chance to talk about my wonderful 7th Anniversary. I got all gussied up and Amanda picked me up after she got off work. She had flowers waiting for me in the car, which was really sweet! We went to Azteca, a Mexican food restaurant, and we both devoured our food. It was delicious! Probably the best Mexican food I have had since moving up here. We even had dessert. Then we went to the late showing of Dracula Untold. I loved that movie and the soundtrack is really good too! Of course you can probably guess what we followed all of that up with. It was a really good night! Oh and I pet a bat at our table, it was a fake one, part of the restaurants Halloween decor, but it was so cute, I had to touch it!

Wow, I don't know what's going on here in town but police, fire, and ambulance sires sure have been going off and on the last few minutes. Hope people are okay and there isn't another big wreck somewhere. 

I have been so tired the last couple of days. My skin is breaking out, I've been craving everything, and been really hungry, and sleeping far too much plus I have been really exhausted. So that means I am getting ready to start my period. Since I've missed the last two months, I'm going to have a bad one this time. I just hope it's not so bad that I have to be put on meds to stop it again. I HATE that. I also hate that I crave such crappy processed food all the time. Pizza rolls are a total go to for me and not a good one. I always crave steak or cheese but around this time I want all of that along with cake candy, pizza, chips, and other crap. Why can't I crave other things?! 

This is the last week of this term for me. I've been doing the last of my assignments and just have a couple more to do. They won't me take too long, for which I am happy. I am also happy that it looks like I will have an A in my writing class and a B in my World Lit class. Hopefully that will bump my GPA up a little more. I'm sitting at a 3.33 but I want to graduate with at least a 3.50. 

My cell phone has really begun giving me the finger. I've had it for several years and really liked it! It;s not a smart phone, it's a dumb phone but I never really minded because it had a nice slide feature that had a qwerty text keyboard. But it's had a little water damage, it beeps at me when ever I am on the phone, sometimes you can't hear your calls very well or the person you're talking to sounds really quiet, and did I mention that Amanda recently dropped it? Yep, she dropped it and stepped on it. So now it's kind of loose and wobbly. LOL, and recently my keys don't want to register. I have to push them several times before they decided to cooperate. So, I am going to shop a little bit on  Amazon and see what I can come up with. I am going to gravitate toward a smart phone. 

Aside from that I need to make a birthday card for my cousin. I'll do it on the computer and e-mail it to her or post it to facebook in a message to her. I also have a lot of sewing to get done this weekend and next week.

So tired, the easy part is over, I ganked something from an FB post and my purse really sticks!

I ganked this picture from the Facebook Fibro and Chronic Pain Support page. It really does give a good depiction of what I feel like on a daily basis, well except for the fact that it doesn't show for my herniated disk and disk degeneration. There it is. That is me, every damned day. This is what my life will be until the day I die. Some days are better than others. Some days I can barely walk (that's more from the herniated disk). It is what it is. I didn't want this. I didn't choose it. I am taking medication for it, but it doesn't get rid of all the pain, just makes it a little bearable, or tolerable. It used to be that Amanda couldn't touch me certain ways or in certain places without me hissing or gasping, and recoiling. Now, while I need her to rub my back to help ease some of the tension, if she rubs for more than a minute, it really starts to hurt but I am still so desperate to get things to ease up that I deal with it. It's a kind double edged trade of. 

Depressing part over, I am so tired today! Honestly, I just want to curl up and take a nap. But, I can't. I have to go pick up Amanda from work and do some more homework. The easy part of it is done. Now comes the hard part wherein I have to write a 250 word short story and then 500 word short story. After that, I have to write a minimum 4-5 page paper (which is almost practically written just in the outline). I need to have all of this done and turned in by Sunday. However, since I have a friend's going away party (she is moving back to the Midwest) and an anniversary party, which get this, is a day filled with snacks, chatting, and table top gaming with the celebrating couple their family and friends. It is a really neat idea! 

On to why my purse stinks! Oh it is awful! Last week at the All Things Pumpkin Potluck with the IEPG group, Amanda got two free herbal mixtures from two wonderful ladies who make all sorts of candles, tinctures, tonics, bath goodies, and foot stuff.  One smelled really good, but the other, whew! The really stinky one is supposed to pull the toxins from your feet, which I think is really awesome! However, we put them in my purse and now the smell won't go away. Amanda suggested that I put a tea bag in there to absorb the smell and then in turn perfume my purse with the scent of tea. Sure, I will do that, as soon as I figure out which of our hundred bags of tea I want my purse to smell like. 

No, seriously, if left alone in the tea and coffee isle of the store, I would compulsively buy every kind. Amanda's Mom threatened my life if I brought home any more tea. I don't drink it all the time, but I just love having it, smelling it, knowing I can have any kind of tea I want (if we have it) whenever I want it. I know. It is a problem. But I could have worse things to hoard. Oh shit, I think I know what my 250 words story is going to be about now. Muwaha!

The cats would tell you that they are starving.

I think if my cats had the ability to actually get on the computer or use the telephone they would tell the whole world that Skoora and I are starving them. All three of them hate the new feeding schedule. For starving cats they certainly don't eat that much when we put out their food in the morning and in the evening and if that wasn't annoying enough, they all want to eat out of each other's bowls. Galen and Ellie can't eat Yoda's food because its for diabetic kitties. Yoda can't have their food because its regular cat food.
And since none of them really eat that much they spend all day staring at me, bitching at me (yes, they really do bitch at me), and they follow me around the house, making sure to get underfoot, which is dangerous. If I lose my balance and fall not only is it going to hurt me but it might hurt them. But they are SO hungry! They are just going to have to learn to eat at meal times and not be grazers any more.

It dawned on me complete with exhausting, painful cramps why I have been so very tired the last couple of days. As much as I'm fighting to stay awake, as much as I wanted to get a few things done this afternoon, I'm going to postpone them for a few hours so I can rest and then try to tackle them when I wake up.

Also, I started reading the The Bartimaeus Trilogy at Skoora's insistence. She just kept going on and on about how good it was and wanted to tell me things but couldn't tell me much because I'd promised to read it. So, here I am, finally reading it.