All she wants for Christmas/ Yule, a friend's tonics, surprise awakenings

Just a pic I found, not my actual kitty...

Amanda wants a kitty for Christmas/ Yule. Both of us have been wanting another baby in the house for awhile now and have been perusing adoption sites off and on. Well, last night, Amanda really started kitty shopping. She showed me so many beautiful cats and I really want them all. It looks like, at the moment at least, we might be getting a little orange Manx boy or girl. Amanda called the breeder today to talk her about the kittens and so far we like what we have heard from the woman and how she is taking care of the cats. Now typically we would never go to a breeder, preferring animal shelters, and we are still looking at the shelters in case we don't mesh with the Manx kitties. I don't know if Amanda is dead set on one of them yet, but we will see. 

My friend Aine saved my butt last night. She brought over a care package consisting of two syrups and a tincture because I am sick. I felt bad because I wanted to pay her for them, I know this stuff isn't necessarily cheap to make, but she didn't care. I'm already feeling a little bit better and one of the syrups she made is relaxing and breaking up all the ick in my chest. I actually coughed up a bit in the middle of the night last night. It was so nice to get that crud out of me. I so have to make her dinner or something. 

Now, since I awoke in the middle of the night to cough stuff up, I'd decided it might be best to go sit up on the sofa. Well, that's all fine and dandy until the maintenance men knock on your door and come into your apartment. Now, I'd still been asleep, was dressed only in tank top and my underwear with a throw blanket over my lap. Because I've so much drainage and what not, I haven't been able to talk very well, add just having been woken up, and yeah, I wasn't going to say anything. I just pulled my blanket up higher and sat really still. Thankfully there is a wall between my kitchen and living room so they couldn't see me unless they came further into the house. However, Amanda was asleep in the bedroom and I was kind of hoping that she would snore. For all her loud snores, the one time we needed her to snore, she didn't, lol. She had kind of woken up too but was hiding as well. 

Anyway, while the guys were changing out the lock, one of them told the other one to keep an eye out because we have a cat. I am thankful and so pleased that he remembered that and was mindful. They also didn't think we were home despite the car being parked outside. But then they were talking about management being so hot to trot on getting the locks changed, especially in my building because "he" -I will explain who I think "he" is in a moment- still has master keys to some apartments and things have been going missing from people in this building. Now, there was a maintenance man who lived in the building beside ours and he was a nice guy but he and his kids suddenly disappeared one day. Given that I don't generally converse with my neighbors, except in passing, I figured he just moved to another complex under the housing authority people along with a manager who left about the same time. But who else would have master keys to apartments other than management and maintenance? No one, unless they stole the keys. Now, this is just my conjecture, it may not be that maintenance man, but my gut leans that direction. 

Well, we have new a new lock now, so any keys we made for friends and family are now useless. If we want any extra keys to our apartment made, we can't get the made ourselves. We have to put in a work order with the office and it will cost us 8 dollars a key. Which, I kind of think is bull shit and a way for them to make some money off of us. However, I am going to have to get at least one spare made for when we go out of town, so someone can come check on Narcisa and the very possible new kitty.

In other apartment news, our lease is up this month and when I asked about it, the manager said that we would be going to a month-to-month type of lease. Which basically means they can raise the rent when ever they want and we will no longer be locked into one set price. That makes me just a tad bit nervous. So, I am kind of looking for back up places in case we need or have to move. And we might have to if my Dad gets a job up here. *fingers crossed*

Speaking of my parents, I learned that my mother's neurologist did drop her as a patient, but not because he didn't want to deal with her, it was because she doesn't have medical insurance and because he is pretty sure she has some kind of movement disorder. Of course the nearest specialist is in Kansas City. My parents can't afford to go there, they can't afford the wear and tear on their truck either. So he called my mom's primary physician and explained to her what is going on. He doesn't see the reason for my parents to shell out money they don't have for him to see my mom, when Mom's primary doctor can give her the medicine. So there is that, at least. However, at the moment, my mom has pneumonia and my Dad hasn't been feeling so great lately either. 

   

Lastly, I talked to my friend Felicia this morning. I am passed all those initial, negative feelings about her eldest daughter. I think I just needed to feel them that night acknowledge them, and let them go. Now, I am just really sad and back to wishing there was something I could do to help, to make things easier for their family. But my feelings aside, I listened to Felicia's misgivings about their coming move back to Arizona. It sounds like she doesn't really want to go, that she is worried about a lot. Also, her husband and his sister are taking care of everything and not letting her know what's going on. It is driving her nuts. Which raises a lot of red flags for me. Communication is a big thing for me when in a relationship and with their family, having 4 kids, having a daughter with special needs and perhaps other mental issues, who has proven herself to be violent and vindictive and threatening, you have to be on the same page period. My biggest fear for them is that they will get down there and everything will blow up in their faces. I know these are not my battles, but they Felicia is like a sister to me, I love her kids, and yeah, her husband can be a dick sometimes, but he's family too. I want what is best for them, and yes, even if it means that they have to move away.

I'm so sick! Painted Skin, Fox spirit for the win, and Egg flower soup!

Skoora caught whatever it was that is going around her work and brought it home to me. So I am sick now. It is all the yucky stuffy noses, coughing and hacking up ick, sore throat, body aches (on top of the usual crap), and then there's the fever. I've been doing battle with a fever for the last couple of days and yesterday it was particularly bad. It's been 100+ and haven't been able to get it down very much. However I did awaken sweaty this morning which was a good thing but also kind of gross. But I'm starting to get really cold again so I'll have to go take my temp and take some more Ibuprofen.

Since I have been sick, I've wanted lots of soup. I haven't exactly gotten it although Skoora did take me to Dragon House on the way home from dropping a friend off. She bought me a quart of Egg Drop soup because that's all I really wanted. I decided that we needed to the store yesterday to pick up the ingredients so I could make a big pot of it myself... We did't get it made last night but it will be made today. Or so I have been told.

A couple of months ago I saw a movie called Painted Skin: The Resurrection and loved it! Yesterday I finally got Skoora to watch it with me. It's about a Fox spirit who is freed from a 500 year imprisonment in ice for the crime of saving human life. She seeks to become human before the ice reaches her and imprisons her again and come across a scarred Princess who is in love with one of er former guards. And that is all I am going to tell you, trust me it's a good movie, with romance, action, and mythological elements. The special effects are good, the make up is good. Oh and did I mention that it ends well? 

A cold, American Horror Story, and Pissed off Kitty.

This morning Skoora and I finished watching the first season of American Horror Story. We both should have been doing other things but we're both sick thanks to her father. Not that it's really his fault, he didn't go out and get sick on purpose.

Anyway, it was an okay season. I didn't like Vivian. I felt bad for her but I didn't like her. I liked Adelaide and Violet and they were pretty much the only two redeemable characters in the entire show. The show was just sad, full of tragedy, and was pretty intense in some places.

Yoda-chan is really pissed at me again. At least this time it's not about me cutting the mats from his fur or washing the icky cat littler from his feet. Oh no, today he is pissed at me because we bought him some chew-able senior cat vitamins. He wouldn't eat them from my hand or off the floor and since he won't eat wet food, I decided to break out the medicine dropper. I ground his vitamin into powder, added a little water to make it liquid and then shot it down his throat. I gave him treats afterward, of course. But he's not happy with me. We are trying the vitamins to see if he will get to feeling better because he's eating and drinking and going to the bathroom just fine. If these don't work then it's off to the vet with him to see if they can figure out what's wrong.

Remember that blog post I wrote about having no hope? Well, I am still having little moments where I feel that down. Last night I wasn't feeling good and Skoora's Mom would not shut up. She kept talking through the show we were watching and didn't want to get up and get anything for herself. When she kept repeating 'I need a soda and the TV turner' over and over it grated on my nerves so bad that I just wanted to poke my head around the corner and scream at her to get of her lazy ass and get it herself. But I didn't. And when I was getting set up to play Guild Wars with my Dad, Skoora's dad tripped over my computer cord and ripped it out of the wall and both of them were talking and so I got my stuff and left the room. I just couldn't handle it. And I was upset about some other things that had happened earlier in the day, things like Skoora's mom zoning in on something Skoora bought for her friends and wanting to use it for her own devices. Really, this woman can only think of two things in life now that he grand kids are away from her and that is gambling/money and Christmas. It's disgusting. So disgusting I just want to have a black Christmas and make it as dark and depressing as she makes me feel all the time.

On to the point, I made the mistake of venting to my Dad last night, of telling him how bad it's gotten. I didn't want to tell him anything, he has so much that he's dealing with already that he doesn't need my problems on top of it. He did tell me that at any point that I can't stand it anymore, he'd get me and Skoora home, that there is always an out and he'd rather find the money to get us home rather than pay for my funeral. And of course he told my Mom so she called to talk to me this morning and now I feel like the worst child ever for saying anything at all. Skoora thinks I was right to tell them, that it's better that they know how I feel rather than hear about it later. I think it was a horrible mistake. Now both my parents are scared and upset and they were already worried to begin with.

But you know what the worst thing is? I thought I could talk to Skoora's Mom about these things so my parents would never have to know. I was so wrong. She doesn't give a shit. She and her husband just want me to clean and cook (which I've been doing to the best of my abilities since Skoora and I came to live with them two years ago) and they want me to go back to bio life and donate plasma and buy stuff for the house. I would do it if they would ask me, but I was told to.

I'm almost 30 years old. I can accept and let go of what I envisioned my life would be like when I was growing up. But this is not what I wanted. My Great Grandma Ireland used to say that it doesn't hurt you to want. I always tell people that sometimes you have to eat shit before you get to what you really want. Well, I've eaten enough shit, it's damned time I get to start eating cake.  

Back from birthday trip

View from my hotel room

I went with the gf, her mother, and her aunt up to a casino north of where I live for my birthday. We did a little gambling, went swimming, sat in the dry sauna and the hot tub. I played Guildwars with my Dad and some people in my alliance while Skoora finished up her MFA homework. It was very relaxing and the only thing I felt any real pressure to do was decide what I wanted for dinner. 

However, I came back with something, a cold or bug of some kind. I feel terrible today! So what did I do? I went to the store and bought some 'make me feel better' treats. We bought strawberries, cheese, mini peppers, coffee creamer, pizza rolls, and grapes. We also picked up two scary movies from the Red Box, Sinister and Possession. 

Both movies were good, creepy, and I am happy to watch something a little lighter before bed. Not that Criminal Minds is any lighter but Skoora's mom snagged the TV remote before I could do much about it. I will probably vacate to the bedroom pretty soon. Since I want to be well before this weekend, I had better get some sleep. 

I can't remember what else I was going to write about... I am trying an experiment in cheese dying. I am trying to make green cheese for St. Patrick's day. I have no idea how this is going to turn out, if the cheese will be any good, or if everyone, including me, will turn noses up at it. 

So sick...

Today has been an awful day. It started a little after 5 am with the most rude of awakenings in which I scrambled to the bathroom to make a nasty mess. I was reminded of Edward Norton's character in The Painted Veil when he contracted cholera and all the fluids in his body decided to vacate. Nine hours later, I hurt all over and want nothing more than to go back to bed and the only reason I am out of it is because I can't sleep anymore and am trying to re hydrate myself.

My girlfriend's parents left for the Oregon Coast this morning and I wasn't the only one who was sick. Her mother is experiencing the same problem. We think it was the eggs we ate but my girlfriend and her Dad aren't sick at all. We have leftovers from last night's dinner but I will be chucking them into the trash. I do not want to do this again.

I would like to eat something but nothing really appeals to me so I may send my girlfriend to the store when she wakes up (she stayed up with me through most of it) to get some soup. It's the only thing I can think of that won't kill my stomach but maybe that's just the go to for when people are sick. I certainly hope I can keep it down.