Been awhile, travel, plans failed, things won, hanging on in the current.

First Happy Halloween! Blessed Samhain! 

Hi, its been awhile and a lot has happened. Months have passed and I haven't really thought about blogging or keeping up with other's blogs, no offense to anyone. We've been very busy and sometimes I've felt like I was swimming against a many different currents. Lately, however, I'm kind of hanging out in the water, holding on to a rock, waiting for things to pass before I venture out again.  Today especially, I'm a bit apathetic. Or maybe numb and meh is a better way to describe it? Doesn't really matter, let's get to all the stuff!

Summer saw a lot of changes within my house. Amanda's (a,k,a Selene) parents moved out and a friend moved in. Said friend was dog sitting- or rather, I was dog sitting because said friend was working. Said friend also got two rabbits and eventually brought her cat and dog to live here. The dogs we were dog sitting finally went back to their owner after much stress, barking, half trampled garden, and accidents on my floor. 

Further into summer, I was a guest panelist at our local anime convention. I did a panel on the history of Bento boxes and another on Oiran vs. Geisha. I actually flew solo on these, which I haven't done in a long time. It was terrifying but fun and I would love to do it again next year and have some ideas for other panels. 

We held our own Tanabata festival at a local park and about 40 people came. We had a little Japanese festival food, some Japanese games, music, some activities entering on Japanese lore and mythology, and finally a nice wishing ritual at the end.

I broke out in hives from the sun and on the very day our roommate went to the ER because her arm went numb and she was suffering from severe pain in her neck and head, I got heat exhaustion from running another friend around town in the summer heat with no air conditioning in our car. The air conditioner quit and that made the rest of the summer errands miserable. I have never done well in the heat. 

I also started a support group for local pagans with disabilities and while the group is new and very small, I am happy there is some interest. 

The end of September took me back home to Kansas. I wanted to visit family before heading to Tulsa to help Amanda;s cousin move up to Washington. My Mother's health is declining and she's as OCD as ever. We think she may have had a stroke right before I flew down but she was so worried about the hospital bill that she checked herself out and wouldn't let the hospital run any tests to see. I was not happy. That could have aided in getting her disability which would get her the health insurance she needs. My Dad is overwhelmed and depressed. I did enjoy spending time with my parents despite the sad and aggravating stuff.  My mom wouldn't let me help much around the house and stopped me when I would try. We spent more time watching shows and movies.

I also visited my cousin Shi-chan. I missed and miss her so much. It was so nice to spend a little time with her. We played cards against humanity with her boyfriend and had pizza and just talked. 

Visiting Grandma went without saying and spent several days at her house. Grandma's in her 90s and her health isn't the greatest. She was really upset that we couldn't go out and do as much, but I didn't care. I was happy just spending time with her. We talked. I went through some things she wanted me to go through and took some she wanted me to have, although not much- there are reasons I don't want to get into right now. 

Next up was heading to Tulsa to get Cousin Kat. We drove 4 days in a Budget truck towing her car behind us. Or rather I drove and you know what, even the weather radar lied about snow in Montana- or was it Wyoming... Anyway it said the area we were driving through was clear, but it wasn't!

We made it home safely.

I had about two weeks (okay honestly, I'm not even sure if it was that long) before Amanda, her parents, and I were on the road to Seattle. We went to visit some family and do some 'harvest activities'. Which meant we loaded up to go to a big farm that had various actives and a pumpkin patch. Honestly it was beautiful and rainy and I enjoyed hanging out with the family.

This was one of the trucks decorated at the farm. 

Amanda's parents

 

Amanda and I

Since Amanda has her moot on our anniversary, we spent some time alone together in our hotel room. Nothing too exciting, just hanging out drinking coffee and tea while watching scary movies in bed. We also got out to do a little shopping at Uwajimaya and Diaso Japan in the international district. We went to Daiso in Bellevue as well.  And we went to the Tsubaki Grand Shrine of America for an afternoon. I really do love that place. The Shrine is tucked away in lush trees and green and sits beside a river. They've added a few more things since we were last there too. 

View of the main Shrine Building

Fox Guardian and a view of the river

Two of the main Shrine deities-  Sarutahiko-no-o-kami, and Goddess, Ame--no-Uzume-no-Mikoto. Ameterasu is enshrined there as well. 

We also saw Zombieland 2 and did some sorely needed clothes shopping.

Back home we held a Book-or-Treat at one of our local libraries. Basically, we did a Halloween pot luck party and told people to bring books they didn't want anymore. We had two tables full and lots of people brought tons of books like we did, some only brought a few, but I think everyone went home with something fun and new to read. The books that didn't get chosen were donated to the library. 

Since then I've gone to the gym, cleaned, had some bad fibro days, and have been trying to keep moving. I am tired, still don't have all my meds yet (waiting for one to be done at the pharmacy), and hurt. But today is Halloween and there are a couple of Day of the Dead celebrations we're going to, one for sure. And tomorrow Nanowrimo starts. I was excited for that. Right now, not so much, but I am hoping tomorrow I won't be so apathetic. Maybe the little Halloween get together will help tonight!

Cycles, Sad kitty, and tomorrows work

 In light of some things that are going on in my world right now, I've decided that I need a little pick me up. Tomorrow, Amanda and I are going to finally tackle the stuff in the Bowie room and dig out the Fall/Halloween decorations a few days early. Decorating the house will help me feel better because decorating but also decorating for my favorite time of the year just does it for me. 

Narcisa is a little nuts tonight. It's our fault. We have been in and out of the house a lot and she's not sure what's going on. I'm going give her extra attention and cuddles so she knows things are okay. Sometimes I worry that she thinks we are going to leave and not return, which makes me really sad. 

Life has cycles and I am very comfortable and welcoming of this concept and reality of nature. The progression through the seasons is fascinating to me. There was this video floating about the internet where you could seen the change in seasons from space and it seemed almost as if the very earth was breathing, and it was beautiful. However, eventually all the breaths of life fade. 

I keep telling myself that I am ready, I am prepared, for the time when the cycle of life comes to a close for my Grandparents. They've been second parents, teachers, friends, and had a hand in raising me. I think in some ways, I am already mourning their passing before it happens. My Dad asked me if we could do a Skype call last night because Grandpa has been having some really bad days and was talking about how much he misses me. So of course, I left my friend's house and hurried home to get online to talk to him. Conversations with Grandpa are growing more and more difficult because of his Alzheimer's disease, and as natural as I try to keep the conversation, I can tell he struggles. I also talked with my Grandma yesterday. She is home now. Thank you to everyone who sent healing energy and thoughts. She is doing much better and is well enough to give me looks of disapproval when I happen to get a little too "crude" for her liking. I said the word "poop". I live with Amanda, poop is bound to enter a conversation at some point. Of course Grandma doesn't know this because I've always made Amanda be on her best behavior when around my Grandparents (almost at times on pain of death).

Grandparents aside, I talked to my Dad for a minute or two while on Skype, and I could tell he's not doing well. I got the sense that he's really nervous, sad, and maybe even a bit scared. Which scares the hell out of me. 

While I have that emotional tug and flux happening, I got a phone call from my pseudo brother the other night and it shocked the hell out of me. I've known him since high school but apparently not well enough. He not only cheated on his fiance, he had another relationship on the side with another woman. There were so many lies told. Now, I had spoken with his fiance a month prior and she detailed how awful he'd been treating her. But it is so much worse than that and knowing the how and the why makes me physically sick. The things he did and said to his fiance are just awful, that level of emotional abuse- I just can't- I'm having trouble processing it. And then he said he is a sex addict and was crying on the phone to me. I think it was an excuse. It is so bad that his fiance isn't even sure what she should do. I told her, if she needed to, she could come live with us. And really, I truly think she should. 

If that wasn't bad enough, I learned that Amanda's youngest nephew is having horrible problems in school. This is more than mere bullying. I don't want to say what but it is shocking and I'm having a lot of trouble processing that too. Honestly, even though I am not close with this kid, I just want to hug him and keep him away from the other kids. While I don't like his mother for various reasons, I will say that while she's a crappy person in a lot of respects, she is a lioness when it comes to her children and she is raising some serious hell. 

Anyway, things have been pretty rough emotionally the last several days. I did get a little bit of a break when some friends came for dinner and to sit in the hot tub. I didn't get in, but I went along. the Twins are up to go to Silverwood and decided to crash at our place. So, yeah, tomorrow I'll be doing some house cleaning, going through some stuff, and breaking out the Fall/ Halloween decor to hopefully take my mind of some of this stuff. Because while I know there are cycles of good and bad times in life too, this particular cycle is made of suck and needs pretty things to make it less so.

Busy weekend, Bad news, homework, It's fall!!!!

Finally it's fall! Summer is trying to hang on and give her last hurrah, at least she was this weekend at the Mabon celebration and potluck. We had a more Native American/ Shamanistic ritual at the UU Church. Several people brought drums and we walked the Stone Circle. I, of course, did not take my camera. There wouldn't have been room for it anyway since we had a full car of peoples stuff, food, and well people. 

While we were there a friend from online showed up and we were able to see her again after several years. We actually met her on a Yaoi site, became friend, rped with her, and when we moved to Kansas (she lived in Texas) we went to visit her. Then she came to visit us. We kind of had a falling out for a little bit but as with most friends, we all either patched that up or moved passed it and became friends again. She ended up moving to New York and then recently moved out this way. She's had to deal with some really bad stuff, stuff no one should ever have to go through, but seeing her on Saturday was really good and she's really happy, finally! 

I didn't quite get all of my homework done this week on time. Shame on me! In my defense, I haven't been feeling good again, lots of fatigue. We have also had company, errands, and Amanda had some stuff going on in Spokane and so forth. We were actually very busy and Amanda's parents came home a day early on top of it. 

Our bad news from last week was that the Spokane housing authority denied us for a housing placement. They said we only qualify for a one bedroom and because we weren't elderly or disabled we couldn't live in a certain apartment complex. And there are no one bedroom houses available. I thought that meant that we were off the list. Apparently for that part of housing assistance we are, but on October 1st we can sign up for Section 8, which is a different type of housing assistance. It's complicated and convoluted, just like every public assistance department in this country. On top of that, because I am student and not working our food stamps were cut. I was dropped completely and Amanda will only get 62 bucks for the whole month. Um, okay. Never mind that I can't really work normal job because of my health  and that no one will probably hire me since I haven't worked for the last 4 years despite my efforts to get back on my feet. Ugh! 

Every time I think things are going to get better, I am sadly mistaken.

But, I am going to a class on Draconic magic tonight. I've had a nap and now I need a shower. So I am off! It will take me at least an hour to get ready and I have to run to the bank to deposit the check my Grandmother sent me to help with the cars. I love my Grandma. She always does little things like this even though I tell her to save her money for herself and Grandpa. 

Fall Finally!

It's that time of year again! My favorite time of year, Fall/Autumn. Tomorrow is Mabon and we are heading out of town tomorrow morning to spend it with some friends who couldn't make it up. Tomorrow also happens to be Skoora's 30th birthday.

We finally got the fall/Halloween decor from the garage. I spent most of yesterday putting it up, not because we have so much, we actually don't have much at all, yesterday I was just feeling really bad physically. Thankfully it's not much work to put some window clings up, put faux flowers in in vases, and set up the few little nick-knacks we have. Skorra made a 'haunted doll house' out of cardboard boxes for our Monster High Dolls.

I feel so much better now that that awful medicine is out of my system. Well, at least I feel more like my usual self. Aside from that I've just been tired, but that's kind of become a normal feeling in the last year or so, so I'm not all that worried.

What I am worried about is Yoda-chan, my eldest cat. At first I thought he was having trouble with arthritis he's a 16 year old cat, it's to be expected. But then Galen, my other cat, has been bullying Yoda a lot more than usual and really trying to push his way in closer to me. Which is very strange because he's always been an anti-social ass. Now, I think it's all of the above. Yoda is a pretty clean cat but I haven't really seen him groom lately and he has mats in his fur, several of which I've had to cut out. He also spends most of his time hiding/sulking under my bed. Usually hes out and sitting with me. And he's really pissed because I keep cleaning the litter from his paws. He doesn't seem to understand that peed on litter stuck in his fur and caked around the pads of his feet isn't a good thing and since he insists on back up into where he just peed instead of walking straight on through the litter box, he's going to have to put up with getting his paws washed. I don't want to find cat litter in my ear again or in my hair. He likes to sleep on my pillow sometimes. I am going to see if I can get him to quit pouting and perk up a little and if he doesn't then I need to talk to the vet to see if there is something that can help him feel a little better, more like himself so he can at least fight Galen back.

Well buckets of poo!

I forgot to take my medicine yesterday and today... That's not good and what's worse, my eyes are still really blurry. I am not amused.

On the upside, I managed to make a few Autumn cards for my family and have them ready to send out. I still need to make Samhain and Halloween cards but I want to wait on those to see if a friend still wants to do a craft day in September. I also did some fall decorating around the house but sadly only half of the leaves I put up have remained on the walls. The rest lay scattered upon the floor like some pretty tree came and took a dump in the hall.

Tomorrow, I need to work on getting some writing done and start sculpting my girlfriend's birthday present.

List for tomorrow:
1. Go to the store
2. Work on fanfiction article
3. Work on novel
4. Make bbq beef and homemade mac & cheese
5. Sculpt
6. Watch my shows on SYFY
7. Do Pain study stuff.