Unexpected Kindness

Yesterday Amanda kept fussing at me to get dressed. After I'd help her make breakfast, I'd fallen asleep in my night clothes on the sofa watching something on TV. I was resistant for awhile. I didn't feel up to going anywhere, I didn't really want to see anyone, and even though our friends who are twins were coming in the afternoon, I wasn't exactly motivated to get dressed even then. But I had had a hard day the day before. It's not every day that you receive news that you have pre-cancer and I'd done pretty well to stay calm for most of the day. I only yelled  "I hate you" to my body once. I'd been weepy and angry, but didn't actually break down and just cry until about 10 pm. I ended up taking a xanax and cuddling with Amanda on the sofa that night. 

But back to yesterday, I finally got up and got dressed- mostly to shut Amanda up, but I only put pants on. I remained in my night shirt and refused a bra. Sometime toward evening there came a knock at our door. The twins had already arrived so I didn't know who it was. Well, it was a guy holding a green tissue paper wrapped thing asking for me. I brought it inside and unwrapped it to find a beautiful arrangement of flowers. They were sent not by Amanda or even any of my family or friends (not that I ever expected anyone to), but by Amanda's two bosses. 1. I have never been sent flowers. 2. These two ladies have only met me twice and briefly.  I was so shocked and surprised that I almost cried. We put them on the mantel so I could see them from the kitchen and living room, but also because that it one of safer places in the house from the cats. I have to make an amazing thank you card for them.

I left a message with the Cancer Center Northwest yesterday and they called me back. Not only do I have the direct line to the woman who does scheduling for the doctor I have there, but I also have a consultation appointment for Tuesday. Amanda's Mom is coming over to go with me and she said we will not leave the office until we have an appointment for surgery.  My own Mom was apparently trying to scrounge up the money to fly up to be with me and while I would love that so much, more than I could ever say, they can't afford it, someone needs to look after the dog because my Dad has landed himself some more work. My Dad also doesn't think I really want my OCD mother in my hair now and until after my surgery. No, she'd probably drive me crazy, but she'd be here.  I did tell my Dad that ideally I want them both here, but to be honest, I want them here for my wedding most. 

Well, the twins are here and I have a few things I need to get done out of the house today. I'm not sure I have the energy for it, but I will go for as long as I can. My period also started up so I am extra tired again. I'm kind of hoping that the twins don't get too upset if I take a nap for a little bit this morning. Oh and  friend of mine is coming over to borrow my sewing machine today. She is sewing a tunic for her husband for an SCA event- an event that I would like to go to too. I'm just wondering if I can get something made to go over my shift in time... 

The moon for sleep, cars, facing realities

The moon for sleep because I should be sleeping at night rather than during the day. However, today that was not the case. I slept all night just fine, got up, made myself breakfast, ate, and sat down to start the day's homework and that was that. I missed five calls and several text messages. If I look at it, I got up around 8, probably fell asleep around 9-9:30 and didn't wake up until nearly 4 pm. I don't feel rested or refreshed. I have a head and neck ache. I'm pretty sure Amanda is upset with me because there was something she wanted me to do today and I didn't get to it. I've slept my best homework hours away as well and now I have company in the form of Fiona. So, I get to do homework after dinner tonight. Why after dinner? Because I am expecting a Skype call from my parents and Grandparents this evening. In other words... I am not happy.

On a side note, I have a bruise on my stomach that I don't remember getting. That could be from Narcisa using me as her own personal high way. But the three bruises around my elbow don't make sense. I don't remember banging into anything. 

Cars. Amanda and I went out to look at possible new-to-us used cars. We found and fell in love with the Dodge Journey and it was almost within our budget. It had under 100,000 miles on it, as gray like the one depected below and was a 2009 model. I really love that car and more to the point it was comfortable and roomy to drive in.

I told the guy showing us the cars that day that I am fat and a lot of my friends are fat, we need to be comfortable. I was blunt and to the point. I refuse to buy a car that I am going to hate driving and riding in.  But we didn't buy it that day and won't anytime soon in the near future and I will get to why in just a few. 

After we looked at the Dodge, we headed out of town and out of the state to go to the Silver Valley of Idaho- we used to live there several years ago- to the Dave Smith dealership. I will never go back there again. Our sales rep was unprofessional. She did not take pictures of a driver's licenses before letting us drive the car, she didn't even drive the car off the lot like she was supposed to. Someone else had to do it. It was really packed in there. Plus she let us get into a car that hadn't had the proper safety checks done. she also seemed pretty lack luster about all of it. Oh and the car we were in was a Volvo and Amanda loved it. However, the Dodge was a better deal and more importantly the back seat of the Volvo was actually painful to sit in. The seat belt buckle was stabbing me and there was no way to adjust it to make it stop.

So why aren't we getting a car right now? Despite the fact that I am terribly worried that Amanda's Kia won't hold out for much longer and thus am hyper paranoid on the highway- especially after yesterday's rush hour traffic near disasters (People drive like lunatics)- we don't have the budget for it. If we could get our monthly payment down to say 150 bucks, it would be tight, but we could manage it. But over that, it's a no go. Especially since we have to pay full coverage car insurance. Until either my Etsy business- which is in the works and I will talk about at a later time- gets up and going and I turn a decent profit from it, we sell our novels, and or I can find a job I can actually do -which will not happen until after I have my internal girly bits removed (I would cut them out myself today except I could die), we can't do it.  I don't like it, but it is what it is and honestly, I am mostly okay with that. I'm not surprised or shocked really. 

We are thinking about adding to our family soon, however. Not in the human way, but in the small furry with whiskers way. I wouldn't mind an older cat, but we have discussed it and really think a kitten would work best for Narcisa. She's motherly to a couple of her toys and we think she would do well with a kitten. Then she also has the opportunity to declare who is Queen of the house and not have too much opposition. We think. Honestly, it could go the other way. We have found three potential kittens and if they are still there after our current guest goes home in a few days, we will go get one. We would go while our guest is here but she has a lot of animals and we don't want to encourage her to get more, especially since she want to move. Landlords are very picky here. 

The Jerk, company, a belated birthday pic, some other stuff.

A belated pic from my birthday. Amanda's Mom was going to make this whole woodland themed cake and then she heard me say I wanted to do Mermaids. Of course, I didn't know what she was planning. So she combined the two. So there is a german chocolate cake under the colorful icing and Cathy made regular cupcakes for those who didn't want the cake. That all took place last month but I wanted to share a pic of the cake at least. 

Still don't know my grade in my Lit class. So in my opinion, the instructor is still a jerk. 

My break week was and is kind of shot. We have had company the whole time. I wish I could have had some time alone to do a few things but I have also had some fun with the Twins and with Amanda's friend from Boston. It was nice to finally meet the Boston friend since she and I are so much a like. 

We went out yesterday to show Boston friend around and you know after three weeks of being sick, trying to run around downtown on foot is kind of exhausting. Worse, I haven't gained any weight that I know of, but my legs were like, "nope, bitch, nope!" The muscles kind of burned. They felt like that when I went to the community building to exercise. I had the same thing happen today too, but I will get to today later. So I am annoyed. But on to yesterday's adventure downtown.

  

We went to the Looff Carousel in River Front Park in downtown Spokane. It's an antique and really fun. 

Amanda on her horse

Boston friend on hers

And me on a dragon bench. I opted for the bench because I didn't feel like climbing on a horse and I could put all our bags next to us. Also, that is not black lipstick, it's actually a really dark purpleish-plumb. Also, I really need to redye my hair. 

After the carousel we fed the trash goat statue. It has a vacuum in its mouth, you press a button, and hold your trash under it and it sucks it up. It's kind of fun.  

We had a decision to make after the goat. Do we try to talk through the park (it is a big park and normal people can do it), find a bridge to cross the river, and go to The Flour Mill where the chocolate Apothecary, Wonder of the World, and Wonder's Bead Shop, along with several other shops are? Or do we just cross the street and to go Boo Radley's and find food for lunch? I opted for lunch because I honestly didn't think I could make it across the park, shop, AND make it back to do some more shopping and then make back to the mall's parking garage. 

So it was off to Boo Radley's toy shop. It was a neat little store that we hadn't even been in. Lots of fun trendy things. Atticus was our next stop. Atticus is a tea/coffee cafe/ bookstore and drink wear sort of store. (Yes these two stores are themed after two character's in To Kill a Mockingbird)

Amanda stole Boston Friend's head band.

So that was yesterday and today I had to take Amanda into work. She forgot that she had to be there at 8 instead of 7. When I came home, I called my Dad work on my new laptop. I just had a question or two about some of the programs I didn't recognize. I took a short nap afterward and then got up to cook lunch. We had bacon grilled cheese sandwiches. Well we had them with Amanda when Boston friend and I went to have lunch with her. I also took a Blood Orange and some red skin dill potato salad. It was nice to sit on the terrace of Amanda's work, which is up on the 8th floor. It's not too hot of a day, however, it is brilliantly blindingly sunny. So in the short time that we were up and out there, my arm started to burn. I had to move after about ten minutes. Thankfully, I haven't broken out in hives. Time to get some sun screen. 

Later we are going to go pick Amanda up form work, go to dinner, and then take Boston friend to the airport. I suppose we will just come home and go to bed after that. But our stint of company isn't over. I have to drive down to Moscow, Idaho tomorrow to pick up one of the Twins. She has a date with a dude from another town over. She doesn't drive. But hey, her sister will come get her. 

Well, time for another nap. 

It's starting to feel like home...

This is our Yule/Christmas tree. Yes, that is technically a Halloween tree (a friend gave it to us last year) but our Yule/Christmas tree hadn't made it over yet and I kind of missed out on a lot of Halloween this year. Plus, purple lights! anyway, I also decided that while we are unpacking, I might as well decorate for Yule/Christmas so I don't have to do it later. So far, so good, I think. Although, I don't really have suitable pictures of the rest of the house yet. The camera on my phone is crappy and I just haven't had the time or energy to find my Nikon and take proper pictures (sorry about the poor picture quality here). I will this week.

The move went pretty well. I think only one thing got broken and it was small. We had some help, which was much appreciated. However, it is taking forever to unpack because Amanda works full time and I have been doing homework. We have also had to run back to Amanda's parents house and go to the family Christmas party. We've done some shopping, went out to find fire wood, run errands, and had company. And to top it all off, I have been having computer problems. So I am going to try and break things down in a short list and explanations because I have lots to do today.

1. Windows 10 and my computer hate each other. After upgrading to Windows 10 for free, at the recommendation of a friend, my computer began to rage war. Display drivers crashed repeatedly and I got the blue screen of death several times. Also, I could sit right in front of the wireless router and have no internet. Apparently this is a problem for Toshiba and Windows 10 because it's on their website. One of my friends came over to downgrade me back to Windows 8.1. But then we had to download drivers, I had to reinstall Microsoft office only for some reason our product key didn't want to work, so I spent an hour and half on the phone with a nice lady who I couldn't totally understand. We had to link my computer to hers so she could do things on mine. Then here were the updates and oh yes, I had to go and turn the program off that looks for updates for me because it was eating up all the CPU and I couldn't do anything. Now, it's fixed. I think. But this computer is weird and Amanda is going to get me a new one for my birthday. So I just have to keep this one running until March. 

2. We have lots of books. We have 4 of the tall, 5 shelf bookcases full of books. Well the bottom row on at least three of those bookcases has Amanda's vinyl records on them. We keep finding boxes that have books in them so Amanda thinks we are going to need at least two more bookcases. It was so funny because when we were getting some things we needed for the apartment, I told her we were going to need at least 4 bookcases. She didn't want to believe me. We were going to have the second bedroom be an office, but Amanda thinks at this point, it's just going to have to be a craft/ library. I'm okay with that. 

3. We have had lots of company. Our friend Chris comes over at least once or twice a week, which is great because she is one of our most low maintenance friends.  She's very calm, very laid back and all around good company. Birdy and Dram live a couple of block away and have been coming over almost every day to help me unpack or help with my computer. Sometimes not a lot of unpacking gets done because I have just been so exhausted, but Birdy built two of my bookcases, the tv stand, and fixed my computer. She has also helped me out when I have had to do some homework by making me tea or coffee. She is going to come over today at some point too.  

We also had the twins come up for an over night stay. I think it was too soon. I was ready for them to leave when they left to have lunch with their grandmother. They came back after that, which really was fine. I just don't think we were ready to have over night company yet. 

4. Showers and cats go hand in hand for me now. Firstly, Narcisa loves to play in the bath tub, specifically she likes to attack the shower curtain liner and leave little paw prints all over the tub. Secondly, she likes to watch me show, as in sit on the side of the tub and stare. We had a kitty who did that some years ago, so this isn't a new thing, what is new, is that she thinks she wants to jump in with me while I am showering. Um no. I am already having a hard time taking showers as is. I actually had to take part of a nerve pill to take my first shower in this apartment. I have a thing with new bathtubs, it's like I have to get used to them before I am truly comfortable with them. Also, there is the slipping factor, the fact that I used to get burned every time I took a shower because someone would flush a toilet or turn on water somewhere else in the house, and a few other things. Amanda thinks it also has to do with my back. Either way it sucks and I need to get over it fast. 

5. I have been so tried lately. All the movement is good for me and I have enjoyed unpacking, moving stuff around and getting out to explore my new surroundings. But it is taking its toll. I am still dealing with PCOS, my fibromyalgia is flaring up- today I am hurting pretty badly, and my back is giving me grief. Something new has come about as well. My friend Chris thinks it is just my tendonitis but I have never had it hurt in my hand before. While tendonitius might be the case for my writs, I think I actually strained something in my hand. It happened in the move and I think I aggravate it when I get up from chairs. Even doing simple things seems to bother it. It is better, but it was cause for concern earlier in the week.

6. Family. My Dad's leg is doing better, apparently. I still think it looks awful. It's still hurting him terribly, but he's working and sounds kind of upbeat on the phone. 

I just got off the phone with my Mother and my cousin Shi-chan. I have been so excited and happy for my cousin Shi-chan, she has this amazing boyfriend, who is a friend of mine from  high school. Anyway, they are happy together and apparently he moved in with them. Most people who have been following me for awhile know how vicious my aunt can be. Apparently she was up to her usual shit of tearing into Shi-chan (you know emotional abuse) and Shi-chan's boyfriend stood up for her. Oh but my bitch of an anut just can't have that. She needs complete control over Shi-chan. so now she's calling everyone trying to find out the guy's last name so she can get a restraining order on him. she wants him out of her house now!  She wants to get a restraining order on her daughter boyfriend because he stood up for the daughter she was abusing... Yeah... fucking bitch!

My Grandparents seem to be doing well. They are taking their yearly snowbird trip to Texas. So far so good! Hopefully they have a nice, easy time, and have fun. Last year Grandma fell and hurt herself. I insist to the universe at large, that there will be none of that this year.

7. Finally, last night was a good night. I made Cavatini for dinner and then we played Start Wars Monopoly until midnight. That's late for us these days, really late. We didn't even finish the game, but I was kind of starting to fall asleep, so we had to call it quits. It was a lot of fun!

  

Scatter brained, caught up, and smokey

Narcisa found the punch bowl.

I'm going to keep this brief because I am terribly distracted. 

We still have forest fires going all around us and as a result, our air quality is awful! Today it wasn't so bad, but for a few days off and on we couldn't see the mountains. Saturday the sky had an orange-yellowish hue, it was really disconcerting. 

I ended up falling behind a little with my homework but I did get caught up this week. As it turns out I really don't like my photography class. It all boils down to the contact sheets. I know how to make them but adding in the camera settings or meta data has been hell! I tried to add it in in light room, in bridge, and in photo shop and had to e-mail my teacher. Its supposed to input it a certain way. She said to do it manually- which I had thought of doing- but wanted to get it formatted right. I know there has to be a way to do it but after several days (off and on mind you) of watching youtube tutorials, no dice. So that was frustrating and my teacher is a bit frustrating too.

For my new media publishing class, things are going really well. I had to create a website for my writing as the class project. I will be doing other things with it and adding to it a the term continues. 

Here is the link, don't get confused, I am using a Pen name because there is another Hannah Richardson in the world somewhere who is also a writer. I don't want to get confused with her. So my pen name is Hannah Proviance. Proviance is a family name from one of my ancestors. 

This summer is weird. It was really hot and dry and then it was kind of nice out. Now we are back to the yucky heat. I am ready for it to be over and relish fall. It has been so hot in our house, even with the air conditioner (because the lay out of our apartment is so stupid). Amanda and I can sleep with the fan on full blast and still be miserable and sweaty. So we moved our bed out into the living room, something that really bothers Francis, her dad. Tough shit! Last night was the first night that I actually slept nicely. I even got a little chilled. 

Company.

Oh company. This is another reason why I am ready for school to be over. We've had people in our house almost non-stop. We've had several people at once even. I really need some time with Amanda. I really need some time to get my shit together without feeling like I have to entertain someone. I need to get my bedroom picked up and put back together, laundry caught up, that sort of thing. 

Well, cousin Kitty-Kat is here and we are watching The Vicar of Dibely and later Les Miserabe or Dracula Untold. I'm off!

   

Whew! time to get my butt in gear.

The last week or so has been filled with people and events. As most of you know, I took Skoora to the air port for her MFA residency in Boston. I couldn't sleep very well with her in the air during bad weather or her being alone in the airport. Then I was having some trouble sleeping because she wasn't home. But we had her cousin Amber over to stay for a few days and the day she left my friend Christine came to stay. She went home today and like usual, she left something behind. She's so silly!


While Christine was here we watched some movies and she started the 2nd season of Supernatural. I took her shopping and out to lunch one day. We also played in the dinning room with the craft supplies. I made a 'good things' jar in which I am going to put all the good things that happen or things that make me happy on a piece of paper to put in the jar for later review. It's a positive reinforcement sort of thing. I also picked up a wooden and glass box that was in the tub of 'things to be painted'. I didn't have much success with this box despite all the of the precautions I took to keep paint off the glass but I have managed to fix nearly every single problem and made the box look cute. Christine decorated a few hair clips and a box she bought. I also crocheted a little on the afghan I am making my parents (which I am sure my Mom will claim solely as hers).


Yesterday I had my first hypnotherapy appointment. It went well, I suppose. I have some reading to do, some workbook pages to complete, and some cds to listen to. I think the hardest part is cutting down meal portions. I didn't really think I ate that much but when you are only supposed to eat 2 cups of food per meal and you like to make full dinners, that can get a little tricky. I don't think I will be cooking as much as I am used to. The good thing, I eat three meals a day and two snacks. The down side is that she wants me to exorcise. Normally that wouldn't bother me but with my back the way it is and the fibromyalgia, there are days I don't move very well much less have the energy to exorcise. But my therapist more than understands this, she lives with the same pain and she is going to try and help me learn to channel and deal with the pain, which in my book is awesome!


At the moment I am at the library, had to pick up some books on jewelry making that I want to look at. Since I wanted some time out of the house, despite the migraine I have pounding my head, I thought I would update my blog. When I get home I need to do some laundry and clean the bathroom and after that, read. I have so much that I want to read. However, tonight I am going to kill beasties in Guild Wars and try to just relax.