Weird urges, football cupcakes, and holy crap do I have a lot of laundry!

Today, while taking a break from homework, I checked my facebook and a cousin had posted some really dumb ass article about what every basic white girl does. I think I only actually do three on the list of I think it was 20 or maybe 27 and only a couple others were things I would like to do. Standing in line for the next Iphone is not one of them. Sorry, I'm not on that bandwagon. I've had the same phone for the last several years and while I will one day replace it, it will be for another Samsung (but that day is very far away). Le gasp! Anyway, on to the point. Somehow, while looking at the blurb about fall hair color, I ended up on Pinterest, looking at someones board and ran across this lovely picture of "Everyday is Oktoberfest" nail color. Oddly enough while ogling this pretty color, I started to get the urge to paint my nails. But it didn't stop there. I actually looked at "fall hair colors" and make up and nail polish ideas and thought about perhaps trying out some fun make up. I have an eye shadow pallet with 88 shimmer colors that Skoora bought me for Christmas last year so I thought about this...

and this

I think I have all of these colors too. I probably won't get up and do this tomorrow morning, but I do like to play with my make up now and then. It seems to be time again. I probably won't do my nails until this weekend, maybe. 

Skoora and I went to the library today. We used her parent's car to get there. It was pretty much an essential trip. Skoora can't write much at all when at home. Her parents pushed for her to go back to school but then they don't want to turn television volume down or stop talking long enough for her to actually get anything done, much less leave her alone. Granted Skoora is one of the biggest procrastinators I know, but still, her parents have bothered me enough that it's hampered me as well. I mean you can only turn up the volume of your music so loud before it hurts or you can't even think yourself. And having someone actually try to carry on a conversation with you despite seeing and knowing you have headphones on, not taking the hint what so ever, is really annoying. But what really makes me so angry I couple spit nails, is that her mother refuses to own up that she a huge hindrance. She almost never stops talking, she is always calling for Skoora to do things, and there's more, but she had the audacity to say "don't blame me because you can;t do your homework." Let me tell you something, I wait to start my homework in the mornings until after Skoora's mother leaves and I try to get as much done before she comes home. 

So needless to say, I clamped my mouth shut tight, and hurried from the house with my homework and laptop as fast as I could because I am in such a way, that if I did say what was on my mind, no one would have accomplished anything. Feelings would have been hurt, and I might have had to call my parents to see if they could get gather enough money between themselves and my Grandparents for me to move back home for good. Seriously, I have had it. Actually, I've been at the end of my rope for a very long time. Skoora is finally reaching that point too. And today, I told her, while on the way to the library, that I know there have been times when I needed her and kept her from getting as much homework accomplished, but at least I admit it and have been really trying to not be such a bother.

After the library trip, I drove us to Wal-Mart for some treats. Yeah, I know, I really shouldn't have but we don't get treats that often any more because I am trying to push us toward healthier food. But today, I just needed some damn chocolate and since I crave salt all the time, some potato chips. We still have some food stamps so that's how we were able to afford these things. We ended up with some chips, a discounted batch of brownies with little football rings on top (not that I care two shits for American football, I like European and Liverpool is my team if I have to have one -oh the days of Michael Owen before he was traded to Madrid), I got Ding Dongs for Skoora, two bottles of Ginger Ale because I wanted a soda fix. But I did choose to get a few marginally healthy things, one being a can of ravioli, two boxes of lean pockets for when we run out of sandwich stuff, and the only granola bar I don't have to make myself and it's pumpkin flavored! It also has lots of seeds and less granola, which makes me happy. And I managed to only spend 20 dollars of our food stamps. It should all last us several of days if we really thin it out and only really eat this stuff for a snack or a very small treat. 

When I went into our room to hide our treats (I have the strongest will power out of anyone in the house and I find that a little frightening), I really looked at our laundry situation. Holy fuck! I think half of our clothes and all of our towels are dirty. I really need to do laundry and I will, if I can get someone to help me carry the baskets into the laundry closet. I'm getting stronger, but I'm not that strong.  As much as I don't like admitting that I am not house wife extraordinaire, I know my limits. 

Wackadoo

After stressing out, having OCD-like moments, and generally feeling the need to tear my hair out over my Math class- which was more write about how you feel and felt while me made you feel like a complete idiot while you try to decipher mathematical theories- I contacted my adviser Sunday night, and asked to be withdrawn from the class. I told her this class just wasn't a good fit, that it was more upsetting than revealing (other than grinding in the fact that I'm not a math person), and that I really wasn't getting anything out of the class but more stress than I really wanted to deal with at the moment. I asked if I could be switched to a regular math class, like algebra. Unfortunately, I can be placed in a regular math class at this time, but I was able to withdraw from the current class and got that all taken care of yesterday morning. I now have more time to focus and devote to my WW2 class, sewing, and other little projects I need/choose to do over the next few weeks.

Whoa, the library just got a sudden wave of noise and conversation. A few minutes it ago it was so quiet that I could hear a cranky man fussing about the cost of his print outs up at the front desk. I kind of wanted to throw something at him for giving the librarian trouble. But, sadly, that ship has passed.

Yesterday, since I was one class less, I decided to sort of celebrate. I finished the last book in the Elemental Witches series by Anya Bast, Witch Fury. I still don't like her writing style but I really liked her ideas and the main plot arch and I liked the last book much better than the first. After I was finished with it I read the short story she wrote that follows the series. It was my favorite, but then again Micah is probably my favorite character.

Tonight there is a class on developing psychic abilities with the IEPG (Inland Empire Pagan Guild). I was set to go but Skoora asked if I would skip it since she is leaving for Boston tomorrow and will be gone for two weeks. She's on a low residency MFA program and twice a year she has to go to the college to do said residency. I always hate it when she leaves for two weeks, but I always manage to keep myself occupied and fall into an alternate rhythm. Who knows, maybe this time I will manage to actually get some stuff done. Since I have some extra time, I kind of want to plow into a some writing. Here it is the 8th of the month and I haven't written a damned thing for Camp NaNoWriMo and I decided to participate again.

Feeling kind of Wackadoo today. I came into the library to pick up a book and decided to sit down and write a blog before going home to deal with homework. I had other stuff I wanted to blog about but I can't seem to remember what it was. At this point, it probably wasn't too important... And I just remembered that I forgot to take my allergy meds before leaving the house and that is why I've been sitting here with itchy eyes and skin. Time to go home!

I have a feeling they aren't going to like it...

Just finished up the rewrite of my short story for my fiction writing class and got it turned in minutes before the dead line. Whew! It never would have happened had Skoora not gone over everything with me, because really I was so frustrated and angry, I wasn't seeing all the possibilities or mistakes. So, she get treats for helping me out. 

I have a feeling that some of the members of my group are not going to like this draft and I don't really give a shit. I've tried to include everything they wanted, keep within the allotted page limit, do what the instructor wants, and keep the story as close to something I even want to look at again. It wasn't working. So I did as much as could and well the mother-in-law character is just plain petty and become a full on evil bitch. Some of my group wanted her to be more sympathetic. Um, no, she never was and never will be and that's just the way it's going to be. That being said. I will take this story, which Skoora and I have brain stormed, destroy parts of it, and expand it and turn it into a novel at my leisure. My instructor kept fussing about the beginning being 'the opening of a long leisurely novel'. Well, he's gonna get a novel out of it someday. I'll even send him a copy. Not really trying to be a shit-head with that last statement, just simply saying so.

Since I finally have some time, where my migraine is almost completely gone and the body pain is back to the usual annoying levels- same shit different day- I am going to relax tonight. We'll probably watch  movie, or an episode from any of the tv shows or anime we've been trying to play catch up on. The point is, I don't want to do anything until tomorrow when the weekly homework roll start over again.  

Peppermint Tea, Waking Heartburn, and We're going to be back at the Kroc Center soon.

I take antacids on regular basis and actually started having trouble with heartburn and acid reflux when I was in high school. Of course then I didn't really think much of it except what a pain in the ass it was. Now, I am a little more concerned. My Grandma and my Dad both had problems with heartburn and hiatal hernia and I am more than a little worried that I might develop the same problem. 

Last night while I was doing some reading for my witchy blog, I read that peppermint leaves are really good for heartburn. I am so glad that I happened to read that because I awoke a little after 3:30 am coughing and choking on heartburn. It was so awful and my throat still hurts. I drank two cups of milk and sat up for a little bit reading. Then, when I went back to bed, I propped my pillows up and while those two efforts didn't stop the heartburn, it helped enough for me to get some sleep. Unfortunately I still woke up tired and still had some heartburn but nothing like last night. 

I asked Skoora if we had any peppermint tea (because I am sometimes a compulsive tea buyer) and we do! She made me a cup. I don't know if it is going to work but I am certainly drinking it. Oh and I also saw the apple cider vinegar works for heartburn as well. I'm not sure if we have any of that left... I'll have to check the fridge next time I go into the kitchen. 

Skoora and I applied for a scholarship (a discounted membership) to the Kroc Center. It's like the YMCA only run by the Salvation Army. Anyway, they have two swimming pools, a river walk, and two large areas full of exercise equipment, a recording studio, a play area for kids, a couple of smaller gyms, and some class rooms along with a church sanctuary. There's more in the building, but it's a lot to list. Anyway, we were approved for the membership and instead of paying 60 dollars a month we'll be paying 21 dollars a month. I almost talked Skoora out of it because it is just one more bill, one more worry and headache. But she is looking for another job and we are hoping that using to Kroc Center will help me get physically stronger so that I may return to work and  not hurt myself any further. 

On a side note, I read a little bit to Skoora last night before we went to sleep. She doesn't really like romance novels but I happen to really enjoy them and enjoy them so much that I want to make a career in writing them. Anyway, this particular one I was at yet another sex scene. (I swear the two main characters spend most of their time having sex. There is less plot and more sex) Skoora didn't really like it and frankly, I was pretty annoyed with it to. I keep reminding myself that I love the story idea but don't like the style of writing or the voice. Also, Skoora thinks it would be much more effective to just say  "She came" than to explain in three sentences that she came. I agree with that too, at least in this case, especially in this case. I kind of feel that if I wanted to read almost constant sex, I'd go read some fan fiction that catered to specifically to that or just read straight up erotica. (frankly, there's fan fiction out there that's far better than this) 

Also, I don't feel like some of these sex scenes are very realistic. I feel that the author kind of went overboard with the scenes and the descriptions. It's just... Well, when I read that they are about to have sex, I sigh ad hope that it's over quickly. I just want to finish the book and get on to the next one. I know I could quit reading it, but I am hooked enough and really interested in the plot idea enough, to begrudgingly stick it out. 

I will say this, I feel that if you are going to write romance novels contemporary, urban, paranormal, historical or otherwise, you have got to find a balance between the sex and the plot else you are just going to leave people like me dissatisfied.     

Whew! time to get my butt in gear.

The last week or so has been filled with people and events. As most of you know, I took Skoora to the air port for her MFA residency in Boston. I couldn't sleep very well with her in the air during bad weather or her being alone in the airport. Then I was having some trouble sleeping because she wasn't home. But we had her cousin Amber over to stay for a few days and the day she left my friend Christine came to stay. She went home today and like usual, she left something behind. She's so silly!


While Christine was here we watched some movies and she started the 2nd season of Supernatural. I took her shopping and out to lunch one day. We also played in the dinning room with the craft supplies. I made a 'good things' jar in which I am going to put all the good things that happen or things that make me happy on a piece of paper to put in the jar for later review. It's a positive reinforcement sort of thing. I also picked up a wooden and glass box that was in the tub of 'things to be painted'. I didn't have much success with this box despite all the of the precautions I took to keep paint off the glass but I have managed to fix nearly every single problem and made the box look cute. Christine decorated a few hair clips and a box she bought. I also crocheted a little on the afghan I am making my parents (which I am sure my Mom will claim solely as hers).


Yesterday I had my first hypnotherapy appointment. It went well, I suppose. I have some reading to do, some workbook pages to complete, and some cds to listen to. I think the hardest part is cutting down meal portions. I didn't really think I ate that much but when you are only supposed to eat 2 cups of food per meal and you like to make full dinners, that can get a little tricky. I don't think I will be cooking as much as I am used to. The good thing, I eat three meals a day and two snacks. The down side is that she wants me to exorcise. Normally that wouldn't bother me but with my back the way it is and the fibromyalgia, there are days I don't move very well much less have the energy to exorcise. But my therapist more than understands this, she lives with the same pain and she is going to try and help me learn to channel and deal with the pain, which in my book is awesome!


At the moment I am at the library, had to pick up some books on jewelry making that I want to look at. Since I wanted some time out of the house, despite the migraine I have pounding my head, I thought I would update my blog. When I get home I need to do some laundry and clean the bathroom and after that, read. I have so much that I want to read. However, tonight I am going to kill beasties in Guild Wars and try to just relax.  

A semi quiet start to the new year.

Rum Geisha © Hannah Richardson

First, I think I need to change and update all of my passwords again. It could be nothing but it could be something. I just opened up blogger and started a new blog where I got a message stating that I just logged out of another location and would I like to log back in. Grrrrr! 

My New Year started quietly with a few games of Rummikub and me coaxing Skoora's mom into drinking a whole bottle of wine. She's not really a drinker. The 1st was spent taking my time in doing almost nothing. I didn't go to the family new year's party, instead I went to Skoora's work and kept her and her assistant manager company for an hour or so. After we got home her parents came in along with a friend from their church and we visited with him meanwhile a Monster High movie was playing in the background. Skoora was kind of nervous about getting ready for her residency. 

Skoora worked the 2nd which made things more difficult for her in terms of being ready to go. Still, we got her packed, last minute errands run, and off to the airport in time for her flight. I was a bit worried since the North East was getting slammed with a winter storm but her plane landed safely, the only down side was that she had to spend the night in the airport last night until the bus could take her to the T (subway) in Boston this morning. I stayed up until about 3 am worried even though we sent text to each other and I spoke to her on the phone a couple of times. And despite not getting but a few hours of sleep the night before and being very tired, I just couldn't go to sleep until I knew she was out of the airport and on her way to the college campus. Then it was a matter of her not being next to me in bed. But exhaustion finally won and I fell asleep. 

I actually slept until a little after 1 in the afternoon. I really hate sleeping that late but didn't let myself get too upset about considering the circumstances. I haven't really done a lot today either. I've mostly played Game of Thrones Ascent on facebook. I saw the ad for it last night and decided to try it out and off and on today I've played. It's a time waster but it is interesting and fun. 

I did manage to get out of the house today and aggravate my back while doing it. I placed a hold on a few jewelry making books and went to go pick them up. After we had dinner, I took Skoora's mom, and Skoora's visiting cousin Amber to Hasting's. I was going to pay for the coffee and Amber's coco but Skoora's mom decided that she would. Then we parted ways in the store, they went to look at some things and I went to look for other things. Skoora's mom kind of rushed me when we met back up again despite me telling her that I was still looking. She wanted to get a book and then I guess decided that she didn't want to wait in line and put it back. In finagling my wallet and my purse, I managed to turn wrong and that's how I managed to make my back hurt worse this time. 

Back at home, Skoora's mom and dad watched Monster's University with Amber and I went out to watch for awhile. I stayed until the end of the movie but couldn't sit through another one. Since then I have been holed up in my room editing some photos, looking at what I have on my deviant art page, and yeah, that's about it. I should have logged on to play Guild Wars but I just didn't feel like it. I wanted to read but I didn't feel like doing that either. Writing was on my mind but again, I didn't feel like much of that. 

So here I am again, it's the middle of the night. I'm by myself, the cats want to go in and out, and I can't sleep but this time, I really wish I could! I don't think I will sleep very well until Skoora comes home.

Oh and my friend Christine B is coming to visit on Sunday. I'm not sure how long she's going to stay, but I don't care. I don't know if she will buy any fabric or not but she's asked me to make some pillow cases for her.   

Oh Twitter, Oh Facebook *sigh*

I am going to make this quick because I am waiting for Skoora to edit the Christmas/yule story I wrote to send out in our cards this year.

Twitter: I logged into my twitter account yesterday only to find out that my account had been suspended. Now since I don't really like Twitter in the first place, mostly because all I see is a bunch of #  hash tag nonsense from strangers and hardly anything from the people I am actually following. I also don't like that there is a bunch of this hash tag nonsense to begin with. People go crazy with it. Just say what you want to say and leave it at that.

Well, so as I was saying, I found that my account was suspended. I was a little pissed especially since after I filled out a little form they sent an e-mail back telling em to go read their site rules. *insert annoyed face* I read the rules twice and sent back a reply that was very police and even nice, basically stating that I didn't appreciate it and if I really had done something wrong then I apologize and am glad that I was able to use their service for the months I had it. I received a response stating that they had accidentally caught me up in a spam filter and that my account should be active again. The only reason I started a Twitter account was so I could follow a few celebrities, authors, musicians ect... and then have it available should I ever get a book published. Writers have to do a little marking for themselves.

Facebook: I was finish up my breakfast in the living room and Skoora's Dad had one of the seems like 10 news stations on. One was talking about how the folks at Facebook can see all your messages, even the ones you erase and there was some chatter that sounded like they be able to see what your doing while you have Facebook open on other sites or doing other things on your computer. They apparently keep track of your keystrokes. AND the lady who works for Facebook who was talking about this seems to think that's perfectly all right. WHAT?! I don't think so!

If I actually post a message on my Facebook, that's fine, obviously I want what I am saying to be seen otherwise I wouldn't have posted. And I'm miffed about them being able to see what I started to post but decided to erase, simply for the fact that I erased it and it's a little disconcerting to know that someone might be watching what I am writing as I am typing it. Enter creeped out factor. But what really pisses me off is that they think they have any right to monitor what I am doing on other sites or my personal computer just because I have Facebook open!

The only reason I even got Facebook in the first place was so I could keep in contact with friends from High School, some family members, and yes, even to play mindless games from time to time. As a person who has worked in two call centers and now hates talking on the phone (no, actually, I loathe it), and I live half way across the country from most of said friends and family, Facebook is the easiest way for me to keep up with them. Especially since most of them don't like to use snail mail or even e-mail. You don't know how many times I have e-mailed someone and they don't reply, it's very annoying. And like I said with Twitter, assuming I ever get a book published, I will need to do some Marketing on Facebook.

But there is something else that is bothering me. In that little news segment they said that the FBI can turn on your computer's webcam and spy on you. As if having the NSA spying on everything wasn't bad enough! So my post to Facebook recently was "Heard on the news that the FBI can turn on my webcam. Hope they like watching me pick my nose".  Nope, won't deny it, I pick my nose occasionally while reading stuff online. I also occasionally chair dance if my back isn't hurting too badly and I talk to myself as well as my characters. If I'm playing Guild Wars, I cuss out the NPCs and sometimes chew fellow alliance members out under my breath. Oh and sometimes Skoora and I talk about Yaoi. *gasp!*  So scandalous! I'm not saying that they do watch me or that they are, it's the fact that they can that really pisses me off.

All of that unpleasantness aside, I am hoping to get the Christmas/ Yule letter finished, the Christmas/ Yule Story edited and revised, and get them both in our cards and in the mail by the end of the day. But somehow, I have a feeling that won't entirely be the case for it seems that today is a very slow moving day. Why? Because Skoora is the biggest procrastinator that I know. She's not even dressed yet. Before I joined my life with hers six years ago, I used to be 15 minutes early to everything, now I am luck if I am on time at all. This is not something I am thrilled with, in fact most of the time it puts me on edge, but what can I do? I've often thought of getting a cattle prod but she might enjoy that too much.

Might be a long night...

This is me, Skoora.

I took my girlfriend, Skoora, to the airport tonight so she could fly out to Boston for her MFA residency. she'll only be gone for two weeks but that's two whole weeks that she's there and not here, with me. Last time she went to one of these I flew home to visit my family and some friends back in Kansas. It was different. But, I am very happy she is in this program and that she has the opportunity to do this. I already miss her.

I won't be staying home with her parents the entire time that she's gone. Nope, I am going to visit a friend in another town for a few days and will be bringing her back to my house, where she in turn will spend a few days. Our plans are to discuss Neo-pagan topics (there are some things I need to read before I leave), explore the area she lives so I can get some pictures and she can get out of the house (as long as my back holds out), and she's going to teach me to crochet. Which reminds me, I thought of an idea for a quilt.

I haven't decided exactly what I plan to do for the 4th of July. If my friend stays until then, I thought I would see about watching the city's fireworks show. I know I am invited to Skoora's aunt's house for swimming, games, and a cook out. Whether or not my friend stays or goes home by then, I will at least attend for a little bit. Then of course, I need to get online and play Guild Wars with my Dad.

Oh speaking of my Dad, he got his first tattoo! He hates needles so I am proud that he stuck it out. His tattoo is the snake from the Gadsden flag. I wonder if my Mom will get a tattoo now? I have two and hope to one day get something on my back, between my shoulder blades, something pagan, but what, I haven't decided. I have to keep in mind cost, time in the tattoo chair, if I will have to have more than one appointment, ect...

As of right now, I'm kind of tired, but I don't know if that will be the case once I lay down to sleep. I have decided that I will keep the TV on tonight, for noise. It's going to be so weird to sleep in our bed without Skoora, at least here. However, I will have the kitties, and if I can't sleep, I will read.  

Halloween Night

Halloween is my favorite holiday of the year and one of the oldest in history. I was not created by the candy companies as Max Dennison from Hocus Pocus would like to believe. In fact it has pagan roots. It began as a night to celebrate the passing of summer into winter and as a night to honor those who have passed on. We have the Christians to thank for trying to make it into something wicked and evil. No, really, we do. But we won't get into that except to say that no matter how hard the Christians tried to bastardize and do away with anything pagan, including Halloween, they did not succeed.

Skoora and I spent the first part of our Halloween evening setting up the stairwell in front of our front door and awaiting the little Trick or Treaters. We waited an hour or so before we finally had two. Unfortunately we made one of them cry from the creepy Nox Arcana music. We waited a little while longer before tearing down our decorations. Skoora was pretty upset about not having kids come by, she really wanted to give out candy and just experience the fun of the holiday. 

We decided then to go out and tried to find a free haunted house here in town but were unable too. Also, there were a bunch of teens in dark costumes darting this way and that and we almost hit one so we abandoned our search, mostly to get away from unmindful kids. So we decided to check out the haunted house run by the town's Lion's club. It was a really neat little haunted house and I enjoyed it despite the migraine and the small bouts of claustrophobia I experienced when passageways became really narrow. 

After we finished at the haunted house we went in search of a liquor store. We wanted to get a little something, not so much to get drunk just have a drink, and watch a movie. All the liquor stores were closed so we came home and played on our computers, watched a movie and went to bed. It was a really nice evening and I wish we could have more like that.