Becoming social creatures, Merlin, the house and funky tap water.

I've always wanted to watch Merlin but never seemed to get around to it. My friend Chris decided that I needed to see it and I thought, why not. I am hooked. Its not just that the show fun, its that it's inspiring me to work on a story of mine that's been in the works for a couple of years. So, while I have had several days of relentless pain and really lacked the ability to focus on school work, I've more or less been binge watching it. 

Speaking of pain. I've been having a lot of issues lately. I count the fact that I don't have my fibromyalgia medicine as part of the problem. I also attribute it to the fact that I am just plain worn out. Amanda and I have both been going like little energizer bunnies for the last couple of months and its finally truly caught up with us. We are tired and we are getting sick. Amanda has actually had some trouble with her voice- she has vocal nodes that get aggravated from time to time. I've been coughing and have had a few fevers. So while I do have a break week from school, I am going to keep it as low key as possible and rest. There are some books I want to get read before I start the next term and most importantly, I desperately need to set up my writing schedule. Which means that I am going to have several hours every day in which no one will be able to get a hold of me. I'll be shutting the world out, so to speak. 

All of that said, we are becoming social creatures. It's kind of exhausting but really fun too. As introverted as I am, as much as I need time to recharge, I am truly enjoying spending time with my Spokane friends. I do miss my morning coffee with Felicia and hanging out with her and kids every day though, really miss it. But there is exciting news on that front, they stopped by for a short visit this morning. So I got to have some short lived girl time with Felicia and see the boys and Felicia is pregnant again!!! I am so excited for her. She's a little thrown off kilter, because she and her husband were trying to be super careful and there is so much going on in their lives right now. But I know once she has a minute to really process everything, she's going to be ecstatic. 

Back to spending time with Spokane friends. We've been doing a lot with the IEPG and I've made some new friends. There are a couple who have managed to spark Amanda's interest in the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism). I used to be in it, before I went to college and I've always wanted to go back. So we might give it a go and see how it works out for us. Needless to say we will be that much more busy and will have to juggle spending time with friends even more so. One thing Amanda and I decided was that we are going to guard our personal time as well as our time together. So unless its an emergency, if we have time for us set aside, we won't be altering that. 

My refrigerator sounds like a monster sometimes. Its very strange and I am thinking about asking maintenance about it. My washer is a small front loader and if I accidentally overload it, it rattles and shakes. My dishwasher is a bit loud too and my bathroom fan sounds like it is ready to fly off when you turn it off. The house also isn't completely put together. We are still unpacking things slowly. We are going to two pantry's. One for food for the kitchen, and the other will hold my craft supplies and probably be in the bedroom. There are several things I need to come up with or do to help with storage and to be more organized. But we will get there in time. For now, I am taking it easy and slow today. I am to go over and help my friend Chris out and we're going to work on our workshop together and Amanda will catch up to us for dinner. But other than that, I'm a couch potato.

Lastly, my tap water gives me heartburn. Chris has the same problem. She fixed it by getting a filter for her faucet. I think Amanda and I will be doing the same.        

This is a really sad week

People die every day. I get that and I've certainly lost a lot of people in my family, friends of family, and even friends from high school. I've lost people who meant a lot to me and made a serious impact on my life if not a few others. So, I get it and understand it's a natural course of life. It still sucks. 

This week the world lost one of its talented musicians, David Bowie. I don't own every record and I wasn't a huge mega fan, but I had my favorites and kind of grew up listening to him. Amanda on the other hand has almost every single album of his, including covers other people have done. He influenced her, was a part of her life through music. He brought her happiness through song and even through the films he was in. 

As much as I liked Bowie, Alan Rickman had a slightly larger impact on me. Growing up he was my favorite Villain in Die Hard. My parents watched that one a lot, right along with Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. I loved him in Galaxy Quest and Harry Potter and many more roles. He made me fall in love with his character in Sense and Sensibility and I envied Maryanne.  His voice was different and had a tone that I simply loved. He was a wonderful actor and I loved seeing him in films.

Both of these iconic men died from cancer. I fucking hate cancer. I've seen what it does to people first hand, my Great Aunt fought, suffered, and died from breast cancer. What I want to know is, if we have all this technology, all this medicine, why can't we find a cure for cancer? Why are we spending more time watching the Trump/Bernie/Hillary show, blowing people up, tearing others down, fighting over women's reproductive organs, who can marry who, and whether or not to let refugees into the country when we could devote that energy to something worth while?  

Stress, depression, and anger sitting in the dark

I found this on my facebook feed. I think I need to print it, frame it, and hang it on my wall. I have been too stressed lately. I have also been depressed- but then again I always am and accept that, but worse, I have been angry.  I get angry that I am angry because the things I am angry about are so pointless or completely helpless- as in it doesn't matter what I do about it, it will end badly so why even try to fix it. Then that supposed to be wonderful phrase of "setting your boundaries" echos in my head and grrrrr, I just don't even want to get into it. Then I get depressed because I am so sad that I allowed myself to get angry or upset in the first place or even that I got stressed out and boy am I stressed out. I know that we humans live with at least a marginal amount of stress, that's life, but I swear if it isn't one thing its another. And it all cycles.

Amanda's driver's side car door is broken again. The tires still need to be replaced. The heat in my jeep is still broken, but hey, we managed to get new windshield wipers! Woo Hoo! 

Both cars have gas and are running, so that is something to celebrate. 

I am frustrated with several of my friends and no, I don't want to talk or even vent about it.

I've decided after years of saying that I was going to do it, that I am going to make a sign to hang outside my front door that pretty much says "don't talk about politics, religion, social issues or trigger warnings in this house unless invited to do so. This is the neutral zone and if you are too delicate or fragile for that, get lost". Or something to that effect. I am tired of it. I am tired of people thinking they need to police other people or that people shouldn't have this or that. This is my house and I refuse to be lectured, told what's right and wrong, or "reeducated" within it. I know it's all passive aggressive, but damn it, I fucking hate confrontation. A sign, you don't need to say a thing. Of course that is part of my problem, I am too polite and too nice to call people out on their bullshit or tell them when they are being offensive. 

The good news is that I have enrolled in health care. I am waiting on my cards to arrive in the mail so I can start looking for doctors and setting up appointments. I'm going to have to find a therapist and break them in. 

I need some time to myself. I do get some but I would like time where I don't have to worry about homework. Speaking of, I'm going to fail formal logic. I haven't failed a class in a long time and I just don't care. I can't find a tutor at the school- at least one isn't listed for that class. I e-mailed my adviser and that's really my last shot. Otherwise, fuck it. It really isn't the end of the world, but it certainly doesn't feel good. 

Another thing that doesn't feel good is the fact that I an feel myself inching closer to a breakdown. I don't want that. 

Back to needing some time to myself. I need a couple of days to just read, meditate, and relax without someone asking me for something or wanting to come over to my house. I was told that there is a lot of good energy in my house and I'd like to keep it that way. So, I may devote this weekend- after I get done with IEPG stuff, to homework, working ahead, to buy myself a couple of days of rest. It's so weird but I feel drained by people who aren't even here.

Oh well. I am going to make a yummy dinner and fresh pot of coffee for Amanda. We are going to a World Religion Celebration or some such with PFLAG tonight. Apparently they asked someone from our IEPG group to speak and since Amanda and I are the resident lesbian couple in the IEPG, that someone thought we should attend and answer any questions. I also need to make myself look presentable. I might feel better with pretty hair and make up.

A little bout of insomnia, Xmas/Yule update, Homework, and my apartment smells weird.

I have been having trouble sleeping the last couple of days. Tonight, well it's now morning, I haven't slept a wink. I tried. I tried a couple of tricks that usually work for me to no avail. So I decided that laying in bed was useless and got up to get something accomplished. Said accomplishments were looking up some recipes, making a meal plan for the next two weeks, and compiling a grocery list. We're going to have lots of veggies and protein. I need to bring some more fruit into the mix. At the moment we have Kiwi and a couple of oranges that need to be eaten. 

Yule went very well. I went to a Yule party at a friend's house and gave myself a beer bath twice. Our friends are Heathen and brew their own Mead and Beer. I got to try three different types of their beer and at least one type of their Mead. The reason I gave myself a beer bath was because we all drank out of a very large drinking horn while standing around a fire chatting and toasting the Gods and Wights. It was wonderful and we've been invited back for next year. 

Christmas went well too. I made a big dinner, like my Grandma makes. Amanda's parent's came and it was a nice, quiet day. My first turkey fell off the bone. We shredded and froze what was left and I have been using a little bit here and there for sandwiches and turkey enchilada casserole. 

I got a week off from school, which I really needed. Amanda and I have been going non-stop for so long that I can't remember a time when we weren't very busy. Between school, IEPG obligations, being exhausted, and moving/unpacking, we've hardly had time to ourselves. I sat down to do my homework this weekend, basically telling everyone who comes to visit us that we were unavailable for a few days. My cultural anthropology class is going very well but formal logic has my head spinning with the various abbreviations and symbols. I feel a bit lost with it and need to see if there is a tutor available. Part of me just wants to say fuck it, the stress and time wasted on it isn't worth it, plan to fail the class, and take something else to make up the credits later. I haven't decided what I am going to do yet. 

I am happy to be in my own home, the happiest I have been in a long time. However, Amanda and I are a bit frustrated. We have so many books, a library so to speak and while we are going through some books and getting rid of some, we are keeping a lot. We have four five shelf bookcases in the spare room and think we need four more. We also have a 9 cube bookcase in the living room with all of our pagan related books. Amanda has a lot of things from her childhood that she is going through, and will be going through and getting rid of some things as well. We just don't need everything we have and have out grown a lot.

I would post pictures of the apartment but it is a mess. Felicia, our old neighbor, brought the rest of our stuff from Amanda;s parents house and we have yet to find places for all of it. With Amanda working full time and me in school, it's going to be a little longer before we get it all put away and gone through. It is a bit depressing. It feels like home and yet it doesn't because it is not settled... if that makes sense. We still have some furniture to buy too.

Good news! We found a set of kitchen chairs. Four of them for 30 dollars and even a chair for 10 dollars that Amanda is using as her writing chair. 

Bad news, I am overly exhausted and just want a day to sleep, or in the very least, lay on the sofa and read or watch movies or something.

Happy news, I found some interesting tea at a local grocery chain. It's tea with saffron in it. There is a variety, which is nice and while I haven't tried them yet, I am excited for when I do. I did pick up a goji berry tea as well. 

My apartment smells weird. I have a scented wax burner that I use pretty much every moment that I am awake, but it doesn't seem to do what I want. That and the bathroom oil diffuser air freshener kind of overpowers everything. I need something milder in that room. 

Well that's all for now. I need to get Amanda up and moving for work. 

Happy New Year to everyone!!!

Becoming an Aunt, new noises, getting ready for Yule and Christmas

Narcisa and I are getting used to new noises in our new home, specifically the washer and dryer. It's becoming apparent that I need to put in a work order for the washer. It squeaks and rattles something awful when it hits any kind of spin cycle. 

To go with the laundry sounds, the maintenance men have been stomping and banging around upstairs for the last couple of days. Either the people above us were evicted or they abandoned their apartment because maintenance were throwing beds and chairs over the balcony and moving furniture out the other day. Yesterday I don't know what they were doing in the kitchen but they dropped something heavy and big, right above my head when I was cooking. It scared the crap out of me and out of my friend Birdy, who was visiting. 

On the subject of cooking, I screwed up my bierocks dough yesterday. I was trying to make two meals at once and didn't catch all the directions. Typically I make the dough out of Bisquick and just add a little sugar but I wanted to see if I could find something "authentic" per se. Rather, I wanted my Grandmother's recipe but she can't find it and is heading for Texas. Needless to say, my dough didn't rise. The filling is done and tastes good, might need an extra onion though. 

The other meal I made was a chicken stir fry with lots of veggies. I told Amanda last night that I'm not really worrying about any kind of weight loss at the moment, I'm getting though the holidays and then we need to take advantage of the little gym and indoor swimming pool here at our apartment complex. She suggested that we take the bus into downtown Spokane and walk around the park. There are plenty of benches for when I need to sit for a moment. I just have to be really careful with that because I tend to push myself and a lot of times overdo it, which is kind of counter productive. 

My previous next door neighbor Felicia deemed Amanda and I designated Aunts to children (which is awesome because I totally love those kids). So, we were invited to her eldest boy's Christmas concert. He was such a goofball and so adorable.

He's the one on the left in overalls and a red shirt. He did the actions to the songs they sang and kind of stood apart from his class mates. 

Things in the apartment are coming together more and more every day. I get a week off from school work so I will have more time to do things around the house. I might just take a day to sleep. I have been so exhausted lately. We put Christmas lights up in the kitchen last night. The blue ones over the cabinets are staying all year round because I love the blue glow. Amanda is going to saw up some wood we collected last week end and I am going to see if she will help me put up some decorations outside this weekend... when we have a moment. We are doing our Yule celebration with the IEPG this weekend. Friday, I will probably be cooking treats all day. Amanda will be making hers on Saturday morning. We've sort of become really busy people, it's nice in a way but I think things will calm down when we get everything unpacked and put away. 

Well, it's off to homework land for me.

It's starting to feel like home...

This is our Yule/Christmas tree. Yes, that is technically a Halloween tree (a friend gave it to us last year) but our Yule/Christmas tree hadn't made it over yet and I kind of missed out on a lot of Halloween this year. Plus, purple lights! anyway, I also decided that while we are unpacking, I might as well decorate for Yule/Christmas so I don't have to do it later. So far, so good, I think. Although, I don't really have suitable pictures of the rest of the house yet. The camera on my phone is crappy and I just haven't had the time or energy to find my Nikon and take proper pictures (sorry about the poor picture quality here). I will this week.

The move went pretty well. I think only one thing got broken and it was small. We had some help, which was much appreciated. However, it is taking forever to unpack because Amanda works full time and I have been doing homework. We have also had to run back to Amanda's parents house and go to the family Christmas party. We've done some shopping, went out to find fire wood, run errands, and had company. And to top it all off, I have been having computer problems. So I am going to try and break things down in a short list and explanations because I have lots to do today.

1. Windows 10 and my computer hate each other. After upgrading to Windows 10 for free, at the recommendation of a friend, my computer began to rage war. Display drivers crashed repeatedly and I got the blue screen of death several times. Also, I could sit right in front of the wireless router and have no internet. Apparently this is a problem for Toshiba and Windows 10 because it's on their website. One of my friends came over to downgrade me back to Windows 8.1. But then we had to download drivers, I had to reinstall Microsoft office only for some reason our product key didn't want to work, so I spent an hour and half on the phone with a nice lady who I couldn't totally understand. We had to link my computer to hers so she could do things on mine. Then here were the updates and oh yes, I had to go and turn the program off that looks for updates for me because it was eating up all the CPU and I couldn't do anything. Now, it's fixed. I think. But this computer is weird and Amanda is going to get me a new one for my birthday. So I just have to keep this one running until March. 

2. We have lots of books. We have 4 of the tall, 5 shelf bookcases full of books. Well the bottom row on at least three of those bookcases has Amanda's vinyl records on them. We keep finding boxes that have books in them so Amanda thinks we are going to need at least two more bookcases. It was so funny because when we were getting some things we needed for the apartment, I told her we were going to need at least 4 bookcases. She didn't want to believe me. We were going to have the second bedroom be an office, but Amanda thinks at this point, it's just going to have to be a craft/ library. I'm okay with that. 

3. We have had lots of company. Our friend Chris comes over at least once or twice a week, which is great because she is one of our most low maintenance friends.  She's very calm, very laid back and all around good company. Birdy and Dram live a couple of block away and have been coming over almost every day to help me unpack or help with my computer. Sometimes not a lot of unpacking gets done because I have just been so exhausted, but Birdy built two of my bookcases, the tv stand, and fixed my computer. She has also helped me out when I have had to do some homework by making me tea or coffee. She is going to come over today at some point too.  

We also had the twins come up for an over night stay. I think it was too soon. I was ready for them to leave when they left to have lunch with their grandmother. They came back after that, which really was fine. I just don't think we were ready to have over night company yet. 

4. Showers and cats go hand in hand for me now. Firstly, Narcisa loves to play in the bath tub, specifically she likes to attack the shower curtain liner and leave little paw prints all over the tub. Secondly, she likes to watch me show, as in sit on the side of the tub and stare. We had a kitty who did that some years ago, so this isn't a new thing, what is new, is that she thinks she wants to jump in with me while I am showering. Um no. I am already having a hard time taking showers as is. I actually had to take part of a nerve pill to take my first shower in this apartment. I have a thing with new bathtubs, it's like I have to get used to them before I am truly comfortable with them. Also, there is the slipping factor, the fact that I used to get burned every time I took a shower because someone would flush a toilet or turn on water somewhere else in the house, and a few other things. Amanda thinks it also has to do with my back. Either way it sucks and I need to get over it fast. 

5. I have been so tried lately. All the movement is good for me and I have enjoyed unpacking, moving stuff around and getting out to explore my new surroundings. But it is taking its toll. I am still dealing with PCOS, my fibromyalgia is flaring up- today I am hurting pretty badly, and my back is giving me grief. Something new has come about as well. My friend Chris thinks it is just my tendonitis but I have never had it hurt in my hand before. While tendonitius might be the case for my writs, I think I actually strained something in my hand. It happened in the move and I think I aggravate it when I get up from chairs. Even doing simple things seems to bother it. It is better, but it was cause for concern earlier in the week.

6. Family. My Dad's leg is doing better, apparently. I still think it looks awful. It's still hurting him terribly, but he's working and sounds kind of upbeat on the phone. 

I just got off the phone with my Mother and my cousin Shi-chan. I have been so excited and happy for my cousin Shi-chan, she has this amazing boyfriend, who is a friend of mine from  high school. Anyway, they are happy together and apparently he moved in with them. Most people who have been following me for awhile know how vicious my aunt can be. Apparently she was up to her usual shit of tearing into Shi-chan (you know emotional abuse) and Shi-chan's boyfriend stood up for her. Oh but my bitch of an anut just can't have that. She needs complete control over Shi-chan. so now she's calling everyone trying to find out the guy's last name so she can get a restraining order on him. she wants him out of her house now!  She wants to get a restraining order on her daughter boyfriend because he stood up for the daughter she was abusing... Yeah... fucking bitch!

My Grandparents seem to be doing well. They are taking their yearly snowbird trip to Texas. So far so good! Hopefully they have a nice, easy time, and have fun. Last year Grandma fell and hurt herself. I insist to the universe at large, that there will be none of that this year.

7. Finally, last night was a good night. I made Cavatini for dinner and then we played Start Wars Monopoly until midnight. That's late for us these days, really late. We didn't even finish the game, but I was kind of starting to fall asleep, so we had to call it quits. It was a lot of fun!

  

A Quick Announcement!!!

In these past weeks I haven't really been in the internet. I haven't really been on the computer either- more like avoiding it because I was frankly too tired. Well, I'm here to say that's not going to get in better for the next few weeks because we finally got a move-in date for our apartment!!!

December 1st at 10 am, we do the walk through and paper signing. From there we'll be picking up a Uhaul and spending the day moving our stuff. We won't have internet for a couple of weeks, which sucks because my next term starts up on November 30th, but I have a couple of places I can go to do homework. Of course, I am going to try to get my teachers to open the modules early for me, so I can get a good deal of the homework finished before life becomes chaos. Especially since we are having Amanda's family Christmas party this weekend. Because everything has to happen all at once, during the same week.

Anyway, just wanted to let everyone know what's going on. As soon as we get moved in, unpacked, and situated, I will take some pictures.