Just want so much water, hard to keep my eyes open.

 Well that's new, I unplugged the power cord to my laptop and the screen went black. It comes back on when I plug it back in. I think I am going to unplug it tonight and just let the laptop power all the way down and see how it does in the morning. 

I'm finding it difficult to keep my eyes open and n fact, it's easier to keep the closed. This morning I awoke with an awful headache and while the head ache has slowly ebbed away, the soreness in my eyes, the heaviness of them, and the loud siren song of sleep never left. I did nap for most of the afternoon and evening. Amanda and I watched a movie, ate dinner, and then watched two episodes of Bill Nye: Saves the World. I want to go to bed but I am waiting on Amanda to get out of the shower. I need help putting the sheets on the bed because I just don't think I have the energy to do it myself and I need someone to make sure I don't just lay down and sleep.

I'm also very thirsty. I want to drink water until I can't drink any more but at the same time, I know that isn't healthy and I know it would only lead to me being up and down all night having to pee. Given how tired I am, I really don't want to be going up and down to stairs all night or worse, sleep on the sofa. But I don't just want to drink water. I want to lay in it. I've wanted to find a nice  cool pool to lay in and just float for awhile. I've wanted to swim at  leisure and even do laps.  

Sounds like Amanda is finished with her shower. Time for bed   

Important lessons, nursing dark chocolate, pain, restlessness

I made a toner recently. I thought that A) it would be good for my skin and B) because I have been wearing more make up, it would help soothe my skin. My toner is made up of 3 parts witch hazel and 1 part rose water. I use it in the morning after I wash my face and again at night when I have removed my make up. Except last night, for some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to use it on my eye lids. Sometimes, I'm not very smart. Sometimes I forget that I have very sensitive skin and my the area around my eyes is no exception. (I also sometimes forget that I gave myself a chemical burn with Nair once while trying to remove some of the eyebrows. It was a disaster by the way.) Thankfully, while I didn't end up with a chemical burn, at least according to what I could see, the area along my eye lashes certainly felt a bit stingy itchy, and kind of burn like last night. I told my friend Chris about it and got an almost Mom-like almost scolding. 

My eyes felt better this morning and good enough that I decided to try wearing make up. So far so good. I'm a tad peeved because it took me an hour and a half to do it and all I want to do is curl up somewhere and take a nap. I was rudely awakened by PCOS problems around six this morning and since Amanda had to be up shortly anyway, I just stayed up and made breakfast and coffee. Because of the PCOS problems of today, my back, my hips, and my legs have this incessant dull ache that is driving me crazy. This sort of pain is so draining, forget that I'm bleeding like a stuck pig, and they we add the energy drain from the fibromyaligia... I'm not a happy camper. But, I'm still going to get dressed and I am still going to go visit Chris today. I may just end up curled up in a chair with a small cute dog for cuddles. Chris is house/ dog sitting for a friend of ours and you know what, my friend's dog cuddles me more than Narcisa. *sigh* 

Speaking of my kitty cat, we got her a small box from the store. It was just something that had had cans or dry goods in, not a flat, a box. She loves to sit in it and Fiona and Amanda were sliding her back and forth across the carpet. Narcisa seemed to enjoy it. So, yesterday, I decided I would play with her like that too. Only I didn't have someone to push her back to me, so I was pushing her with my foot. That was fine until I sent her into the ottoman face first. She was not happy with me. Honestly, she was fine, just a little miffed. 

Anyway, I am feeling a bit restless today. There is plenty of house cleaning I could do and there are several craft projects I would love to do but don't have the time or quite the amount of energy for. I think I will stick to something simple, easy, like coloring since I am going to leave at some point today. And until lunch time, I think I will visit my fox cookie jar and nurse a small piece of dark chocolate to soothe my temperament.

Let's play catch up: A little behind and a little caught up.

Art by Stephanie Pui-Mun Law

For one, this is me giving myself a few more minutes on the heating pad before I hit the shower. Last night, I don't know what I did but one of the times I got up from my desk I almost couldn't walk. I'm very sick of this herniated disk business. I'm also very sick of fibromyaglia and whatever is going on with my internal female bits. A friend suggested I look into PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and speak with a doctor, well a more specialized doctor. But these are just normal, everyday ailments and complaints about them and I am done, for this post.

Love Stephanie Pui-Mun Law's art work! We just recently and finally bought her Shadowscapes Tarot cards. I am in love with them! The art is simply lovely!

A lot has happened since I last posted. I dyed my hair black again and had a friend put blue streaks in it. That was an adventure in itself. I like it but now that my skin is less smurf- like (rinsed my hair out in the shower having forgotten that manic panic stains like a snarky bitch) some of the blue has faded. It's kind of a dusty teal color in places. If I decide to do this again, I think I will get a better quality bleach and go with Special Effects hair dye. I didn't seem to have as many problems with it when I did the tips of my hair red.

Skoora's parents decided that we needed to switch bedrooms. Part of me wonders "Why now? After all of this time and now that we are working on moving out?" The other part of me isn't going to fuss because now we have so much more room and can actually move. Did I mention that the door has a lock on it? More privacy! We also have an actual closet and because we have it, our clothing is not in the bath tub. We had to hang our clothes up in bath tub area of our old bathroom because we just didn't have closet space in our old room. So now we have two fully functional bathrooms, Skoora's parents have their own shower as do we.

My 30th birthday came and went. No, I'm not upset or ashamed to admit my age. I'm actually quite comfortable with it. I don't really see myself as an "older person". I don't view aging as a bad thing, it doesn't bother me. Besides, I've heard tale that 30 is the new 20. Did I mention that Skoora and her Mom threw me a surprise party? It was really nice!

I'm going back to school online much to annoyance of my parents. All my life both of them, including my Grandparents, harped on me the necessity of having a college degree. I remember telling my Dad as I was getting ready to graduate high school that I didn't want to go to college because I didn't want to be in debt but he made me go anyway. Now, now he and my Mom don't want me to go because I will be in even more debt than I am now. Well, so what. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't care, I do and very much so, but I still don't have my degree (my fault since I've tried to be and study things everyone else wanted and not entirely what I wanted and there were some life things that happened that made me quit going). So I am going back for the degree I want and since I have physical problems that caused me to quit last time I went to school, I'm doing it online. I've decided that I'm just going to do this whether or not my parents like it. It is my life after all and I have to deal with all outcomes positive or negative and I can't keep living it the way everyone else wants. I've felt tugged in so many different directions for so long, it's time to do some things for myself.

I've fallen a little behind with a lot of things since I had a friend visiting for my birthday and shortly after she left, we changed bedrooms. Our bedroom is almost 100% put back together. We have a tiny bit left to move back in (just a few boxes and bags of stuff). I'm behind on blog writing but I've managed to be on top of getting everything into the new college that they needed (for the moment). I know how much it's going to cost to get the cavities in my teeth filled. I have an eye exam today in which I will probably be ordering a new pair of glasses (it will be so nice to not have to squint to see stuff far away) and sun glasses. I was thinking about just getting contacts but I think they will cost more in the long run, especially since I have to have to torric lenses. I like the sun, but I have a love-hate relationship with it. It hurts my eyes and burns my skin within 15 minutes of being out in it. Sometimes I even break out in hives where I've burned. Not fun.

Other things have happened but they are for other posts and I need to get into the shower and dressed in a few minutes since Skoora's Mom just took her shower. Have to wait for the hot water. 

Blurry eyes

I had my birthday party this weekend even though my birthday isn't until Monday, which is only a few hours away. We had some friends up from Moscow and one from here in town whom we hadn't seen in a couple of year. The theme was fantasy and my gf drew me a really cute picture for my cake. I'll post that later. There were games played, movies watched, and we made fairy jars. I think most of the jars were left but we'll wash them out and reuse them a little later for something else.

All in all it was really fun and I am really glad everyone could make it. I wish my parents and some of my family and friends could have made it but really, they are 1,500 miles away, and with everyone being so broke, there just wasn't any way. That's okay, I'll see them next month sometime.

Today hasn't been the best of day however. I've had a head ache all day, my back's been acting up, and my eyes are really blurry. I don't know what's going on with my eyes, if I haven't been getting enough sleep or it just really is time for me to get new glasses. Either way it's really annoying and not helping my head ache.
But I am off to bed since I have a busy day tomorrow.