Needy Assholes, weekend of fuck it, and think I'm going to need a special ruler.

After the emotional word vomit of my last post I decided to have a weekend to try and get some shit together, as in to clean the house and then relax. It was Amanda's weekend to work so that makes it a little more difficult, in that she's more worn out. It did not help that the Editorial staff of the paper made a choice that had people calling up to cancel their subscriptions. They put an anti-transgender article written by some religious figure in a column section instead of in the opinion section. And they probably could have avoided the uproar had they prefaced it with something like, "we as a paper believe in free speech and want to let all opinions be heard equally, however this opinion does not reflect the opinions of this paper and its staff".  So, yeah, she got to deal with that shit and since I wasn't feeling good, we kind of said fuck it this weekend. 

We did get the clean clothes hung up and some laundry done. We did tidy up the bedroom. Amanda did the dishes for me while I organized the pantry and she even cooked. All that is left is to clean up the weekend mess in the kitchen, pick up and vacuum the living room, and clean the bathroom. But we can take that slow today. 

We have also been working on a story together and that's been fun and helpful,

Another helpful thing we did to relax, was to finally use the theater gift card a friend gave us for Yule to have a date day. We saw Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, a movie based off a graphic novel series. It had a simple plot, but it was fun. The visuals were really nice, the pacing was smooth, and the characters likeable. My favorite character was Bubble and my next favorite was the converter because it was freaking adorable. 

After the movie we went to a grocery store and decided to have a junk food night. We bought icing for the cakes we have in the pantry- they've been in there forever! We also bought Earth Balance Popcorn (we don't have a microwave and don't want one so when we want popcorn, we have to get it from Rachel or buy it already popped- helps cut down on how much of it we eat). Lastly, we  bought chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. I'm not sure how I feel about the ice cream. I don't really eat a lot of sweet stuff and the ice cream seems richer and almost too sweet. It could be the brand. I wouldn't know, I don't get it often enough and when I do, it's typically in blizzard from Dairy Queen, which is almost never. Anway, we took it all home and were going to watch a scary movie to continue day day, but Amanda fell asleep. It was fine.

Our cats were pretty excited that, aside from Amanda going to work and us leaving for the movie, we were home all weekend. Both of them were all over us, Naricsa with her desperate need to lick us, and Thorin's need t curl up under the blankets with us. I generally keep the air conditioner set at 65-70 and since it blows at the sofa, we like to curl up in blankets when we get chilled. Thorin still hasn't managed to figure out that to cover his pee and poo, he simply needs to use the litter. Instead he likes to drag any dirty clothing over and into the litter box or and my personal favorite, he pulls towels down and does the same. He also still hasn't figured out that racing between our feet or cutting us off suddenly while we are walking, is hazardous to his health. He does that weaving between our legs thing too.  One I'm already unsteady with the random moments of vertigo from my meds. Two, if we fall we will get hurt, or squish him. And Three, if he makes me fall, I'm giving him a bath. They were also both into stuff this weekend and I awoke to find the dish we'd put their treat (wet food) in broken on the floor.  It;s a good thing we love them.

Last night I had another wedding nightmare. This time it was realizing that we were only a week away and we didn't have things finished. So, this morning, I decided that I was going to stop waiting on Rachel to let me know when she is ready to show me how to expand a pattern. I can read about it, but I need to see it being done. It finally dawned on me that I could see if there were tutorials on youtube. There are, I'm just not entirely certain it's going to work. The pattern I am using only goes up to size 10-12 (I believe) and I need it to fit size 30-32 (they didn't have it larger, I scoured the pattern drawer it was in). But I have an idea of how I'm going to check to make sure its going to fit.   I am making a bolero for myself and when it is finished, I am making a cloak for Amanda, using a different patter but it needs to be expanded too. But, I think I am going to have to get a style designer ruler because it has the curve edge. Not a problem, Walmart and Joanns both carry them. Oh and I also need to pick up a some sheer, red fabric to add to my dress. I'm doing a simple, temporary overlay that can be easily removed without hurting the dress itself. Basically I'm dressing up the dress for the wedding and dressing it down for more everyday use.    

Food Truck, Brewery, Fat Girl Yoga, House meeting, and date day.

Today, or rather yesterday, was an eventful day. You'll have to excuse me, I'm typing this sans glasses because I left them in the bedroom when I came out to make myself some Sleepytime tea, because I can't get my brain to shut the fuck up. We have to be up early in the morning else I would just take some melatonin and call it good. Anyway, since I can't sleep, I thought I would tell you about this day I had. 

Firstly, I think it was the first day this summer that we have had 100 degree F weather. Words cannot express my disdain for that kind of heat. My happy place it right around 65 degrees F. In fact, The fact that I enjoy it and snicker wickedly while my friends are donning hoodies and blankets while visiting makes all the more pleasurable. 

Secondly, I had a hell of a time staying awake yesterday morning. I even fell asleep reading subtitles on an anime I was watching while drinking coffee. That almost never happens. So, I gave up and went to the bedroom for a nap. I even asked a friend to call me if I wasn't online by a certain time. Thorin was only too thrilled for a morning nap and curled up with me. He was not, however, happy with my new obnoxious alarm. 

During the main part of the day, I chatted with a couple of people via phone and also tried to get some stuff together for the meeting we are having today with a guy in the 1st time home buyer's program. Then my friend Rachel swung by to pick me up, we went to the park and ride to get my car, and headed downtown to pick up Amanda from work. From there we located the Fat Girl Yoga studio and went on a hunt for food. Rachel saw one of the food trucks she's friends with in the food truck association and we pulled over for that. 

I had the Tex Mex Quesadilla because it was the only vegetarian thing on the menu I could eat. The Thai burrito with tofu sounded great, but I have a peanut allergy. It was really good! The food truck was called Crate and they were parked in the Bellwether Brewing Co's parking lot, I guess to help them drum up some more business. 

So, we took our food inside and tried Bellwether's mead. This mead was made of honey, mushrooms, and dandelion root. It was good too, although once Amanda learned that it had mushrooms in it, she liked it a little less. She hates mushrooms. 

Next up was our free introductory class at Fat Girl Yoga. It wasn't a very long class and for all my bodily troubles such as: hurting my knee recently, the herniated disk in my lower back, and fibro, and a recent hysterectomy, I did pretty well. I did everything everyone else was doing, maybe not fully because well, I am fat as fuck, out of shape as fuck, and it was first time. I learned a few things. 1. I need a sports bra because I do not enjoy smothering myself in my double d boobs. 2. I don't really need glasses to do yoga, especially when they want to slide down my nose from the sweat. 3. I like it despite the fact that my body shakes in a way that's kind of nerve wracking and despite that my legs don't like to stay straight. 4. I do better with the on the floor poses than the standing poses. and 5. I could stand up straight when we left to come home, straighter than I have in a long time without leaning one way or the other. Rachel already signed up for 3 more classes. Amanda and I are going to do the same today. There weren't a lot of people, the instructor was really nice and not a twig, and it's a very relaxed, easy going atmosphere.

Later today, after I have slept, and we have gone to our house meeting, we are going on a date. The plan was to go to the movies, but the only movie I want to see- okay there are two- isn't out yet. I want to see Valerian and The City of a Thousand Planets. Guardian's of the Galaxy 2 we will see this Wednesday at the Garland. So, I suppose we will just go to lunch, then run a couple of errands, maybe check out an interesting new grocery store we saw today, and hit up Red Box for a couple of movies. Honestly, I am expecting to hurt more later today than I am hurting now. Yes, I am feeling the aches from doing yoga. I took some Alieve and my tea is has kicked in a little, so I'm off to bed.

Camp Nanowrimo, I fucked up, black, purple, and green sparkles, What We Do in the Shadows

It is Camp National Novel Writer's month again and I signed up to participate. Then we went to stay the night at a friend's house for two nights and I am behind. I am sure I can and will catch up, but tonight, I've cried and haven't been able to really settle. Hence why I am trying to crank out a blog; to force myself to focus. 

The progress on my story is that I am up to 328 pages. I am hoping to finish it soon and start editing. 

I screwed up this weekend. While at my friend's house this weekend I was sitting out back while she and her boyfriend were doing yard work. I felt like a total tool just sitting there and after awhile couldn't take it anymore. So I got up and raked a little bit of the the yard. That was a really horrible, stupid decision. Not only couldn't I not do it for more than ten minutes, but I felt worse when I had to sit down. Then afterward, while I was trying to hide the fact that I had overdone it and was hurting, we watched a comedy routine and I laughed so freaking hard that I hurt myself even more. So I am really sore today and kicking myself. I'm a "get back and up and keep moving" kind of person so I get really angry with myself when I can't do what I need or want to do. 

While we were visiting our friend, she cut my hair for me. I like it. I need to bleach and dye it again. Oh and I found a really nice conditioner that made my hair feel normal again. It hasn't felt right since I had surgery. Amanda decided that we needed to do pedicures, so she did my feet (which are super sensitive and she teased me about it) and painted my toenails dark green with pretty blue-green sparkles. She also painted my fingernails alternating black and dark purple.  

We watched Too Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything and What we Do in the Shadows. I hadn't seen Too Wong Foo except in bits and pieces growing up. It was cute and a lot of fun. Bloody Hell Patrick Swayze is a gorgeous Drag Queen, and so elegant. I felt swept up by his performance, as if she could teach me so much. She's the kind of woman I want to have tea with. 

What we do in the Shadows was so much fun. It's a mocumentary about vampires who are flatting in New Zealand. Fun fact's: Freya of the youtube channel It's Black Friday has a part in it but is unaccredited. The alpha male werewolf in the film is also the voice or Coran on Netflix's reboot of Voltron. I heard him speak and said "Holy crap, is that Coran?" Sure enough it was. 

My Grandparents are home from the rehabilitation center and my Mom is over to help them. My Dad is working but suspects he might have strep throat. My Mom's twin (the evil aunt) is back in the hospital for the second time this week.

Aside from that, I am trying to take it easy. I spoke with my therapist this weekend and told her that I am worried that I am still a little bit manic. I'm still not eating or sleeping as I should be. She wants me to try some relaxation stuff and try to go to bed at the same time every night. We are happy I am writing, but she thinks that I am using writing to escape life now, especially with the panic from being away from it too long. However, when I talked to my Dad about it, he said I was using life to escape writing before so maybe turn about is fair play. He said said if I wasn't writing 6-8 hours a day then I wasn't working full time and probably not that serious about it, so since I am doing that now, and it is what I want to do, then he doesn't really see a problem with it. So I don't know. I think at the moment, I am just going to write when I can and am feeling up to it and worry about creating a schedule later.   

Post Attack Dog appointment, mood fluctuations, anime and Paddington

If you were to remove all the niceties from the conversation I had with my GYN about the trouble I had had with his nurse/receptionist,  it is all my fault and the nurse is frustrated with me for not getting things done when things are so dire. There was also a mention of me being hysterical. 

Excuse me?!!

I did not delay anything. I didn't lie about appointment locations. I got a little snappish and short with her on the phone, but I was never in any way hysterical in person or on the phone. I wanted to march out to the desk and smack the receptionist/nurse and tell her that she'd not seen hysterical. I have been watching my mother's identical twin preform maudlin martyr hysterics all my life. My aunt is so bad that the ICU of a hospital begged us to make her leave. So if that bitch really needs to see hysterics, I can show her hysterics!

Also during the appointment, my GYN decided to do a pap smear as well as the biopsy. Pap smears are no big deal, they are invasive and uncomfortable, but they don't hurt me. The biopsy, on the other hand, hurt like hell. Apparently your GYN can and supposed to numb you for biopsies. Mine did not. So when he forced my cervix open, that ached. The clampy thing, pinched. But the cutting of my uterine lining was s painful, I instantly wanted to vomit, went into a cold sweat, and wanted to cry. As soon as I got home, I ate 4 Advil. 

The next day I had an ultrasound. That went well, but I was still sore and the student tech seemed a bit surprised that I was having an ultra sound right after the biopsy. The tech who was in charge didn't give a shit and I got the feeling that she was more annoyed with my presence than anything. So, I tried to lighten the mood by asking a few questions by what I could see on the screen. I don't think it helped much.

My next appointment is supposed to be my pre-operation appointment. Of course I have to wait until all my lab and text results come back and in the meantime, I have to keep taking a high powered dose triple dose of estrogen to keep me from bleeding. Of course, I am still nauseated, my mood swings are worse, my boobs hurt and wearing a bra is painful, and I am still very weak and sleeping a lot, but if this gets me the damned surgery, I will take deal with it for a time.

Because I have felt like crap and because Amanda doesn't want me going anywhere by myself much less driving (except for yesterday when it was necessary for her to get to and from work), I have been watching a little anime. 

I finished Kamisama Kiss season 2. I really liked it and am hoping for a season 3. I don't know if that is in the works, but I also haven't gone to look yet.

Inu x Boku Secret Service was really good too. It wasn't just a crack, romantic anime, it had some surprising and lovely character growth and development. I really enjoyed it. There is a character obsessed with S&M and I while I don't mind that, he was a little obnoxious and disturbing.

I also have a new favorite kids/family movie- Paddington. I'd wanted a kind of feel good movie, I like bears, and I remembered my Aunt M., mentioning Paddington when I was little, about the time my Cousin C., was born. Curiosity got the better of me and I love it! I enjoyed all the actors and the "hard stare" moment has kind of become a thing. It was also one of my favorite parts of the movie. Because I have been weepy off and on all day, a bit panicky too, I think I might see if Amanda will let me watch it again, or something just as light. I don't really feel up to blood and guts tonight. 

Haunted Humpday

The other night our friend Rachel came over and we put her idea to put my empty gallon pickle jars to use. I have a pickle addiction, but hey it is better than smoking and its a nice 0 calorie snack. (I am currently out and very sad about it.) We made luminaries. 

For mine, I had Amanda draw some bats out on black card stock. I already had a silhouette of a witch, you can find free ones on google. Anyway, I put down a layer of slightly watered down modge podge and tissue paper. Then I laid down the bats and witch after cutting them out, and put down another layer of tissue paper atop them to help lock them into place. I made two other jars, one with parts of a coloring page I had been coloring and then other with netting and stickers, the latter of which is below. 

Rachel did a lovely tree, graveyard, and fence on hers, which I didn't get a picture of. But I did get a picture of Amanda's- which I thought I hadn't when I was telling a friend about it this morning. Turns out I did, yay!

Amanda likes H.P. Lovecraft's Cthulhu and Octopi, so naturally she went with something along those lines. Meet Cthulhu. But it gets better...

He's going to eat the people of Seattle. 

At the moment that is all from the craft-o-sphere. It looks like only three of our pumpkins were good We've got them sitting on our patio for a little sun, to help two of them finish turning orange. Apart from that, I am saving some stories for next week.

However, we have watched two crappy Vampire movies and not too long ago, we watched Conjuring 2.

Neither of the vampire movies were very good, I can't even remember there names. While one was on netflix and the other on Amazon prime, I think both were independant- which is sad because sometimes independent films can be really good. One was supposed to have been campy but ended up just being boring and an excuse for sex. the other had plot holes, was a little difficult to follow in some places, and whatever campiness they were going for, failed. 

The Conjuring 2

I loved this movie. I really enjoyed the first one and I liked Annabelle. I don't know which I would say is better, I think all three each have equal footing. There's some foreshadowing in the beginning that I picked up on that Amanda missed, its so subtle and artfully done. I remember being a little confused and then when something is revealed, I was like, that's was awesome ad very well done. I don't want to spoil the fun of it though, so I'm not going to say what it is. 

That's all for this week!

Inspiring pictures, pickle jars, Pinterest, and bad dreams

I can't remember which wall paper site I found this lovely picture on, but I love it, and more to the point, when I saw it, it screamed Miyuki. Miyuki is the name of a character in a story I have been writing, working on, tinkering with, and and so on for the last several years. I haven't been able to finish it and maybe that's just me being overly critical, or maybe it is that I don't really know where I am going with it, or maybe it just isn't ready to be written just yet. Either way, when I get ready to hunker down and actually work on it again, this will be my desktop background to help keep me inspired.  I typically have something that reminds me or inspires me to keep going when I am working on a specific project. Plus this fulfills a need to go look up pretty pictures every so often. 

Pickle jars. My friend Chris always has pickles available at her house and I like them enough- or rather got hooked on them- that I started buying them in bulk as she does. So now I have pickle jars sitting around. I thought to make them flour and rice containers but that's just a pain in the ass mostly because my hand won't fit in the jar with my measuring cups. I thought, well, I will just pour the stuff out but knowing me, I would just make more of mess and end up wasting stuff. So, I have decided to keep a couple jars to use for craft projects and the rest are going to be recycled. This also cuts down on the amount of glass available for me to break. What can I say, I am clumsy.

Last night I decided I needed some Pinterest time. Only my laptop battery was running out and I was too lazy to get out of bed to fetch the power cord. I was also very tired. So this morning I picked up where I had left off. I have some craft projects I would like to do and am compiling a visual picture list for myself. At the moment most of them are sewing projects. All of the quilts in my house were made by my 3 of my Grandmothers and most of which were hand sewn. They are old and most are older than I am, having been used for at least 2 generations.  Since I treasure them and want to keep them as long as possible, I decided that I need to start quilting myself. This is to carry on the family tradition but also to fill a need to have gothic and witchy quilts fill my house.  Anyway, back to Pinterest, I spent an hour looking at DIY gothic crafts, clothing, some crochet, and coloring pages. I started to doze off, so I decided it was time to move on. 

I had a rather bad dream last night. I dreamt had my boobs removed and reconstructed to prevent cancer. Since my Great Aunt died from breast cancer it's a pretty vivid and valid fear I have. I decided a long time ago to disconnect from my boobs in the event that I turn up with breast cancer and need to have them removed. But the truly upsetting part of my dream was me looking at Grad schools. I went into talk to an adviser about possible schools. Well, I was told that I had to take 20 more credit hours and all at the 200 (sophomore) level to not only graduate with my BA, but also to have any hope of getting into grad school. Okay, this has to be because my history class, the last class I have before I graduate, it a 200 level class and there is a ton of work already. Secondly, I am not happy that I am already starting to have bad dreams and panic attacks within the dreams about Grad school.  I'm not sure what to make of it just yet. I am kind of afraid to think about it. 

Lastly, I am pushing my homework off until this evening. Amanda rented two movies that I need to see before 9 pm tonight. One is Victor Frankenstein with Daniel Radcliffe and the other is Krampus. And given that all I want to do is take a nap, I figure if I watch the movies, take a short nap, and wake up in time to cook dinner before Amanda gets home, I will be doing good. Then I can devote my evening to the bit of homework I'm allocating for myself.   

Lazy day, cats, sewing projects, studying of happier things.

Welcome to homework with Narcisa. She's the reason I'm constantly having to sweep cat hair out from between my computer keys and this was a day she was behaving. Most of the time she tells me that I don't really need to take notes and walks over my pen while I am writing only to sit on my hand. She loves to stand on the mouse pad or lay across the keys or better yet, to knock everything off my desk and steal my pens. She's ever so helpful! The video was taken a couple of weeks ago.

Galen is still sick but we've talked to the vet and he's got another round of antibiotics. He is still eating, drinking, and using the litter box, and even gets excited for treats, so I am hopeful. I went to a candle magic class and a girl there talked about how she rolled a candle in catnip and did a spell for her cat when it was sick. Apparently it worked pretty well. So, yesterday I got out a tea light candle, carved Galen's name and the word Heal into it, sprinkled some catnip and added a few of his hairs to it. I then focused my energy and asked Freyja, if it was to be, if she would be willing to help Galen heal. Then I burned the candle. I thought about doing it this everyday but maybe once a week would be better. 

I have officially finished this school term. Thank the Gods! I'm coming out okay, passing both classes with better grades than I was shooting for. Frankly I am so happy to be rid of that term I could dance. I have a week off and then I start the next term, which is critical thinking in philosophy and the english language- grammar. Both look like lots of intensive homework, but I am okay with that. I am sure I will have a grievance or two later on, but for now I am choosing to be excited for the new classes. 

I have some sewing projects that I wanted to get accomplished. Mostly its shirts and I wanted to start Amanda's and my t-shirt quilt. I even did the design mock ups last night for my shirts. But I don't know that any of my sewing will actually happen this time around. For one, we have to take the car down to Fiona's so her Dad can look at it and see what needs to be repaired. Fiona, Amanda, and I are going to Seattle in the middle of March. More on that in another post. Anyway, we are doing that Tuesday and coming back on Wednesday, and bringing Fiona back with us. Thursday is my birthday and a Full Moon Ritual with our group. I'll probably spend the rest of the week after that getting ready for the next term and I have a feeling it will be extremely slow going. 

I'm having trouble with my period again. I've been having it for the last two months and the day before yesterday it decided to go into overdrive. So I get to wear the big monster pads that are almost like diapers, sit on a towel, and stay close to my bathroom, which is starting to look like a crime scene again. I'm trying to keep it as cleaned up as possible but sometimes, I only have enough energy to wash my hands and get back to the bed or my desk chair. I haven't even had anything to eat today. And I am so very tired. So, I am going to lay in bed today and watch a couple of the movies I've been wanting to watch for awhile and get some reading, of my choosing, done.  And if anyone is wondering, yes, I am eating lots of iron rich food and protein and taking an iron supplement. 

Happy things, maddening things, and well, lots of things!

My Downton Abbey came in the mail today.

Isn't pretty! I know Downton Abbey isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I love it and seasons 1-4 have come into my possession! Okay, I got it in the mail today after ordering it from Amazon on a fantastic deal! I paid 30 something for this set. I posted as much on facebook and my friend Emma demanded I send her a link, which I did. The price has gone up to 40 something, but that's still a really good deal.

I have been very busy as of late. Like I said before, I'd gotten sick. Playing catch up with my homework has pretty much consumed most of my time. I have since learned that the Math lab program is a pain in the ass of dastardly proportions and that I am basically doing the calculus of statistics. I've put in so much time working on the Statistics homework alone. I finally had to set it aside because my context of writing class was suffering. And it wasn't that I didn't know how to do the math homework. I was doing it just fine, it was just taking me 2-3 hours to do one problem and I got booted from the system the 1st time I did it. So when I logged back and found that my answers hadn't saved and I had to do it all over again with a completely new set of data, I kind of freaked. But I did it, only I forgot to put in a negative sign on the answer and had to do it all over again. Finally, I gave up on that problem but things just escalated from there and after three days of endless statistical hell, I just said screw it. I have an appointment with the tutoring center in the morning because apparently there's a software that does this stuff for you, you know so you aren't doing it step by step by hand. I will see how that goes and if this problem doesn't get resolved, I have vowed to fail the class. I simply cannot devote any more fruitless time to it and let the other class suffer. I will simply have to find a different math class to take. 

I really haven't done much else aside from homework and a few errands. I just haven't been feeling very well. We have done a little shopping, granted most of that has been online from Amazon. It was cheaper to get my textbooks for the next term from them and there were a couple of things I haven't been able to find locally. I actually do like to shop locally. 

The night before Thanksgiving Amanda and I were out running a few errands. I needed some winter candles for my altar and we decided to buy Christmas/Yule cards because I just don't think I will have time between now and when they need to be sent out to make them like I usually do. Which is actually a shame because I do enjoy making cards and playing with my embossing gun, paper, and stamps and ribbon. Anyway we found two long tapper candles that are pine scented, two small pillar candles that are cinnamon scented, and an apple cider tall pillar candle. We also found some beautiful non-religious Christmas cards that will work for all of our friends and family. Amanda is working on a little Yule/Christmas poem/letter and I've got all the envelopes addressed with the return address. We are printing out everyone else's address and gluing it on the envelop. 

Unfortunately, that trip to the store was marred by the fact that my Aunt Laura called me. She's my Mom's identical twin. Anyway I got the lecture about calling her more often. I got preached at and she really needs to stop that because A) I know she knows I am pagan because she likes the pagan things I post on facebook, B) She is the biggest hypocrite I have ever met and so many ways, and C) I am happy with the spiritual path I a walk. It is mine, not hers! On top of that this woman lied to me again! She was talking about how she has bone cancer and is going to have surgery and blah blah blah. She insisted on talking to Amanda after that and told her something different. Then she got pissed at Amanda when Amanda accidentally let it slip that we are moving to Spokane instead of back to Kansas. Needless to say that was not a pleasant conversation for us. We hadn't wanted to talk to her but we figured that we ought too, so my Cousin Shi-Chan wouldn't bear the brunt of my Aunt's vicious wrath. Seriously, this is no exaggeration.

I spoke with my Mom after that and my Mom clarified that Aunt Laura doesn't have bone cancer, something just looks odd on an x-ray and she will have to have some tests done. Well, my Mom must have said something to Aunt Laura because I got a heated message on my voice mail from my aunt demanding that I call her back because she NEEDS to talk to me. Until I hear from my Mom that it is in fact bone cancer, I refuse to believe my Aunt. She's screamed bone cancer and all sorts of things before so much that haven't be real or true that when she does come down with something no one knows if she is telling the truth and she is such a rotten person, no one really cares. I know that sounds insensitive, but this woman makes it her life's purpose to terrorize everyone around her. Just this morning when I spoke to my Dad, he was telling me that Aunt Laura had come over to scream at my Mom with a list of demands. She wanted soda, cigarettes, and various pills. As if my parents are the corner drug store. First of all, my parents don't have medicine to give out and they sure as hell wouldn't give it to her. Second, she was screaming so loud and fighting with my Mom that my Dad could hear it over his headphones up in his office. Now, Shi-chan said that her Mom was in a decent mood today but we all know that is because she wants Shi-chan to pay half the bills at the 1st of the month. As soon as Shi-chan does, Aunt Laura will just go back to being a monstrous tyrant. 

Whew and that's all I will say about that.   

Thanksgiving was spent in pain. We went to Amanda's Aunt Lola's for the afternoon. She rented out the clubhouse where she lives, which was awesome! But the metal folding chairs were too low to the ground and me, being a long-legged person, had kind of hard time with that. Plus they really hurt my back. I did switch to another type of chair in the club house for a little bit, but I barely fit in it and it kind of hurt my back in other ways. Aside from the physical pain, I had a lot of fun. I watched part of Frozen with Aunt Lola's granddaughters. We played 99 and I learned how to play card bingo, speed, and Mao (sp?). 

Later Thanksgiving night we decided to go visit a friend. But first, because we thought she was taking a nap, we stopped by Hasting's to get a coffee and look around. We found a few Christmas/Yule presents there, which was cool and it wasn't very busy. After we went there we went to visit our friend and watched a few episodes of RWBY with her. It was really good and I want to finish the show. 

I have also learned that not only is a friend having trouble with her husband (he told her he wanted a divorce on her birthday and this is after she found out he was cheating on her) but that she may have lupus. She and I haven't always been friends, there was a huge mess when she left my cousin Tony- as she was right to do but I didn't really know why she did at the time and on top of that, it was the way in which she did. That aside, we have since become friends, she is a wonderful mother, and has been a great friend to my cousin Shi-Chan. More than that, despite the fact that she and Tony had an ugly fall out, she still brings their kids over to see the rest of the family, which she really doesn't have to do. She never had a problem with the rest of us just Tony. Anyway, I am really scared for her and pretty much want to smack the shit out of her husband because he just doesn't care. He still wants a divorce and has said something awful to her son, something that pretty much made me cry a little for him. He is quite honestly the kindest, sweetest little boy I have ever met, well mannered, and so loving and that man just ripped his heart out. It is disgusting and my friend doesn't really know what to do. She will probably go ahead with the divorce, what else can she do, and then try to figure out where to move her kids and herself. Either she'll stay in the town she is in or she will move back to Wichita. As much as we all don't want to kids to have to change schools in the middle of the year, it might be easier on them if they are closer to family that can help their mother and who love them to pieces. 

Last night Amanda and I cuddled in bed and watched Snowpiercer after I finished some homework. It was pretty good. We then watched a few episodes of American Dad before deciding we needed toast and Coco. We got a little sucked into a movie on the Hallmark channel her mother was watching. It had cats in it. 

Today I have managed to get a little more of my homework done, but really I am just overwhelmed and in need of a couple of days without homework period. I just need to crochet and watch movies or read something for fun, something that's not a text book, and I need to get some sewing started... except I can't do that until Cathy gets her stuff out of the dining room, or at least gives me some room to sew. 

But for now, I am going to get back to homework before laying down for bed. I have to make sure I am up at a normal, decent time, so I can be ready for my tutoring appointment. Since I've been sick, my sleeping schedule has been a mess. I've been getting up around 2 pm and that's not okay. I will feel better when I get back to a normal routine and rhythm. Seriously, I almost cried over the anime I used to watch but haven't in a long time. That's just silly.  

Belated Haunted Humpday # 8

You'll all have to forgive me for being late with this Haunted Humpday post. This is the last week of this term and I am finishing up homework. I have also been sleeping a lot more than I would like but I will talk about that in another post. 

This week I am going to talk about two movies and a little craft from last year. For our anniversary, Amanda took me to Dracula Untold. I loved it! I really liked the cast and the story, the effects, everything! Plus, it sets up the story line for future monster movies. I read an article somewhere, can't remember where, saying that someone was going to do reboots of all of the famous monster movies. I am excited! Especially if Dracula will be in them! 

Amanda and I also watched a movie a few nights ago called Devil's Pass. It's horror film about some film students who want to make a documentary about what happened to a group of people who were lost in the Ural mountains in Russia. It's really interesting and actually a little scary. We enjoyed it. 

 Amanda and I sort of collect Monster High Dolls. Last year for Halloween, we made a house for them out of boxes and various things because they are freaky fabulous and needed to be part of the decor! 

It's nothing special or spectacular, but it was really neat for what it was. We ended up giving the house to one of Amanda's younger cousins so she could have it for her Monster High Dolls. 

The Kindle, Vampire Academy 'the movie', and I have been so sick

Dimirti and Rose

The last couple of days have been so weird and hectic! We've run so many errands, had to go back and forth between Post Falls, Coeur d'Alene, and Hayden, and back, and if you can believe it, we still have more errands to run! And despite our best efforts to make the best of everything, we've really just had a couple of shitty days.  But there is some good news, yay!

Firstly, I ran out and got Vampire Academy (the movie) the day it hit stores. I've read all of the books, loved them, and couldn't wait to see the movie. Besides, there was a tons of hype and given that the story line is really good, that the main character actually grows and learns from her mistakes, and you know, does something other than mope around, I thought this movie would really be something special. There just aren't a lot of truly good, quality Vampire movies and I really think there should be. Anyway, on to the point. This movie was one of the biggest disappointments. If not for some of the actors, I almost think I would have returned the movie. The movie was the first book on speed (the pacing was way too fast), they told/explained way too much, you never really got to see characters develop, and it felt way too scripted. You couldn't even get a chance to connect with the characters. I spent most of the movie screaming "What the fuck"?! The only thing they got right, was Dimitri (thankfully because he's my favorite character), and Rose's attitude.  They really blew the pooch on this and I will be surprised if they get a second film. Which is terribly unfortunate because this story is a million times better than Twilight and the Twilight films were actually done well.  How the hell could Hollywood slight Rachelle Mead and us, her fans like this? What fucktards!

(The next part is something that is something that most people will probably find gross, but I'm not going to skirt around this issue. I think more people should know about this and need to understand what women like me, who have this problem, have to go through. But if you find that you don't care or don't want to read it, skip on down.)

Secondly, I know I have mentioned that I have PCOS (Polyscystic Ovarian Syndrome) and I might have mentioned that with that sometimes comes menorrhagia- menorrhagia is heavy menstrual bleeding. I am sort of on a marginally regular cycle but this time the cramps are so terrible that I've been nauseated and the bleeding is so heavy, I've basically been hemorrhaging and it's been going on for the last four days. The last time I went to the ER for this, nothing was done. So I am reluctant to ever go back. So I called my doctor because she is the only one who has actually tried to help me with this. She gave me a kind of strong or high powered birth control in which I have to take three of "you are not to bleed during this time' pills a day for seven days and then stop. We've tried this before and it's shut me off and kind of restarts the whole system. The draw back is that I am pretty much knocked on my ass for seven days. I delayed taking them today so I could get some homework done, but honestly, I don't know if it was worth it. I had to have Skoora read over all of my discussion forum posts for class just to make sure that they actually made sense. But the worst part of all of it, is that I've been so weak today I haven't been able to do much, I just want to sleep, and this is the first time all day that I've really had any mental clarity. Trying to read my text books earlier was awful, it was like the words bounced off my brain and refused to be comprehended. Most of the time, I've been stuck in the bathroom or laying in bed with the heating pad and Yoda-chan to cuddle. And I still have homework to do, peer critiques to write and I want to give the people in my critique group the best reviews possible. 

I am not the only one in the house who has been sick. Galen, my demon kitty, has been having some tummy issues. At first we couldn't figure out why and then, a few minutes ago while Skoora was on the phone, I realized that we had to change the cat's food until we could afford the good stuff. Duh! No wonder we've had hairballs and the other ick, it was like we had them on grill chicken and then suddenly they had deep fried chicken, all the grease would make anyone ill. That's okay, we're getting the proper food tomorrow.

Well, on to the good news. I finally broke down and bought a Kindle. Okay, it's a refurbished Kindle Fire, but it's pretty. It came in the mail today and I've sort of been playing with it. Mostly I've tried to stay awake long enough to look through some of the apps. I did, however, manage to get facebook, goodreads, my e-mail, the weather, and a couple of games on it. But I don't want all of that stuff running all the time, so I've got a few tutorials open on how to sign out of stuff or shut certain apps off so they aren't running in the background all the time, because mainly I got the thing for reading. By the way, not having a smart phone or a tablet before, I had no idea how many apps there are. I found an app for grammar, some for learning different languages (Skoora likes and knows a little bit of German and my friend Emma speaks Swedish, both languages are of interest to me), found one for astronomy-or rather finding constellations in my location's night's sky, oh and a couple of words games. It's going to be fun to play with this stuff. But that will have to wait. I am just too tried, need to take some medicine, and lay down.  

   

Adult Swim is tripping out!

I don't know what the hell is going on with Adult Swim. For the last 10-15 mins they've shown nothing but psychedelic animal/nature stuff and now they are just showing strange nature stuff with some random people. It's very strange and I wouldn't mind if except there doesn't seem to be a point. Perhaps that is the point. Of course I wouldn't know about this if I was sleeping.

For some reason tonight, I am just wired in a weird insomniac way. I don't even feel tired. I've done my laundry, run the dishwasher, folded laundry, and watched two movies. I have one more left to watch before I return it to Redbox. I've even wiped down the kitchen counters. On top of that, I think I was bit by an earwig. Or maybe I was stung? I am so grossed out about them in general that I don't really want to go look that information up for fear of seeing a picture of one. And this, of course, happened while I was finishing up a movie. I flicked it off of me but I don't know where it went.

I know that these disgusting little things are a naturally occurring... thing, but that doesn't mean that I have to like them. They creep in through cracks in the front door and in through the dryer exhaust vent. Eww! Dare I say it, I think I like the occasional jumping spider over them.

Oh well, in half an hour I will be dressed and heading out to Starbucks. Apparently they open at 5 am and since the sun is coming up and it's currently 4:27 am, I figure a cup of coffee won't hurt. I'll probably read until the caffeine wears off and then happily crash for a couple of hours.  

Aurora Colorado and the Domestic Terrorist Holmes.

It's taken me awhile to get to working on this particular blog because I've just been so angry and so sad. I don't know anyone from Aurora, Colorado but I really, honestly feel for those who were in that theater the night that Holmes decided to shoot the place up. Frankly there was no reason for it and I absolutely do not think Holmes deserves any sympathy. I do not believe he is crazy. I think he knew exactly what he was doing all along and I will address all of that as I go.

You should probably know that my Father worked in corrections for 30 years. He took me to work with him a lot. I went to school with some of the clients or kids of his clients. Furthermore I have family who happen to be criminals themselves. I'm not a trained professional in dealing with criminals but I have been exposed to them, been around them and their mentality, and seen their tricks enough to know a little something about them. And of course, anytime I have a question about something, I ask my Dad who was a professional and a damned good one.

First order of business, the media is having a fucking field day with this. I only know this because I happen to live in a house where the TV is always on and almost all of that time it is on a news channel. Whether I want to or not if I pass by or through or happen to sit in the living room, I'm going to catch something from one of the news stations. Now, I know that each news corporation is affiliated with a political party. I'm not stupid you can tell in the way the news anchors/journalists talk or discuss certain issues. One particular journalist for ABC made a big boo boo and I personally think he should be fired for it. (I don't know if he has or not, I haven't gone to look and see, this is just my personal opinion.) He didn't do his job and actually research Holmes. Instead he went looking for someone with the same name on the Tea Party registry and then told the nation that Holems was a member of the Tea Party when in all reality Holems is a registered Democrat. Bad ABC man, bad! How about you do your fucking job instead of trying to shove your political agenda at people.

Second, is this business of how Holems looked in his first courtroom appearance. Really people get off the hair color. There are plenty of nice people out there who dye their hair wild colors. And what's was with all that discussion and long drawn out conjecture of his sanity by his facial expressions. Are you kidding me, if you can't tell that that ass hole was coming down off the adrenaline high after all that hell he caused and was simply bored, then you are just an idiot.

And what's with all this 'he's a suspect' nonsense? The police caught him in the act, in full riot gear. He told the police that his apartment was rigged up with bombs. He had a detailed plan and they have the evidence of all the weapons and ammunition that he bought. And by the way, in case you didn't know he had explosives in his apartment an AR-15 assault rifle, a Remmington 12 gauge shot gun, a .40 Glock, and like I said he was in full riot gear plus he had smoke bombs. This man clearly went to the theater with the intent to hurt and kill people but not get hurt himself. He is guilty! And further more I will say what no one else will say, the fucker is a Domestic Terrorist. There is no question about it. He's ruined a much anticipated film for all those hurt. He's made people (not all people but a lot) afraid to go to theaters.  I'm not saying he doesn't have a right to a fair trial, I'm not saying he doesn't have a right to fair representation. What I am uber pissed about is that they are trying to get him off on an insanity plea. Um, no. If the fucker can plan all this shit out, looks bored in the court room, then he can carefully plan out a way to make himself look crazy and personally I don't think he did a good job of it.

Personally, I think they should speed up the trial instead of dragging it out. I think that he should be put in a bullet proof vest and put in a makeshift theater in jail and shot at every day to give him a taste of his own medicine. I also think he should have to work his ass off in jail doing the most disgusting of jobs to pay off the medical bills and funeral costs of all those he hurt and killed. And I think should he get the death penalty if found guilty (which he is) and he should be shot to death by firing squad.

Am I being mean, probably. Do I have any tolerance for this shit, fuck no. But let's move on to something a little lighter shall we.

Someone put up a note on facebook to be 'liked' and 'shared', I think it was the parent of one of the people in the theater that night but don't quote me on it, saying that it would be nice if Christian Bale would come and show the kids and people that even though there are monsters, there are heroes too. Other things were said but I can't seem to find it at the moment to say what all it was. Anyway, I really liked it and hoped that by sharing it that it would get to who needed to get to and Mr. Bale might see it and go. Well my girlfriend's best friend brought out the Troll in herself and said it would be good but she didn't think that Christian Bale was a good role model because he assaulted his sister and mother. What the fuck?! I had seen something awhile back about there being something going on between he and his mother and sister but I never heard that he actually assaulted them. She said that she read something on it but she didn't say where or anything like that and since it was some time ago I wasn't going to press her on it.

So I went and researched this and read through about five or six articles. They all said the same thing. Christian Bale was upset, he'd just lost his friend Heath Ledger, his mother and sister were verbally insulting his wife and he yelled at them because he couldn't remove himself from the situation due to paparazzi outside the hotel. He brushed passed his mother and she got hissy and called the police. He went to the police of his own free will the next day and spent all day in questioning and NO charges were made. Of course I couldn't tell her that but the fact that I had gone and done the research myself was all I needed. Plus if she ever brought it up again I had that information and where to find it to 'attempt' to shut her up.

So when there was news of Mr. Bale going to Aurora to visit the victims and funerals of the victims I made a point to share that news and my thanks to him on facebook. I know he won't see it but still it matters to me and even more so to those who were hurt and lost loved ones that he came. He didn't have too but he did. That's all that matters, not what did or didn't happen with his family months or years ago. As you can imagine my girlfriend's best friend probably wasn't happy but at least she kept her mouth shut this time.

Well, I've said all I am going to say about this for now. I know it was a lot all crammed into one post. 

Almost hugging the computer vents...

Today I am so cold! It's 25 degrees F outside and I'm sure not much warmer in my house. My girlfriend's parent's like to keep the place near frigid. I've got a blanket and a coat on and the chill is creeping through and digging it's claws into me. Of course it might have something to do with the fact that I took a shower today and haven't been able to get warmed up from that. And it won't help when we take one of my girlfriend's little cousin's to the lake to walk on the boardwalk and see the Christmas lights in a bit. Since we've had company all weekend I haven't done my homework but I will get to it tomorrow.

Also, I went from a place that had lots of wind to a place that's suffering air stagnation. WTH?!

I've been watching movie trailers today, just to see what's going to be coming out and what has come out that I need to look for in the video stores- it looks like we are going to have to get netflix again. Deciding to be annoying, I spammed my facebook page with trailers of the ones I want to see. I figure if people can spam me with endless liberal propaganda, then I can post movie trailers. I am thinking of spamming them with some classic rock like Bad Company, Kansas, and Blue Oyster Cult. For some reason, I'm just in a classic rock mood. I think that may be because I'm missing my cousin Sheena so much. Everything would be better if she could be here to hang out with.

Yesterday I learned that my Grandma Summers died via text message from my Dad. She was technically my Foster Grandmother. She was my Mom's foster mother to be even clearer. I wasn't very close to her, she said some things that really upset my mom when my little brother died so Mom didn't really let me go over and see her and Grandpa. It's just as well, one of my mom's foster sisters is a total bitch and looks down on all the foster kids Grandma Summer's took in. Personally I think she's just pissed because her name is Petra.

Lost my drive, went for a drive...

While I am sure there are plenty of back country roads that look like this here in Kansas, this was not one that I drove on tonight. Rather, I live in a city and so I was riding the main streets and even the highway just to get out of the house. And sometimes it's just nice to go for a short drive despite the crippling gas prices. It's up to $3.59 where I live and I suppose I shouldn't complain since it is probably higher elsewhere.

I used to go on drives a lot. In fact one of the neat things about going to college in a different town, when I was going to one in a different town, was the drive home at night, after class let out. It took me half an hour to get home and I would sing along to music or think about stories, or just think. It was a nice bit of uninterrupted 'me' time.

I've been losing my drive to do things more and more lately. I don't really know the cause of it. Could be depression. Still, even when I was horribly depressed a couple of years ago I still managed to do things everyday, things I don't do anymore. I used to write every day, sing, read, and even do little craft like things. Now I only seem to have the energy to sit and watch movies or sleep. That might have something to do with my back bothering me. It might also have something to do with feeling endlessly stuck, or perhaps all of those things combined. Either way, I don't like this current 'me'. I want to get out and get on with things.

Next week I start another quarter of classes so there will be less free time to sit and mope around. I've also been looking for possible places for my girlfriend and I to move to. We've been to a couple of places to look at them and ask all the necessary questions and there are a few nice possibilities. I've also been looking for work again and in turn, doing the exercises for my back so it doesn't hurt so much. My back is still giving me a lot of grief. I can't go to the store and shop for half an hour without hurting bad enough to take a pain pill when I get home. I've got a long way to go with my back but I am at least happy that I can walk and move around on my own.

These last couple of days my back has been a bit worse than usual so I've been sitting on ice packs and resting, catching up on Torchwood. I would try to write but like I said, I don't have much drive to do anything much any more. I am now ready for season 3 of Torchwood. I really love this show and recommend it to anyone who wants to see a good scifi/drama who doesn't mind male on male action. There's not tons of male on male, but what there is, is scrumptious!

And I have also been watching a show my cousin wanted me to watch called Weeds. That's like watching a never ending train wreck. I think after seeing that show, even if I wasn't the daughter of a corrections officer, I still wouldn't sell drugs, use them, or have anything to do with them. It's just bad news all around. Still, the show is entertaining in some respects. I don't have a favorite character, I pretty much think everyone in the show is a shit.

I also saw The Forbidden Planet last night. Well, I caught the last half hour of it. Apparently, according to the host of TMC, The Forbidden Planet had little meddling from the studio or whoever meddles in the affairs of movies because they didn't think scifi movies were that big of a deal. But when The Forbidden Planet hit the theaters and did so well, it kind of paved the way for other scifi movies. I thought it was a neat little fact.

Hello again, hello, just called to say hello... *facepalm* Had a very strange day.

Yes, the beginning of the title of this post are lyrics from a Neil Diamond song, why it's stuck in my head, I haven't the foggiest clue. I don't particularly like Neil Diamond but maybe that's just one more to add to the list of annoyances for the day. The reason for the explosion comes later.

Today I awoke like any other day and poked and prodded to wake up the GF. We had to go to the store for a little food and some cleaning supplies. As it turns out if I don't eat a little something in the mornings I'm rather cranky until I do. Also for some reason drinking water before I've had food in my stomach makes me nauseous. Don't know why but it does.

So, I managed to get the GF up and dressed. We had to check her bank account but our internet was down. Annoyance number one but easily worked around. We hit up a nearby ATM and found out that her check had finally posted and went to... where else Wal-Mart. Now I know a lot of people don't like Wal-Mart but I do, I can afford what they sell and come out with more than if I went anywhere else in town.

As per usual on a Saturday afternoon, there were a ton of people. Crowds generally tend to make me a little nervous and lots of people getting in my personal bubble bother me. Most annoyingly are those awkward moments when someone in front of you won't get the hell out of the way or make up their mind on what they want when all I want to do is get what I want and get out. So that was a little annoying. However, I saw I happened to see a local TV Station Journalist in the juice isle. I didn't say anything to her or acknowledge her, but it was cool seeing her in person.

Finally after getting out of the hellish store and fighting afternoon traffic in and around New Market Square, we got home, put away the groceries, and I finally got a load going in the dish washer. Then I made some snack food, something fast and simple, and conned the GF to participate in my problem solving homework. Basically I had to watch half a movie with a friend and use certain problem solving techniques to generate solutions/ideas or rather use ideas for several different endings. We watched the movie Black Swan. It is well worth the watch! I've followed Natalie Portman's movies for a couple of years now, she's one of my favorite actress's to watch, and this role was pretty awesome. She certainly took me for a ride. This movie will certainly be added to the list of movies for me to buy and add to my collection.

However, as good as the movie was and me getting my assignment done was, I got a call from my mother. Mom had a really annoying demand and I had to tell her no for today. There just wasn't any way that I could do it. I can take her another day but today was just bad timing.

So with the trip store, a growing head ache from new medication, being hassled by my mother, and knowing that I still had a house to clean, laundry to do, and more homework to be done, I got frustrated and did the one thing I hate doing, I cried. Ever just get to the point where you just need to? Well, that was me today and it annoyed me because I already had a head ache.

But my day was far from over and won't be for a good four or five hours. The best part is yet to come. As usual I go to my parent's house when the GF goes to work so I can do homework or play Guild Wars with Dad and not be home alone. My parent's set me to the store and on some errands for them. *head desk* And there were tons of people at the grocery store in their neighborhood!

I got the errands ran, ate dinner with my parent's, and talked with them for a little bit before my back started to hurt. Dad has a migraine so I doubt we will be playing Guild Wars tonight. So I came downstairs to get into a writing mood and reply to some e-mails. Mom wanted some green beans and here is where the explosion comes in. Mom and Dad's stove burner knobs are different from mine. Dad had dishes stacked up on the stove and me, just doing what I was asked, wasn't paying attention. I started cooking to green beans with a little butter and salt like Mom likes them and came in to wake up my lap top and then not one minute later... boom! Only it more like the sound of a plate hitting the floor. I thought maybe Mom's cat Felan had knocked something over. I went to investigate and found part of a plate on the floor. I looked at the stove and low and behold, I'd turned on the wrong burner, the beans weren't cooking, and there was a shattered plate all over the stove. I basically blew it up! Then my dumb-ass self went to pick up the piece on the floor and burned my fingers. Changed my mind about that quick.

Got everything cleaned up and taken care of, cooked the beans for mom, apologized to Dad for the plate, and now, I'm pretty worn out. I think I may end up watching something.