Busy, first time in a long time, and friend and family problems.

There were so many pine needles! I raked the crap out of them for spring clean up... and then deeply regretted it that evening and for the next few days. Amanda helped, but she did most of the stone laying and some of the mulch work. Her mom did some too. 

After an unintended hiatus, I think I am back, at least for the foreseeable future. Today is the first day in over a month that I have actually opened my laptop and did anything on it. I've had it in my bedroom, the living room, and in the office with the intent of getting online to read blogs, check e-mail, and look up supplies for home improvement and decoration projects. Only I never did and for a number of reasons. 

The chief reason was that we were intermittently busy. On weekends we had shopping days, food prep hours, and had some company. We also had a couple of events. During the week, when I felt up to it, I was cleaning and watching anime and or TV shows on Hulu. 

The second reason was that my depression monster had been raging almost with a vengeance. With the drop in pain management from the one medication made the pain from flare ups higher and more intense, and more debilitating, which in turn made things harder emotionally and mentally. To top it off my Mom threw some stuff at me one day that was upsetting and then a couple of days later, before I'd had a chance to really explain my concerns and feelings about it to her, she called for a third time to let me know that her identical twin, my Aunt Laura, was in the hospital with renal failure. She wanted to let me know that if it came to it, that she would donate a kidney to her sister and wanted to know my opinion on the matter. As much as I don't like this Aunt most of the time, I don't want her to die. Further, I told my Mom that it doesn't matter what my opinion on her donating is, its her body and her sister, and I would never tell her what she could/should or couldn't/shouldn't do. That is her decision. Well, after getting off the phone with her and then processing everything, I got a little pissed and very worried. And then with those two matters plus the pain, some other things, and already raging depression, I fell into a horrible downward spiral. Things were so bad that Amanda literally said "you're drowning in this and I don't know what to do". 

But then, they got even worse. I had a horrible day one day, called Amanda at work, broke down and took a whole nerve pill at her insistence. I have been avoiding taking that med because I know it is addictive and I don't want it to become a crutch. I wanted to learn to work through and deal with stuff on my own. She also wanted to me to call a friend and see if someone could come over or if I could ask her parents to come up and sit with me. That's so much easier said than done. I have such a hard time asking for help. It takes so much to for me to tell people certain things. Surface stuff is easy. Occasionally I vent here and sometimes I vent a little to friends, but I know that people have their own problems and while I know my friends might want to help, I feel so guilty about adding to their stress. Even when I am internally screaming and hurting while giving a friend a hug, the guilt is so stifling, I just say, I'm fine or okay.

  Anyway, the medicine evened me out. For a few hours but then by the time we'd returned home from out D&D game, I was exhausted and the medicine had worn off and I was quite frankly just done. I told Amanda I was tried of fighting the fibro, the depression, the low back pain, my weight, my family, sometimes my friends, and just everything. She wanted to know if she should take me to the hospital and I told her I didn't know. Instead, she cuddled me and helped me get ready for bed. 

A day or so later, I can't really remember, we went to a friend's. I wasn't feeling that great, but I was trying and had decided to leave all my upsets at home and try to enjoy the day. Things were going well and then a friend asked me a couple of hours in, how I was doing. The moment I opened my mouth to reply said friend turned their head away and began talking to someone else. Amanda was just as surprised and almost as upset as I was and she took my hand. I think if she hadn't been there and we hadn't car pooled, I would have left. That is the very thing that reinforces and cements the core belief that I'm not worth anything and don't matter. Somehow, I shoved all that down and made it through the rest of the night. But it is still bothering me. A lot of things are. 

However, I have since seen my therapist. She gave me a back up person in her office to call if I can't get a hold of her and we talked about some other things. Its a work in progress.  I also called and spoke to my Dad for a couple of hours. We talked about a lot of things and after I felt loads better. He also was a bit frustrated with my Mom and assured me that no doctor would consent to my mom donating a kidney with her health the way it is (which I figured and others thought also) but that Aunt Laura isn't even eligible because she has M.S. So while that's upsetting in and of itself, the somewhat selfish silver lining is that I won't have the possibility of losing my Mom due to this instance. 

On to cooler stuff!

Meet Yukiko, our Japanese Snowblossom tree. We've been working on our front and back yards as well as the inside of the house. I will share the inside of the house when it is more cohesive, we're almost there but not quite. So back to the front and back yards. 

This is our strawberry patch. Amanda built the raised garden bed herself and planted the marigolds n the corners. She has since added a pot in the middle with a lily. She's also going to build one or two more of the raised bed for our veggies and I am going to take one of the house doors we found in the garage and make an herb wall. 

This is the majority view of the back yard. I'm not sure what we're doing with the large metal beds, that part of the yard doesn't get sun. So shady place flowers until I can make my meditation spot? Along the fence we're planting some flowers and some vegetables. The gravel part will be raked clean, weeds killed, and will eventually have flagstone or concrete pavers laid to make a patio. 

This is the other part of the back yard. You can't see the drive way and raised garden bed, they were behind me. What you can see is the garage and the small gated section behind it. We are thinking about clearing out that area behind the garage for pumpkins. We don't know if the small deck was supposed to become part of a larger project, but we might break that apart to and use the wood to build something else. I've decorated the side of the garage with wind chimes, and couple of bird feeders, and some yard decor from the Dollar Tree and what we had left over from our apartment. 

Amanda bought me this fairy solar light and I picked up the Peter Rabbit watering can from a Thrift store. I planted some daisy seeds in it. I have a couple of other pots I've planted some pansies in, but I need to get more pots or take some more of the yard for flowers. 

Lastly, I leave you with the kitties. Miss Narcisa took over my spot in the bed one night and presided over it like the head of the Black Cat Yakuza she is.

And here is Thorin, lazing atop the cat tree in the sunlight, leaning against the window frame. This is also a tiny teaser for my living room. Amanda calls my design scheme for the room "elegant nightmare". I just hope the end result lives up to it. So far there's a little elegance and a few somewhat creepy yet beautiful pictures. 

Coming soon... Craft projects.

Therapist, doctor, and The Goblin

Just to see if it worked, I added the Dramafever channel on my Roku and then perused the selection. When I stumbled on Goblin the lonely and Great God, I thought it looked really cute and decided it would be the show I tested to see if I could watch. Yep, I can watch stuff from Dramafever for free but it has a lot of repetitive and obnoxious commercials. The show is really cute by the way and if you like Korean Dramas or want to try one out, I think this one is going to be a good choice. 

Moving on. I went to my doctor's appointment this week. The verdict is that we are going to try me on another antidepressant medication and if I do well with it, she is going to put me on a weight loss medication in a month to get the ball rolling. I am able to begin exorcising but it has to be low impact and nothing that's going to work my core too much, but only for a little while longer. My doctor just wants to make sure everything is nice and healed up and that I don't aggravate the herniated disk in my lower back. When we were talking about my depression she mentioned that she thinks I have some PTSD from the whole mess with my cancer scare and the crap I went through with the gyno and getting the surgery. I am still having a hard time wrapping my head around all of that and now I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the notion of my having PTSD. 

So I talked to my therapist yesterday about it. She also thinks I have PTSD and not just from that but from a few other things. But I didn't that was possible. PTSD is for people who have been attacked or abused and most certainly for combat veterans. My therapist said yes to all of that but it's like there are certain type or varying degrees of PTSD. I talked to my Dad about it and he is of the impression that to say I have PTSD cheapens what happens to people like combat verterans- which was kind of how I felt in a way. He said that yes, I had had some trauma but it wasn't anything like what veterans have experienced. But on the other hand I am struggling what that too. It;s hard to explain. I'm not playing a victim card because I don't do that, I think I am too self depreciating to have that sort of thinking. However, in a lot of ways, I feel as if what I experienced and dealt with was just dismissed as nothing. And THAT is something that I am really having a problem with. That is something that I can't just keep sucking it up and getting on with my life about. I've been doing that for too long and its not okay. 

One of the assignments I had this week from my therapist was to write down what my depression monster says. So I did and these are the things I think whether I want to or not and more than that, these are things that get reinforced a good deal of the time, sometimes every day. 

You are worthless- the proof is in everything.

You have no right to complain and even if you did, no one really cares.

People like Amanda more than you, you know it in how they look at you and react.

People have already written you off.

You have no value. (this is even more so since you had to get a hysterectomy)

You will never be anything.   

You can work as hard as you want to lose weight, health mentally and emotionally, and even physically but it's not going to matter. 

You will never have control of anything in your life every again.

You are alone because no one will ever choose you and it doesn't matter how willing you are to jump up and help someone else. 

Why try to come out of your shell, no one will like the real you anyway. 

The most frustrating thing is that I know at least some of this isn't true but these thoughts run through my head all the time. I can't stop them and no matter how much I try to reason with myself that its just the depression, its really hard to shake this shit. 

Anyway, yeah, I'm having trouble a lot of this stuff but I am hoping the change in meds will help take the edge off so I can start getting back on my feet a little. 

Other than that, I have been down the last two days with a migraine. I ended up taking some meds and sleeping a little yesterday but then Amanda and I stayed up all night watching a scary movie. It was actually a little freaky so we had to watch something light so we could go to bed but ended up watching several episodes of something and then I had to take her to work. Oops!

Of explosions, icky tummies, and trying not to fuck it up.

Well this alchemist has apparently hopped on the struggle bus and can't seem to drive it up and over the hill so she can coast down the falling action and resolution of her story. I'm in the final stretch. The main bad guy (who has been there in spirit and now in the flesh) has left his "Doll face" a nice surprise in her house and has come down her stairs. There was fire and then an explosion. But I claw for every single word. But I'll come back to that in a few moments. 

We never got to any of the writer's panels this weekend. Yesterday E. was really sick from Jet Lag. Today we went to Amanda's parent's house early to do all the laundry that we were backed up on. We have a small washer and dryer. They have a full sized one. Anyway, I ended up falling asleep to something Francis was watching, the British Wallander. I awoke to Midsomer Murders. I haven't seen much of the former and what I have seen was mostly the Swedish version. Of the latter, I really enjoy Midsomer Murders. It is something that we can watch with Amanda's parents that we can all agree on. I actually enjoy watching the British shows with Francis. Speaking of Francis, he was giving me shit today. I reminded him that I know where he sleeps.

Our friends Rachel and her boyfriend came over for dinner and we played a couple of games afterward. It fun and really nice. However, Amanda's been sick tonight. I'm really starting to worry about her. She'd thrown up in the middle of the night several times. I want to know if it really is heart burn or something else. I, on the other hand, have had issues of another icky tummy nature tonight. Not sure what that is about, unless I'm having trouble with milk. I had some today. Or maybe it was the deli food we had for lunch, either way, my stomach hasn't been happy with me. 

Back to the story struggles. Last night before another painful night in bed, I made myself a note:

"GET THE BONES OUT THEN THE MUSCLES< NERVES AND FLESH LATER"

That's so much easier said than done. But really, this draft is the bones. My editing process later will be the muscles and nerves because I will be editing and a friend will be reading it and I'll ask her for suggestions. Then another run through will be the flesh. But I suppose I'm afraid I'm going to fuck up the bones hence why I am struggling. I also don't want to screw up the bad guy. It is a fanfiction so it's not that important, but it still means something to me, so in a way, it matters. Still, I am excited and ready for this story to end. I'm not complaining or bitching, just kind of venting. I'm also writing a blog because some times if I write something else for a few minutes and then return to what I was working on- that's giving me trouble- I can pick it back up again and make some progress. 

House work, follow the music, dark skies, and Absolutely Fabulous, Into the Badlands, and Preacher

We've been watching T.V. a little more than we usually do lately. I haven't felt up to going out and doing too much and sometimes, I just want to sit and be pulled into something fun to forget the crap I'm dealing with. So with that said, I thought I would mention a couple of the things we've been viewing. Amanda and Fiona have been watching a lot of South Park. I tend to put my headphones on for most of that to work on writing. However, I did notice that Absolutely Fabulous was on NetFlix and since I used to watch it on BBC America when I lived with my parents years ago- and loved it- I wanted to see it again. Amanda and I watched a couple of episodes tonight. Great fun! 

Well, Preacher is a disappointment. I had high hopes because Amanda has been reading the comic at work on her lunch break. A coworker brings it in for her. From what she told me, it sounded awesome. So, wanting to check out the show- because I like Dominic Cooper- we watched it. I had even higher hopes for it when I saw Seth Rogen's name in the credits. WTF?! Really? Not only does this stupid show have me twanging as if I have been around my Mother's family from Oklahoma, but it sucks. Maybe if I hadn't heard anything about it prior I might be happier with it, but no. Some of the people in the damned town remind me of some members of my family and I don't need any reminders of those people. We've given up and Amanda and I are going to see if the comics are at the library so I can read them and get the true story. 

Into the Badlands, was a show I saw advertised when I was down visiting my parents some time ago. My Mom saw it and said it was really good and that I would enjoy it. Last night our friend Rachel was over for dinner and said that I would really like it too. I'd already put it on my Netflix queue so we watched the first episode. There was some chatter in the background so I didn't catch everything but what I did see, I really liked. It's very intriguing, has some nice martial arts, and well, a couple of actors I like. Amanda and I are planning to re-watch the first episode soon and continue on. 

Today was a lovely day. Nice and overcast. We had some sleet and rain, it was chilly too. I opened the curtain and got all excited when I saw the darker clouds rolling in from the west. Needless to say it made me happy. We also seem to have a squirrel running about who doesn't have a full tail. It's kind of cute. 

Fiona went home today, she left while I was napping. I'm still not feeling up to doing much and she's been helping me out around the house with some cleaning and cooking. That's doesn't exactly make me happy because I want to be doing these things myself and she should be here to relax. I know she doesn't mind, but that's not the point. 

Anyway, I turned on pandora, turned it up, and went to work in my kitchen when I awoke. I hadn't been in there to clean for over a month and well, Fiona and Amanda don't clean quite like I clean. It;s not their fault, my mother is OCD and there are some things that I notice that other people don't because my Mom noticed them and would bitch at me to do them. So I did the dishes and cleaned one side of the kitchen. I still need to wipe down the cabinet doors and tackle the other side, but I could only do so much before I was hurting. I also broke a pint glass. When Amanda woke from her nap, she washed the cushion covers of the sofa and vacuumed the living room floor. Tomorrow, if I am feeling up for it, I will tackle the other half of the kitchen. Fiona rearranged my refrigerator when she was cleaning a spill. My cabinets are a mess too. It might take us all week, but we will get everything put back in order. Not to worry, I'm not complaining, not too much. I am grateful for all the help, I just wish I didn't have to go in and rearrange stuff after. 

Lastly, I read Amanda some of my story. She gave me some of her MFA Learned pointers and we got to talking. I think I really do want to explore the MFA avenue. I really do think it would be beneficial to me and now that my internal girly bits are gone and not killing me, I might actually be able to attend a school here in town rather than an online program. Which might also be good for me. I can hear my Dad bitching at me now.  He doesn't want me to be in debt and wants me to be writing and finishing a novel. But back to Amanda, apart from the critique, she'd say "gross" every so often about something that I was reading her, like Hetro sex and so on. It was kind of funny, but there was a moment or two where I started to worry. It was fine, she was giving me shit. 

Well, time to get to it. 

Ridiculousness, school, dog sitting, Amanda

The red head standing in the middle, that's my 

Fiance, Amanda, receiving her Master's diploma. I am super exited she finally has it and that the schooling part for her is over. Her novel isn't but she will be working on it when she returns home.

There she is again on the far right. 

At the moment I am dog sitting my neighbor's dog, totally hanging out watching Ridculousness. Its stupid, its funny, and its mindless enough for a day of semi-relaxation that I am really loving it! My neighbor took her husband and kids to Boise over night so she could see her parents and Grandma. Her parents live in Arizona and were coming up to see her Grandmother. It;s a quick visit and they will be back today sometime. So far, I've let their dog out several times, watched some TV, and have done homework. It's so quiet and nice. 

So far, I've made it through my first week of this term. I had a lot of reading this week. I've had to do a list of value statements, do an author bio, and it looks like I have to launch a website for my writing. That freaked me out a little because I don't have anything published (aside from fanfic and I wouldn't exactly use that to represent me). It has to be an active site and paired up with a facebook page and twitter account or one other media platform. I am so dreading this, but maybe it won't be so bad. I can always deactivate stuff or put it on hold until I need it again. In my photography class, I have played with my camera and the settings, and played with a couple types of photography. 

At the moment, I am very tired and ready to take a nap. I can't very well go to bed because I still have a lot of laundry to do. With that comes cleaning off my bed and putting clean sheets on. I also have dinner to eat. I managed to get my desk cleaned off and the bathroom cleaned. I'd say that's progress! 

Hello Wine, why is the cat crying?!

I am out of pain pills and I am in a lot of pain tonight. In fact it's at the point where it is burning in the back and down both my legs. That's not good. So, I decided today, since we were in a different store, that I would ask Skoora to buy me some wine to try. I don't plan to get shit faced or medicate with alcohol when I don't have pain medication, no no no. But she did buy me some to try. Last time I had wine is gave me wicked heartburn and I haven't touched it since.

So, despite the fact that this is cheap wine of some supposedly exotic fruity nature, I still don't think I like wine but at least I don't feel the hurt so much. Skoora brought me a coke-a-cola glass full of it. The burning in my back and legs is still there but I've got enough of a buzz that, like I said, it isn't as bad as it was. However, I do have to pee already.

Yoda-Chan, dear sweet Yoda- Chan. He was outside my door crying to be let in. I let him in and now he's sitting at the door crying to be let out. Oh great, and now Galen is crying too. I am not getting up. I will win and curb their obsession with going in and out.

We watched Opposite Worlds on SyFy tonight. I do not like it. There is too much talking and not enough actually stuff happening in the show. It's just a different twist on Survivor and I hate hate hate that show. Actually the only 'reality competition' show I do like is Face Off. At the moment, we have the TV on in our room, which  believe me is rare unless we just want something mindless to fall asleep to and even that's kind of rare. Anyway My Strange Addiction is on and there is this guy who eats plastic. Um, okay, if that's what floats your boat but you might lose your fiance if you keep that shit up. The other part of the episode is about a woman who is co-dependant on a baby doll.. O.o And she wants her boyfriend to bond with it. Um, that's your addiction, don't try to force him into it, you're doing good in that he's been tolerant of your addiction so far (and at least this is one that doesn't hurt anyone or herself).

So, goals for tomorrow: Research Bloodstones for my new Pagan blog, try to get some much needed reading done, and some girl stuff. Going to do a face mask because it's been forever since I've done one. Need to do some extra exfoliating because my skin has been dry and peeling a little bit. Oh and just so ya'll know (heh heh my native Kansan talking) I DO like Honeybooboo. 

No warning title.

I have decided that I really loathe the show chopped on the food channel.  I'm just so sick of watching it, of listening to the judges, and well all of it. And for some reason Skoora's mother just loves all the competition reality TV shows. That aside, I really wish the TV could be turned off once and in a while, for more than two minutes. I mean really, you couldn't find anything on two minutes ago, what's changed now? And for the love of the Gods, watch the TV or shut up! It's hard to handle one conversation while the TV is going much less two. More importantly can't you see that I am trying to do something. Hint, if my fingers are moving over the keys, I'm busy.

Apparently our neighbors, the ones above us, have completely ignored the letter sent out by management about noise after 10 pm. They had people over and have been stomping since 10 pm.

Things have not been going very well for me lately. My back has been really bad the last three weeks and the most comfortable place for me to sit, where I have the least amount of pain, where I can semi have a rational coherent thought is in the living room. The TV, the constant conversations, the noise from upstairs, none of that would bother me so damned much if I wasn't in pain. Also, if I didn't feel utterly overloaded. This is the part that I've been trying really hard to assuage per se.

I used to work (and or go to school), clean, do laundry, cook, run errands (sometimes for multiple people), have a little of a social life, read, and write every day and did so for several years. I was the person people went to when they needed help. I had focus, drive, and even though I suffered from depression and anxiety, I could get up the next day and do it all over again. Dare I say it I had hope as well.

Some things happened over a year ago that really screwed with me mentally and about that time my back got really bad and hasn't gotten better since. Needless to say I fell like both are and have destroyed me. I literally have to give myself a laundry list, one I keep full, to get out of bed in the morning. I cling to the little things I can do, when I am able to do them, just because they make me feel like I have some semblance of purpose.  I am unable to support myself financially, which is difficult enough. Having to have my girlfriend come in to help me take a shower, to help me get dressed, and use the bathroom is devastating and it's taking it's toll especially during NaNoWriMo month.

I have been having so much trouble trying to focus on writing, on writing much of anything really. Even e-mails have been difficult. It doesn't seem to matter what time of day I try to sit down and write, I just don't seem to be able to do much. I am so behind on the word count target it's not even funny. Sure there is time left in the month but I'm scared that I won't make it. Most people would say it's no big deal but to me it really is. I do not have much to be proud of and NaNoWriMo, completing it and being a winner is one of the only things I do have. And I feel like the ability of finishing this year is being stolen from me.

So because I can't really focus on writing and being upset about it, I haven't really done a lot of things that I would like to do which only drives me nuts. I have things that I need to get done, just small things and nothing out of the ordinary. One of my friends said that I should give myself a break. I wish I could but I really can't. I have to do things, I have to keep going, even if like most days, I am so exhausted at the end of the day that I can barely keep my eyes open. I'm not going to school, I am unable to work, if I don't feel like I am contributing in some way, and keeping myself busy so I don't go nuts in the mean time, then the depression is so much worse.

And lastly, I am so lonely. The people I am most comfortable with, aside from Skoora who I feel terrible for venting to a lot, are the furthest away. 

You did what to Cookie Monster?

When I was a kid I was lucky enough to have a little cable in the house, mainly because it was part of the deal in the apartment complex my parents live in. But I didn't just grow up watching Nickelodeon and Disney, in my early days I watched stuff on PBS. I saw all sorts of thing most people won't remember Zoobalee Zoo for instance. But like most kids I also watched Sesame Street. My parents or someone even bought me Sesame Street Christmas tree ornaments, I was too little to remember who. Still I had them and still have a few back at my parent's house.

In the last few years I've been noticing a real crack down on fat people (I've only really started to take interest in the news and politics and whatnot in the last five, forgive me for being more concerned with working, writing, college, and getting out on my own prior). Let's face it, that's what it is. Fat people aren't pretty to society's eyes and so society must do something about it. Never mind that all the healthy food is more expensive than the processed crap they shovel out onto the shelves. Don't get me wrong, I love Cheesy Tuna Helper and Beef Stroganoff Hamburger Helper, Ravioli in a can, Ramen, all that kind of stuff. It's relatively quick and easy to make and when I was working, going to school, and trying to have a social life, that's what I turned to when making fast dinners at my house.

Now that I've gotten away from my OCD Mother, I love her but she and I can't be in the same kitchen at one time because it's her way or else, I have experimented with other food and learned how to make more things from scratch and so on, and have really pushed for better food. Not trying to toot my own horn but I'm really not that bad of a cook. People have asked why I don't go to culinary school and do it professionally, I tell them that I don't like to be rushed in a kitchen and if I made a career then I wouldn't love  it anymore. The kitchen is mine when I am in and God help those who dare to enter without my expressed permission! Aside from that we don't buy processed food that much if at all. We buy more produce and fruit and meat. It's hard all of that stuff is expensive. I personally don't buy into the 'Organic' fad because it's the same thing and if people really wanted to get as Organic as they can then they should grow it all themselves.

Anyway, I've always said if Society/ Government/ Whoever, really wanted to help the 'Obesity Epidemic' they would make the unhealthy stuff more expensive than the healthy stuff or at least make the healthy stuff more affordable. But they won't because the Powers that Be want as many people dependent on the Government so the Government has more control of our every day lives, the more control they have the more they can do whatever they want and the less power we have to stop them. Yeah, I just said that, bite me, it's the truth.

Here's where the Government and the Powers that Be are already encroaching on our lives. They have decided that parents aren't responsible enough to buy and prepare food that is healthy enough for their children. I'm sorry but when you are living paycheck to paycheck and the "Government" decides that you make too much to get food stamps but all your money is going to bills and medical bills, you buy what you can for food and pray that it lasts. May parents would often make a big pot of Stew, Chili, or Bean Goo (it's what we called re-fried beans with salsa and hamburger mixed together for burritos) and eat it over the week. Dad would get sandwich meat and bread so we had sandwiches for lunch and cereal for breakfast. We made it just fine with what we had and besides, I didn't actually start getting fat until I went to college and ate the food the damned college served in the cafeteria, unhealthy processed foods, mother fuckers! All those carbs went straight to my ass!

Back to the point, Whomever is in charge has decided that parents aren't responsible enough to teach their kids healthy eating habits and has decided they are going to 'help educate' the poor impressionable children for them. One of the ways they are doing that is by fucking with one of the characters I loved watching as a child. I just want to point out that I am not a fan of cookies or brownies really. I like cake and pie but I'm still not a person who craves a lot of sweets. Cookie Monster is no longer the Cookie Monster, he's been ruined, in my opinion. Cookie's are a sometimes snack now. What the Fuck?! Leave shit alone, please, really.

I will allow that there are some parents who don't give a rats ass about their kids. That they park them in front of the TV to do whatever it is that floats their boat and should take responsibility of their kids, they made them after all damn it. But a lot of other parents are like my parents, they did everything they could to make sure I had food, clothes, shelter, and they actually did stuff with me like read to me, played games, watched a movie, ect... Hell, we even went to Grandma's and worked in the garden together.

The point is, stop trying to preach your ideals at people. Most are doing what they can and trying to provide the best they can. And stop ruining things I love with your political aims. If I want to feed my kids cookies and they want cookies then by god they shall have cookies!