I've not felt good the last couple of day. Fibromyalgia has been kicking my ass as of late. No, I'm not off the fibro medication yet, but as of tonight I will be. My doctor wants to see how I feel over the next two weeks before he does anything else. *sigh* Right this moment I am dreading the two weeks of withdraw since in past every time I missed a dose I could tell. Which is damn obnoxious! But I'm trying to remain positive and focus on other things.
Today, I have been busy. I've made several calls, looked up directions for Francis, been to the local library to get a new card, taken Amanda to work, and not all in that order. I've also spent some time researching medieval historical element such as what exactly kings and queens attended to on a daily basis. Some of it I already knew from school or had gathered from reading books or watching TV, but I wanted the actual details. I also looked at some castle construction because damn it, I might have a map drawn out for the story I seem to be gravitating toward, but I don't have a clue as to what the castle layout is like and it is driving me nuts. More importantly, I wanted to know where the best location of the city it should be in (you know for strategic defense) and so forth, you don't want to read about that. And then I somehow fell down a rabbit hole wherein I stumbled across a Quoara answer author Mercedes Lackey had about Mermaids and if they draw breath when they were born. According to her, they don't because they don't exist. Actually the whole of her answer gave me a giggle, but then again, how does she know? The ocean is a big place... just saying.
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| Office: north wall. It's not finished yet, things still have to go up and eventually we're painting the room gray and purple. |
I found my planner yesterday. It was buried under some stuff on Amanda's desk, which is the one with the ship picture above it. Mine has the lamp on it with all the collage pictures (and my manifestation boards) on the wall under the shelf. Anyway, I've missed it. And, I don't like it. I miss decorating it with planner stickers and I miss making planner sticker too. That's a kind of self care ritual I'm going to pick back up again.
Also in yesterday's news, I saw something on facebook about a feminist art show that's soon to go on. I thought, maybe I would try to go, but when I was reading their about section I was a bit turned off. They claim to be promoting equality and not against men, but it doesn't really sound like it to me the further down I read. I know that all groups have their zealots, but there are some feminist groups that sound more like man hating bitch clubs, than anything else- not that this group is or could be. I haven't met them, I'm just saying they don't sound as equal as they proclaim. And hey, at one point in time, I used to be part of a man hating bitch club, but I was in high school and I have sense grown up. Instead, as I was trying to describe to my Dad in our conversation yesterday, I'm more of an Equalist. Skin color, race, gender, sex, clothing, social status, financial status ect... shouldn't be an issue. What should be an issue is whether or not you're an asshole, break the law, hurt people ect... My Dad hadn't heard of the term and I said that's because I made it up. He thought that was clever. Which, quite honestly, is a nice complement and not something I'd heard anyone say to me before.
When I was telling Amanda about she said Feminism is about equality. At least, it is supposed to be. We talked about it a little bit and also talked about affirmative action, which was something else my Dad and I talked about, given that he was the one who hired for the correctional facility he worked at. My personal thought is, if the person could do the job, I would hire them. But Amanda brought up a point that in a retail environment that doesn't always work because you want who will make the customer feel comfortable around- which, yes, I get. But that's retail. She also brought up that a prison isn't likely to hire a skinny girl as a guard because big guys could beat the shit out her. But then again if said skinny girl holds a black belt in some martial art and knows how to defend herself, she might just be the person for the job. Anyway, those are just my thoughts.
Lastly, I've had to restart my computer to see if that would help the issue I am having with my printer. Some times it doesn't recognize that they are connected. I unplugged the printer just for good measure and am going to try again for the few things I need to print off. Tomorrow, I need to address some issues with my friend's kettle corn website and see what I can do to fix it. I also have to read about dialectical behavior therapy- something my therapist wants me to look at before Friday.
I hope the Doctor finds a suitable and effective replacement for the fibro med. I hope your adjustment goes as smoothly as possible.
ReplyDeleteI once knew this woman who was a prison guard. She weighed no more than 90 pounds soaking wet. She was also a manhater who chose her job to feel empowered I guess. Then she ended up being a meth addict in Central California. Sometimes you can just never tell what absurdities life will manifest.
I hope life manifests more comfort for you.
You are a powerful person. Don't ever forget it. But there is a saying I once read: Give until it hurts, not til you're doubled over in pain.
Some take Cymbalta for fibro. Others take opiates. Ask your doctor about Meloxicam. It's designed primarily for arthritic related problems but they knock my period cramps out cold for hours at a time. Maybe they'd help your fibro. Only your Dr. would know.
I am taking Cymbalta, for depression. Apparently it works for both.
DeleteI am going to have to talk to him about the fibro because it is so much worse now that I am off the other med. Beyond my pain threshold for certain and has kept me sofa bound for a couple of days. Not even 2 aleve helped much.
I try not to forget, but sometimes it is hard.
Will be thinking about you and sending good thoughts your way.
ReplyDeleteHope you find a medication that really works wonders.
hugs to you..
Hugs and thank you. I'm hoping that when I see my doctor next, he can do something. The last weeks or so hasn't been easy.
DeleteWow, I really like your term, Equalist! It's concise and inclusive plus it would be pretty hard to spin into a negative. On the other hand, it's kind of sad that Feminism seems to have lost it's positive connotation.
ReplyDeleteAt the risk of sounding like a crazy person, I have to bring up the fact that words have power. I honestly believe that pundits on the far right and like-minded politicians have deliberately set out to distort the meaning of feminism in order to maintain their white male privilege. Not that long ago being a feminist meant you were for women having control of their own bodies and for being paid the same as a man for doing the same job. Then all of a sudden it became a term of derision and anyone not supporting the status quo was a "femi-nazi". I recall wondering if I wanted to refer to myself as a feminist anymore. Now that was particularly stupid since I've spent my entire career in advertising and manipulating the general public's perception of things was our stock and trade! Of course the argument can be made that language is fluid and meanings change but in this case I honestly think it was as deliberate as gerrymandering.
Sorry about the rant! I really like your idea of identifying as an Equalist, it's a great alternative and if we all start using it maybe it will catch on!
Hope you're not feeling too awful while you're without your meds. You're in my thoughts and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that something new and helpful will come along for you. Cheers, Sarah
Thank you, and no worries, I do not mind the rant. :) I rant here all the time. It;s a good way to get it out.
DeleteI am not feeling very well, but I'm trucking along as best as I can, and maybe pushing myself a little bit too.