Tuesday, February 24, 2015

End of Term, upcoming birthday, sick cat, pain, upcoming projects

It seems like this term of school was going to last forever. I was unimpressed with my literature critical theory class and had some twat in my Geography class attempt to educate me while ripping me a new one in one of our units. There wasn't one bit of my discussion board post that I wrote that wasn't true, that Amanda or I hadn't researched and talked about (granted it was for writing), or that wasn't stated in the text book. This person in my class also tried to insult me and call me a racist, bible-thumping idiot without actually saying it but it was very much implied, and basically tried to bait me into an argument. They also deemed my post as being something only fitting for facebook and not a college forum. Except that I didn't rise to the occasion. And in fact, everything that wrote and how they attacked me is exactly the kind of thing she was accusing me of. My instructor tried to curb everything and diffuse the situation and had to keep trying to diffuse it as this person kept trying to bait me. Didn't happen never mind that I had a plethora of information I could have fired back at her. My instructor also, made it sound like this person does this every week.  And after sating my curiosity to see if this hunch was true... It was! This person is a snide little bitch who like to add too, or improve upon other peoples posts in our class and if there is something they don't like, she very rude.

Moving on. Like I said this is the end of this term. I am happy. So happy I can hardly contain myself. I finished all the homework that I am going to do for my lit class. I have one module of homework I could do but nope. I am tired, worn out, and tired of the bullshit of that class. I will pass and with a B so that's all I care about at this point. I do have a paper and discussion board posts to do in my geo class but I will do all of that tomorrow. 

I did take a peak at the next term's set of classes and I think I am going to like them. Bite your tongue! I know, I will probably find out that I don't like at least one class, but I think they are going to be better than my Lit class. Plus my philosophy professor sounds really freaking awesome already.

My birthday is coming up. I am going to be 31! I don't feel it, well except physically. I haven't decided that I am going to do on the actual day except for that we are going to the full moon ritual that evening. I was kind of thinking about going to Spokane for the day but Amanda and I are taking Fiona to Seattle the next week so she can go to her best friend's wedding. While there Amanda and I are going to go to the Shinto Shrine I have been wanting to go to for years! We are also going to do little bit of shopping at a metaphysical store and go back to the Uwajimaya for a little shopping there. We also want to go to the ocean and collect some water and maybe get on a ferry and go to a writer's retreat island. 

My back and hips have been bothering me pretty badly lately. My hips from sleeping too long, I think. But my back is a constant thing, it's just been a lot worse lately. 

Galen is sick and has been for awhile. He has kitty bronchitis. We basically have to shove pills down his throat and when I do it, the sneaky fucker hides it in his mouth and then spits it out under the bed. So he hasn't gotten a lot of his meds. I tried to hide his meds in food this morning but that didn't work so he and I had a little fight while I tried to get him to swallow his pills. It was a lot of growling from both of us but I think, I finally won. We just have to get him to take the rest and call in some more medication for him. 

During my break week between terms, I have a couple of projects I want to work on. I have a couple of tote bags I need to make, Amanda's purse, and both of our cloaks, and I am also going to make two shirts. I have some anime I want to catch up on, some movies I want to watch, and some books I want to read. Of course a lot of this will probably won't get finished but if I can start these projects, they will bug me until I finish them. 

But, for now I am going to bed. Its been a long day and I am tired.  

Oh one more thing! I have been feeling a pull toward fantasy stuff in general lately and have been thinking about one of my stories that just so happens to be in the fantasy genre, so maybe I might actually get some writing done too during the break. 

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Kansas 1861-2013 - Editorials - Hutchinson News: Sad but so very true

Kansas 1861-2013 - Editorials - Hutchinson News

Read the link above

I was born and raised in Kansas. My Grandparents, on my Dad's side were both teachers. Grandma Evelyn taught 2nd grade and before that worked in one of those one room school houses. My Grandpa Hugh also taught, drove a school bus, and later because a Master Librarian for Butler County Community College. He even wrote a book about the history of the college which has since been published. My Dad worked for over 30 years as a corrections officer. My Mom is a homemaker but worked in nursing homes before I was born. Some of the best friends I have ever made in my life live in Kansas, my favorite and closest family members still live there and are struggling to survive.

Thanks to my Grandparents and my Parents, I've been on many car trips around the state to see things like the world largest hand dug well, a Swedish town, and other points of interest. There's even a small castle right in the middle of Wichita. My family has history there. My one of my Great Great Grandparents once owned most of Greenwood County and had he not made some bad investments and lost it in the depression, my life might have bee different. I don't mind that though. I think it's neat.

I will probably never live in Kansas again. I suppose this is my goodbye message. I'll return to get my the rest of my things from my parent's basement. I'll visit my family and friends when I can, but I can't move back there. I can't survive there. When my Father who has over 30 years of experience and a good deal of that in management, can't find another job other than a piddly one that doesn't really do much of anything. When the State Governor, that's you Sam Brownback, makes more cuts to education to keep the state solvent through June or July. When I could never get the proper health care that I need because the state opted out of health care and I can't afford to even go to the doctor for a cold. There's just no real point in going back and trying to make a go of it.

It is sad. I will mourn the loss of a pretty good childhood filled with exploration, wide open spaces, booming thunderstorms, driving on 235 to 96 to Highway 54 from Wichita to Augusta on summer evenings with the windows down, camping at Marion Lake, hanging out with family friends on their farm up around Russel where my Dad was born. Like Dorthy said, there really is no place like home and my home has been ruined by squabbling, political miscreants.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Recently acquired books and DVDs, needing some girly self care, and some study music.

First, I just wanted to share a new musician I came across via Pandora. Karunesh turned up on my Zen Station- which I typically have playing in the background while doing homework. Evening Reflections is probably one of my favorite songs and if you do decide to listen to it, wait until it gets about 2 and half minutes in, it's worth it.

Hastings had a 2 for $10 deal on books $7.99 or less. So, I grabbed Ghosts of Ascalon and like the book advertises, yes, it is a book based off the Guild Wars game. I'd actually borrowed it from the library last year but didn't have a chance to really read it. Now that I have Guild Wars 2, I decided I should probably finish GW1 and read the books between the end of GW1 and GW2. 

This was the book I had originally gone into Hasting's for. I don't like the cover art and think the cover art from the 2nd book in this series was much better. Anyway, I am really excited to read this one... Assuming I can get a break in homework long enough. 

Occasionally Amanda and I find interesting books at 2nd hand stores. This is just one of a few that we found the other day when we took Fiona to meet her Mom. 

Another from the 2nd hand store. Amanda seemed to think I needed as many fun books as possible. 

These two DVDs are also thrift store finds and part of a set. But where the rest of the set is, I don't know. I'm always interested in see something educational like this and since they were on a good deal, I grabbed them. 

I am a Rogers and Hammerstein's girl and weird as it sounds WW2 movie lover. So when I found this at the thriftstore, still wrapped in plastic, unopened or tampered with for 50 cents, I snatched it from the shelf. 

Lately I have been neglecting myself because of depression, chronic pain, and school overload. I haven't done many of the things or personal rituals I would normally do, or have been trying to get myself back into doing. The last time I dyed my hair was last summer. I can't remember the last time I painted my nails or did a facial mask. Or even took care of my feet outside of washing them. So, depending on how much homework I get finished tomorrow... which is actually now today, I am going to do some of those things. It's time to pluck the eyebrows, break out the facial scrub, body scrub- a friend gave Amanda and I a soft bubbling scrub from the Haus of Gloi called Persephone's Decent that's simple luscious!  I also want to do my nails, take care of my feet, and possibly dye my hair again. I'll dye it black, like usual, because I don't like the kind of mousy-brown my natural color is, but I was thinking about doing purple streaks too. I haven't decided and getting proper hair bleach and purple dye can get expensive. I already have the back dye so I might just stick with that. 

 I've been thinking about tea, meditation, and later watching a movie to go along with it. 

Friday, February 6, 2015

Bathroom adventures, blogging is better than homework, and other things.

My star lantern

I am blogging because I'm dreading my lit homework. Its not that its particularly hard, I just don't like it and think a good deal of it is a waste of time and a load of crap. More to the point, it is one of those classes where I feel I could have gotten the jest of the whole class from web article in brief rather than an 8 week course and an instructor who just might be as stressed as I am, if not a little nuts. That said, I don't particularly like the book I have to do my thesis paper on either. 

Still not having an easy time of it here at home but my friend Fiona came up for a few days. She and I got out of the house a couple of times. She's been a bit helpful too since my back has been acting up again and I am really weak from my period. I don't think she quite understands exactly how weak I do get and how hard it is for me to wake up in the morning. This morning was no exception, felt like I fought to stay awake after she first came in to wake us up for a good ten minutes. And then, once I was up, I had a hell of a time trying to get around. Seriously, my back hurt and I was having trouble moving my feet without wanting to vomit and pass out. I still got dressed and I still went with her and Amanda into CDA to take Fiona to St. Vinnie's thrift store so she could look around and meet her mother. Fiona doesn't drive so she Mom brings her into town. Anyway, it was rough but we did stop long enough to have lunch with another friend before coming home. Which was kind of nice. I broke down and took a pain pill, which did help, a little. 

Fiona told me about a place to go in CDA for mental health where I can get in to see a councilor and its on a sliding fee scale. I think that is a good idea and I am at the point where I think I really do need to see a therapist again. But this time I am going to make sure that I see one that doesn't have a problem treating a gay pagan with a debilitating back injury and who won't fat shame me and chalk everything up to my weight. I will impress upon who ever this person is, that I was struggling with depression and anxiety long before I got fat. Of course I will do this politely. There's no reason to upset anyone and I am simply seeking fair care. I've given up on my medical doctor. Its great what she's been able to do thus far, but at this point she can't do any more for me, except prescribe pills that I can't afford. So, I'm not going to see her again unless I am horribly sick.

I've done a little shopping recently and I wouldn't have except that Amanda and I are looking to move out of her parents house soon and there are a few things that we need.  We found some decent cookware, a hand mixer, and a really good blender on clearance at Wal-Mart. We also picked up some silverware, it's not the best or anything fantastic, but it will do us just fine. I was going to make pot holders but ended up getting a few and some kitchen towels along with them. I can make more pot holders later. We got a few towels and wash cloths and I went to the Dollar Tree yesterday and picked up measuring cups, measuring spoons, a pitcher for tea, and a veggie peeler. For some reason, getting that stuff, made me feel better, made me feel like there was some hope. 

Yesterday, while Fiona and I were out, we had to make a run to Wal-Mart for a few things. We were on our way out and I had to use the bathroom. So I told Fiona to meet me at the door while I went. On my way into the bathroom I noticed a football poster on the wall and thought to myself that the employees must really like football. Then I noticed that were were only two stalls. The larger stall had pee all over the floor so I back out of it and used the smaller one. When I was finished and walking out of it, I noticed that there were two urinals and thought that I must have gone into the family bathroom. Only when I was washing my hands did I realize that that no, I wasn't in the family bathroom, I was in the Men's bathroom and hoped that no one came in until I was finished. Well on my way out, a man was walking in and I said, "Yeah, I thought as much." He laughed at me and I hurried along to meet up with Fiona. You know, if we'd just gone to the Wal-Mart I usually go to, this wouldn't have been an issue. But, because we went to another Wal-Mart, I didn't think to check the signs before walking into the bathroom and therefore didn't know that they were in the opposite places from my Wal-Mart. 

Other than that, I haven't really been up to too much. Amanda and I have started planning our wedding/handfasting. That's kind of brought on whole extra round of depression in that I don't know that my family, namely my parents and Cousin Shi-Chan, will be able to come unless we pay for them to come. I talked to my Mom about it tonight and she said she would rather I spent the money on my honeymoon. She doesn't understand that I would be devastated if she and my Dad didn't make it and that my honeymoon would be ruined by it. It really would. I can do a honeymoon with Amanda anytime after we are married. Besides, even as low budget and simple as we are keeping it all, I wasn't planning on doing a honeymoon until later anyway. But that's another matter for another day. Tonight, I have to get some homework done and then get to bed. My back is still hurting and I am exhausted.