Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Goals for 2018, update, and disaster phone and tears.

Found this awesome picture over at The Latest Kate on Facebook.

This morning has been relatively quiet in our house, of course now that I have said that, the in-laws will appear from the basement, and it will be noisy until they decide to leave, but that's okay. I am ready for it. I think. LOL! I've a little bit to share today, so I'm going to keep things as short as possible. 

First, the cell phone arrived and I am shipping right back to the seller. We've already put in for our refund because that piece of shit was unacceptable. Advertised as new, we received what looked to either be someone's trade in or a stolen phone. The screen was shattered, the sides dinged up, and not even the right screen protector sticker on the front. the sticker was for another brand of phone. On top of that, the box it came in said the phone was white, it was black. And there was a new charger inside so I know the seller had to have looked at it and just didn't care. Guess again. But what is strange is that the seller was Samsung on Amazon. 

Amanda and I both need new phones and as much as I would like to stay with T-Mobile (My Dad and I have been loyal customers since I was in high school), Metro PCS has some better deals on their plans and we'd get two new, free phones. But, we will see. So for the time being, I am still without a cell phone. 

Second, we're still going, going, going. Despite being home most days, we've had some friends over, a couple stayed the weekend this weekend, and one stayed over because we are closer to her work and the roads were shit. One of Amanda's Aunt's came to stay the night too. We've also, finally, gotten all of her parents stuff moved over from Idaho. Of course the unpacking is slow going with me doing school again, with the recent string of bad pain days, and trying to get things settled. 

Speaking of unpacking and trying to get things settled, I have most of the kitchen unpacked and put away. But I'm running into wall a little bit because I have our things and Amanda's parent's things. I don't have room for both. We have to go through all of it, decide what Cathy wants to keep and pack it away for the garage, and I will probably get rid of the stuff that doesn't work for us any more.  And on that note, Amanda and I dug several book boxes out from the garage. She did most of the carrying in and unpacking. We put the manga in the living room on one side of the fire place and will be placing the pagan books on the other. Paperbacks and hardbacks of fiction and some non-fiction went up to our bedroom and reference, language, and writing books went to the office/guest room. we're going through them to see if there are some we want take to a thrift store or a book exchange place. We have some touch ups to do in the living and dining room as far as painting goes, but we haven't really found the time or energy for that, plus, anytime we get a minute, we're asses on sofa, taking time to relax. We will get to it. 

School is going well. The actual class time and the time it takes me to do homework aren't that long, what takes the most time are the 15 hours a week that I have to do at the help desk and giving tours of the school on Second Life. It's how I earn my full scholarship. I don't mind doing it, I actually enjoy it, and there are long periods where no one is around so I can do homework, all I have to do is keep an eye out for anyone coming on screen or "into the lobby". 

Apart from all that, I wanted to share some goals I've made for myself this year. I've got a lot I want to do and some will get done in time, some I can start on now. 

1.  Get the house settled
2. Start saving for the things we want to do and repairs to the house
3. Set up the office
4. Set up my Vanity area
5. Work on the front and back yards
6. Finish the living and dining room
7. Get my ass writing again
8. Get reading more
9. Craft time
10. Start a Vlog (I've been talking about doing this for awhile, time to just do it)
11. Have more alone time with Amanda.

Lastly, my depression is getting interesting. I've been having episodes of crying and I'm not sure why. Perhaps its the tension trying to release in a new way. Doing morning devotionals with the school is helping a little, but I've had more panic attacks in the last couple of months than usual, which I don't like. I am hoping things will even out or get back to my "normal" soon.  

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Hospital, homework, and home

Happy Thorin

You'll have to forgive me, I don't have any photos of the house yet, it's not put together much less completely unpacked. We've been a bit tired and run down, everything is catching up to us and we've slowed down a good deal. Things are coming in from the garage to be unpacked pretty much one box at a time. It is what I can manage. But even that has been pretty slow because we haven't figured out where to put everything or don't have certain things set up just yet. It will happen when it happens. I'm hoping I'll get a little more pep in my step after a couple of days, but we will see. 

Homework is going well, so far. My text book just arrived so I have a bit of reading to do today and tomorrow. I need to do an assignment in grounding today and then write about my experience. The tech we use for school is interesting. We use Skype for business, Second Life, Moodle (which is just like Blackboard), and Office 365. I really didn't know if I was going to like Second Life, but its actually kind fun and a brilliant way for the school to bring all the students and teachers together- give us faces and voices to names. Well, we all have avatars and I am sure not all of us look like them- I certainly don't, but still. 

Anyway, aside from that I've asked a couple of friends who are going to the school as well, if we wanted to do a study group. At the moment, it's set for Friday mornings and I am excited to see how all of us approach our lessons. One of the ladies coming is a year ahead of the other girl and I but she's taking a World Religion class and I'm looking forward to seeing what she says about it. 

Okay, on to the hospital. I drove myself to a smaller emergency room in my local area yesterday while Amanda was at work. My right leg has been bothering me lately. At first I thought it was because of how I have been sitting, or maybe even that I aggravated my old shin splints, but when I rubbed my shin, I found a warm spot and under it what felt like a knot and that hurt to touch. I gave it a little time to see if it would go away but it didn't. Since one of my Grandma's died of a blood clot and I'm not taking blood pressure meds, I thought I better be safe than sorry, and get it checked out. My ultra sound looked great, no blood clots, and they checked both legs. As far as the lump in the leg, well the doctor isn't quite sure what it is, could be a nasty knot in the muscle or a cyst. He sent me home with instructions to ice it frequently and get in touch with my primary doctor to let her know what's going on.  

Other than that, we've explored our new area a little bit, discovered a store called Hobby Town USA that looks to have a ton of games inside, and went out last night for a friend's birthday. We met up at a place downtown called Sushi Sakai. The sushi was delicious! I had Inari, Miso soup, and a Avocado, beet, and daikon radish roll.  I keep forgetting how filling sushi is. After that, we walked down the street to the Piano Bar where they had a 'Dueling Pianos" event going on. Two guys were taking requests and playing pianos opposite each other. It was a lot of fun and once again I was reminded why the hell we don't go out to bars. Drinks were crazy expensive! Amanda and I had a shot, got one for a friend, and then we split a disappointingly small martini concoction. We spent 40 dollars. That's nuts! But we did have fun and I certainly hope our friend had a nice birthday. It was also the birthday of an older Asian lady. She reminded me a bit of my Mom when my Mom has had a bit to drink. Her birthday request was an Elton John song and she danced and played a cow bell. She was so adorable and fun! 

Well, I've put homework off long enough. I'm still playing catch up on everyone's blogs, but I am getting there. Oh, and Amanda got a cell phone ordered for me. It is on the way!    


Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Long time no see, I'm busy, but I am back!

It's been awhile. Not having a home whether it be apartment, house, or what have you, really took its toll on me. It took a toll on Amanda as well. We sofa hopped between two friend's house and her parents'.  Things were especially hard when we weren't with the cats. And, we were busy. Amanda was working, we were looking at houses and signing documents, shopping, helping with the family Xmas party, and really the list goes on. Then there was the signing and closing of our house and the big move! We are exhausted. We have a lot of stuff still to do, for instance, we need to finish painting. But I am getting ahead of myself.

The photo above is a picture of our little house. When my parents showed my Grandma, she said it looks like a Ginger Bread house. I suppose it does. It has a bedroom upstairs. Living, dinning, small kitchen and bath with a small bedroom are on the main floor. The basement is partial finished with a family room, an extra bedroom, laundry area and small storage area. The house itself is 81 years old and has good bones, an old coal shoot that's been sealed off, and a small entry way. Oh we have a garage and a nice, small, back yard. We're planning to do a  little gardening this year, if we can manage it. There are a lot of little things to fix within the house; a lot of big things too. We'll need to replace the washer and dryer- we can get some at the ding and dent center. We'll also need a lawn mower- can pick one up from a thrift store, hopefully. And we will need a garden hose. Our bathroom needs a little work, we need to paint some more, fix the broken window sills, and repair the stair rails for both sets of stairs. Eventually we will tear out the stairs and build new, redo the bathroom, and Amanda would like to build onto the back of the house to give me a bigger kitchen.  It will take us years, I expect. But first, I'm cleaning out cabinets, tearing out the old contact paper, and putting fresh down so that I may feel secure in knowing there is a clean place for my dishes. 

There was a great deal of stress before and during the move. There is still a lot of stress. I think we are trying to settle in and having trouble doing so. Point of fact, we have to unpack and arrange our house, do minor repairs, and we are simply and utterly exhausted. Amanda parents aren't even fully moved in. They are living in the basement. Her Mom is sick and her Dad is not exactly the most helpful of people, certainly a grump, but still lovable. Sorry, I'm a bit numb and tried, and well exhausted and my day has hardly begun. I have the first tinges of being sick and that's kind of pissing me off.

In other news, my Grandma turned 90 this December 1st. Then she tripped in her bedroom and fell, breaking her shoulder blade and three of her upper ribs. My parents have been staying with them to help around the house and help Grandma with things, mostly Grandpa. One of the jobs my parents took care of for my Grandparents this weekend was to cut wood and pile it near the back door. Grandma needed to be able to get to it easier for when they aren't there. Anyway, they worked for two hours and got at least a cord of wood cut. However, Dad also almost cut my Mom's hand off with the chain saw. He got a little close and thankfully, only nicked the back of her hand. She is okay and Grandma sewed up the glove, but my Dad is a little stressed, I could tell, even though he didn't say it. My parents are tired too. We've all just been going and going and going. Apparently my Aunt Laura isn't doing so well either. 

On top of that, we've had a broken toilet, which is thankfully now fixed, since it is the only one in the house. (We plan to put in a second one in the basement) And my cell phone died. Literally.  It has had problems for awhile and I have been patient with it. But last week it decided to fight me when I tried to charge it. Then one day, it simply wouldn't turn on or charge at all. Well, I bought it refurbished and had it for two years. It is time to take it to be recycled and order a new one. We can't do that just yet, we have to wait until Amanda gets paid again. I don't mind that much. 

In all of this you'd think I could be content to try to work on the house, unpack, and recuperate, get some writing done, but I decided to go back to school again. No, it's not a creative writing MFA, although I would like to pursue that eventually. I am attending the Woolston-Steen Wiccan Seminary.  I've been thinking about this for a while, a couple of years actually. Tuition is much cheaper than I thought it was going to be and I got a full scholarship in turn for service. So, I work for the school for 15 hours a week in lieu of paying tuition and if and when I am able to pay it myself, I will do so. They also have a sliding payment scale. anyway, my classes begin January 2nd and I am looking forward to them. I don't get to take an elective class until after my 30 day probationary period, but that's okay with me. 

All right, that's about all I can manage today. I have a list of stuff to do today and its looking like I may need a nap somewhere in there. Pictures of the inside of the house will come eventually. I'm not sure where my camera is and we're not unpacked and settled yet. It will take me some time, but I am hoping to get caught up on blog reading as well. I've missed you guys.  

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Finally! Conflicted. Where I have been lately.

It doesn't seem like a whole hell of a lot has been going on lately and yet... 

First, my bank really dropped the ball. Not only did they lie about when the document they were supposed to be sending out would arrive, but now they seem to be ending free checking. That's fine, I was closing with them anyway. 

Second, the housing authority came through for us, voided the other check, and cut us a new one. So, we've gotten our friend Rachel paid back and mostly paid back Amanda's parents. We still owe them a little, but it will be taken care of shortly.  

Third, the housing inspection went well, the owners are going to fix basically everything, and the loan officer has already made arrangements for an appraiser to head out and look at the house. So far it looks like every thing is on schedule. However, December 13th, our closing date, can't seem to come soon enough. My plan is to get the painting done right away, let it dry, then move in. This is so we don't have to deal with the cats and paint. That's if every thing works out and we get the house. I am a little worried, the universe has thrown me some heavy slaps lately, so I am cautious. 

Speaking of, my panic attacks have gotten a little worse. I had one the other day that lasted half a hour. Amanda wanted to take me to the hospital. I am really getting sick of this. 

To keep my mind off things, I have been binge watching stuff on netflix. Total avoidance, I know, but it's what I can do right now. Between Voltron, Grey's Anatomy, and trouble getting to sleep at night, I managed to cook up a Voltron fanfic and I'm not too happy about it. Well, no, a fanfic is fine, but I want to focus on writing novels not fanfic, and I didn't want to start anything until after I was moved into a house. I tend to get obsessive about writing and don't like interruptions or distractions when I get going, and sometimes get a little cranky. And while there is a little privacy in two of the places we are bouncing between, there isn't really any place comfortable for me to set up- comfort as in my desk chair. However, it seems that no matter how resistant I am to writing this fanfic, it is that much more determined to make me write it. So, after much hemming and hawing, I finally broke down and wrote up a character bio for an OC, did a little research, and today I am going to start it. As Amanda keeps reminding me "all writing is practice". Yeah, I know that, but I'm not going to make a career out of fanfic. It is just frustrating. 

Aside from that, I've had some pretty awful dreams lately, two of which involved my mother either being seriously hurt or her dying. Another was an unsettling dream to begin with but only grew worse when I saw Amanda at a bus depot and the relief and safety I had in seeing her was ripped away when she came up to me and introduced me to a woman she was replacing me with. As if that wasn't bad enough, she said she was going to keep me to be the companion animal to this new wife and that I was going to be their cook and maid. Dream Amanda is a hoochie-mama-heffer-head-bitch! 

Well, that's about it for now. I'm rather tired, didn't sleep well last night, so I might take a small power nap. I'll catch up on blog reading a little later. 

Saturday, November 11, 2017

I screwed up so bad, limbo, pain.

We are visiting our cats today. They are staying with the in laws until we have a house. 
Speaking of which, we made an offer on a cute little green house that our cousin Kitty Kat said looks like a fairy cottage. The offer was rejected and the owners asked for full price but they will pay closing costs and repairs. We are okay with that. That will work. So we have to put down our earnest money and then pay for a housing inspector to check foundations, wiring, ect... But, I fucked up royally. 

When Valley 206 gave us the relocation check, it had Amanda's and my name on it. We don't have a joint bank account. So when I signed and deposited the check into my account, my bank posted it then removed it and destroyed the check and sent out some legal document that we both have to sign, in person, in front of a teller, at the bank. Um, okay. That's fine, it really screwed us up, but okay. Except that we moved and our change of address- where we are getting our mail- hadn't yet kicked in. So if they sent it out like they said they did, then it would have gone to our old apartment- which had a vacancy sticker in it. So the letter would have gone back to Seattle, to the postal hub, to be rerouted to our forwarding address. Except it hasn't shown up and it has had plenty of time to come twice. 

We have been to the damned bank and the bank won't do shit for us. Not a Gods damned thing. We keep trying to get a hold of the Spokane Housing Authority to get them to cancel that check and reissue another one but we can't get a hold of them for shit and we aren't even sure if they will do it. 

So Amanda and I are sitting here, praying for the damned document to show before we lose out on this house. I've been so stressed out over all of this, over this one simple, yet colossal mistake of trying to take care of business while in the midst of moving out of our apartment, looking at houses, figuring out whose house I am going to be sleeping at this night or the next night, and going to the doctor, to therapy, and so on, that I can hardly stand it. I've cried every day over it. I've had panic attacks every day over it. Why can't we catch a break? 

A lot of people say its no the end of the world, but then they have never been in this situation. 

In other news, I went to the doctor today to get my blood drawn so she can check my thyroid. She made me pee in a cup too, to check my kidneys. I want to see what she says about my labs but I'm pretty sure we are going to change doctors soon. But I will talk about the why later. Oh and I have tendentious in both my Achilles tendons and carpal tunnel in both wrists. I now have to sleep with wrist braces for awhile. I also have had consistently high blood pressure for almost a year so I get to start taking blood pressure meds. Part of that is genetics, part of that is stress, and yes, part of that is my weight, but since every single person in my family, on my Dad's side, for the last several generations has had high blood pressure, um, yeah, it's probably mostly genetics. 

At the moment we are in limbo and the last several days I have been sleeping a lot and have been in a lot of pain. I have some big knots in my back that feel like knives. Amanda rubbed my back a little bit ago, but I might have her do some more later.

Thursday, November 2, 2017

Honeymoon adventures and moving

We are back from our honeymoon. We are moved out of our apartment. We are living out of suitcases and couch surfing because we are officially homeless. There's a numbness to it, on the surface and maybe even a little under. Or perhaps I've shut down again to keep myself from crying. I am not okay and yet there is plenty to be thankful for. Staying positive, trying to look at things positively, I admit is exhausting, but I'm putting in the effort. A new chapter in our lives is beginning and I am fighting tooth and tangled hair to see excitement and the silver lining. So I'll go in order. 

We went to Seattle for our honeymoon. Amanda;s cousin graciously paid for our entire hotel stay in a lovely hotel in Issaquah. The bed was amazing and for the first time in years, I awoke in the mornings with little or no back pain. I felt spoiled. 

We were both sick the entire honeymoon but we got did not let it stop us. We went to the Northwest Railroad Museum and I rode a real train for the first time in my life. I loved it. All of the cars were from different trains and different time periods. We also got to see Snoqualmie falls on the ride, drank fresh, warm hot apple cider, and the train had to make an emergency stop because some jack ass tried to race the train and nearly got hit. Afterward, Amanda and I ate a picnic lunch in the rain by a river. 

Uwajimaya, a huge Asian food and gift store, in Seattle, was our next stop. We splurged a little and I'm still a little shocked that I spent 20 dollars on a bottle of Sakura Sake, which I am saving to drink in our new house (when we get it and are moved in). We spent so much in the grocery part of the store that we opted out of going to the book/anime shop nestled inside. A travesty to be sure, but I was really tired, aching, and we had one more place to go. Thankfully, Daiso, another Asian store on our list, was across the street. It is a very neat shop with interesting things from Japan. I would love to share our haul from both places but most of it is packed and in storage. After we finished there, we went to dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory.

On another day, we took a ferry from Seattle to Bremerton. I stood on the front deck the whole hour long ride and enjoyed the breeze and water. I saw jellyfish, loons, seaguls, and seals. It was amazing! As we pulled into port, I noticed that there is a naval port there and saw the ship Kitty Hawk, which I thought was pretty cool. From there we drove down to Tacoma to a little shop called Crescent Moon Gifts. Largely a pagan store, they also had a tea room, and some fantasy stuff too. I was in pain when we arrived and there was so much to look at. The staff was so nice and I enjoyed talking with them. The store is also very peaceful and despite being in pain, I relaxed while we were there. 

We were supposed to catch dinner with Amanda's cousin and his family back in Issaquah but we didn't make it. One of our tires went flat and we discovered that we had forgotten to buy a tire iron. So, with a dying cell phone, we messaged Amanda's cousin and knocked on the doors of three houses for help. House two didnt have a tire iron but lent us a cell phone charger. House three had a tire iron and while we changed the tire, the man's daughter asked if she could help. Of course! We weren't in a hurry and it was a learning experience for her. After we put the doughnut tire on, we thanked everyone, returned the phone charger, and headed to Costco so see about getting a new tire or repairing ours. Our tire was toast! Apparently in losing air, it got hot and shredded from the inside, and sadly Costco didn't have one to replace it. So we drove from Tacoma to Issaquah at 45 mph because the doughnut tire couldn't go above 50 mph, on the I-5 and I-90. We were only honked at 3 three times. The next day we spent milling about a small shopping center while Firestone changed our tire. 

Coming home was hard. We had a good time but we missed the kitties. We also dreaded the thought of moving out of our apartment.

Two of our friend had packed the majority of our apartment while we were away. I can't even begin to express how much of a help that was. We still had a lot to pack and we were both still sick. We took a day to rest and visit with Amanda's cousin Kitty Kat before she flew back to Tulsa. She'd come up to visit family and see us. 

In the scant few days following we were a chaotic rush and mess of packing. We've made several trips back and forth between Spokane WA and Post Falls ID- where Amanda's parent's live. We are storing our stuff in a garage they are renting at their apartment complex and they are watching our cats. A couple of friends pitched in and helped up load and unload the u-haul and also helped me when Amanda was at work. Because Amanda needs to be in Spokane to work and because we are looking for houses and I have a few doctor's appointments, and because of rental agreements of the people we are staying with, we are couch surfing. We can stay with Rachel a couple nights a week and stay with Amanda's parents a couple nights a week, and to finish out the rest of the time, we are staying with another friend a few nights a week. We are taking our mail at one of our friend's houses in Spokane because that's where we will be a majority of the time and it is one of the places we are staying at. 

This is all very stressful. I feel so lost and displaced. Some other things have happened, good and bad but I haven't processed them all. When I do, I will share. However, we are house hunting and trying to get well, and just trying to enjoy time with our friends, family, and kitties.            

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Well, that happened, the paint is crying, and sick

Amanda and I. 

Well, it happened. We are married! Finally! The day of was pretty intense. Amanda was freaking out and I was trying to take it easy. Of course part was that as because I twisted both ankles and fell at Scarrywood the night before and the other part was because I wanted to be as calm as possible. Everyone else was freaking out and I'm not going to go into it, its done and over. 

The ceremony was beautiful, what I remember of it. It seemed to happen fast and a lot from that day is a blur and I was in a lot of pain. Thankfully, people recorded it. We never got to dance, never even got to listen to the music that wasn't in the ceremony itself. We basically got to eat dinner and a little cake and then the pavilion lights went out and it was time to clean up. Only, I didn't. I was cold and hurting, and went to warm up in the car. 

We had a small after party at a friend's house. I was planning to get drunk only I hung in long enough to sit by the fire for a few minutes, drink non-alcoholic hot cocoa, and then fell asleep on my friend's sofa. Another friend scared me awake to give me a hug goodbye. Amanda and another friend, both drunk, woke me up to go join the coven they were making in the back yard, but I was too sleepy. I do remember my friend nuzzling my boobs and pulling on my arm, but that was it. Apparently they made me drink some alcohol too. I missed all the vomiting excitement too, for which I am thankful.

The next morning when we walked to our car, parked around the corner from my friend's house, we found this gem:

Since Our car was parked facing away from the road and the damage as done on the passenger side, I can only assume that someone walking by threw something or hit the windshield as they were passing by. That's at least a 300 dollar fix and it will just have to wait until after we get back from the honeymoon. We have far too much shit to do at the moment. 

Speaking of which. I am sick and Amanda is feeling the first of it. I think it is a combination of stress, us being out in the cold rain the night before our wedding, and the mildew- mold smell permeating our apartment.

Two weeks or so ago we had what looked like a lactating tit dripping water down into our shower. I called maintenance about it. They came and slashed it and told us that they needed to let it dry out and that they weren't going to fix it until after we moved out since we are moving out on the 30th of this month. Lovely, how kind of them to leave us with this over our heads while we shower and while our out of town wedding guests shower. Fuckers.

Thursday night, after SScarrywood, we came home to a small puddle in the bathroom and our bathroom wall looking like this:

The next morning, our wedding day, it looked like this:

I went down to talk to the office about it. The apartment managers were gone so I cornered one of the Walker Construction guys and told him. I told him it was my wedding day, we were going to have people in and out of my apartment all day, but that I would be home Saturday. Well they don't work on Saturday, which he neglected to tell me, but he did say he would talk to someone about it. 

I waited all day Saturday and by Sunday morning I had had enough. Especially when I stepped in a wet spot in the hall way. I'm not sure how the water migrated there, I checked the water heater closet and nothing was wet in there and everyone swore they didn't spill anything. So I called Emergency Maintenance. They came out looked, mopped up the floor with some towels and did something with the water upstairs, which was where it was coming from. Our house smells awful. I'v had the dining room window open the last couple of days to try and help air it out. I've also kept the house kind of cold to discourage mold from growing. I don't know if that's doing any good or not. 

Since I have been sick the last few days, I've been resting, sleeping, and downing cold care tea, mucinex, and cough drops. Neither  Amanda no I want to be sick on our honeymoon next week, so I am doing my best to rest and get over whatever crap it is that I have. No, I am not smoking anymore. I quit that the day before I got sick. This doesn't help our efforts to pack up our house to move. In fact, Amanda has been doing most of it. Two of our friends are going to come over while we are on our honeymoon to finish it up for us, that way, when we get back, we can get a truck, and load it all into storage. Man this month fucking sucks! 

On the house hunting front, we have viewed two houses. They weren't us, not really. So we are still looking. 

For today, I am going to take the car back to emissions, finally, and hope it passes. Then I am going to go get car tags, finally. At some point the car needs an oil change and we need to pack for our hoeymoon and pick up our order from Torrid. But, at this very moment, I have a very spoiled and needy orange cat curled up on the table and on my arms wanting more attention, so everything else can wait a damned minute.