Excursions in Family Drama

There was once a time when my Dad asked me why I didn't write about our family. He was of the opinion that we have enough fodder for me to write a soap opera. My reply was that I write to escape all that shit. It was true then and it is still true today, except, once again I need to vent. 

Pretty much everyone knows that my mother's twin is my 'psycho aunt'. Cousin Shi-Can and I used to joke that her mother was the Wicked Witch of the West and sometimes that my mom was the Wicked Witch of the East (sans the house falling on her). Fitting since we were born and raised in Kansas. Anyway, Aunt Laura has been know to been known to be an abusive, vicious, vindictive, melodramatic person. She's lied, stolen, worn people wet tissue-paper thin, and so on. But, despite all the crap we've put up with over the years, she's still part of the family and she does have some good moments. I know part of why she is the way she is part mental issues, the abuses she suffered as growing up, and the physical maladies she's living with now. No, that doesn't give her an excuse to be bitch, but it does give some insight into the bigger picture- when you can remember that as she's tearing into one of your cousins or your Mom.

Back to her "good moments". My Aunt Laura can be, at times, kind, loving, and somewhat generous. She's helped each of her kids financially when she is able. Despite all of the shortcomings, she does love all three of her children and wants the best for them. She loves my parents, me, and even her in-laws. Its easier to see all of this not being in such close proximity to her. 

Well, I called my Mom the other day to vent and cry over a recent problem. Mom let me vent and we talked about options and so on. Then, it was her turn to vent and since she's been pretty much the one to really take care her twin and deal with her over the years, she has tons of frustration. (Dad and I keep telling her not to answer the phone or open the door, but they are twins and Aunt Laura NEVER takes 'no' for an answer.) 

The recent influx of family drama centers around my Aunt and my cousins. Her eldest, the alcoholic since 16 and once again druggie, needed a place to live along with his equally as substance abusing new girlfriend- who I might add is older than our Moms- not that I have an issue with age-gap love, but in this instance, is it really love or opportunistic sex mixed with illegal substances until something better comes along? To each his own, I guess. Anyway, since Aunt Laura came into some money she helped said cousin and his girl friend get an apartment. 

I haven't heard how she's helped Shi-chan, but I'm hazarding a guess that its with bills. She's the middle child.

But the youngest takes the cake. She is the baby, the pretty one- I think she looks like a fucking rat, but maybe that's because I know her personality, no insult to rats- and she gets everything she wants. If no one gives it to her, or she can't win it with her looks, or use her kid as leverage, she takes what she wants and that is exactly what she did, AGAIN, recently.  To make a semi short story shorter, my aunt was bullied my her late husband's parents to out the youngest kid's name on the car title of the car my Aunt bought. That is a horrendously terrible idea! At the time of the call with my mother, my Aunt had only driven her car a total of 4 times. She also had my Aunt's debit card. Now why anyone would, in their right mind, give that girl free access to their bank account is beyond me, but maybe my Aunt was trying to help. Oh boy did she help! My cousin with drew 800$ from the account and got an apartment for herself. But, it gets worse, she didn't ask, and certainly didn't tell her mother  until she was physically moving her things out of my Aunt's house. And then she wouldn't return the debit card. Aunt Laura told my Mom and my Mom went over to help her get her car and debit card back. For her efforts, Cousin Shi-chan, the middle of my aunt's children, got particularly vicious and said something nasty and wholly untrue to my Mom, landing her smack dab on the top of my shit list.

*long heavy sigh* Thankfully, in the few days since then, the youngest cousin returned the car, empty of gas of course, and returned the debit card. It had 4 dollars left on it and my Aunt hasn't paid bills yet this month. Yes, it is on my Aunt for letting her use these things. But she's essentially dying and perhaps trying to make up for her mistakes. Still that doesn't give my cousins the right to take advantage of her. What they should be doing is spending time with her and I don't know, helping my Mom take care of her when she gets bad. Unfortunately, they are all too self centered and opportunistic to do that and eventually, she's going to die and they will have missed out on time. I mean the woman thinks a friend of Shi-chan's deserves AIDS because he is gay, which is completely unacceptable and horrible and I will always be disappointed, hurt, and angry over that opinion, but she is my Aunt, I do remember good moments, despite that and a whole string of other crap, if I were in Kansas, I would be rolling my sleeves up and helping my Mom to take care of her. I wouldn't need to be asked. I would do it for my Mom. 

As I wrote that last sentence, I realize that if my Mom or Dad needed help or were dying, my cousins wouldn't lift a finger unless they knew they could get something out of it. Unless there were pills or items to steal. Or unless they were getting paid. Or maybe I knew it all along. 

Lastly, there is something diabolical in the way my youngest cousin has her elder sister wrapped around her finger. Shi-chan, as always, defends and protects her sister, despite all the horrible things said and done. The lies, theft, or down right abuse her younger sister has done to her, she will always be on her side. I get sisterly devotion, but for fuck's sake, I haven't done any of that crap to her, nor has my mom, and yet, every time we are upset with her sister or get into it with her sister, she chooses her over everyone else. It's sickening.