Wednesday, July 11, 2018

As much of an update as I can manage.


A lot of stuff has happened in the last two months, all of which has added heavy weights to limbs scratching for the surface of my depression. I’m going to try to put piece it together so I can attempt to make sense of it all.
·         Some friends and I are dealing with the loss of connection with another of our tribe. Some feel that we’re not good enough, all of us are concerned, and some are angry and hurt, or confused. It’s hard not to feel resentment and angry toward the things that created that loss. Maybe it isn’t for us to know or understand. We’ll just have to nurse hurts, pick ourselves up on our end, and love said friend as we always have. But things are different, I feel it, I know it, and I’m still struggling with a lot of it.
·         I’ve had an overwhelming sense of feeling lost. I can’t explain it. I’m not sure which way to turn and can’t seem to decide which path is best because they all look damning. Doesn’t help when others keep stepping in to decide for you and will not shut up long enough for you to actually think and make the decisions you know you can make for yourself if only they would let you breathe.
I am angry because people want me to tell them what I need but how can I say when I don't even know? I do not expect people to be mind readers. I don't expect them to fix it all for me- its not their job and I don't want them to. I know I don't think and feel the same everyone else does, but damn, does anyone have to know the answers or know what they need? Perhaps I am being selfish in my slow sink and not considering others' feelings. But I thought I was by not wanting to bother them and drag the down with me. If that's wrong, I wish someone would tell me. 
·         In-laws have taken over my house and I was powerless to stop them. So, in classic fashion, I rebelled a little and refused to do much of anything. Which in turn got Amanda chewed out. Which then, in turn, got me chewed out. But what else are you supposed to do when the people around you are sucking the joy from your bones? And then, to top it off come snide comments. Fuck you, you won, shut the fuck up and leave me the fuck alone!
·         I had to change medical insurance to keep my therapist because the company I had was doing shady things and about to get into trouble. In doing so, I had to report that Amanda and I got married. That cost me my medical insurance.
·         My stress began manifesting in hot patches of skin and hives.
·         My therapist badgered me to seek out new health insurance and I spent two weeks fighting with the market place people trying to find something we could afford. There is NOTHING we can afford. The deductible is 2 grand, the monthly cost just for me is more than we can swing. There just isn’t money for it. PERIOD.
·         I had a gall bladder attack and ended up in the ER, not know what the hell was going on only that I couldn’t breathe and was passing out.
·         I learned my Grandpa had fallen while sick.
·         My Grandpa died either the next day or the day after- I can’t really remember.
·         We flew to Kansas and spent 4 days. The only blessing was feeling my Grandpa sit down beside me at his funeral, seeing my Grandma, and my parents and cousins for a tiny bit.
·         My Grandma told me every day I was there that Grandpa wished he could have seen me before he died, because I was his girl.
·         Came home and losing Grandpa began to finally register. I couldn’t deal, so I threw myself desperately into writing. It’s the only thing keeping me together.
·         A couple of days later I had another gall bladder attack which resulted in surgery that evening.
·         I did not handle the anesthesia well. There are bruises on my body I can’t account for and the medical staff told me I woke up “wild” and that they had to bring two extra nurses in to hold me down. I did not know where I was or what was going on. I’m scared I hurt someone because if that much effort was used to keep me still, I came out fighting.
·         I got to go home the next day and accident slept on my stomach that night.
·         Second day after surgery was hell. It was not the worst pain I have felt, but close, and bad enough that I was panicking and scared the shit out of Amanda’s Mom. I could not remember when I had taken aleve or when I had taken a pain pill or how many. She counted them and said I was okay, but it was still scary. I’m ALWAYS so careful with pain meds.
·         I’ve been having horrible nightmares since surgery, the kind that leave you upset for days.
·         One of the pieces of tape over my incision sites fell off too soon and I had to put something over it to help keep the wound closed and prevent infection.  
·         I’ve been freaking out a little over the fact that I have been sleeping so much- even though I know I need sleep to heal- and losing writing time.
·         We just learned that my depression/fibro med is going t cost us 240 dollars a month with a prescription assistance card for the generic. We couldn’t afford 130 a month for medical insurance. So now we have to find a different depression med and a medication for fibro that won’t make me gain all the weight I just lost back, that s affordable, or see if there isn’t something- some program- out there to help me stay on my meds. Being without them isn’t an option right now.
·         And I am without my meds today. I’m starting to go through withdrawal while Amanda scrambles at work to find out if an online discount pharmacy is a legitimate and the real deal.
·         I just learned from one of my best friends what she might have ovarian cancer and that there is something wrong with her youngest daughter’s spine. She doesn’t have test results back yet for her or her daughter.
·         I’m worried about my parents and my Grandma. I’m worried about my friend and her kids.
·         I’m worried about the two hospital bills.
The good news:
-          I’m writing  
-          I’m getting lost in music
-          I still love my in laws and am thankful for them taking care of me when I’m sick. At least there is that.
-          Amanda is amazing and she’s putting up with me.
-          UPDATE on meds: Amanda got it worked out and my doctor’s office was super helpful to her.    

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