My little house is naked- don't mind the furniture, we have set that out as 'free' and have actually already shed a few items already. Anyway, we hired a company to come out and take down our dead and dying pine trees. They had been attacked by pine beetles and that was a problem before we purchased the house 5 years ago. The grass is dead, which annoys me, but we can't seem to figure out where to turn on the water for the front outside faucet. We've had a couple friends look, my father-in-law, and nope.
But, I suppose it works in our favor because now that the trees are down, we're going to deal with the stumps, rake all of the pine needles and mulch out, and next year, plant some roses and or ferns, and Selene (aka Amanda), wants two weeping cedars to frame the house. We're looking at non-grass options that don't have to be watered all the time as well. But not gravel or concrete. we have enough concrete that heats up and makes the house hotter in summer. And we are replacing that bullshit of an excuse hand rail the previous owners installed to pass the FHA inspection. Of course I want to set up a couple more bird feeders so the cats have 'tv'. I am a bit sad they can't bitch at the squirrels in the mean time. We had two that would chase each other up and down one of the trees and the cats lots their shit over it.
On to doctors and weight. I've heard so many things about weight and weight loss over the years and I've had so many 'helpful' people try to push diet schemes on me or 'advice', enough to make my head spin. I've read 'scientific evidence' articles- usually associated with diet plans to make them sell and some real science, heard speculation on phycological factors, genetic factors, ect... But what my ex-doctor and Selene's current doctor told her makes me ACTUALLY want to drive over to his office and just punch him.
When I had him as a doctor, he was on me from day one about my weight and seeing the nutritionist. And it was basically his mantra for every visit regardless of what I was actually seeing him for. He is from Vietnam, hates the American diet, and is a little twig of a man. I always tried to remember that every time I saw him, and just let shit roll off, especially when he'd do the doctor/mansplain thing over EVERYTHING. Eventually, I got sick of it because he wasn't actually doing anything to truly help me. I guess that's what you get when you go to them more affordable 'community health' clinic. Still, he was refilling my blood pressure medicine- of which I am on the lowest dose and am working to be off of. Oh and he stopped prescribing my heartburn meds, which really aggravated me in that I have GERD and literally water gives me heartburn and without those meds I am sick all the time and can't eat. But long term use of that medication is really not good for your stomach and has caused some big problems. But he wouldn't give me anything else as a measure to deal with the GERD.
Anyway, I asked for a female doctor, because I wasn't getting anywhere with that guy, and I wanted to talk to someone who actually had 'female' issues. I was never given hormone replacements after my hysterectomy because "you're fat and fat stores estrogen, you'll be fine". But am I? Have I been? Is that really the right thing to do? Anyone I've talked too is surprised. New female doctor was too when she heard that and said she was going to investigate it. That was several months ago and I haven't heard anything from her. So, I'm guessing she got busy and forgot, which is fine, the way people are funneled in and out of the clinic, its a wonder they remember their own names. Oh and she too, wanted me to see the nutritionist.
So, when looing to set up nutritionist visits not just for myself but Selene as well, we ran into a problem. There is 1, for all the clinics in the city. He only works 2 days of the week and both those days and the time bracket he works in is when Selene works. That's really stupid. And more than that, we already know that he's going to tell us, and it's stuff I've been frighting with her to implement for YEARS! Last night she was lashing out at me because of what her doctor said- which I will get to in a minute- and the fact that she didn't think there were enough carbs in dinner. There were plenty. I cut up 6 fingerling potatoes to toss roast with carrots, bell peppers, and chicken. Even the seasoning packet had a few carbs in that it had a little sugar in it. I kept the eggplant and mushrooms on the side for me. But she thought we needed rice or more potatoes. We really didn't and I wouldn't budge. Besides, she got fresh fruit after dinner.
So when I asked about why she was lashing out, keep in mind her last doctor's visit was 2 months ago, she told me. (You'd think, after 15 years together her communication would be better, ha ha, think again). She said he told her people are fat because of sexual trauma. Excuse me?! While that might be the case for some people, it is certainly NOT the case for her and many others. He is completely ignoring any and all other factors, just threw out a blanket assumption- which was WRONG- without doing any proper investigating. That makes me want to scream!
I know why she's fat. Her parents both have eating disorders that stem from scarcity of food growing up. Her mother doesn't want to cook anything unless it is easy and or generally comes from a box. Her Dad doesn't really cook much of anything but is a goat. Her general diet growing up consisted mainly of carb loaded foods that were bland and she, like her parents, has a monster sweet tooth. When we got together, she thought mashed potatoes came from a box. She didn't know you could cut the potatoes, boil them, and then mash them. She could eat a whole package of cookies, by herself, in one sitting. By the time I came into the picture both her parents were diabetic and chugging down diet sodas like they were lost in the desert and any water was toxic. AND she's been on various depression medications since she was in her early teens. She's been 'warned' by her mother that she'd going to be prediabetic and diabetic for YEARS if she doesn't eat better. Kettle black. And more than that, thanks for putting that out in the universe. THAT is why she is fat. Not sexual trauma.
As a doctor he should know better. And as a doctor, he should know that a vast number of the medications he prescribes all have, among many other not so stellar side effects, the side effect of weight gain- especially if it is one of the more common depression medications. But, because I do a little of my own research and look at side effects of medications when prescribed so I know the positives and negatives of taking the medication and also know that doctors are trained to 'treat fat first' instead of the actual problems, and have had nothing but a string of doctors who refuse to actually listen to me for over the last decade about my fucking period until I started taking picture of my crime scene bathroom and ended up in the ER and having that doctor mansplain me but take a blood test and come back to eat his fucking words and tell me- uh yeah, you're actually bleeding to death, you might want to get that hysterectomy fast tracked and then learned that I had precancer... *Silent rage scream in head* Here we are. And don't even get me started on the lack of care my mother is paying NOT to have for her health problems.
I don't like doctors anymore. I don't really trust them. They make assumptions. They don't listen. And they also don't work with you to find proper solutions. they just want to throw a band aid on the problem and shoo you out of the office so they can do the same for the next patient and so on and so forth. It is disgusting. but our health care system isn't health care, it is health profit and keeping people miserable and fat, keeps them dependent on that system. We are all cash cows for them.
I haven't ranted/vented like this on a blog for a long time. Kind of feels good to get frustrations out, but it doesn't really change anything. Selene needs a new doctor and we're going to try and get her one soon. I also want to see about getting a different one, not at the clinic. I am thankful the cost of visits at the community health clinic have been more affordable- we are private pay because it is actually cheaper for us to just pay out of pocket than pay for health insurance- but we really do just need to suck it up and go to regular doctor's office again. We both got better care that way. Besides, we don't need to go to the doctor that often. We've been fortunate in that regard. Mostly we go once or twice a year for check ins. Again, I am grateful for that. And it's not like we don't put forth any effort toward our weight loss goals. We do actually. We could do better, but, like all people, we could do better with everything in life.
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