On women, the economy, and gay marriage...

When I've been able to sit at the computer for any length of time I usually hop around Facebook. I like to catch up on the doings and events of friends and family and you got me, I play Sims and Castleville. Don't judge, sometimes a little mindless point and click game is more relaxing and distracting than you know. Anyway, I have several friends who just love to post things from "Americans Against the Tea Party", "Being Liberal", and "Americans Against Islamaphobia". I don't really mind these posts too much and pretty much ignore them for the most part. Except the one saying Jesus is Middle Eastern posted by Being Liberal-  No shit! You don't have to have paid attention in Sunday school to figure that out. 

Well, okay there have been some other posts posted by friends and family that I have read, else I wouldn't be at this point. That said, I do have one friend in particular who loves to spam with messages from these pages. She's often put up a warning stating that if people don't like it then they can unsubscribe from her page. That's all fine and dandy but once you unsubscribe, you don't get her actual status messages anymore either and since she is a friend that I do care about, I haven't unsubscribed. I just have the good sense to ignore a good majority of what she posts and keep my opinions to myself... Or at least I do now because to have an adverse opinion with this girl is kind of a crime. She's pretty much told me that if I don't agree with her and refuse to see it her way, to quietly message her privately. That was not one of her shining moments in being a good friend and frankly, since then its become abundantly clear that she can't handle anyone calling her on her bullshit or giving her any opposite opinion. Frankly, she's a fanatic, a zealot even when it comes to almost everything. A few of us just let her say whatever it is she wants to say whether or not we agree or actually know better. Call that being a bad friend all you want, but you try arguing with a chihuahua who has lock jaw, you'll give up too. 

So, in knowing several of these happy spammers, I see a lot of things I don't agree with and tons of propaganda that shits on Republicans and anyone else not 'of their ilk' and all of them glorifying President Obama. I also see a lot of posts advocating 'good causes' or spreading 'awareness'. Some more recently and most definitely covering a couple of topics in the news is the subject of women and their rights and so on. 

Yes, I am a woman. Yes, I do believe in equal rights for all. But all these new problems we are having, the abortion issue (which has been around for decades), birth control, paying women equally in the work force, and now 'Your opinion doesn't count because you're a stay at home Mother/house wife' is all a ploy. 

Now, before people get their panties in a wad, I'm not saying these issues aren't out there, that they aren't fair or right or moral and all that jazz. What I am saying is, I believe that the government and people in politics and  power are making outlandish laws and proposals to distract the American people from the major issues like gay marriage and the economy. If they can 'save' us poor defenseless women from the evil workings of the Republicans and religious power mongers, then they will be our saviors and we'll vote for them, never mind that a good deal of them probably don't give a rats ass about anyone but themselves. And in distracting us, we will not pester them so hard about gas prices, the economy, and whether or not they are going to sell us out or destroy our nation by converting it to communism, the things we really need to be calling them out on. 

My response to the ones in power, "You're trying too hard, you might want to start rethinking that strategy".   

Disability

I am patiently waiting to go home. We've been visiting friends all weekend and I would have preferred to have been home last night. But as with most things, it doesn't hurt me to want... or does it? I'm out of pain medicine. I called it in before we left Friday afternoon but my pharmacy is two hours away and I pretty much want to vomit and cry, I hurt so much today. I think it is a testament to exactly how much patience I have with my Gf and friends no not be pitching a fit.

Since visiting these friends, a set of twins, I've really noticed some things. One is a bit lazy and doesn't like to take her dog outside, which leads to said dog having accidents on the floor. The other twin is typically the one who has to clean it up. This other twin is also the one who I've only seen cleaning the house, cooking, and doing the dishes. I really don't think that's all that fair, but it's not my house, and I am just making an observation.

Either way, it reminds me of exactly how one sided chores are becoming between myself and my Gf. I can't do as much around the house any more because of my back. Some days I have problems dressing myself, showering, and going to the bathroom. It is humiliating to not even be 30 years old and have to have someone help you with the simple things I should be able to take care of myself. And, I really hate asking my gf to do anything because I know it gets old and frustrating. Worse, I really hate waiting on her. I always say if I combined the time I've spent waiting on my mother and my Gf... I want that half of my life back.

My back isn't always so debilitating. I have weeks where the pain is tolerable and I can move around pretty well. I try to do a lot in those weeks from cleaning, to getting out to do things, ect... And sometimes I think, I might be able to go back to school or get a job and then I move wrong, sleep wrong, or something and I'm back to being a useless lump again. It's bad enough, that my own father, who ground into me that not being in school or working was shameful and that trying to get on disability when you're not seriously disabled is a crime, tells me I need to apply. 

I feel like I am not seriously disabled because I am and have been working to make my back better, because I have days and weeks where I can move around like a normal person. I also feel like if I do get accepted for disability, then it is the end for me, that I am saying that I am giving up and there are no more options left. Now I'm not saying that any of my friends who are on it have given up and I certainly don't look down on them. Each friend who is on it, is on it legitimately and for good reason.

But me? I can't work, I can't go to school, no matter how hard I try. Some days, I can't even sit up for long periods of time. So what do I do? Kill what's left of my self esteem and bend and apply and spend the next several months to possibly years fighting to get disability? Or keep on like this? Either way, I'm going to be a depressed, useless burden to someone.

Kind of makes any wants, plans, or goals seem really pointless. Especially that Vlog channel I made. I don't even know how I am going to have reasonable content when I am stuck at home being a bump on a log. *Sigh*

Good news, I guess Guild Wars 2 is STILL on pre-order. I don't know why they are getting everyone so excited. They've only done a limited amount of beta testing with people and still haven't set a release date. 

Back trouble again

I actually have a little to write about but my back has been acting up so much lately, that  I am having trouble sitting up for long lengths of time.

Brief update: I created a page on Youtube to do Vlogs, haven't started filming yet for obvious reasons. I'm working a novel when I can. Also, I've had to make a major decision in my life that has pretty much ruined what is left of my self esteem. But I will go more in depth with that at a later date. I need to go lay down again.