Tornado dreams, hiding in the fridge, inspiration and little joys

Throughout my life I've had nightmares about tornadoes, some reoccurring. A lot of the time they were hunting me down and there was no where I could hide. Sometimes they had faces, one had a gazillion eyes that turned into birds. Sometimes there several tornadoes coming for me and no matter where I turned, I couldn't get away. I used to think it was because I grew up in Tornado Alley, a section of the U.S. that has the proclivity for tornadic activity. I've seen their damage first hand and watched one form, do its thing, and dissipate -which for a young teenager stuck in an RV with her Grandparents on our way to Colorado with no place to go, is pretty terrifying. 

Last night I had another tornado dream. But this time I was in a trailer that got picked up, thrown, and somehow everyone inside survived the smash back into the ground. But that wasn't the only unsettling part of the dream, we were hiding from someone and apparently thought crawling into refrigerators and stuffing ourselves in crisper drawers as going to save us. There was something about a bus too. So I looked up the dream intperatation of Tornadoes on this app I have on google. 

To see a tornado in your dream, suggests that you are experiencing some extreme emotional outbursts and temper tantrums. Is there a situation or relationship in your life that may be potentially destructive? To dream that you are in a tornado, signifies that you are feeling overwhelmed and out of control. You will be met with a series of disappointments for the next week or so. Your plans will be filled with complications. To see several tornadoes in your dream, represent people around you who are prone to violent outbursts and shifting mood swings. It may also symbolize a volatile situation or relationship.  -What Dreams Mean.

Yeah, that's actually spot. I'm not sure I want to buy into the week ahead forecast though. And it make sense for other points in my life when I have had those dreams, especially the people part. 

On a happier note, Amanda and I spent most of yesterday cuddling and watching Anime. It was so nice, even if it was a time suck. I get ridiculously excited, sill, and happy when I watch fluffier anime. But anime in general makes me happy and often gives me some form of inspiration. the one we watched yesterday had an aspiring manga artist in it and we learned a few things about manga construction we didn't know. Well, I'm not manga artist but I have had ideas for a graphic novel and I've always wanted to design my own novel covers. I have also wanted to make something special for Amanda and I started that present last night. I also told her about it- it is a chibi version on her. I sketched it out on canvas last night. I'll remove the pencil smudges and then it will be ready for paint. 

  

Inspiration at the most inconvenient time, creating a new schedule, creating a space, dreams

art by Yuehui Tang

Here we are again, back to the sleepless night. This time, at least, it was because my brain took a flying leap down a rabbit hole. It began with the thought of how cold I was and that I really should get my ass in gear and make that Halloween/Gothic quilt I've been meaning to make. From there I pondered if I wanted to do some embroidery, and then I got to thinking about Christmas/ Yule presents I need to get started on. Of course from there I had to text myself from Amanda's phone some ideas which in turn made think of the embroidery patterns I have and that I should resize them and e-mail them to myself so I can print them out at the library tomorrow. And I also remembered that I need to resize a free envelope template I found earlier tonight. Then it was back to me being cold, not really tired, and that I should just get up for a little bit, get this stuff done, and then try to sleep again.  My brain seems to be the most active between 11 and 2 am when it comes to anything creative. Which has to be a left over habit from when I used to do the most writing during this time of night. I did that for years. 

I've decided, after all the depression crap last week, that I need to create and establish a new schedule. If I don't do it tonight, I will be doing it tomorrow. I've also decided that while I do like google calendar and will probably still use it, I really do prefer to have a planner. I love the planner I have purchased the last two years, but I really want something more personalized this year. My aim this year is to buy a fairly cheap one from wal-mart, nothing spectacular, and get some sticker paper, and print out planner stuff from online. Making some stickers of my own might be kind of fun too and would force me to dig out my digital art tablet.   

All of this being said, there's a been a bit of unrest for me within my house. I haven't quite found a space that feels right to do a lot of work. The kitchen table is nice but I can't really work on stuff there all the time. My desk is wonderful, but the bedroom is a disaster and lately Narcisa enjoys walking across or standing right on my keyboard. On top of that, I don't really have a spot to put up my writing manifestation board. I will figure it out, the important thing for me is to get off the sofa and into my desk chair if only because I tend to sit up straight more frequently and for longer periods of time. I also get up more and that will help with keeping my circulation moving.

Lastly, a couple of nights ago, I had a really interesting dream. I don't remember what I was doing, only that I told someone in my dream that I needed to get my camera, and get outside to try and get pictures of the supermoon. When I went out, there was a fully bloomed rose in the moon, much like that house is in the moon in the pictures above. It was interesting. I can't remember if I got pictures or not or what happened after. But I looked up the meanings on dream dictionary app on chrome. Together you can't really look up the meaning, but if you break it down, into rose and moon, then you get this:

Rose

The rose in dreams carries with it a great deal of symbolism. It suggests Perfection and Passion, Life and Death, Time and Eternity. It also represents the heart, the centre of life and as a psychological symbol symbolizes perfection. It contains within it the mystery of life and its grace and happiness.

 Moon

The moon represents the feminine and the spiritual self. How the moon appears to you in your dream suggests how close or distant you are from your inner feelings. For example, seeing a full moon means that you are closely in touch with your instincts and inner emotions.

In my case, lately I have thought a lot about life and death, not just for myself, but for family. I've thought about time, losing time or wasting it, and in so far as passion and perfection, I would say that I have spent sometime worrying over my passion for writing, and my constant need/desire/obsession to improve, to make it perfect, and so on. Where the moon comes in to play, I've been working on a spiritual aspect of my life. that I saw a full moon and have now learned what that means, soothes a great upset I've had for a long time. Some shit went down and for awhile someone made me distrust my own instincts and since then I have been trying to let that go, to move on and learn to trust them again and connect and deal with emotions and hurts I have buried for a long time.