Panic at the desk, a sliced finger, and a hot, stale-air night.

A lot has been going on this week! We've have all been in and out of the house more than usual. Part of that was because home wasn't quiet enough or interruption free enough for me to get homework finished. Skoora's mother made it clear last Sunday that she doesn't see my homework of import. So, I drug a friend who has been staying with us to the library twice this week in effort to get some reading and work done. That works until the middle and high school vagabonds get out of school. There was actually a kid who sat near us detailing to a girl who he was apparently trying to impress, how much he'd cheated on his last girlfriend and he was spewing bullshit personal and religious philosophy. I didn't hear everything since I was trying to concentrate but I just want to go up to this kid and ask him if he could hear how utterly idiotic he sounds and then tell the girl that if she was impressed by this, then she was a complete moron and needed to get her head examined. I didn't. But I did leave when a gaggle of girls ran around giggling and chatting between the shelves with no respect for anyone else. My local library isn't that large so eventually someone would catch them so I didn't feel the need to report them to the front desk. 

If there is one thing that I hate most it's that I have panicked over homework. Yes, I got a head start on some of it. No it's not particularly hard or even out of my range of capability. But I could not seem to figure out what to write for my workshop class and as much as I love thee text book, I hate it too. It's made me far more self conscious than I should have been for a first draft. It actually took a panic attack, that release of emotion, and a phone call to my Mom for my head to clear out enough for me to even get an idea. I've been like this for quite awhile now and it's really disconcerting.

All of that said I've managed to get half of my humainities homework finished, read what I needed to read for my fiction workshop class, and even get an outline and first draft of a story written. However, I don't like the end and want to do some edits to clean the story up as well as tighten it. Of course, I need to fix the ending as well and I absolutely must do it tonight! I also need to finish the humanities homework tonight too. Why? Because a couple of friends, Skoora, and I are going to Medical Lake for Beltane tomorrow! It'll be a whole day of play and relaxation. I'm a little nervous of how many people are going to be there but at the same time, I really want to spend time with a few people I've been getting to know recently. Plus, MAYPOLE! Who can say no to that?! Lots of people, I know. Buy they are missing out! 

Going to the library hasn't been the only errands we've been running or will be running today. We've gone to Liberty Lake to pick up a bed for a friend, done general errands, and been to the grocery store. I hate going to the grocery store on the first of the month but when you haven't any food in the house, it's pretty much a necessity. So I braved the crowds and thankfully no one got too close or touched me this time. When I got home, we put groceries away and I split up the meat for meals to put in the freezer for later. I ran out of tin foil so I had to use parchment paper and saran wrap for wrapping and ended up slicing my finger on the serrated edge on the saran wrap box. I wasn't cut too deep but it stung and bled pretty well for a bit. Skoora had to come and help me with band aids and to finish with the meat. 

Last night our bedroom fan broke in the middle of the night. I was so upset. The weather is getting warmer here and Skoora is a freaking furnace! I did not sleep very well to say the least and with the humidity and no air currents in the room, I felt as if I couldn't breathe many times. Skoora checked the fan for me, it's toast!

Today I am buying a new fan either from a second hand store or from wal-mart. Probably from wal-mart because I just don't have the time to run to every second hand store in town trying to find a fan. I also have to take our friend that's stayed over home to drop off her groceries and laundry and then take her to work. After that, I am driving to Kellogg to pick up another friend and bring her into town for the weekend. She needs to run to a pawn shop and to wal-mart also. After all of that, we'll be donating plasma at 7 tonight and then I get to come home and make dinner. And finally after all of that is said and done and I can sit and relax, I'll be finishing up homework and trying to get to bed early so I can get up early and cook tomorrow before we head out.

Even now, I have to book it to get off here, eat, get dressed, and get out of here. ACK!

Let's play catch up: A little behind and a little caught up.

Art by Stephanie Pui-Mun Law

For one, this is me giving myself a few more minutes on the heating pad before I hit the shower. Last night, I don't know what I did but one of the times I got up from my desk I almost couldn't walk. I'm very sick of this herniated disk business. I'm also very sick of fibromyaglia and whatever is going on with my internal female bits. A friend suggested I look into PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and speak with a doctor, well a more specialized doctor. But these are just normal, everyday ailments and complaints about them and I am done, for this post.

Love Stephanie Pui-Mun Law's art work! We just recently and finally bought her Shadowscapes Tarot cards. I am in love with them! The art is simply lovely!

A lot has happened since I last posted. I dyed my hair black again and had a friend put blue streaks in it. That was an adventure in itself. I like it but now that my skin is less smurf- like (rinsed my hair out in the shower having forgotten that manic panic stains like a snarky bitch) some of the blue has faded. It's kind of a dusty teal color in places. If I decide to do this again, I think I will get a better quality bleach and go with Special Effects hair dye. I didn't seem to have as many problems with it when I did the tips of my hair red.

Skoora's parents decided that we needed to switch bedrooms. Part of me wonders "Why now? After all of this time and now that we are working on moving out?" The other part of me isn't going to fuss because now we have so much more room and can actually move. Did I mention that the door has a lock on it? More privacy! We also have an actual closet and because we have it, our clothing is not in the bath tub. We had to hang our clothes up in bath tub area of our old bathroom because we just didn't have closet space in our old room. So now we have two fully functional bathrooms, Skoora's parents have their own shower as do we.

My 30th birthday came and went. No, I'm not upset or ashamed to admit my age. I'm actually quite comfortable with it. I don't really see myself as an "older person". I don't view aging as a bad thing, it doesn't bother me. Besides, I've heard tale that 30 is the new 20. Did I mention that Skoora and her Mom threw me a surprise party? It was really nice!

I'm going back to school online much to annoyance of my parents. All my life both of them, including my Grandparents, harped on me the necessity of having a college degree. I remember telling my Dad as I was getting ready to graduate high school that I didn't want to go to college because I didn't want to be in debt but he made me go anyway. Now, now he and my Mom don't want me to go because I will be in even more debt than I am now. Well, so what. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't care, I do and very much so, but I still don't have my degree (my fault since I've tried to be and study things everyone else wanted and not entirely what I wanted and there were some life things that happened that made me quit going). So I am going back for the degree I want and since I have physical problems that caused me to quit last time I went to school, I'm doing it online. I've decided that I'm just going to do this whether or not my parents like it. It is my life after all and I have to deal with all outcomes positive or negative and I can't keep living it the way everyone else wants. I've felt tugged in so many different directions for so long, it's time to do some things for myself.

I've fallen a little behind with a lot of things since I had a friend visiting for my birthday and shortly after she left, we changed bedrooms. Our bedroom is almost 100% put back together. We have a tiny bit left to move back in (just a few boxes and bags of stuff). I'm behind on blog writing but I've managed to be on top of getting everything into the new college that they needed (for the moment). I know how much it's going to cost to get the cavities in my teeth filled. I have an eye exam today in which I will probably be ordering a new pair of glasses (it will be so nice to not have to squint to see stuff far away) and sun glasses. I was thinking about just getting contacts but I think they will cost more in the long run, especially since I have to have to torric lenses. I like the sun, but I have a love-hate relationship with it. It hurts my eyes and burns my skin within 15 minutes of being out in it. Sometimes I even break out in hives where I've burned. Not fun.

Other things have happened but they are for other posts and I need to get into the shower and dressed in a few minutes since Skoora's Mom just took her shower. Have to wait for the hot water.