Vampires, Star wars, lucid dreaming, dialing up the empath and feeling better

At the risk of sounding wacko to anyone who doesn't believe in such things, I'm a bit of an empath, in so much as I can generally sense when something is wrong with the people around me mood wise. It is especially strong when I am very close to a person such as my parents or Amanda. Yesterday, Amanda was throwing off a lot of ick and I was picking it up. She's stressed about a lot of things and sometimes takes stuff out on me. I am guilty of the same, it's not something that I am proud of and it is something that I am trying to work on. My nerves have been especially raw as of late because I've felt backed into a corner per se, hence the little emotional outburst of last night's blog. I've also been dealing with a lot of feelings of loss and feeling like a lot of me has been stripped away, taken away, or that I've had to give up some things that I wasn't ready or prepared to give up. It's been getting worse and I feel as though I am floundering in the "who am I" and "what the fuck is going on" and "why the hell is this happening" department. Like I've said before, I need therapy. But I digress. the point it, yesterday was a bad day for both Amanda and I and we both decided that we need to trust each other more than we have been. 

But like the title states, I am feeling a lot better this morning.  

On to the bizarre! I think I had my first lucid dream last night. Perhaps not totally conscious, but aware enough to realize that I was considering changing the outcome of the dream. And what a wacky dream it was. I was in the Star Wars universe but also in my childhood neighborhood running around with Jedi. We were trying to stop an attack of demons, vampires, although I'm not totally sure why or what for, only that it was really intense, and there were vampires and demons on our side. So bad demons and vampires vs the good and the Jedi order? Anyway, a girl got torn up and died. It was so sad, it was so intense, and in a way tragically romantic because she died in the arms of a boy she liked. I remember thinking whether or not it would be better if she were made into a vampire and brought back or if the story would have more intense punch if she remained dead.  I never truly decided before I woke up. I told Fiona about it this morning and she sing sang "fan fiction" at me. 

Honestly, it was just the coolest dream I have had in a really long time. So much better than the dreams where tornadoes are chasing me. 

It's starting to feel like home...

This is our Yule/Christmas tree. Yes, that is technically a Halloween tree (a friend gave it to us last year) but our Yule/Christmas tree hadn't made it over yet and I kind of missed out on a lot of Halloween this year. Plus, purple lights! anyway, I also decided that while we are unpacking, I might as well decorate for Yule/Christmas so I don't have to do it later. So far, so good, I think. Although, I don't really have suitable pictures of the rest of the house yet. The camera on my phone is crappy and I just haven't had the time or energy to find my Nikon and take proper pictures (sorry about the poor picture quality here). I will this week.

The move went pretty well. I think only one thing got broken and it was small. We had some help, which was much appreciated. However, it is taking forever to unpack because Amanda works full time and I have been doing homework. We have also had to run back to Amanda's parents house and go to the family Christmas party. We've done some shopping, went out to find fire wood, run errands, and had company. And to top it all off, I have been having computer problems. So I am going to try and break things down in a short list and explanations because I have lots to do today.

1. Windows 10 and my computer hate each other. After upgrading to Windows 10 for free, at the recommendation of a friend, my computer began to rage war. Display drivers crashed repeatedly and I got the blue screen of death several times. Also, I could sit right in front of the wireless router and have no internet. Apparently this is a problem for Toshiba and Windows 10 because it's on their website. One of my friends came over to downgrade me back to Windows 8.1. But then we had to download drivers, I had to reinstall Microsoft office only for some reason our product key didn't want to work, so I spent an hour and half on the phone with a nice lady who I couldn't totally understand. We had to link my computer to hers so she could do things on mine. Then here were the updates and oh yes, I had to go and turn the program off that looks for updates for me because it was eating up all the CPU and I couldn't do anything. Now, it's fixed. I think. But this computer is weird and Amanda is going to get me a new one for my birthday. So I just have to keep this one running until March. 

2. We have lots of books. We have 4 of the tall, 5 shelf bookcases full of books. Well the bottom row on at least three of those bookcases has Amanda's vinyl records on them. We keep finding boxes that have books in them so Amanda thinks we are going to need at least two more bookcases. It was so funny because when we were getting some things we needed for the apartment, I told her we were going to need at least 4 bookcases. She didn't want to believe me. We were going to have the second bedroom be an office, but Amanda thinks at this point, it's just going to have to be a craft/ library. I'm okay with that. 

3. We have had lots of company. Our friend Chris comes over at least once or twice a week, which is great because she is one of our most low maintenance friends.  She's very calm, very laid back and all around good company. Birdy and Dram live a couple of block away and have been coming over almost every day to help me unpack or help with my computer. Sometimes not a lot of unpacking gets done because I have just been so exhausted, but Birdy built two of my bookcases, the tv stand, and fixed my computer. She has also helped me out when I have had to do some homework by making me tea or coffee. She is going to come over today at some point too.  

We also had the twins come up for an over night stay. I think it was too soon. I was ready for them to leave when they left to have lunch with their grandmother. They came back after that, which really was fine. I just don't think we were ready to have over night company yet. 

4. Showers and cats go hand in hand for me now. Firstly, Narcisa loves to play in the bath tub, specifically she likes to attack the shower curtain liner and leave little paw prints all over the tub. Secondly, she likes to watch me show, as in sit on the side of the tub and stare. We had a kitty who did that some years ago, so this isn't a new thing, what is new, is that she thinks she wants to jump in with me while I am showering. Um no. I am already having a hard time taking showers as is. I actually had to take part of a nerve pill to take my first shower in this apartment. I have a thing with new bathtubs, it's like I have to get used to them before I am truly comfortable with them. Also, there is the slipping factor, the fact that I used to get burned every time I took a shower because someone would flush a toilet or turn on water somewhere else in the house, and a few other things. Amanda thinks it also has to do with my back. Either way it sucks and I need to get over it fast. 

5. I have been so tried lately. All the movement is good for me and I have enjoyed unpacking, moving stuff around and getting out to explore my new surroundings. But it is taking its toll. I am still dealing with PCOS, my fibromyalgia is flaring up- today I am hurting pretty badly, and my back is giving me grief. Something new has come about as well. My friend Chris thinks it is just my tendonitis but I have never had it hurt in my hand before. While tendonitius might be the case for my writs, I think I actually strained something in my hand. It happened in the move and I think I aggravate it when I get up from chairs. Even doing simple things seems to bother it. It is better, but it was cause for concern earlier in the week.

6. Family. My Dad's leg is doing better, apparently. I still think it looks awful. It's still hurting him terribly, but he's working and sounds kind of upbeat on the phone. 

I just got off the phone with my Mother and my cousin Shi-chan. I have been so excited and happy for my cousin Shi-chan, she has this amazing boyfriend, who is a friend of mine from  high school. Anyway, they are happy together and apparently he moved in with them. Most people who have been following me for awhile know how vicious my aunt can be. Apparently she was up to her usual shit of tearing into Shi-chan (you know emotional abuse) and Shi-chan's boyfriend stood up for her. Oh but my bitch of an anut just can't have that. She needs complete control over Shi-chan. so now she's calling everyone trying to find out the guy's last name so she can get a restraining order on him. she wants him out of her house now!  She wants to get a restraining order on her daughter boyfriend because he stood up for the daughter she was abusing... Yeah... fucking bitch!

My Grandparents seem to be doing well. They are taking their yearly snowbird trip to Texas. So far so good! Hopefully they have a nice, easy time, and have fun. Last year Grandma fell and hurt herself. I insist to the universe at large, that there will be none of that this year.

7. Finally, last night was a good night. I made Cavatini for dinner and then we played Start Wars Monopoly until midnight. That's late for us these days, really late. We didn't even finish the game, but I was kind of starting to fall asleep, so we had to call it quits. It was a lot of fun!