Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Sick, herbals, homework grief, unabashed ugly crying

To start tonight's... ehm... this morning's blog off, I am showing you a picture of tea. Not just any tea, semi-magical tea. When you whine on social media about how sick you are and one of your friends happens to be a licensed herbalist and lives near by, you get a middle of the night house call filled with instructions and stuff. Now, Amanda and I had already gone to the store and gotten this brand of tea's seasonal sampler, which was great because it had Throat Coat in it, but my friend brought this with her because it has yarrow in it. She also brought two things of ginger and an elderberry tincture. What's great about the elderberry tincture is that I had completely forgotten about it. We used to buy the juice when I was in high school and mix it with grape juice to make it more palpable. 

I started drinking the tea and taking the tincture per her instructions that night. The next morning I did feel better, but not a lot and since my drainage was a darker icky color, I decided to go to urgent care as well. Urgent care was lame. All they said- after asking me how I am sure that I am not pregnant, really?!- was that I have an upper respiratory infection. Well it was either that or a sinus infection. But they basically gave me cough syrup with codeine, sudafed, and a nose spray. I totally get the "some things don't need antibiotics", I really do, but since the only thing to read in the room was a single small poster detailing the how and way of that topic, I really didn't need a lecture about it. I also didn't ask for antibiotics, I asked what I was sick with precisely, mainly because with how utterly terrible I had felt, I was worried it might be trying to turn into the flu. No flu, thankfully. However, the biggest kicker of the whole urgent care issue, was the paperwork they sent me home with detailing if and when I should return. Every single thing that was listed, was why I went in. I was like really? 

Anyway, in conjunction with the nose spray, sudafed, cough syrup, and all the herbal stuff, I am feeling better but the crap is lingering. It also doesn't help that I have managed to give it to Amanda. So I am still coughing a a little bit, my throat is still raw, I am still coughing up stuff, and today I  apparently had a fever I didn't even know I had except for waking up from an unintended nap drenched in sweat, signaling that it broke. Lovely.

Moving on. Before said nap today I had that infamous unabashed ugly cry. Okay, it was more like sobbing and looking around my house asking no one "Whhhhhyyyy?!" in that really pathetic voice. I watched the last two episodes of Merlin today while eating my lunch and waking up. I really love that show and while I think it was a good ending, I was so unsettled by it. I can't discuss why because Amanda hasn't seen it and I want her, no need her to finish the series so I can talk to her about it. 

Lastly, because where would I be without a little venting, homework grief! Because I have been sick and not feeling well, because I have been worn out with all the stuff going on around my birthday, I got a little behind with some homework. Not a lot, but last week, I was really struggling with some of it. Basically, I was having trouble settling down to actually do and then not getting so frustrated that I could finish it. The problem is that I am taking a Literature class. You'd think that it would be easy for me. I love to read, to talk about books, to enjoy them and the experience I have with them, not analyze the ever living fuck out of them until it isn't fun anymore. Ever heard of beating a dead horse, well trust me Beowuf, Othello, and Frankenstein are so dead you couldn't being them back if you wanted to. What is worse, for whatever reason my first instructor couldn't finish out the term and they gave us some new instructor who pardon my french, fucked shit up, in my opinion, at least for me. He didn't like my paper proposal and not only did he not like the paper proposal, he erased the previous feedback from my previous instructor and downgraded me. 

So while I have been unhappily trudging through hoity toity, ego inflated, bullshit (doesn't anyone ever read something to just read it and enjoy things anymore?) about the three pieces of lit, and sick, this new guy has incited panic into my otherwise miserable as of late existence. I have freaked out about it so bad that its like pulling my own teeth to get myself motivated to get it done. I just plain don't want to do it. But I don't want to throw away all the previous work I've already put into the class either. 

Something I have learned about myself, is that sometimes, I need to talk it out verbally to get through some things. Talking it out, albeit after a little break down over it, helped. I got this week's assignment done and out of the way so I can focus on last week's assignments. Actually it wouldn't have been so bad had I not gotten sick the week that whoever wrote this class decided that putting 4 rather large assignments in one week with a shot ton of extra reading, was a great idea. And I simply loathe how they set up their final projects. They want to "scaffold learning" so they split up certain parts of the the final projects into certain weeks. Which in theory should work, unless you are me and used to doing things  certain way. As in giving an annotated bibliography before I've even read the material I'm basing my project on. I'm not kidding. And if I remember correctly, I didn't even have a response on my topic proposal from the first instructor until after the annotated bibliography was due. Further, it is pointless, in my opinion to give an annotated bibliography before you've read the material because you don't know exactly what points you are going to make or really even what to search for in the way of sources. You only have an idea, and shouldn't you get your own opinion in your head first before you start reading and being influenced by other people's opinions? You know think for yourself first, then see what other people have thought. 

Okay, I am finally getting tied, so I am going to finish my tea and go to bed. Tomorrow I get to tackle my other class. Which means reading and watching the Matrix then doing a discussion board post about it and avatar and modern films. Then I get to work on my rough draft for my LOTR paper, at least that make sense and is interesting.       

No comments:

Post a Comment