It's that season again!

Happy Yuletide or Holidays, which ever you prefer. It never ceases to amaze me how many people are still fighting over who's holiday it is, what the reason for the season is, or who started the holiday. Sorry my Christian friends, but Yule or the Winter Solstice did, in fact, begin with the pagans, the Egyptians to be exact and it was their celebration of the rebirth of Horus. It spread to the Babylonians Romans, Greeks and on and on it went. When the Christian's came about, they needed something to compete with pagan holidays and festivities so they chose December 25th. They actually did that with a lot of pagan holidays in their effort to gain converts. 

Over the years Christians and pagans have developed customs and symbols and mishmashed them together so much so that it's hard to tell who came up with what. For me it doesn't matter what belongs to what or who, for all, the season, no matter which faith you ascribe to, is about renewal, family, giving, and hope. But, like the Joker in Batman, the arguments between Christians and other religions, won't die. And for some people, they just can't let it go, to agree to disagree, which is pretty damn sad. 

I suppose I am fussing about it because I keep seeing my Christian friends plastering my wall with various 'in your face' messages about the holiday season. I appreciate their enthusiasm and their right to free speech, but not their snobbish attitude about it. It's kind of depressing and makes me believe that they've forgotten what the actual 'reason for the season' is. 

That being said, I am celebrating both pagan and christian holidays in my house. I will most likely celebrate Yule (Winter Solstice) with Skoora in the privacy of our room or we might go out. We will celebrate Christmas with her parents, who are Catholic. For all the complaining I do and all the aggravation I feel over Skoora's parents, they have never ever given me any lip about my religious beliefs. I've never had to hide my books in a box under the bed, hide the few items of jewelry I own, or well anything. Of course that probably has something to do with the fact that I respect their religious beliefs and practices, and don't shove mine in their face and get bitchy with them like their son and his wife did. (Sometime I would really like to talk about those two, but that'll be several blog posts long.)

All of that aside, we have almost all the Christmas/Yule presents taken care of. I think we just have Skoora's mom's stocking left. Since we're really broke, and that seems to be a common theme spreading throughout my family, I told Skoora not to worry about getting things for my family. They don't know it but I am in the process or will be making them things. All of it just takes time but I'm working where and when I am able. 

I have managed to make two craft pieces only so far and don't expect to get any more done this year, unless they happen to be someones present. I will feature them on my craft blog when I am able to get around to that. And I haven't made any seasonal food as of yet. I am planning on it, I would very much like to make wassail again. The last time I made it it was for a Yule party with some pagans back in Wichita but the person who was running it had something come up. So I was left with this giant pot of wassail that my Dad had helped me to make! It was really good and there was just so much of it that I don't think we were able to finish it all. I think it was even in the fridge for a month.  If I make it this time, it won't be that much to be sure. 

Oh, I am cooking Christmas dinner this year, so I have been perusing Pinterest and recipe sites to see what looks good. I don't want to do the same old things this year, but something different. 

Other than that, I have to write in a little in the holiday letter Skoora started. I was uber depressed earlier today because I didn't think I really had anything to write and if I did manage something I didn't think that anyone would really give a shit. (This is where my depression and anxiety have won over everything and smacked me around for a few days.) I whined as much on facebook and a couple of my friends kindly told me that wasn't true and a couple even gave me some ideas. An teacher from high school who has since turned good friend, got frustrated when I told a friend that it wasn't so much that I didn't have anything to write as it was that there's nothing overly positive about my current situation, and that my Grandmother ground into me that it wasn't good to tell people how things really were because they really didn't care and wouldn't want to hear about it. So in essence Grandma told me to hide things and lie. My teacher friend didn't like that and told me to just write what I felt and if I didn't like it in the end, I could scrap it and say 'I'm done with that'. It sounds good to me. 

One of my friends suggested that I write a Christmas story with all of my favorite characters. LOL, that wouldn't be as short a story as she thinks it might be and then the question is: anime characters, movies characters, TV show characters, or my personal characters from the books I've been writing or previous short stories or fanfics?  Or should I make up entirely new characters? Hmmm. I'm going to have to tell this friend of mine that she's a bitch (in a loving way) because I have been seriously considering this story idea and kind of don't have time to do write it. Foresee several nights no sleep in my immediate future.       

Taking Responsibility: Using Religion as a crutch.

I usually only talk about religion with people I am relatively close with. Or I have discussions with people I think will be calm, keep their head about them, and who might have a different perspective that is conducive to learning. I firmly believe that religion is a personal experience and journey and that it is one that you have to take yourself. If something doesn't feel right it is up to you and you alone to decide what does, whether it's converting to another religion, becoming simply spiritual, or believing in no religion at all. You are an adult and if you aren't an adult yet, you someday will be. There are decisions you have to make for yourself and certain personal responsibilities you'll have. 

Recently, with all the raving about whether or not gays should be allowed to marry, I've really taken note of just how two faced a few of my 'supposed' friend can be, but also how a lot of them are lacking in certain personal responsibilities. There is one friend in particular, we'll call her Millie, who not only lied to me, but uses her religion as a crutch for everyday life. 

How did she lie? She pretended that she supported my relationship with my girlfriend of almost six years. What she posted on facebook and wrote in her comments was awful and hurtful. I don't have anything against her posting what she wants on her facebook wall, it's her wall and her right. What upsets me is that she's lied to me consistently, pretended to be happy for me and supportive of my relationship and desire to marry all this time. I would have rather had her tell me straight up from the beginning her thoughts and feelings, her position on gay marriage  I would have accepted them and if she had still wanted to be friends, we might have been able to make a go of it. But, sadly, I had to remove her from my friends list and cut off all contact with her. 

And it wasn't just that she lied to me. I became so tried of getting on facebook and seeing tons of religious posts from her. At first I just ignored the pictures of this or that. But when she started commenting on the pictures, I was a little concerned for her. She isn't a happy person and seems to cycle between 'I love my husband, he's the best,' to 'why does everyone hate me,' and 'woe is me'. But the worst of it was when she start saying 'Why does God do this to me' or 'Why can't God just fix this' and so forth. 

I appreciate that she is religious, I respect her religion, and I respect her right to voice what ever options good or bad about her religion, God, and everything else. What I don't like, is that she seems to be relying on her religion to make her happy, to fix things for her, to govern her everyday life. 

There are a lot of people like her out there in the world. I would never call or think of them as being weak, just not getting the point. God can't fix you, God can't make things better for you, and God isn't going to tell you how to live your life day by day according to this situation or that. More importantly, God didn't make your life miserable, shit just happens sometimes.  Using your religion as that kind of a crutch isn't healthy. At some point you have to stop relying on it, realize these things, and take some responsibility for your actions, health, well being, and words, how you treat others, and make the kinds of decisions and take the steps you need to take to get what you need or want out of life. God isn't going to do it for you. He/She/They can't and won't.  

Are you a Pagan, Wiccan, or a Witch? What's the difference?

About a week or so ago my girlfriend, her best friend, best friend's little brother, and I were in the car trying to find a suitable place to park and get into the north fork of the Coeur d'Alene river to swim. My girlfriend and I had just come from another friend's house, a friend who I met via Witch Vox- a social networking and informational site for those of the Pagan, Wiccan, Witch persuasion or for people just seeking understanding and knowledge of the aforementioned things.  Anyway, my girlfriend was telling her best friend how pretty this other friend had decorated her house, that this other friend was a Witch or a Wiccan, she didn't know which or something to that effect. Her best friend jumped on her rudely stating that we had better find out because there is a difference.

How critical, how annoying, and how frustrating! My reply was that I met this other friend on a website and I couldn't remember if she'd told me what she was and that it didn't matter to me. I said that it is personal information and if said other friend wishes to impart that information on to me then she can and will do so when she feels it's necessary. Until then it doesn't matter and I'm not going to push to ask.

Well that made for a short and awkward silence. But it shut my girlfriend's friend up and my girlfriend got to finish describing how pretty our other friend's house is. However, while my girlfriend was regaling her best friend in all the neatness of this trinket or that picture, I got to thinking. I have never really, truly known the difference myself and I have actually read a little and done some research into Witchcraft/Paganism for a school paper and because I was simply curious. So I've been doing some research the last couple of days (when not dealing with some rather unfortunate turns of events) and this is what I have come up with, as I understand it. I could be wrong so don't quote me.

According to Dictionary.com the word Pagan has several different meanings. 1. One of a person or community observing a polytheistic religion, as  the ancient Romans and Greeks. 2. a person who is not Christian, Jew, or Muslim. There are two other definitions but they hardly apply as far as religion is concerned.


The word Witch means: 1. a person, now especially a woman, who professes or is supposed to practice  magic, especially black magic or the black art; sorceress. Compare warlock. 2. has nothing to do with religion either. 3. a person who uses a divining rod; dowser.  And further down the page: a Wiccan priest or priestess.  


The word Wicca means: witchcraft, especially benevolent, nature-oriented practices derived from pre-Christian religions. Or the cult or practice of witchcraft.


Those definitions aren't entirely true. In fact the term or label Pagan is actually an umbrella term, kind of like Christian is for those of the Christian faith, i.e. Protestant, Catholic, Lutheran, Quaker ect...
However, you can call a Wiccan a Pagan, but you can't call all Pagans Wicca and there is a reason for this.
Wicca was founded or rather 'brought to the public' by Gerald Gardner and as Jamie at Witchfulthinking writes, "is a dualistic religion which believes that all Gods are one God, and all Goddesses are one Goddess." She goes on to explain more differences but the point is: "Wicca is a specific body of ritual and liturgy with its own system of symbolism and ethics."

So in other words, if you are Wicca, or talking about someone who is Wicca, then you or they had better be practicing the way a Wiccan is supposed to or else you're or they aren't really Wicca. Also,  Not all Pagans believe, worship, or practice Wicca.


Pagan is a little bit more tricky to explain, as I am discovering. Pagan originally meant someone who was from a rural area but as Christianity came about, it meant people who (as I have seen mentioned in many places) fled to the hills to keep their own religious practices and not convert or be forced to convert to Christianity. Jamie wrote: "At minimum, Paganism is a earth-centered spirituality- that is, Pagans believe the earth is a sacred place."  That said/quoted, what most people think of as 'Pagan' doesn't mean that they can be defined as 'Pagan' just because they do not believe, ascribe, or practice Christianity, Jewish, or Muslim religions. And as far as Witches and Wiccans are concerned 'Pagan' isn't quite the right terminology, it's actually a shortening from 'Neo-Pagan'. Relax, 'Neo' only means new.


Now, when it comes to Witch, first and foremost, I have never encountered or spoken to anyone in person or via the Internet who believes in and or practices 'black' or 'dark' magic/arts. That's not to say there aren't  any people out in the world who don't or people who don't play with negative energies. And a lot of Wicca or Witches will say they don't believe in black magic or the devil. Jamie wrote: "Witches are folk healers and mediators who practice folk magic." 


Well, 'folk' typically is in reference to a particular people or region or culture of people and their practices. Ever heard the term 'folk music'?  I don't necessarily believe you can say a Witch is a person who is a folk healer, mediator, or a practitioner of folk magic. Not all Witches are from the particular culture of which ever type of label they have donned or even practicing in that region. However, they may have adopted or adapted to the particular set of rules or ideas of the type of Witchcraft they have decided to become. 


All of that being said, there are so many different types of Witches. There are the Strega, Egyptian, Solitary, Pow-wow, Pictish, Green, Kitchen, Celtic, British Traditional, Caledonii Traditional, and Wicca. The list really goes on and on and there are even Witches who practice a mix of a few to many and take on the label of eclectic. It's really easy to get lost in all the nomenclature and semantics especially since most of this stuff is 'new' and only been around for a few decades and new facets are popping up all the time. But at the end of the day, as I understand it, as I have been made to believe by what I have read, a Wiccan is a type of Witch but a Witch nonetheless and both those terms fall under the 'umbrella' of Neo-pagan.