They said: "Blah blah blah" & Going back to college apparently.

So, had my appointment with ITT Tech today. It was a really nice meeting, got a lot of questions answered, pretty much narrowed down what area of study I am going for, and will be going back tomorrow for an appointment with financial aid. That's mostly the scary part. Grants and a possible scholarship okay, but student loans... Ehh *cringe* I really hate the thought of loans because with loans there is interest and payments and being in debit and lets face it, I'm already in debit and not really looking forward to anymore.

But I took my information to my parents house and talked to them. Called my Grandma and talked to her and told my Cousin Shi-chan about it. With Their support and the support of my GF, I was feeling pretty good and like I might be able to do this school thing again. Frankly, getting a degree that's not in English or Creative writing scares me because writing has been my unfaltering, unwavering dream since I was 13. This degree, the one I am enrolling in, is Computer and Electronics Engineering Technology. Basically I would be fixing computers and electronics. But I think even if I get through school and start working, in the mean time I can still write and even after that I can still write. It's not like I want to be some big famous author, but I would like to make the best sellers list at least once. And really, to be quite honest, I would just like to have a couple of books published. I've never written for fame but for myself and for people to enjoy my stories.

BUT...

The GF called her brother to update him. Now we had previously cut of her brother and his wife due to some really horrible things they had said and done to the GF's parents. That aside we are apparently on talking and friendly terms with them. Well, GF's brother had to go and rain on the little "finally something positive and moving forward" parade. Apparently his online school is better where as mine where I get to actually have hands on experience sucks. But then again he's been trying to get his degree in the same field for over 10 years and I can basically do it at ITT Tech in two years at the most.

And then there is the fact that we are apparently going to the Zoo with them on Saturday. I kind of want to but I kind of don't. Supposedly things have changed with the Gf's brother and his wife, supposedly things are better, supposedly this and supposedly that but then everyone told me the wife was better before I saw her again and it was worse. She was one of my best friends and then shit hit the fan within the family and it was like I was looking at a different person. It was like walking on egg shells and glass, one wrong word spoken, one wrong move and there was hell to pay. I'm really not looking to welcoming that kind of stress back into my life but then again, what if this time it really is different and things really have changed for the better? Still, I'm nervous and don't want things to be a competition again. I don't like competing against people in that "who's got what that's better or does what that's better" and what not.

*sigh* Well, I suppose I should decide if I want to play some Guild Wars or watch a movie for the next few hours then hit the hay.