While trying to contain and cope with all of that my patience level dropped, my tolerance level dropped, and I've been snappish in situations that I would normally never ever take an issue with. I also haven't handled distraction well or noise I can't control on my own. Over the weekend I've had several more panic attacks. I thought that if I just read one of the books that are close to being due at the library that I would calm the hell down.
It worked for a little bit and I really am enjoying the Vampire Academy novels. The pacing is good, the characters are interesting, and once I pick up a book, I can't really seem to put it down. Shadow Kiss is the 3rd in the Vampire Academy series and it was really good but it made me sob. Something happens to my favorite character. I won't say who or what because I don't dare spoil it for those who haven't read it. Needless to say I've been bothered and upset over it for the last two days. I cant decide if I need to take a break from finishing the rest of the series or run to the library and grab the last three and just read for the next couple of days. An awesome side note, there is going to be a Vampire Academy movie coming out in 2014 and it look really good! Oh and by the way, this story is a hundred times better than Twilight!
Another reason I am wondering if I should take a short break in reading the rest of that series is because I have been writing. As in I have been working on one of my novels again and not just working and tweaking things here and there. I mean actually doing a rewrite, spent most of the day yesterday and got over 10 (single spaced) pages written, kind of writing. I haven't really been able to do that in a long time. It feels so good and I am actually excited with what's coming out on the pages.
There has been some family drama back home. My cousin Tony is as drunk as ever and crashed his bicycle over the weekend. He managed to get one of the handle bars in his lower stomach and had to have surgery. My only hope is that he will finally be put in jail. There is more to all of this, things he's done in the past, he tried to kill both his sisters, and he refuses to quit drinking. His mother couldn't be out done and had to have some attention herself and in doing so humiliated her daughter and physically hurt my father who was trying to get her into her house. It's pretty bad. My Mom is furious. My Dad's back and knees are hurt pretty bad and he was sp pissed he wanted to just slap the shit out of my Aunt. Everyone feels bad for my aunt's daughters who have to live with her at the moment.
I have decided that when I move home Tony, if he isn't in jail, isn't allowed inside my house if he isn't sober and seeking counseling for anger and addition. My aunt is not allowed at my house if she is going to harass me, either of my parents if they are there, or my cousins. I will not put up with her coming over and screaming at people or running them into the ground. I want my home to be a place of calm, of escape, of no violence, verbal, emotional, or mental abuse. If family and friends can't follow those rules, then they aren't welcome.
Another good thing, my Grandma Evelyn sent me a cat toy for my cats. They love it! And you know your Grandma loves you when she sends presents for your cats to cheer you up. I swear, I got so lucky having the Grandparents I have and even the parents I have. Even with all the issues Mom and I had when I was a late teen. And despite all the crap family members I have, I've got some really great ones! That includes friends, after awhile some of my friends have become family too.