I have never been so entirely awful- that I remember- in doing my homework! I am in procrastination city and not looking forward to leaving any time soon. But last night I pretty much figured out why and that's because I am pissed about this assignment and pissed about the class. Last night I summed up my feelings and plan on facebook:
"I think a major reason I am having so much trouble writing this stupid WW2 paper is that their requirements don't make sense and in some ways are a contradiction, they give you no freedom to really truly write your own opinion based on your research, everything has to be "approved" before you can move to the next step, and you're basically writing what they want to hear. And, I pulled my thesis topic from their "approved" list of topic prompts and it's not good enough? On top of that we aren't learning about the propaganda, the Thule society, or even about the members within or about the Third Reich itself. It's not even strategic military points, well some of it is, but not really. I mean really, if they expect me to read nearly 200 pages every freaking week, then at least make it something worth while. I could have found out all of this information on Wikipedia in half the time. It sucks and I am so frustrated with all of it that I am just going to do enough to pass the class and call it good. To be honest this class is an utter disappointment."
On a happier note, Skoora and I went to the Humane Society and found a new member for our family.
|She likes to watch and pounce!|
With Yoda's passing, with a new kitten, and with Skoora being back, things just aren't the same. I knew they wouldn't be. I'm very hypersensitive which is an uncomfortable thing for me. I loathe feeling fragile about as much as I hate crying over stupid little things. Plus Skoora has a lot to do to finish up her MFA, I'm pushing to be more independent, oh really it's all just a mess. We aren't fighting and we aren't upset with each other or anything like that, things just feel weird. I think had Yoda not passed and had we not brought home a new kitten, things would feel just fine. But shit happens and I need to remember to give myself time to adjust and let things fall into place where they need to. Life jut feels weird, ya know? Of course, when you lose a big part of your life, I suppose it's going to.