Monday, September 14, 2015

Surprise? Switched some things around and books

For a couple of days it was miserably hot, but we are finally back to cool, fall weather. Whoot!

I got what I think may or may not be a pleasant surprise when I checked my grades for last term. First, let me say that I passed my photography class, although there were some bitchy comments left by my instructor to which I flipped off my computer screen, called her a hinky bitch and moved on. Very adult, I know. The point is I passed. I also got an A in my New Media Publishing class, but I knew I would. However, when I went to check my grades yesterday, I also checked on my new term classes, which I thought began today since yesterday was the end of my break week. Um... the open date for module one for both classes isn't until the 21st. I mean having an extra week break from school is freaking fantastic, but it is kind of weirding me out. Don't worry, I can handle change, I just want to be certain that I'm not going to be dropped from my classes if this isn't actually a break week and the school got something wrong. I'm going to sent my adviser an e-mail today and do at least the icebreaker posts in each class to secure my spot for the day. 

Friday, last week, I decided Amanda and I needed a change. Neither of us have been very happy lately and to say that we are struggling, is kind of putting it mildly. So, I switched some things around in our bedroom. Where my two bookcases were, the bed now sits and where the bed was is where the book cases are. I also moved the dvd media case and my bedside table and moved the rolling craft drawer thing over to become her bedside table. She liked this change at first, but when we came home yesterday she kind of had a freak out. Of course I think that's more to do with the fact that her parents were trying to be helpful (despite us telling them REPEATEDLY -I really can't stress that enough- not to do our laundry) and did our laundry. It was all laid out on the bed. As a result, we came home at 2 am last night to half dried laundry laid out on our bed and this morning Amanda went to get work clothes and they were more or less still wet, not damp, wet, in the hall way closet. The reason why we don't like them to do our laundry is because point of fact, we are fat girls and don't like our stuff shrunk in the dryer. Also, our clothing is a little more expensive and when a lot of what we have is dryed over and over again, it gets ruined. Anyway, so yeah, last night wasn't so great for the bedroom change. She was upset over some stuff impeding her walkway too, but that is an easy fix. 

Saturday, this last weekend, we went to our friend Chris' house to do a late birthday party for her. She had the house to herself this weekend. Anyway, I made her dinner and a birthday cake complete with black icing. We watched a scary movie, a comedy routine, and listened to music while painting. Amanda did some job applications while we painted. Yesterday, Amanda went to work and I stayed with Chris all day. Fiona had her Mom bring her so we could to the Spirituality circle. We went to that and then went to dinner at our new friend Birdy's. It was fun and after that, we went back to Chris' house to get our things, have some cake, and watched another comedy routine. I fell asleep while watching it and Fiona and Amanda had to wake me up. I hate doing that. But it was a fun and relatively peaceful weekend. 

On to books. I have a lot of reading to do this coming term. I'll be reading A Midsummer Night's Dream, Richard III, and Hamlet, oh and also Macbeth, all within 8 weeks. I can do it! I will also be reading poetry and writing it for my poetry class. Honestly, I kind of just want to read nothing but mass market paperback fiction. I have several Paranormal and Urban Fantasy novels that I want to curl up in bed with, coffee or tea included. I might do just that a little later. 

Writing. I am having some trouble writing and I think it all stems from the intensity of my depression and anxiety lately. I'm not having writer's block and I'm not too worried about writing crap or fucking it all up, because I know I can go back and fix it. I just think its the depression. When school is going, it partly has to do with that too, but otherwise, yeah, I've been so freaking frustrated and depressed- tired, to just do it. Even getting Amanda RP posts lately has been a struggle. This shit is getting old. And confession time, I'm starting to not even like writing anymore- which pretty much devastates me and breaks my heart ( feels like its the last piece of myself that's being snuffed out and there's nothing left but this hollow casing). It's such an utter struggle that I spend more time  agonizing over it than enjoying it. I guess that's what happens when people subtly suffocate you and say without saying that you're never going to be good enough for several years. No, I am not saying that I need my ego stroked, what I am saying is that when you can't even get certain key people in your life to actually read what you've written and you can't even let some people read it because of things they have said when some one shares another person's writing, yeah no. but I am just depressed today, whining, and lamenting my life in general. My choices and things out of my control really kicked the shit out me and I'm tired of trying to fight back, it's too exhausting. So for today, I'm not going to fight, I'm just going to be and if people give me shit, I'll throw shoes at them, because that's actually kind of fun.     


  1. I will always read for you. I may not be able to help with the technical parts.

  2. Hi Hannah, just wondering if you received your package from the swap.