For Yule/Christmas, Amanda bought me sticker paper I can run through the printer. Yesterday morning, after I took her to work, I put the new ink cartridges in our printer and set out to print several affirmations that I really liked and had been saving. The above picture is just one of them. Affirmations, I'm finding out, only work if you say them regularly and actually try to believe them. When you don't feel up to much of anything, you fall short and they have lackluster meaning.
Prior to Yule/ Christmas my Grandparents had sent some money as part of their gift to us and I used a little to purchase some planner sticker files from various sellers on Etsy. These are not all that I bought, just a few. I did pick up a couple of Halloween themed sets, a cat set in the color green, a winter set, and a mermaid set. What can I say, I'm an eclectic mess.
I feel the urgency of this affirmation surging throughout, but the for life of me, I cannot seem to make myself do anything. Lethargy has taken hold. The last couple of days have been a down right blur between sleep and wakefulness. I've taken Narcisa to the vet (she is okay), Amanda to work, gone to the doctor, to therapy, to the store, run errands, and tried and failed to at least get my kitchen clean. Point of fact, ever since Halloween, we haven't been able to keep the house as clean as I would like. I can't seem to find things, or even stay motivated. I go through periods like this more often than naught and I'm afriad it's only going to get worse. My gynecologist prescribed me progesterone to hopefully shut my period off for a a few days and when I stop taking it I will have a "revenge" period as Amanda called it. After which time, he needs to go in and do a pap to make sure I don't have cancerous cells. We're moving toward a hysterectomy, thank the Gods! My blood work screams anemia and as soon as my uterus is out, that will begin to fix itself. I almost can't wait to have more energy again.
Speaking of blood work, my previous primary care physician was absolutely sure- just by looking at me- that I am diabetic. You know because I am fat. She also wanted to sell me supplements that I couldn't afford- because she could make money- claiming they were non GMO and 100% organic. Well, my blood work would have been a huge disappointment to her. In fact, when I got my lab results back and saw my A1C, I had Amanda call her parents, who are both diabetic, and check to see what is good and what is considered diabetic. I'm not, not even close! But like I said before, I am very anemic. My new primary care physician prescribed a multivitamin with iron in it.
Aside from that I have been sleeping a lot. Slept most of yesterday and all of last night. It doesn't help that I have a cute little orange kitten who likes to curl up on my chest. He is warm and soft. Thorin is curled up next to my feet at the moment, under the blanket. I'm starting to fade again, so I will end here and take my nap. I've stopped fighting against the sleep monster and hopefully soon, I won't have to, at least not for these reasons.