And now for a post that makes sense, Bat Fit 2017, mouse fails.

We have a bit more snow than this...quite a bit more. In fact, I was taking a friend to her doctor's appointment today and Amanda's Kia Optima got temporarily in the snow, going up a hill. It was exciting- apart from the old man yelling at me. A note on that, it is more effective to calmly give me instructions than to scream them at me.

Okay, because I am unsure how much I got into my last post about Narcisa and all my attempts to read said post have been unsuccessful, I'm going to update her situation now. Amanda and I took our furry princess to the vet because her voice sounded awful and we had suspicions that she was sick. There was also a fear that she was really sick due to her penchant for eating whole pawfuls of fireplace ash. Seriously, we were fighting her to stop, moving the ash bucket, covering the ash bucket. As it turns out the Vet thinks Narcisa is a freak for eating the ash, has never had a cat who has done that, and considering her love of eating random things, she has pica. Further, he thinks that she may have caught the little cold that Throin brought home with him when we adopted him and it was wearing off. But because she growled and hissed so much on top of eating ash, her throat is basically just aggravated and if she doesn't get better in a week or so, we are to take her back in. She is getting better though.

Bat Fit 2017 Link

Bat fit is something that I have been interested in for the last couple of years. Some of my blogger friends have participated in that time and it just seemed like something kind of out of my reach, per se.  Well this year, I am going to take a stab at it with a sharp stick and see what happens. So to revisit my list from a previous blog addressing something similar to this, I'm going to go into more detail about what those things mean and a little of my action plans on how to work on them. These are not really resolutions, they aren't even really goals, they are just things I want to work on so as not to set myself up for failure. The idea is to have positive experiences, not stress myself out and tear myself down trying to achieve things outside my limits. 

1. Health

While my overall health appears to be good- at least according to my blood work, minus anemia, I am over weight. In fact, if I were to use the clinical term "Morbidly obese". I have been struggling with my weight for over the last decade, clear back to the end of high school. From depression to fucked up period patterns and horrible heavy bleeding, and medication, none of this has been easy. Thrown in fibromyaliga and a herniated disk plus an affinity for sedentary activities (reading, writing, movie watching, sewing, and other various crafts), I've been fighting an up hill battle. Actually, I fight it even when I've gone to the gym and swam every day or done an mile on the elliptical every day.  Do I want to lose weight? Yes, of course, there are far too many lovely Goth fashions I want to wear. Plus making and buying clothes would be cheaper too. But I am not going to make myself miserable trying to lose weight. I could run myself ragged and never get anywhere.  

Instead, Amanda and I are going to start the weightloss hypnotherapy disks left over from a few years ago. It had been working a little bit but then we lost control of what food we ate when we lost our food stamps and her mother was buying and cooking our meals. I kind of just said fuck it and threw in the towel. So, back to that and eating smaller portions. We don't typically eat too terribly anyway. I try to maintain a high protein diet with veggies and fruit. We are also going to start a yoga regimen with a friend of ours. I will do that until I have my hysterectomy, take some time off for that, and then once healed, go back to doing it. 

2. Writing

Writing is hard for me. I've had really negative thoughts about it. The joy of it has been sucked clean from it and it became more of a chore than anything else. There are several reasons why, most of which stem from crippling lack of self esteem, self loathing, self doubt, and outside factors beyond my control. When that went, one of the foundations for my personal "joy" was snuffed out. I've been trying for the last year to get it back and that in and of itself has been an internal fight. I've thought many times that maybe I'm just not supposed to be a writer anymore, that that ship had sailed, and that I am desperately holding onto something that was never meant to be. Those thoughts hurt me in ways I can't describe. So, maybe there is hope yet. 

I would like to begin a writing group. I'm also going to write at least 6 hours a week as prescribed by Brandon Sanderson (author of the Mistborn series) from his college writing course. It is on Youtube and the link is here  . 

3. Wedding

We don't have a lot of money for this venture in our lives, but we we want to make it as nice as possible. I'm going to start a Gofundme page to help get my parents up for the wedding just as soon as I get over my hang up of begging other people for money to make something good happen in my life. Because that is what this feels like.  Secondly, I want it to be as easy and smooth as possible. We've enlisted one friend to help with some projects and will probably be enlisting a couple of others.  As for one of our big stumbling blocks, dresses, If I can't find what I like on Torrid come prom season, I have patterns to make what I want and have informed Amanda as such. She said okay. 

4. Crafts

In general, I'm going to work on various craft projects in various mediums, as the year progresses. From sewing, paper crafts, painting, and crochet, I want to get a couple of big projects finished by next Yule. 

5. Heathen and Witch Study and practices

There are books I have been meaning to read that I feel I am ready for. There is a lot I wish to learn and I do have some ideas of what I want to explore where I feel drawn to go spiritually. Frankly there are also somethings that I have always wanted to do- like learn to read Tarot and Runes and so forth. I also want to explore Seidr. 

6. Reading my usual 20 books a year and hopefully more

Ever since high school I have had a goal to read 20 books a year. I don't always achieve that goal, some years I only get 5 read and some years I manage 42. Reading expands knowledge and helps to hone writing and vocab, shows style and so on. Plus it is really fun. 

7. Quiet time for myself as well as Amanda and I, together.

I need self care time that I don't beat myself up about. I am terrible with that. In fact, I often feel guilt for taking time to myself when I should be doing this or that. It only keeps the self hatred cycle going. So, I am going to try and do some things for myself whether coloring a picture, taking time to do crafts or read, watch a show or movie, or just sit and listen to music. I also want to get back to doing things that make me feel pretty, like putting on make up and doing my hair every day. Painting my finger nails, plucking my eyebrows and so on. 

I also want to have time just for Amanda and I. We need time to watch movies together, to talk, to go out and do things even if it is just to go for a drive. So much of our lives is surrounded by other people and while we love our friends, sometimes, we just need time to be together. 

Anyway, those are things I'm working on for Bat Fit 2017. If they all happen or they all go anywhere good, I will be pleased, but I'm not going to beat myself up about not getting everything done. 

Lastly, I bought a new gaming mouse so I could play Eveonline a little easier. It seems that this mouse and I are not getting along very well at the moment. I am going to do some trouble shooting and if it doesn't work like it is supposed to, I can hopefully send it back.

For now, I need to work on making fruit sushi and chicken teriyaki sushi for dinner. Amanda was supposed to do it but she's fallen asleep... again.