Sunday, February 5, 2017

Post Attack Dog appointment, mood fluctuations, anime and Paddington

If you were to remove all the niceties from the conversation I had with my GYN about the trouble I had had with his nurse/receptionist,  it is all my fault and the nurse is frustrated with me for not getting things done when things are so dire. There was also a mention of me being hysterical. 

Excuse me?!!

I did not delay anything. I didn't lie about appointment locations. I got a little snappish and short with her on the phone, but I was never in any way hysterical in person or on the phone. I wanted to march out to the desk and smack the receptionist/nurse and tell her that she'd not seen hysterical. I have been watching my mother's identical twin preform maudlin martyr hysterics all my life. My aunt is so bad that the ICU of a hospital begged us to make her leave. So if that bitch really needs to see hysterics, I can show her hysterics!

Also during the appointment, my GYN decided to do a pap smear as well as the biopsy. Pap smears are no big deal, they are invasive and uncomfortable, but they don't hurt me. The biopsy, on the other hand, hurt like hell. Apparently your GYN can and supposed to numb you for biopsies. Mine did not. So when he forced my cervix open, that ached. The clampy thing, pinched. But the cutting of my uterine lining was s painful, I instantly wanted to vomit, went into a cold sweat, and wanted to cry. As soon as I got home, I ate 4 Advil. 

The next day I had an ultrasound. That went well, but I was still sore and the student tech seemed a bit surprised that I was having an ultra sound right after the biopsy. The tech who was in charge didn't give a shit and I got the feeling that she was more annoyed with my presence than anything. So, I tried to lighten the mood by asking a few questions by what I could see on the screen. I don't think it helped much.

My next appointment is supposed to be my pre-operation appointment. Of course I have to wait until all my lab and text results come back and in the meantime, I have to keep taking a high powered dose triple dose of estrogen to keep me from bleeding. Of course, I am still nauseated, my mood swings are worse, my boobs hurt and wearing a bra is painful, and I am still very weak and sleeping a lot, but if this gets me the damned surgery, I will take deal with it for a time.

Because I have felt like crap and because Amanda doesn't want me going anywhere by myself much less driving (except for yesterday when it was necessary for her to get to and from work), I have been watching a little anime. 

I finished Kamisama Kiss season 2. I really liked it and am hoping for a season 3. I don't know if that is in the works, but I also haven't gone to look yet.

Inu x Boku Secret Service was really good too. It wasn't just a crack, romantic anime, it had some surprising and lovely character growth and development. I really enjoyed it. There is a character obsessed with S&M and I while I don't mind that, he was a little obnoxious and disturbing.

I also have a new favorite kids/family movie- Paddington. I'd wanted a kind of feel good movie, I like bears, and I remembered my Aunt M., mentioning Paddington when I was little, about the time my Cousin C., was born. Curiosity got the better of me and I love it! I enjoyed all the actors and the "hard stare" moment has kind of become a thing. It was also one of my favorite parts of the movie. Because I have been weepy off and on all day, a bit panicky too, I think I might see if Amanda will let me watch it again, or something just as light. I don't really feel up to blood and guts tonight. 

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