Yesterday Amanda kept fussing at me to get dressed. After I'd help her make breakfast, I'd fallen asleep in my night clothes on the sofa watching something on TV. I was resistant for awhile. I didn't feel up to going anywhere, I didn't really want to see anyone, and even though our friends who are twins were coming in the afternoon, I wasn't exactly motivated to get dressed even then. But I had had a hard day the day before. It's not every day that you receive news that you have pre-cancer and I'd done pretty well to stay calm for most of the day. I only yelled "I hate you" to my body once. I'd been weepy and angry, but didn't actually break down and just cry until about 10 pm. I ended up taking a xanax and cuddling with Amanda on the sofa that night.
But back to yesterday, I finally got up and got dressed- mostly to shut Amanda up, but I only put pants on. I remained in my night shirt and refused a bra. Sometime toward evening there came a knock at our door. The twins had already arrived so I didn't know who it was. Well, it was a guy holding a green tissue paper wrapped thing asking for me. I brought it inside and unwrapped it to find a beautiful arrangement of flowers. They were sent not by Amanda or even any of my family or friends (not that I ever expected anyone to), but by Amanda's two bosses. 1. I have never been sent flowers. 2. These two ladies have only met me twice and briefly. I was so shocked and surprised that I almost cried. We put them on the mantel so I could see them from the kitchen and living room, but also because that it one of safer places in the house from the cats. I have to make an amazing thank you card for them.
I left a message with the Cancer Center Northwest yesterday and they called me back. Not only do I have the direct line to the woman who does scheduling for the doctor I have there, but I also have a consultation appointment for Tuesday. Amanda's Mom is coming over to go with me and she said we will not leave the office until we have an appointment for surgery. My own Mom was apparently trying to scrounge up the money to fly up to be with me and while I would love that so much, more than I could ever say, they can't afford it, someone needs to look after the dog because my Dad has landed himself some more work. My Dad also doesn't think I really want my OCD mother in my hair now and until after my surgery. No, she'd probably drive me crazy, but she'd be here. I did tell my Dad that ideally I want them both here, but to be honest, I want them here for my wedding most.
Well, the twins are here and I have a few things I need to get done out of the house today. I'm not sure I have the energy for it, but I will go for as long as I can. My period also started up so I am extra tired again. I'm kind of hoping that the twins don't get too upset if I take a nap for a little bit this morning. Oh and friend of mine is coming over to borrow my sewing machine today. She is sewing a tunic for her husband for an SCA event- an event that I would like to go to too. I'm just wondering if I can get something made to go over my shift in time...