Trying my hand at graphic design, panic outside, hospice care and family.

I decided to play around with paint.net again. It began out of my desire to make planner stickers more to my tastes. There aren't a ton of gothic themed stickers but there are a lot of Halloween- which is awesome- but I don't always want pumpkins. Besides, I'm not just a Goth Girl, I'm also a Nerd/Geek, and anime love, among other things. But I will get back to planner stickers in a moment. The picture above is something I put together to make a sign for above my desk. It's the 5-4-3-2-1 coping technique my therapist gave me to help me stave off or get out of panic attacks.  I simplified it, found a pretty mermaid picture, and a water texture/background, and threw it all together. Eventually, when we have more ink, I will print it out and frame it. 

Okay back to planner stickers. I made these today. They are far from perfect, totally rough, but they are practice for me. It was kind of fun and I had to ask Fiona how to a couple of things that I didn't know how to do before. Like making a duplicate of an image you've been working on. Or a duplicate of the clip art you just pasted. I've never had to do that before. Anyway, I would like to practice more and make a better version of this, one for Edward Elric, and some other anime I adore. Then I would like to make some Gothic themed planner sticker. 

Those are the good things. the not to good things are that I am having trouble making myself leave the house. I had to take half a nerve pill yesterday to stave off tears and panic despite me actually wanting to go to the store. It still didn't help too much. 

Today was a little better, but I still had trouble when we went to wal-mart for the things we didn't get at Winco. It is frustrating. 

In other news, my Mom asked me to call my Aunt tomorrow because as many times as she cried "I'm dying" now she actually is. She's officially got meals on wheels and hospice care. I don't really know how I feel about that. I don't think it has hit me yet and as much as she's hurt me, I don't actually want her to die. Plus she's my mom's identical twin and my Mom isn't doing well. On top of that all three of my cousins are kind of being douche bags to my aunt. I'm not sure what's going on with Shi-Chan, she's typically the sane one. I don't know, maybe she just got pushed too far.

Anyway, I didn't get much writing done last night and will be trying to pick it up again tonight. I am bringing my OC character's brother in to torture her some more. Surprise, he's not dead. Christine will be happy, it's Zolf. I probably won't write him as gritty as she does, but he pretty twisted. Yes, this is still the Fullmetal Alchemist fanfiction and yes it is almost 340 pages long and I still have quite a bit left to do. >.> I swear, as soon as this is all done and edited, I will be working on an actual novel. I actually came up with another idea and when I sent it to my Dad he quoted something I had said, which was "she also likes to impale people, because that's fun" to which he replied "wow. just, wow." When I read that, I actually hurt myself laughing because I could hear his voice and the tone he'd use in my head and it was just that funny. Don't judge me. LOL.