They are so pretty! Morning Panic and if you can, do.

Recently Amanda and I have caught up on Junjo Romantica, a boys love/yaoi series. If you like fluff and mild angst- and by mild I mean a hell of a lot lighter than anything you will see in Game of Thrones- and like cute anime boys like we do, you might give it a go. I pretty much giggle, squee, and get really wrapped up in the romance and cuteness of the show. I cry "YES!" every time a kiss I have been waiting for happens or coo with giddy delight when there is an 'I love you' spoken. No, really, it's kind of ridiculous. 

Well, this weekend we happened to see another boys love/ perhaps yaoi anime called Yuri on Ice, that pretty much made me do the same things. I'm not really a sports anime fan, but this was figure skating. Normally just watching figure skating can move me to tears because I find it really beautiful. I also love figure skating because a lot of the time the skaters will pick lovely music to preform to and I can get carried off by music faster than anything. So, on top of this anime being figure skating, and boys love/ perhaps yaoi, there was great music and the animation was fantastic! I can't wait to see the next season and the movie when they come out. 

Our friends, a pair of twins we've known for years, were the ones who showed us this anime. We went down to see them this weekend and to talk about bachelorette party stuff. While we were there, I got to talking to one of the twins about being really tempted to get a crunchyroll account so I can watch more anime, but at the same time being afraid to do so because then I would just watch anime all day. She asked me why, because if I can do it, then do it. I replied with 'because I'm supposed to be writing a novel'. 

This is one of those things wherein I struggle on a couple of fronts. Firstly, I spent too much time arguing over what to watch with friends and even Amanda, that I eventually gave up and just watched what everyone else wanted to watch so the sake of accommodation and so we wouldn't spend more time looking for something instead of watching something. That ate a lot of time that I never really felt I had. Secondly, time is something I have a problem with, in that all the things I love to do take time and there are only so many hours in the day and like it or not, I do have to sleep sometime. Last but not least, it is easier to people please and unintentionally kill my own joys than fight with people and try to come to compromise. You'd think over a silly little thing as something to watch that's stupid but when you get really worn out or just don't have the spoons to deal, saying 'sure' takes less energy. I've been working on standing my ground because I need those little joys. Something as silly and simple as a movie or an anime series of my choosing makes me really happy and often gives me inspiration for other things. 

So while I was having a good time, yesterday morning's panic attack took me by surprise. I woke up in pain, as I typically do, but I was hurting a little more than usual and while I was getting dressed I started to cry and panic. Amanda wanted to know what was going on and I told her it was because I was hurting. But I managed to get calmed down and took some Alieve. It doesn't kill the pain, but it can sometimes take enough of the edge off, to make things bearable, and unlike prescription pain meds and muscle relaxers, it doesn't leave my brain fogged more than I sometime am anyway, or knock me out. 

Aside from that we are home again. I haven't slept yet because I started getting some things in order and or ready for this week. A couple of things are out of the way already and then I decided to clean out email and so on. Amanda and I started working on a story together so I spent a little time on it before I realized what time it was. At that point, I said screw it, I have to take Amanda to work anyway, might as well wait to sleep until after.  Even if I I sleep for 4-5 hours, I'll still wake up in time to get some stuff done before Amanda gets home from work.