I screwed up so bad, limbo, pain.

We are visiting our cats today. They are staying with the in laws until we have a house. 

Speaking of which, we made an offer on a cute little green house that our cousin Kitty Kat said looks like a fairy cottage. The offer was rejected and the owners asked for full price but they will pay closing costs and repairs. We are okay with that. That will work. So we have to put down our earnest money and then pay for a housing inspector to check foundations, wiring, ect... But, I fucked up royally. 

When Valley 206 gave us the relocation check, it had Amanda's and my name on it. We don't have a joint bank account. So when I signed and deposited the check into my account, my bank posted it then removed it and destroyed the check and sent out some legal document that we both have to sign, in person, in front of a teller, at the bank. Um, okay. That's fine, it really screwed us up, but okay. Except that we moved and our change of address- where we are getting our mail- hadn't yet kicked in. So if they sent it out like they said they did, then it would have gone to our old apartment- which had a vacancy sticker in it. So the letter would have gone back to Seattle, to the postal hub, to be rerouted to our forwarding address. Except it hasn't shown up and it has had plenty of time to come twice. 

We have been to the damned bank and the bank won't do shit for us. Not a Gods damned thing. We keep trying to get a hold of the Spokane Housing Authority to get them to cancel that check and reissue another one but we can't get a hold of them for shit and we aren't even sure if they will do it. 

So Amanda and I are sitting here, praying for the damned document to show before we lose out on this house. I've been so stressed out over all of this, over this one simple, yet colossal mistake of trying to take care of business while in the midst of moving out of our apartment, looking at houses, figuring out whose house I am going to be sleeping at this night or the next night, and going to the doctor, to therapy, and so on, that I can hardly stand it. I've cried every day over it. I've had panic attacks every day over it. Why can't we catch a break? 

A lot of people say its no the end of the world, but then they have never been in this situation. 

In other news, I went to the doctor today to get my blood drawn so she can check my thyroid. She made me pee in a cup too, to check my kidneys. I want to see what she says about my labs but I'm pretty sure we are going to change doctors soon. But I will talk about the why later. Oh and I have tendentious in both my Achilles tendons and carpal tunnel in both wrists. I now have to sleep with wrist braces for awhile. I also have had consistently high blood pressure for almost a year so I get to start taking blood pressure meds. Part of that is genetics, part of that is stress, and yes, part of that is my weight, but since every single person in my family, on my Dad's side, for the last several generations has had high blood pressure, um, yeah, it's probably mostly genetics. 

At the moment we are in limbo and the last several days I have been sleeping a lot and have been in a lot of pain. I have some big knots in my back that feel like knives. Amanda rubbed my back a little bit ago, but I might have her do some more later.

Craft stores are just mean, teacher recommended, black moon fades

The birds must be having a party today because they are loud and boisterous. They only seem to stop when a cat trots below them, which I find funny. Its like being in high school and all the popular kids quiet down and stare at the weird kid. It is also overcast and rainy today, which I love, but I am freezing. Of course, I have the patio door open and am basically wearing capri leggings, a t-shirt, and haven't moved around very much today, but still. I don't typically start off cold. I suppose it's just another sign that Autumn is truly here! 

While checking my e-mail this morning I noticed not one but two sale adds. One was from Michael's and the other from Jo-ann Fabric and Crafts. Of course, we are broke at the moment and the sale doesn't last until we have money again and it always sees to happen this way- which is why I think they are mean. But I'm not really complaining too much. Anything left over will be put on clearance pretty soon, which means I can stock up then and the prices might be better.

There was certainly some funky energy left over from the Black Moon. Yesterday, it seemed, was the last burst of energy taking form in strangeness, I think. I was unusually energized, a friend's pet got herself into trouble, Narcisa was all over the house jumping on furniture, jumping up on the altar a lot, climbing the screens, and to top it all off, I caught her licking the wall! Later she was on the counter where her food is and I caught her licking the side of the cabinet. It was just bizarre. Today things seem to be returning to normal. Although, Narcisa is a bit more cuddly than usual.

Also, apparently there are stupid people dressing up as clowns and attacking people. I checked my local news because I kept seeing people talking about what they would do if a clown broke into their home or one attacked.. yada yada yada, and sure enough it is happening, however most of it has been pranks. Still, as a person who is afraid of clowns and winced every time the Domino's Pizza clown waved at me from the corner of an intersection back home, I don't think I would be too happy about someone even pranking me, but I would never attack someone unless I truly felt threatened and was actually being hurt.

In my last writing workshop class with SNHU, my instructor recommended Zen and the Art of Writing, by Ray Bradbury to me. Since I don't ever remember a college instructor recommending a book like this for me to read, I put in my order on Amazon. It has taken me several months to get to it. I kind of got overloaded with non-fiction reading material and needed a break, but since I have begun reading, I am wondering if that instructor was somehow psychic. 

Keep in mind that I am only 23 pages in, but Bradbury talks about his lists and how some things from those lists become stories. Wait a minute, not only do I make task lists, I write down lists of things I want to write about, or words or objects I want to remember and later use in stories, character traits, and so on. So, I must be doing something right. Furthermore, its reinforcing that behavior and getting my mind generating ideas already. So I have a new project to add to the writing tasks for this month and that is to make a list of spooky things that I want to research and write about. I would love to turn it into a little craft project and make a compendium too- but that may have to be a long term project better saved for a time when I am not doing as much. 

One last thing before I toddle off to other things today, a quote from the preface of the book by Bradbury,

"You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you."

No truer words written, at least in my case.  

What is it, the ER doesn't know and taking the kitty to the vet pre-adventure

I'm probably going to make this short because I've got lots to do today and I don't know how much longer I can stand sitting at my desk. I'm at the "I can just barely stand it" pain level today. Onward.

For the last couple of days Amanda's parents, our friend Bethy, and I have been after Amanda to go to the damn ER or Urgent Care to get a spot on her shoulder looked at. She didn't know if it was a zit, an ingrown hair, or a spider bite and given that every once in a while she gets big bad zit that typically goes away within a day or two, she pretty much ignored us. Except that this one didn't go away, we couldn't get anything out of it, there was no head, and she ended up being in so much pain that she was sobbing and couldn't really move her arm. So we got her into the doctor who sent her to the ER. They cut into her and got nothing out of it, the infection has spread, so they put her on pain medication and gave her some high powered antibiotics and sent her on her way with instructions that if it didn't get better in 48 hours to come back. Meanwhile the doctors are tossing around the MRSA word, the Staph word, and saying they don't know for sure what this is. They also didn't let her mother or me go back to their  "fast track" room that they put her in so she was alone while someone was cutting into her. And, I am pissed at the billing department for zeroing in on her right away instead of giving her a minute. It's like, can you let a doctor see her at least before you start talking about money for fucks sake?!

Galen is still sick and we think it's upper respiratory infection. He seems better, but that might just be him trying to be perky since we were gone all day yesterday and he missed us. As grumpy as he is, he likes his humans to be home with him. Anyway, I have to take him to the vet but I have a problem. Every time he gets in a car or taken outside, he pees. So I thought about wrapping him up in a towel, a small grocery bag around his back end over the towel, and then another towel. But then I would have to give him a bath when we got home and I just don't want to put him through that on top of the vet. So, I'm really not sure what to do. I know I need to dig the cat carrier out of the garage today or have Amanda's Dad go do it.

I'm not too happy with Amanda's mom right now. She gambled away the grocery money and we had to use our very limited food stamp money up yesterday to get some things to try and make ends meet. It;s going to be another horrible month of trying to make things last, not eating like I should, eating what I can, and oh yeah, guess I won't be seeing if I a gluten intolerant this month either. So that sucks.

One bit of good news came my way. My Dad might actually get a decent job. He applied for a security position at Wal-Mart and they seem to like him. He's had two interviews and I really hope the fucktard assholes back in corrections don't fuck him over like they have in the past. Basically my Dad and the director didn't see eye to eye and the director destroyed the program my Dad spent 30 years building- that actually worked- got rid of his job and moved him from adult to juvenile. Then the people in juvenile made things impossible for my Dad so they could force him into a forced early retirement. Yes this shit actually goes on. And for shits and giggles the director and my Dad's old boss in Juvenile and even the one in adult residential corrections are all buddies and to this day still gang up on him. I don't understand it. Oh and they recently realized that they did need someone doing my Dad's old job in adult residential so they opened that up but wouldn't let him have it back. So, yeah, my Dad worked his way from the bottom to Facility manager and 2nd to the boss in corrections and after 30+ years was thrown out because the director didn't like that my Dad was effective at his job and was right about how things should be done. Did I mention that they didn't like each other in college either? Oh yeah, they happened to have had classes together. And did I mention that it's a good thing that I don't know what this man looks like else I might run over his foot with my car!

Anyway, I hope my Dad gets the job because that will certainly help him and my Mom out and get their heads above water again.

I start school again in two days and I don't know if I am okay with this. I didn't get a lot done that I wanted to get done. I hate that.    

Government shut down? Really, Congress, really?

As I am sure the rest of the world along with nearly every American in the USA knows, our Government decided to shut down last night at Midnight. How lame. How pathetic. How inexcusable. No wonder the rest of the world laughs at Americans. No wonder they don't take us seriously. 

One of my friends from High School works for the government in some fashion and she is not only NOT getting paid right now but she is REQUIRED to go to work. Explain to me how the hell, in this country, that is even legal? Explain to me why the hell our politicians and president get their pay checks and benefits while my friend and others like her aren't. They aren't better than she is. They aren't better than any other American in this nation. More importantly they ARE NOT more ENTITLED than anyone else just because they are politicians. 

The worst part about this is Republicans and Democrats and even the President are all pointing fingers at each other, playing the blame game, refusing to take responsibility for their idiocy, their childish behavior, and complete and utter lack of respect for not only each other but most importantly the American people who hired them in the first place. And we hired them to do a fucking job, pass reasonable and intelligent laws and policies, and protect us from terrorism, not sit on their collective asses and scream at each other like bitchy, spoiled, snot-nosed teenagers. 

The fact of the matter is, they don't give a shit about the American people. They just want money, to be exempt from a health care plan that is was bad to begin with, and you know it's bad when they are offered and exemption from it, and they want to move this country out of the realm of democracy and into something very akin to Socialist and or Fascist State. Why? So that they have all the power and money to do whatever the fuck it is they want to do and no one can fuss about it. 

Frankly, I'm so sick and tired of this shit. I'm so sick and tired of politicians pushing to have more power, more invasions of privacy under the guise of 'we're just trying to protect you', more bitching about people having guns and always, always blaming on mental illness instead of recognizing that some people are just fucking EVIL, and most of all I am so sick and tired of them fueling the wildfires of a class war that they most likely planted the seeds of.  Things need to change and they need to change soon. Congress AND the President need to grow the fuck up, stop fighting, and come up with some damned compromises. There MUST be some give and take.