Sunday, November 14, 2010

Toil and boil

Today has been a productive day in some fashion. I got the dishes caught up, vacuumed, did a little dusting, and picked up the house for the upcoming week. Also, I made Bierocks for dinner.

However, in the process of making dinner, right before Skoora left for work, Skoora told me about her sister-in-law's website and that said sister-in-law not only has her NaNoWriMo (that's National Novel Writer's Month) book finished but she is also working on two other novels. That should be fantastic news, right? I should be excited and congratulating her right? Well, I probably would be had this woman and Skoora's brother not driven Skoora's mother into a nervous breakdown. But we won't go into the devastation they have caused nor their depravity, it would take entirely too long.

The thing that got me so upset is that Skoora's sister-in-law is actually getting somewhere. I know that she's got an agent probably from whatever vanity publishing company she'd trying to publish through and I know that Vanity publishing is just that, vanity. They are real publishing companies but they will publish anything. They aren't like true blue, big time publishers who are picky and choosy about what they publish. So she won't have to deal with rejection letters and the real struggle to perfect the story and iron out everything to make it something marketable, something a real publisher will pick up.

Also, she hasn't been writing as long as I have. I've been writing since I was 13, that's half my life. I've written a variety of things and struggled with characters, grammar, which words to use which not,writing just began as a little hobby but became a passion, it's my dream. To see someone like her, someone so cruel and vicious who is only writing because she thinks she can, and actually get somewhere with it, is like a slap in the face.

But then I have been noticing a lot of that lately. People who are deceitful and greedy, who walk all over others, they get everything they want. It doesn't make much sense to me. Shouldn't those who are truly wicked fall short and those who are honest and give an honest try and don't delight in hurting others come out on top? It's a question that has been on my mind a lot in the last few years.

I just hope that one of these days, all my hard work and long hours of juggling this and that, will pay off. Because if this bitch makes it and I do not, I just don't know what I will do with myself. I know that I have flaws as a writer, flaws I am constantly working on, constantly struggle with but she seems oblivious to hers in her writing and in life.

Really, I know I am probably being stupid again, petty even, but I truly feel cheated and like I just want to boil this woman alive (of course some of that has to do with things non-writing related). And I am certain I will get over it in due time.

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