It's the end of the term so what does that mean for me? Relief dangling in the very near future that I'm crawling closer to everyday.
This term of college has not been a good one. Worst of all, I don't really feel that I will have accomplished much by the end of it. Sure I will have good grades but it's really taken it's toll on me. I've found myself asking the question of "why am I doing this?" I know why. I want to be a better writer. I want to have my BA so when I am able to return to the work force I can actually go for a career instead of positions I have worked in the past.
But this term has truly wiped me out. Getting sick in the middle certainly didn't help. Needless to say I've pretty much done homework, every day, all day, except the few days I've just had to decompress. However, I wasn't decompressing enough and that really took it's toll. On top of that I'm having some issues with my period again that are not helping. And it's been one thing on top of another. One issues or stressor compounding another. Ugh! Yesterday I was so exhausted, so just wiped, that for about half the day, intermittently mind you, I sat and stared at the wall. Of course that's when the depression and panic would kick in and I will admit to be a 30 year old woman who sat at her desk and cried while hugging a teddy bear. And then I got angry because of how ridiculous it all was, which only made me cry again.
I did manage to get some homework done yesterday. I did the last learning module for the Context of Writing class and took the notes I should have taken for my paper weeks ago. Why I didn't take them weeks ago, two works, Math Hell. Since I got all of that done and out of the way yesterday, I can write my paper to day. And like last night, as soon as that is finished, I am going to do a little self care and watch something I want to watch (instead f what everyone else wants to watch) and crochet. Doing that last night really helped and I felt kind of good this morning when I awoke. Yes, I was in pain like I am everyday with the added bonus pain of a head ache, but otherwise, I felt much better.
While I have been dealing with homework, there's been other things going on. We are deeply disappointed in a set of friends for one. We are in the continuing battle to balance things out here at home. We are looking for other possible places to move and looking for another job for Amanda. We are trying to get out and do things with the IEPG as often as we are able. Both of us are worrying over my parents and their situation. We are worrying about Amanda's parents as well. And I've got some troubling health concerns to discuss with my doctor. A couple people are pushing to me to get my thyroid levels checked. I'm worried that my wheat allergy has gotten worse. And I am beginning to have trouble with my legs swelling again. But going to the doctor will just have to wait until after New Year's. I just don't have time between now and then or the money up front for the lab work.
On the plus side, both Galen and Narcisa are napping on the bed and they both look so adorable. I want to curl up next to them but I on'y took time out to write a blog to get my writing muscles warmed up so I can write my 9-12 page paper on Harper Lee and her book To Kill a Mockingbird.