Hello Wine, why is the cat crying?!

I am out of pain pills and I am in a lot of pain tonight. In fact it's at the point where it is burning in the back and down both my legs. That's not good. So, I decided today, since we were in a different store, that I would ask Skoora to buy me some wine to try. I don't plan to get shit faced or medicate with alcohol when I don't have pain medication, no no no. But she did buy me some to try. Last time I had wine is gave me wicked heartburn and I haven't touched it since.

So, despite the fact that this is cheap wine of some supposedly exotic fruity nature, I still don't think I like wine but at least I don't feel the hurt so much. Skoora brought me a coke-a-cola glass full of it. The burning in my back and legs is still there but I've got enough of a buzz that, like I said, it isn't as bad as it was. However, I do have to pee already.

Yoda-Chan, dear sweet Yoda- Chan. He was outside my door crying to be let in. I let him in and now he's sitting at the door crying to be let out. Oh great, and now Galen is crying too. I am not getting up. I will win and curb their obsession with going in and out.

We watched Opposite Worlds on SyFy tonight. I do not like it. There is too much talking and not enough actually stuff happening in the show. It's just a different twist on Survivor and I hate hate hate that show. Actually the only 'reality competition' show I do like is Face Off. At the moment, we have the TV on in our room, which  believe me is rare unless we just want something mindless to fall asleep to and even that's kind of rare. Anyway My Strange Addiction is on and there is this guy who eats plastic. Um, okay, if that's what floats your boat but you might lose your fiance if you keep that shit up. The other part of the episode is about a woman who is co-dependant on a baby doll.. O.o And she wants her boyfriend to bond with it. Um, that's your addiction, don't try to force him into it, you're doing good in that he's been tolerant of your addiction so far (and at least this is one that doesn't hurt anyone or herself).

So, goals for tomorrow: Research Bloodstones for my new Pagan blog, try to get some much needed reading done, and some girl stuff. Going to do a face mask because it's been forever since I've done one. Need to do some extra exfoliating because my skin has been dry and peeling a little bit. Oh and just so ya'll know (heh heh my native Kansan talking) I DO like Honeybooboo. 

What. The. Hell?! Vacation Plans. Books.

Books first because they are among many things, a happy subject for me. Last night Skoora bought The Mythical Creatures Bible by Brenda Rosen and awesomely enough, it was in the New Age section of Hasting's where I was looking for books on Asatru. More on that later. Anyway, I think it looks like it will be a nice little read and might even have some information we haven't come across or even creatures we've never heard of before.

On to my book. Skoora bought me the book to the left, The Norse Myths by Kevin Crossley-Hollad. I've opened it, scanned the table of contents, and I think it's going to be a really good read. I have high expectations that it will be more in depth than D'Aulaires' Book of Norse Myths since that one was for kids. I still have the Poetic Edda and so forth to read, but this will be fun too.

I over did it yesterday while trying to do laundry and cleanup the bedroom, threw my back right out of whack. On top of that, I smacked my elbow in the shower and in some bizarre freakish way, in moving just slightly so I wouldn't smack it again was just right enough to make the disk slip again or do something really bad. Needless to say, today I am not doing so well and I need to go get a hair cut. I think I can manage it if I am really careful.

A situation happened recently and no I don't want to go into details. It has been a set 'What the Hell' kind of days. I don't think I am as okay as I thought I was. Or maybe it was that I went numb for self preservation and now bits of feeling are leaking back in in small bouts. Or maybe it was that I thought everything was going to be fine until last night and I need to retract some things and.... You know what, it will work itself out. I don't want to stress over it right now,my back hurts enough I don't need to make my head hurt too. No, my head doesn't hurt when I think, it hurts when I start to get really stressed. All my neck muscles tense up. Also, I'm not sick, that I know of, this situation has to do with people.

All of that said Skoora and I are planning a small vacation because we need to get the fuck away. We've never had a vacation together and after 6 years, it's damned time. So we are going to go visit a friend and see some things that shes seen but I haven't but wanted to see. We don't know when but it'll probably be within the next few months. Honestly, I can hardly wait and hope that my back holds out!

   

I don't know!

I haven't had a very good evening. I'm not sure what triggered the panic attack earlier, around 5 pm, but it was bad enough that one of my stress relievers couldn't even help calm me down, nothing was, so I took some medicine and laid down for awhile. I actually ended up taking a half hour nap.

When I awoke I wasn't feeling much better. But I got up, ate dinner, and logged into Guild Wars to play for a bit. It's Alliance Battle Week. Typically I get really disgusted over how much people jump sides back and forth. But what really upset me tonight was that my Dad asked me to text him when I logged on. I did. Twice. I got no response. Fine. I still wanted to do some AB so I went to the area and posted in the alliance chat that I was available if anyone needed another person for their group. No one said a damned thing. So I thought, well that's okay, I'll just hang out and see if anyone adds me to their party. (you can't just go into Alliance battles, you have to go in a party and none of them can be npcs).

Finally a group picked me up. Well that was a mistake. They got pissed at me for not sticking with them. I honestly thought I will still running with the group but they must have changed locations when I was texting Skoora back during the wait time. Well, round two, I tried like hell to stick with them. Things were fine until I got killed and was effectively separated from them. So then I wasted time trying to find them instead of jumping in with the closest group to the resurrection shrine. Needless to say, they kicked me the minute the round was over. I don't need that kind of shit. Not tonight anyway. And when there was still no word from my Dad, I decided to just bag it for the night and do something else.

I'm still really depressed, I can't decide what to do, don't really feel like doing anything, but at the same time I don't want to do nothing. I could go start some craft projects but like I said, I just don't feel like it. I thought about going to the store and I thought trying to work on a story. I just don't feel like doing anything! I just want tomorrow to come.   

Must acquire a shield, I hope it's allergies and not ear mites, and I saved how much?!

It's pretty sad that it's come to this. Since we learned that Yoda is diabetic and can't have any human food, he's become desperate for it. He's knocked so many things over in my room trying to get to my desk where I sometimes eat. He's tried to go right for my plate and I'm fighting him a lot of the time to stay back. And he's not the only cat to come after my food, Galen and even sometimes Ellie join in. So investing in a shield to put my food behind sounds like a necessary plan of action. Will I actually do this? Probably not, but it's a nice idea. Plus, I can hide from sad, begging eyes. No, locking them out of the room isn't really an option. Why? Because they cry and yowl and it's sad and they are damn loud!

Speaking of Yoda-chan, he's been scratching his ears a lot in the last couple of days. I've looked up what that could mean and as far as I can tell, it's either allergies (which he has) or it's ear mites. EWWWW! I am hoping for allergies but to be on the safe side, I'm going to clean his ears and rub them down with some warm olive oil. the weird part is that neither of the other kitties are scratching and I really don't think if it were truly ear mites that they would stick to just one cat.

This morning I got up early because I was going to meet a friend at Hastings for coffee and just to visit. At first I didn't want to get out of bed. For once I wasn't hurting too badly, was comfortable, and everything was soft. But the minute my second alarm went off there the kitties were fussing at me to get up. But the neighbors were up as well, stomping around so loud that it was impossible to go back to sleep. So, I got up, fed the cats, got dressed, and ate my own breakfast. Before I left I gave Yoda his morning insulin shot and muttered my aggravation over how loud my elephant neighbors were being. Really, they are that loud. The stomping is so heavy that it vibrates our furniture! And when they aren't home, their poor dog cries and cries. I would complain to them or to the landlord but Skoora's parents made me promise not to, which really sucks because when my friend Christine B. was here for a visit, they woke her up every morning. Oh and if you have a headache or a migraine, the stomping is at just the right decibel (or what ever you call it) to make your head throb.

Anyway, I left the house with a coupon in my purse for one of the craft stores and headed over to CDA for coffee. I had a very nice visit with my friend. She has a job interview today and I really hope she gets the job. (Crap! I left my phone in the car and she was going to text me!) I wished her luck when we parted, her going to get a nicer shirt for the interview, and me to Jo Ann Crafts.

You know, I wasn't planning on getting much or really anything at all, I just wanted to get out of the house a little and see what I could see. Some of the fabric was on sale for half off, so I thought I would see if there was some that just grabbed me because I've been wanting to make a shirt. Some did but I wasn't sure how much I would need so I decided to go look at some patterns to get an idea and lo and behold there was a sign saying that Simplicity patterns were 5 for $5! You can bet your ass I jumped on that, patterns are so expensive. In the end with the fabric being half off and the patterns being a veritable steal, I only spent $14 and saved $90. Oh and I couldn't use my coupon because the fabric was already on sale, so I still have it for another day.

Since I forgot the Redbox movie (grabbed the case but not the DVD) I have to go back out again today. I didn't really want to do that, but you have to do what you have to do and its an excellent opportunity for me to get my phone out of the car.

Okay, that's really disturbing! I just got another notice that I have been logged out from another location and do I want to log back in. UGH!   

Whew! time to get my butt in gear.

The last week or so has been filled with people and events. As most of you know, I took Skoora to the air port for her MFA residency in Boston. I couldn't sleep very well with her in the air during bad weather or her being alone in the airport. Then I was having some trouble sleeping because she wasn't home. But we had her cousin Amber over to stay for a few days and the day she left my friend Christine came to stay. She went home today and like usual, she left something behind. She's so silly!


While Christine was here we watched some movies and she started the 2nd season of Supernatural. I took her shopping and out to lunch one day. We also played in the dinning room with the craft supplies. I made a 'good things' jar in which I am going to put all the good things that happen or things that make me happy on a piece of paper to put in the jar for later review. It's a positive reinforcement sort of thing. I also picked up a wooden and glass box that was in the tub of 'things to be painted'. I didn't have much success with this box despite all the of the precautions I took to keep paint off the glass but I have managed to fix nearly every single problem and made the box look cute. Christine decorated a few hair clips and a box she bought. I also crocheted a little on the afghan I am making my parents (which I am sure my Mom will claim solely as hers).


Yesterday I had my first hypnotherapy appointment. It went well, I suppose. I have some reading to do, some workbook pages to complete, and some cds to listen to. I think the hardest part is cutting down meal portions. I didn't really think I ate that much but when you are only supposed to eat 2 cups of food per meal and you like to make full dinners, that can get a little tricky. I don't think I will be cooking as much as I am used to. The good thing, I eat three meals a day and two snacks. The down side is that she wants me to exorcise. Normally that wouldn't bother me but with my back the way it is and the fibromyalgia, there are days I don't move very well much less have the energy to exorcise. But my therapist more than understands this, she lives with the same pain and she is going to try and help me learn to channel and deal with the pain, which in my book is awesome!


At the moment I am at the library, had to pick up some books on jewelry making that I want to look at. Since I wanted some time out of the house, despite the migraine I have pounding my head, I thought I would update my blog. When I get home I need to do some laundry and clean the bathroom and after that, read. I have so much that I want to read. However, tonight I am going to kill beasties in Guild Wars and try to just relax.  

What can I say about today? Where the hell is all the snow?!

Dimitri Belikov played by Danila Kozlovsky

1. He's hot!
2. I am really excited for Vampire Academy to come out next month!
3. I really wish some of his other movies were available for viewing here in the United States with English Subtitles.

Where is all the snow I ask you? Huh? Where is it?! It's not outside on the ground. I live in Northern Idaho, a couple of hours away from the Canadian border. It's winter and there isn't any snow. One of the perks and my favorite things about living up here is the snow. But it's not here. No, in fact it's in Kansas, where my family lives. My Dad said earlier (as in it's after midnight and I haven't gone to bed yet so it's still tonight rather than tomorrow, never mind) that it was snowing in Wichita. It snowed there a few days ago too. The north eastern United States just had a big winter storm and got lots of snow. Parts of airports were even closed. But did we get any snow here? Nope. I am not happy. I'd shake my fist at the sky and bitch at it too if I thought I could get snow, but I doubt it will help.

Sigh.

Today I slept far too late because again last night I couldn't sleep. But I got up and tried to go to Spokane and when I got on the highway I promptly got off at the nearest exit. I need to replace the tires on my car but can't do that until Skoora gets back from her residency. I can still drive the car, just not on the highway and I have to keep an eye on it.

When I got home, I had to babysit cousin Amber while Skoora's parents went to mass. Not a big deal, I let her pick a movie and we chatted a little bit while I started dinner and made my snack cups and some breakfast croissants. no, I haven't learned how to make croissants from scratch yet, I bought some mini ones from the supermarket a couple of days ago and cut up some turkey to put on them along with some cheese and threw the in the oven. Right now, they are in the freezer to be taken out at later dates to be consumed. I also sauteed some onions and mushrooms in balsamic vinegar and butter. When all was said and done, I retreated back into my bedroom and played Guild Wars with my Dad.

I have managed to hurt my back more today, just in leaning back in my chair. My desk chair rocks back a little and I was tired of sitting up straight (well as straight as I could for as long as I was able). I sat back and when I tried to move forward (enter many explicatives and color phrases). And to make matters worse, when I tried to get up, more pain. I kind of stayed locked, unable to really move for a bit until I could breathe and then very very slowly ease into a position that didn't hurt so bad.

Oh and I talked on the phone with my cousin Sheena tonight. She feels kind of bad for trying to help her brother out yesterday. He took the 20 dollars she gave him and spent it on alcohol. His girlfriend called up and said he was missing today and the saddest thing, Sheena checked the recent arrests for the county they live in. Yep, he's in jail and it looks like he might have even gotten violent as well. Personally, I hope he stays in jail for really long time. It's the only time he's ever sober.

Upside, tomorrow my friend is coming for a visit. 

A semi quiet start to the new year.

Rum Geisha © Hannah Richardson

First, I think I need to change and update all of my passwords again. It could be nothing but it could be something. I just opened up blogger and started a new blog where I got a message stating that I just logged out of another location and would I like to log back in. Grrrrr! 

My New Year started quietly with a few games of Rummikub and me coaxing Skoora's mom into drinking a whole bottle of wine. She's not really a drinker. The 1st was spent taking my time in doing almost nothing. I didn't go to the family new year's party, instead I went to Skoora's work and kept her and her assistant manager company for an hour or so. After we got home her parents came in along with a friend from their church and we visited with him meanwhile a Monster High movie was playing in the background. Skoora was kind of nervous about getting ready for her residency. 

Skoora worked the 2nd which made things more difficult for her in terms of being ready to go. Still, we got her packed, last minute errands run, and off to the airport in time for her flight. I was a bit worried since the North East was getting slammed with a winter storm but her plane landed safely, the only down side was that she had to spend the night in the airport last night until the bus could take her to the T (subway) in Boston this morning. I stayed up until about 3 am worried even though we sent text to each other and I spoke to her on the phone a couple of times. And despite not getting but a few hours of sleep the night before and being very tired, I just couldn't go to sleep until I knew she was out of the airport and on her way to the college campus. Then it was a matter of her not being next to me in bed. But exhaustion finally won and I fell asleep. 

I actually slept until a little after 1 in the afternoon. I really hate sleeping that late but didn't let myself get too upset about considering the circumstances. I haven't really done a lot today either. I've mostly played Game of Thrones Ascent on facebook. I saw the ad for it last night and decided to try it out and off and on today I've played. It's a time waster but it is interesting and fun. 

I did manage to get out of the house today and aggravate my back while doing it. I placed a hold on a few jewelry making books and went to go pick them up. After we had dinner, I took Skoora's mom, and Skoora's visiting cousin Amber to Hasting's. I was going to pay for the coffee and Amber's coco but Skoora's mom decided that she would. Then we parted ways in the store, they went to look at some things and I went to look for other things. Skoora's mom kind of rushed me when we met back up again despite me telling her that I was still looking. She wanted to get a book and then I guess decided that she didn't want to wait in line and put it back. In finagling my wallet and my purse, I managed to turn wrong and that's how I managed to make my back hurt worse this time. 

Back at home, Skoora's mom and dad watched Monster's University with Amber and I went out to watch for awhile. I stayed until the end of the movie but couldn't sit through another one. Since then I have been holed up in my room editing some photos, looking at what I have on my deviant art page, and yeah, that's about it. I should have logged on to play Guild Wars but I just didn't feel like it. I wanted to read but I didn't feel like doing that either. Writing was on my mind but again, I didn't feel like much of that. 

So here I am again, it's the middle of the night. I'm by myself, the cats want to go in and out, and I can't sleep but this time, I really wish I could! I don't think I will sleep very well until Skoora comes home.

Oh and my friend Christine B is coming to visit on Sunday. I'm not sure how long she's going to stay, but I don't care. I don't know if she will buy any fabric or not but she's asked me to make some pillow cases for her.