Funeral drama and more wedding stuff!

On Wednesday, we drove over to Kellogg Idaho, to attend Amanda's Aunt Nancy's funeral. It was a Catholic funeral and while I have been to more than my fair share of funerals, I've never experienced a Catholic one. I didn't know what to expect but I wasn't expecting that. While it was a nice service, it was rushed. The Priest apparently knew before hand that not a lot of the attendees were of the Catholic persuasion so he was trying to hurry it along. Somehow, I feel that's cheating Aunt Nancy. She was Catholic, she deserves the kind of service she would have wanted. That was my first annoyance. 

My second was that on the way over, Amanda's Mom, in formed us that her Aunt Sandy had heard that we are getting married. Sandy hates gay people. She won't even acknowledge that her own female-to-male- trans Grandson is, in fact, trans, and in a same sex relationship. Well, she apparently spouted that even if we did invite her, she wouldn't go. Amanda's Aunt Lola said "That's fine Sandy, because you're not invited." Which of course pissed Sandy off because she wasn't going to get the opportunity to snub us. So she took it out on us at the funeral. She sat directly behind us and shot us dirty looks. It was so bad, I could feel it. Then, in the dining hall for luncheon, she hurried over to tell us that she was sitting next to Amanda's parents and that we couldn't sit there, as we were pulling out chairs to sit. Amanda and I simply smiled and told her "Okay". Since by that time there weren't any tables left, we found spare chairs and sat down to eat. I told Amanda that she did that on purpose. Amanda agreed. The church staff saw us sitting in a corner, at the back of the room, and found a table for us and Amanda's autistic cousin Amber- who is a sweet and very innocent girl. 

Well, as we were eating lunch with her cousin, one of Amanda's older, adult cousins was standing behind her and just looking at Amanda like she was the most disgusting thing on the planet. No, I am not exaggerating. This man, last I was told, still will not speak to his gay daughter. It is appalling. To make matters worse, he decided to poke at poor Amber. Her mother and Aunt Nancy didn't get along and so Amber's Mom chose to stay home and baby sit for one of Amber's older siblings. Well Amanda;s older male cousin kept asking her where her mom was. Amber got so upset and told him to stop. I have never seen her so upset. He just laughed and walked away. If I had not been at a funeral, I would have ripped him apart, but I have far too much respect for Nancy and for Amanda's Mother to cause more drama than there already had been with Nancy's kids.

Also, while we were at the funeral, two of Amanda's family member decided to take the opportunity to inform us that they WOULD be at our wedding or tell us "I had BETTER be invited".  Excuse me?! We were at a funeral. It wasn't about us, it was about Aunt Nancy. Furthermore, why the hell would we invite people who never speak to us on a normal day, who we barely know, and wouldn't have anything to do with if they weren't family? Amanda and I think they just want to come as spectators, like we are the freaks in a freak show and they want to spread the sensational event as gossip at drunken family events. No thank you! They can just fuck right on off. We don't want and or need that kind of bullshit at something we hold very scared and personal, nor do we need people snicker or bad mouthing it later on. 

Normally this kind of crap wouldn't bother me so much, but the way in which they did this, and that it was at a funeral, really got to me. By the time we left, I felt very alienated. My depression monster took my hand and led me down a dark spiral. It's bad enough that I am a lesbian and that hurts my Grandma. She doesn't know I am Pagan but if she did, it might just kill her because she is so Christian and is terrified that I won't be with her in Heaven someday. She's said as much when I was younger and she was worried about my parents not going to church. Anyway, so I won't be able to share this with her. The only relatives I will have, will be my parents. My cousin Shi-chan can't make it. But what really got me, is that none of my friends have even bothered to say "congrats". I don't need them to come, I know money is tight for nearly everyone, but if I can remember to get on facebook and tell them happy birthday, wouldn't it stand that a little recognition that I'm getting married be a given? Perhaps not. 

There is one friend from my high school days who has contacted me to tell me that she would love to come to my wedding. At first I was excited at the prospect but realized that I wasn't going to have room for her and I wasn't going to ask my friends here to house her. She's a bit strange and recently judgemental. She used to be pagan but became a born again chrisitan. That didn't really bother me until she started talking shit about gay people and their right to get married. She was very against. So when I asked if that meant that I was a bad person and if she didn't like me anymore, she said, "not you, you;re okay." I about flipped my shit. You don't get to pick and choose which gay people get married and which don't or for that matter which gays are okay and which ones aren't. 

Anyway, I spoke to Amanda about her coming and despite all the anti-gay stuff, the uber christian stuff, I still wanted to see my friend. Amanda and I decided that since we don't really have the room for her for the wedding, she could come for a visit after the wedding and that way we could truly hang out. I mean she's the first friend from back home that has actually wanted to come visit me. But when I told my friend that, she replied with "a visit is different from a wedding. I am okay with crashing on sofas or the floor". Are you fucking kidding me? that sounds like she just wants to come see a freak wedding and not actually spend any real time with me and Amanda at all. I'm trying to look at it as she just worded it wrong. She did say that she would have to talk her her husband about it, but honestly at this point, with everything. No, just no. I don't have time for this. 

But that's the negative stuff. The positive is that our friend Rachel came over last night to begin helping me with my bolero jacket for the wedding. We didn't actually get much done, but we did go and exchange the pattern I had for a bigger one and discuss what I wanted. I also bought some fall hand soap from the fabric store. It was on a 5 for $5 deal and I freaking love that stuff! We took Tsuki along because she needed some fabric quarters and some teal embroidery thread. She also wanted to grab some food. 

The other good and positive wedding thing is that Amanda has started the framework for our handfasting ceremony. I haven't really been in the right mid set to help her much, but I saw what she had this morning and I'm starting to get there. I need to write my vows and see if there is anything else I want, like a poem or a reading of some kind, to be read during the ceremony. I am not sure what I want yet. 

Lastly, I have a picture of one of the invitations I made. They aren't spectacular, but we like them. I blurred out some things in the bottom picture, so I'd maintain a bit more privacy. You understand.