The Muslim Woman Teacher, the jealous girlfriend, sad news, and "I can't even".

I recently learned that the band H.I.M. is on their farewell tour. I know all good things come to an end, but I really liked them and while I haven't been to concerts in a a few years, I would have gone to see them if they came close to where I live. That's my sad news. I mean really, it could be a lot worse. 

I've either fallen asleep watching TV or planned to sleep on the sofa for the last couple of nights. Amanda and I have both been tired and so much so that we're too tried to go in and change the bed sheets by the end of the day. We've been too tired to do a lot and have pushed through anyway. Last week was a bit rough for both of us. Cousin Kat came and left over the weekend and then I had several days where I was in a lot of pain, foggy brained, and or really depressed. All of that is exhausting and instead of trying to fight it all and wear myself out more, I said 'fuck it' and decided to play Guild Wars 2. That was good, although frustrating because a lot of stuff is different and I'm not sure I was following things clearly. 

Anyway back to the T.V. NHK does some documentaries called Inside Lens. This week its about a Muslim woman in Indonesia who runs a religious boarding school. She teaches, runs it, and gives talks about how men should treat women better, equality, and how without strong women and mothers, we wouldn't have strong nations. She is AMAZING! She didn't used to run the school, it was her husbands school but he passed away and for awhile she was a little lost. But she is very religious and prayed and found her answer to be that she would keep the school running on her own, that the only man she needed was God. Here is the link for the documentary: https://www3.nhk.or.jp/nhkworld/en/tv/lens/

I decided to do a written role play with cousin Kat. She's had a lot of hell recently and I wanted to give her a little something to look forward too, in my own way, that I knew I could do. There's not a whole lot I feel that I can do lately, so this at least gets me doing something constructive. Anyway, I've wanted to write a Kitsune story. I started a book years ago but never got very far with it. So, I decided to have a Kitsune character once again and see what I could come up with this time. I gave him a horrible back story and then wrote the opening post. When I read it to Amanda, she was a little and cutely jealous. She wants to play with Noritoki and really liked my opening. She even thought it would make a good novel on its own. 

Speaking of Amanda, we've both had a crummy last couple of weeks. The good stuff has been getting to see Cousin Kat, seeing a couple of friends, and the new episodes of My Little Pony on Netflix. Amanda was so depressed last night that she wanted to finish out the episodes, except that kind of backfired. The last episode was about Applejack's parents- who while the show has never said it, that I can remember, aren't living. The apple family siblings learned about their parents beginning relationship and how they came to be married. But both Amanda and I were really upset because while we know their parents are gone, we don't know the why or the how and ugh! So I suggested we watch some of season 2 of Kamisama Kiss because that's fun and cute and it has a pissy Kitsune named Tomoe who is freaking awesome, gorgeous, and I just love him. I also really like the anime because it make me laugh. There was an instance last night where one of the characters (we are watching the american dub- I like both thank you-) says "I can't even" and while a lot of people use that phrase, I've even used that phrase, it was so unexpected in an anime that it struck my funny bone just right. I'm still giggling over it. 

But that's the mostly happy stuff. We've got more car issues than we bargained for, as in it didn't pass the emissions test so we couldn't buy car tags and won't be able to until we can afford to get it worked on and then of it has to pass or we will have had to do 150 dollars worth of work on it to try to get it to pass before we can buy car tags. Amanda got me some bus passes for when I need to go somewhere and a friend is taking me to an appointment this afternoon. Aside from that, it's just pain, depression, panic attacks, and wedding stress.  

Car-less, down one phone, reaching 300, strange dreams

Colonel Roy Mustang from 1st Fullmetal Alchemist Series. 

I'm sorry if I have missed something important in the blogosphere. I will eventually catch up on everyone's news, even if it takes me one blog at a time. I have been really busy lately, and yet not. 

We visited a friend on Monday and then Amanda took our friend Fiona home yesterday. Fiona had been here for quite awhile actually. While I appreciate all her help with cooking and cleaning and hanging out, I was ready for her to go home. Nothing against her, I just want time alone with Amanda. Anyway, in taking Fiona home, Amanda left the car for Fiona's Dad to work on for the rest of the week. We've been really concerned about a squeeky belt and also the car sounds like a fan that has paper stuck in it and since it is the only car we have at the moment and can't afford to replace it anytime soon, we need to keep it running. 

We are also down one cell phone. Amanda left hers at her parents house yesterday when they brought her home. We should get it back this weekend though. So she's been using the alarm on my phone to help her wake up in the morning. 

I have had some pretty interesting dreams as of late. Strange, intense, and vivid. I want to write them down but I'm only recalling tiny bits and pieces, feelings or notions, not enough that I feel I can string together properly. Oh well. This is what I get for not writing them down as soon as I wake up.

Yes, I am still pretty deep in the world of Fullmetal Alchemist in so much as I have watched a few episodes of anime here and there, looked at some pretty pictures, read some doujinshi, and am still working on the rewrite of my fanfic. I'm less than 30 pages from hitting the 300 page mark and I've still got a lot more to do. I figure if I have to, I can cut some stuff later. Amanda thinks I should post it, so people can see the difference between the story then and the story now and the progression of my writing... I may have already mentioned this- it's been awhile, sorry- if I haven't well, now you know. I don't know if I want to post it or not. Right now I just want to finish it and edit it. Then enjoy it for myself. I've got a couple of friends who want to read it. I know if I sent it to my Mom, she'd read it. It's kind of weird but I kind of wish Amanda was interested in reading it. I've told her a lot of it, asked her for her opinion on some things, brainstormed with her, so she pretty much already knows it. She'd not really the biggest fan of heterosexual romance stories and that is okay. She did say that she'd rather read and help me edit my novels when I get my ass in gear to work on them.

Speaking of novels. I've been getting images and feeling drawn or tugged predominately by three different characters. One is a mage, one is a witch, and one is a dragon. All three want my attention, all three want me to write their stories, and I've had to put my foot down because I am bound and determined to finish the story I am working on. I have such a hard time finishing stories, especially bigger ones, that I feel I simply must end this one before I can move onto another project.  

Oh and the other night, while attempting to lay down (I haven't been about to really lay down since surgery, kind of hurts and I am such a stomach sleeper), I came up with another Fullmetal Alchemist story. Mostly I was overheated, in pain, and trying to tell myself a story to help me go to sleep. Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't. That night it didn't. But I got to thinking, after telling Amanda and Fiona about it later, that why make it fanfiction when I can easily make changes and create my own world, my own magical system, and so on. So yeah, that's another character that's wanting my attention. 

While writing has encompassed a good deal of my life lately, at least I don't feel manic anymore. I'm actually a lot happier and feel better than I have in a long time. I'm watching anime, listening to music that calls and inspires me, I'm not worrying about what other people want all the time. Shit, I've been laughing a lot more and louder. I almost peed the other day from laughing. It's been ages since I've laughed that hard. It's kind of freaking me out. I didn't think I could get that loud. 

On the family front, my Grandparents are still in the rehabilitation center trying to get well enough to go home. I haven't spoken to my parents in a couple of days and need to. Everyone else seems to be okay, at least no one has called, messaged, or e-mailed me any different. 

Well, I have had enough of a break and it is time that I get a little bit more writing done before I get too tried to hold my eyes open.