I don't know what it is that is so utterly defeating about looking for a job. Every time I get online to look at the latest local postings on various job search engines I tend to fall into a slight panic/depression. Depression is, I suppose from seeing that nearly everything wanted takes some kind of degree or prior training or knowing they won't hire you because you are too fat or you know you really can't do that job or this job. The panic stems from the horrifying knowledge that I still work OLC and that I'm not getting out of there anytime soon.
I had to go to the doctor because I was having panic attacks before work. They were awful, the kind where you can't stop shaking, almost hyperventilate, and can't stop sobbing. Doc put me on an anxiety medication that seemed to help but not enough and since she has increased the dosage... well, it just made things that much worse. This medication make me stutter sometimes, which in a call center doesn't make for an easy time. SO in trying to alleviate some of the stress, I feel like we just added to it.
And this morning I got on the net to look for some new jobs and... yeah. The only thing I found that I could do is a school bus driving job. They pay well enough for me do it, I can drive with distractions pretty well and know may way around the city. Besides they give you a map with your route on it.