|This is actually my desktop background at the moment|
But no matter how pathetic it is or was I was so upset about having the panic attack that I ended up spinning myself off into one far worse than the one I'd had the night before. It was so bad that I had to take half a nerve pill, and call my Mom. She had to help me calm down because I wasn't able to do so on my own. I'm 29 (le gasp!) and I can't seem to calm myself down? There is something seriously wrong with that. And what is more frustrating is that my current therapist can't seem to figure out why I came back to therapy. Because I need some help and someone to talk to so I don't scare my family and friends, duh! I'm mean what the hell am I paying you for?
After I ended the call with my Mom, mostly because the medicine was kicking in and I was starting to fall asleep on her, I did, in fact, sleep. I slept hard for several hours mostly out of exhaustion. I didn't even wake when Skoora's Mom came in to check on me.
The point is that I desperately need to pull myself back and really take time to get a tight grasp on senses of calm and peace. I need to get back to my center and quit trying to do everything and make things easier on everyone else for a little while.