Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Can't catch a break. Oh look eye candy!

Because I need a "make me happy" pic
I went for training yesterday. Everything went well, but I have one as far as I can go until their various background checks come back. Once those come through and are approved, then they will call me back. It would be two days, it could be two weeks from now. I actually had a pretty good day except for that I am back on my period and have been bleeding excessively heavy for the last couple of days, again. In other words, hemorrhaging. AGAIN. So I took lots of pad to training with me, took several bathroom breaks just to keep on top of it. Only I wasn't able to.

Near the end of the day, just as I was about to ask for another bathroom break, I had a problem. Luckily, I got my bathroom break, only to learn that things were so bad that I'd filled and overrun the pad I was wearing. Blood was not only soaked into my pants but had seeped down my leg a little it. So, of course, I panicked a little and did what I could to clean myself up. Then I cleaned my pants up as best as I could and spent the last hour, hiding it. I would have just asked to go home, had I gone in my own car. Since we couldn't afford the gas for my car this time around, Skoora dropped me off at the labor office and her Dad was to come pick me up. Also, I didn't say anything because I have been let go from jobs before because of health issues and I really didn't want to be barred from this one before I'd even been hired, especially since this one is so perfect. Oh and I would like to point out that the blood was only in the front, had it been in the back, I would have said "screw it" and just gone home. But, I made it the last hour, called Skoora's Dad and hurried home to finish cleaning myself up.

Not that it did me much good. I'm still having problems, the cramps are so bad I want to vomit, I've got a migraine, and oh yeah, this is the first time since yesterday afternoon that I haven't been so exhausted that I can't stand it. I was in so much pain last night that I was crying involuntarily and I asked Skooka if I stabbed myself enough to tear things up, did she think the ER would be forced to do an emergency hysterectomy? She said she didn't think they would, that they would probably just patch me up and send me home. BUT what else am I to do? The birth control only worked for the time I took it and it was a problem in and of itself. I can't drive with migraines. But I can't drive and risk potentially passing out or making a mess in a company vehicle either. Sure I can keep wearing the monster huge pads and cover the seat with a puppy pad, which is embarrassing, but that's not going to save my clothes and I would still have to get out and open doors for the clients, who by the way are all going to basically be redneck railroad conductors and engineers.

I am at a loss. I would never be able to get the surgery I need because I cannot afford it and Idaho opted out of the health care act so I don't get automatically covered. I can't get a medical card unless I am deemed by the courts as disabled, been there done that, was denied, so that's not going to work either. The only way I can get a hysterectomy is if it is a life or death situation. It doesn't matter that it's interfering with all aspects of my life and well being. 


  1. :( We'll talk to Erica on Friday and see what we can do honey. This whole thing just sucks. I'm sorry that you had to sit there in dirty clothes. I don't think you should have to do puppy pads but definitely bring a spare change of clothes in your work bag with you if you are able to in the future. Just in case.

    1. I just hope that she can suggest something that will work that isn't a D&C

  2. I'm so sorry to hear your periods are causing you so much grief! For the last two months mine have been 26 days apart instead of 28 and this month I'm now on 29 days. Not that it's a trouble, but I wonder if I'm starting to go through the change. My periods were never regular most of my life until several years ago when for the first time ever, they became regular. Shrugs. Who'da thunk it at my age?

    I hope your new job work out for you. Since you'll be driving, be sure to get out, stretch and walk around a bit as often as you're able so you don't have circulation problems from sitting.

    Have you ever thought of trying depend undergarments for when your bleeding is heaviest and at night? It might cut down on accidents like that. I know those things are expensive but perhaps they'd last a couple or few cycles if you wear them with a pad inside them.

    It really pisses me off that all but two of the red states opted out of health care.

    1. At least you have an idea of when they are coming, that is a blessing!

      I will be sure to keep moving so I don't have problems with circulation. I think going to the Kroc center will help with that too. All the swimming and using the elliptical machine keeps me moving. Of course, I have to be able to leave the house to do all of that. I have an appointment with my doctor on Friday.

      Yes, I have thought of depends and poise pads. I've been bleeding the most during the day strangely enough.

      It pisses me off too. I hope Kansas isn't one that opted out, I was hoping that I could get a hysterectomy there. Now I have to go look stuff up. I hate looking up this kind of stuff. Give me history, give me random fun stuff, or useless triva and I'll be all over it. But health care stuff, yuck!

  3. I am so sorry to hear how much pain and discomfort you are in. Idaho, huh? Over the last year I have been hearing and reading so many scary things about so many of your states :(

    I guess you can't travel to another state and get it done? You have to pay for it yourself either way? That sucks. Maybe you should move to Europe.

    1. The Northern part of Idaho, where I live, is very beautiful landscape wise. Politically and socially, not so much. If Butch Otter, one of the state reps, hasn't gotten the law over turned, Skoora and I could get married here now. But even still, we wouldn't advertise it to anyone except close family and friends.

      I don't know if I would be allowed to go to another state to get any health work done and if I did, I would probably have to pay for it myself.

      I do want to visit Europe someday. I don't know about moving though, don't know that I would have the money for it yet. Maybe after I become a published author with a couple of books under my belt.