|Because I need a "make me happy" pic|
Near the end of the day, just as I was about to ask for another bathroom break, I had a problem. Luckily, I got my bathroom break, only to learn that things were so bad that I'd filled and overrun the pad I was wearing. Blood was not only soaked into my pants but had seeped down my leg a little it. So, of course, I panicked a little and did what I could to clean myself up. Then I cleaned my pants up as best as I could and spent the last hour, hiding it. I would have just asked to go home, had I gone in my own car. Since we couldn't afford the gas for my car this time around, Skoora dropped me off at the labor office and her Dad was to come pick me up. Also, I didn't say anything because I have been let go from jobs before because of health issues and I really didn't want to be barred from this one before I'd even been hired, especially since this one is so perfect. Oh and I would like to point out that the blood was only in the front, had it been in the back, I would have said "screw it" and just gone home. But, I made it the last hour, called Skoora's Dad and hurried home to finish cleaning myself up.
Not that it did me much good. I'm still having problems, the cramps are so bad I want to vomit, I've got a migraine, and oh yeah, this is the first time since yesterday afternoon that I haven't been so exhausted that I can't stand it. I was in so much pain last night that I was crying involuntarily and I asked Skooka if I stabbed myself enough to tear things up, did she think the ER would be forced to do an emergency hysterectomy? She said she didn't think they would, that they would probably just patch me up and send me home. BUT what else am I to do? The birth control only worked for the time I took it and it was a problem in and of itself. I can't drive with migraines. But I can't drive and risk potentially passing out or making a mess in a company vehicle either. Sure I can keep wearing the monster huge pads and cover the seat with a puppy pad, which is embarrassing, but that's not going to save my clothes and I would still have to get out and open doors for the clients, who by the way are all going to basically be redneck railroad conductors and engineers.
I am at a loss. I would never be able to get the surgery I need because I cannot afford it and Idaho opted out of the health care act so I don't get automatically covered. I can't get a medical card unless I am deemed by the courts as disabled, been there done that, was denied, so that's not going to work either. The only way I can get a hysterectomy is if it is a life or death situation. It doesn't matter that it's interfering with all aspects of my life and well being.