Thursday, October 2, 2014

Labels: just one of those things that really gets on my nerves

Okay, here's the thing, I am sick of people being so centered on labels. It's kind of like how people are so obsessed with words. Everyone is so hypersensitive and afraid of hurting precious little snowflakes that we have trigger warnings and stupid unnecessary things like that. Everything is so PC it's almost sickening and god(s) forbid you step off that PC line with the wrong person. The wrong person, the person who is hypersensitive or is playing hypersensitive to champion someone else's cause will run you into the ground and make you feel like shit just because you slipped up and said "that's gay" or that "that's retarded" or even "you guys". Or god forbid you try to categorize them when describing them to other people or not categorize them properly.  

Now, don't get me wrong, I totally understand being respectful of someone else, but lecturing or tearing into someone because you got all butt hurt over a label or a word really doesn't help your cause. In fact, most of the time it just pisses people off and chances are you made things worse because now they will act and speak out of spite.

Instead of all of this nonsense, we need to get out of the grade school mentality and grow up, get thicker skins. There are much bigger issues going on in the world than if Jimmy down the street called you an offensive name or Sally, who you work with, told someone you were such and such. 

Here is what I believe:

Labels are expressions, definitions, and cages of who we are. But we are more than our labels. 
For instance, I am a Heathen and a Kitchen Witch (both things I came into gradually and am still learning about). I am a writer. I am in a lesbian relationship. I am a feminist a cat lover, anime lover, bibliophile, writer, cook, and house wife. Medical professionals term me morbidly obese. I am a brunette, white, female. A Mormon once called me unteachable but that was because I was refused to convert to Mormonism. I am not unteachable, I am learning something everyday from school, from life, and from self reflection.

My point: there are many other labels I could attach to myself to give you an idea of who I am and what I like. But they aren't the whole picture. There is so much more to me! I am a growing, individual creature. My labels can cage me but I don't let them. I move past them, grow beyond their limitations. Sure, they are a quick way, a snapshot if you will, of getting to know someone on the surface, but they don't really tell the story. Which is why I get so damned frustrated with people immediately jumping on the "well I am trans/gay/christian/ect.." thing right away as if that's all I need to know about them. None of that tells me if they are a good person, if they would make a good friend. All it does tell me is that we may or may not have something in common.

Labels can be building blocks but if you rely on them too heavily, they will limit you.   


  1. My labels can cage me but I don't let them. I move past them, grow beyond their limitations. - I love that line because people so often forget that humans DO grow and change and we can move fluidly from one state to the next. Sexuality constantly changes, likes and dislikes, job status, our religious preferences... people can enjoy a label if they like but they should certainly never feel trapped by it. Labels are soooo temporary. People need to recognize that. <3 Nice post, honey!

  2. Great post! The whole 'that's gay' thing always amuses me. My son is in a same sex relationship but doesn't consider himself 'gay' and he [and his partner!] always say 'that's gay' about something they find silly or ridiculous. Someone once corrected him about the whole PC thing and he said, "Oh! That's right! It's not 'gay' it's 'ghey'.

    I'll be the first person to admit that I have a thin skin and I get butthurt all the time but I generally recognize that as something that's a personal issue. It's one of the reasons I sort of tend to stick around that Heathen board. To get a thicker skin. That's one of the first things I posted: That I'd need a thicker skin and a bigger hammer. I was just asking for it really. I couldn't resist. Someone once posted something about making the choice to allow people/things, etc to hurt you and it said, "Just because someone gives you a cactus doesn't mean you have to sit on it." I said, "But what if I need to know how it feels to sit on a cactus?" >.< I was being facetious of course but I often do things on purpose that I suspect will have undesirable fallout for myself. Because I just.can't.resist! Because I'm a fool but when the shit hits the fan and all the Kings and pawns go back into the same box, just think of all the stories I'll have to tell! :-D

    And my skin seems to stay thin no matter how many cactuses I sit on. Maybe this /next/ one wont hurt! LOL!

    If anyone gets a laugh out of it, it's win/win.

  3. And hey, Loki tied one end of a rope to a goats beard and the other to his nuts to make Skadi laugh and ended up saving the day. Foolishness has it's payoffs even if the fool doesn't benefit, someone else usually does. Hee!

    1. I have not read that myth yet. LOL. I just finished the one in Kevin Crossley-Holland's book about how Sleipnir came to be. *wink!* Although, you'd think an extra set of legs wouldn't make him faster, it would trip him up but what do I know? :)

    2. Heheheh. Makes me think of the "chicken lover" episode of southpark! I don't see how that particular part of Loki's experience was necessary, so he's obviously just a shameless perv. But Sleipner was a kingly gift.

  4. I understand what you are saying, but I have some experience coming from the other side of labels. I have suffered emotionally all my life, and even though I have contacted the health care at a couple of different times in my life, no-one could really help me. Not until I decided to diagnose myself and walk into Triage did I finally get a diagnosis, a label, and they could start helping me. I am sure that my diagnosis would have stunted and hurt me had I gotten it at 16, but at 35 I was desperate. Having a diagnosis, a label, a word I can use to explain to people, makes it all so much easier - now.

    1. It's really a double edged sword, I think. We use labels to identify or explain things, but at the same time while that label helps, people use it to hurt people. That's why I say we are more than our labels. I can't believe no one would help you until you self diagnosed yourself... then again it took until I was 28 before anyone would start doing anything or even take me seriously about my irregular periods. I even went to the emergency room one night to get help because I was hurting and bleeding so bad. Four hours later, they tried to discharge me with the wrong chart and nothing was done. I had to move to Idaho before anyone was done and even then I had to do research into my own problem. Still can't get much help but at least I have a diagnosis.