That's not what that means and when the pain keeps you up.

well this is a lie...

You know those silly little tests and quizzes you can find on the internet. Well, some of my Facebook friends were doing the one above and I refuse to link to it because it is inaccurate. Hannah or the Japanese equivalent of my name "Hana" means flower in Japanese, not Star as my first run through of this test said, and not warrior. But I did like the picture and while my name may not mean warrior, I am going to keep this and maybe print it out for a manifestation board because it is something to hang on to when I'm down. And I have been really, horribly down lately. 

Pain has kept me awake longer and and more frequently lately. I didn't sleep the night before last, had to take Amanda to work, and finally crashed from plain and simple exhaustion after 10 am yesterday. I awoke around 2 pm. Last night it took Amanda trying to tell me a story- she fell asleep-, me throwing the blankets off me to get cold and then warming up, and telling myself a story, getting up and down a few times, before I finally got some sleep. I don't know what time it was but what I do know is that it was almost 1 pm before I awoke today and I awoke in a lot of pain. I haven't been able to quell said pain all day. I tried applying Tiger Balm to all the places that hurt and then some lavender lotion to my hands so that I might relax and sleep, but I just could not get comfortable. Between poor Amanda's snoring (she had sleep apenea and her doctor is working on getting her a Cpap) and the pain, I just said fuck it, and surrendered to the living room. I thought, I might as well try to write since I had a bit of the urge to write today. 

That's not working out so well for me at the moment. I've been to facebook, went to the National Novel Writer's Month website and set up my novel for this year, and have even opened a word document. So far, not one word of my novel has been written. Okay, that's not totally true. I am working on a novel that I tried and have failed to write for the last couple of years. It's a long, depressing story, and maybe I just wasn't ready to write it when I thought I was. Whatever. Suffice it to say, while I was actually kind of dreading signing up and participating in NaNoWriMo this year, and I am late to the party, I am going to do it anyway. 

 My Dad is apparently taking up the challenge this year too. He asked me how many words I had written and when I told him none, he said he had me beat because he has 300+. He and my Mom were on their way to my Grandparent's house and in the background I could hear my Mom instructing me to send her some of my new stories because she is out of things to read again. I don't have that many, just the ones I did for school... But this was pretty much the politest way my Mom could crack her whip and tell me to get my ass in gear. She can be a real bitch with all the "now now now" stuff (she has OCD). But in this instance, it was actually kind of nice.