Thursday, October 7, 2010

Funk a Funk...

This week I've managed to make Pumpkin bread, two rounds of chicken stir fry (my own concoction), and now I am making a roast for dinner. And I just burnt the crap out of my tongue doing a brief taste test. The good news is, the roast tastes great.

Aside from cooking adventures in the kitchen, I've sort of slipped into a funk. I haven't been feeling too well lately and at first thought it was head cold. Now, I'm not so sure and don't have the foggiest idea of what's eating me. Of course not feeling well doesn't help with how utterly frustrated and surprisingly confused I've felt for the last several days. I find myself apologizing over and over again for the most minuscule things or getting angry over nothing. And shockingly enough my usual outlet of writing hasn't been the least bit helpful, leaving me with a profound feeling of helplessness and being stuck with no idea what to do or who to talk to about it. Stranger still, I feel like if I express my concerns or feelings, then I will somehow be in trouble.

Now that's just weird, I'm almost 27, I shouldn't have such childish notions in my head and yet they are there. Mix all of it together in the stew pot simmering in my head and I can't seem to settle down enough to even try to the most mundane of tasks without feeling guilty, upset, and horribly frustrated and trying to sit. Forget trying to lose myself in a story or a book for a moment or two and most certainly knock writing right out the window. It seems that for the moment, until I can suss out the issues and figure a way to deal with them, I'm afraid I'm going to be stuck in living limbo and to me, that is a terribly frightening place to be.

But everything will work out eventually and something really awesome will happen.

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