Sunday, September 7, 2014

The little ways people disrespect you

Narcisa on the Kitty Tower

Last time I posted I wrote about how Skoora's Dad calls Narcisa "Narcisa A. Frog". Well I haven't really been too thrilled with that, because like I said I would like cat to learn her name first before we give her nick names. So, as usual, it was a matter of me giving in. Did I want my cat to be named Narcisa. A Frog? No. Do I want her called 'Cisa' or 'Cisa Pissa'? I will probably never get to have kids of my own and that's okay. I've always viewed my animals as my kids and every parents gets to name their kids what they want. Now here's where it gets interesting.

Skoora's Aunt Lola came over today and she's one of the most judgmental people I've ever met. She talks shit on Honey Boo Boo but will watch Duck Dynasty and other assorted reality TV shows. Anyway, this woman actually sat on our sofa and asked me if I would help her come up with some 'real different hors d'oeuvres' for a party she is throwing sometime this month. Skoora's mom immediately pipes up "Oh yeah, we'll help you". Firstly, I never agreed, never even had the chance to and secondly, if she jumps in really quick with the word "we" it really means that she will take over the project completely and never even give me a chance to do anything or she will take over it and dictate how everything will be done.  Already on edge today from still being out of depression meds and having wide spread pain throughout my body from the fibromyalgia and on top of the lower back pain that's really started kicking up again, you can imagine how pissed I was with what came next.

Not two minutes after asking me to cook for her party, Aunt Lola looks at Narcisa and starts talking about how the name doesn't fit her because she's too spunky. That Narcisa will never learn her name because it's too long and that there are articles to prove that cats don't answer to names more that one or two syllables. She said Narcisa doesn't answer to her name because she doesn't like it. Further Aunt Lola doesn't like the name and refuses to call her by it. When I tried to argue that Narcisa doesn't answer to her name because we've only had her a little over a month and in that time it's no wonder since no one will actually call her by her name, Lola argued that it was because the name didn't fit and that Narcisa just doesn't like it. 

What. The. Fuck?! What is she suddenly the "Cat Whisperer"? Narcisa is learning her name, it isn't too hard for her because I call her and she looks at me. Not all the time but a lot of the time, usually when she isn't wound tighter than a spring. If Narcisa was a human child, Aunt Lola and Skoora's parents probably wouldn't like it but they would be a little more respectful about it. Narcisa is my cat, not Lola's, and not Skoora's parent's. MINE, so if I want to name my cat Narcisa, then they are going to call her by her name. Not doing so, for me, at this stage of the game, after three years of little things like this all piling up, is just another way of them disrespecting me and I have well passed had it. 

For fuck's sake, my mother who has never been able to hear or pronounce things very well, had me repeat Narcisa's name to her several times so she should learn it. She is the one person who actually has an excuse for not saying or needing to cut Narcisa's name down and she puts forth the effort to say it right out of respect for me. 


  1. I can't believe Lola was such a butt about Narcisa's name. And just so know you, we aren't calling her nicknames to be mean or disrespectful (at least not on my part). I call her Cisa Pissa every now and then but you have to remember that she's my cat, too. But that aside, you got a really nice of her on the kitty tower there! And her eyes are really turning orange instead of babyshit brown LOL.

    1. It might be a double standard for me to say it's one thing for us to give her nick names vs, everyone else, but I even still I wanted to wait until she'd learned her name. She's a baby and just like with all babies, they have to learn the sounds before they can talk or learn the steps before they can walk. One we are confident that she knows her own name, then we can play around with nick names. And I have explained all of this over and over and again, but they don't seem to care. I'm starting to understand more and more how Sam felt when she'd expressly ask your parents not to do something but they would go ahead and do whatever it was that they wanted assuming that she'd get over it or give in. That's not happening, not with me, and not any more.

  2. Well, I have more than two cents for your aunt:
    Cats are proven to respond better to "s" sounds than any other, and preferably spoken in a bright and soft voice. A name like Narcisa is the PERFECT name to give a cat, given that she will always hear you.

    Second: Narcisa means self-love, and if that's not a great name for a spunky cat that goes her own way, I don't know what is..!

    I am feeling especially pissy towards toxic family members right now, but stand your ground. Don't let the bastards keep you down.

    1. This is good knowledge to have for the next time Aunt Lola decides to go on a "I'm not calling your pet by it's name" rant and she will. Thank you :)

      I more understand pissy feelings toward toxic family members all to well. There are several in my family and several in Skoora's. Together you would like that we would have enough ammunition to write amazing novels, but I rather think Skoora is a bit more like me in that she writes to escape family drama and childish behavior and doesn't want to revisit it in something we enjoy.

  3. Hi
    We have cats and in my experience they do as they please
    They sometimes respond and sometimes they give me the finger.
    Either way you have the right to call your cat whatever you want.. & in time she'll learn her name... It takes a while.
    Sorry you're feeling bad right now...
    I wanted to let you know that you won a giveaway on my blog
    I need your details though :)
    Hope you feel better soon.