Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Playing with crazy people

I attract crazy people. No, really I do. It's seems like I have a collection of them. I don't know the why or the how. My girlfriend thinks I have some kind of invisible beacon or something written across my forehead that attracts people. My Dad has theorized that it's my natural proclivity to stick up for the weird under dogs. I'm still friends or at least in contact with some of the misfits I went to high school with. You know, the D&D, Magic the Gathering, Video Game playing, Science and Book nerd kind of crowd and nearly all of us have some sort of personal issue of some kind and are very strange and have all sorts of weird quirks that most people find well, a little crazy. For instance, one friend rocks compulsively, another makes lewd comments and farts and burps and laughs in a really creepy way. Another knows entirely too much about how to combat Zombies and gets really intense when telling you anything. Another friend just kind of gives people the creepy vibe all around (probably had something to do with that he was kind of desperate for a girlfriend for a long time).

I seem to have collected more (they're all mine ha ha, ehm) as I have gotten older via the Internet. I've met people on various forums where I've gone to post art work or stories. I've met people via Myspace, Yahoo 360 and Yahoo Groups. There's nothing wrong with crazy people, sometimes they add a little spice to life and I don't hold any social or mental or physical problems against anyone, that's just not my way. However, and this is going to sound contradictory, I do have a problem with people who really let the crazy out on me or some one close to me. Okay, I get someone having a bad day, I get them having been burnt by past friends or lovers, and I more than understand that sometimes people are just freaking weird.

My girlfriend and I recently had a friend just go bananas on us. For the most part this friend is really nice, has, what I think are some far out ideas about things, and I've had trouble keeping up with her on some of what she says (I almost always have to ask her to explain something or go look something up). She's lonely, she did some not to great things in her life, she's away from any family that truly maters ect... I met her via a forum where I posted some writing. She wanted me to read her writing and we just started talking. We even did a written role play together. Eventually I had to stop written role plays because it was taking over the time I needed for other writing but I introduced her to my girlfriend and they got to talking and role playing.

Well, for this friend, role play characters are a little more than just that and that's okay. However, recently something happened and she got really upset about something my girlfriend's character did (never mind that this is a fictional character) and my girlfriend wasn't getting rp replies back fast enough or talking to her as much and all hell broke lose. She vented to me about it and I agreed with her on most of it and stuck up for my girlfriend where sticking up was due. I'll be damned if this friend of mine didn't write a vicious letter to my girlfriend. They went back and forth over e-mail and she told my girlfriend some of the things I had expressed annoyance with. It's a damned good thing that I talked to my girlfriend about everything I'd talked to our friend about else there might have been trouble. I just let them sort it out between them, even though I knew this friend had used things I told her as ammunition against my girlfriend. I sure as hell wasn't happy about it though.

Then a couple of days later when things were calming down I saw a meme on facebook, one of my cousins had posted it and it was about crazy people. Personally, I thought it was damn funny and fit the person my cousin was posting it in reference to pretty well. My friend freaked out and thought I posted it in reference to her. *insert Carly Simon's song, You're so Vain* Honestly, I never even thought of her. But boy did I get a near two page message on facebook about how it hurt her.

So, I did the only thing I could do. I explained who the damned meme was for, assured her it wasn't about her, that I'm not out to get her, that my girlfriend and I aren't out to gang up on her, that I wouldn't mind still being her friend, but I certainly wasn't going to take any more crap, especially not after she threw me under the bus. I haven't heard from her since, just filled her game requests on facebook and she hasn't un-friend-ed me. I don't necessarily know what that means but the ball is in her court.

I don't mind that she got upset, I really don't. I mind that she back stabbed me. I didn't tell my girlfriend anything that she vented to me, that was between us and even if I should happen not to agree with anything she wants or wanted to vent about, I still wouldn't tell. Sometimes people just need someone to talk to who will actually listen.

I didn't like that she whined so much and kept using past events and that it seemed like she wanted to project them on to us. Um, we aren't stupid bitches who like to hurt people for the fun of it. And if I am pissed at someone I either will not tell them and vent it out on a blog or in a journal or I will tell them to their face. I don't do it via snide meme's on facebook.

I also mind that this issue took almost four days to resolve and that I spent so much time and energy trying to assure her that no one was trying to attack her when it could have just been taken care of within a couple of hours. Honestly the while all this was going on, even though I was trying to stay out of it as much as possible it really upset me and I wasn't able to focus on much else except cooking and some very light house work. I am still upset but like I told her while I won't put up with back stabbing and 'you're attacking me' bull shit (really, if I was attacking you you'd know it because I'd be in your face). I am not going to throw away a four year friendship so easily. I do forgive people, probably more than I should or ought to.

And of course there have been other little instances not too unlike this one with other friends, at least with the person freaking out on me, not over the same issues of course.   

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